Some people, are just too brave for their own good!

Ever met those kinda dudes? Those who jump on rivers from high peeks, those who climb mountains just to take a selfie ?

Those who just have to go and personally feed the crocodiles in the zoo?

Well meet Randy, an idiot who decided to go sky diving and whose parachute did not open.

Before we enter our amazing and unbelievable journey , let us take you back to what exactly led Randy to such dumbness. YOU GUESSED IT, a woman !

I believe that this world is home to 3 type of men, the ugly ones whose hairline becomes trash in their early thirties but because they are rich they still manage to marry a hot chick , the super good looking and nice guys who fall in love with some woman but she just wants to get her head mushed into a pillow by the so called bad boys .

And the slightly good looking guys with “god-knows-where” found self confidence that are surprisingly good at sex once you try them , and that was our Randy .

His grades sucked even though he was fairly intelligent, but his personality sucked even more . Randy in fact, was not a very nice person, so if you think this is going to be another one of those hero stories, or one of those where the main character goes around helping people out of good will, or where he resists the women’s charms and doesn’t cheat on his girlfriend and such, stop reading this instant.

After being scammed by the so called government benefits and joined the army, he found he was actually pretty skilled and the feeling of fighting wars was actually pretty addicting.

Every man actually has those feelings of masculinity, they always imagine themselves in the frontlines showing valour and heroism, and even though he had ruined the lives of many innocents whose government was labelled as dangerous by his home country, deep down he knew that he was just murdering for those bastard politicians to get their hands on some oil .

But did Randy care? Kinda I guess...

Just 2 months after joining, the military coaches saw his bravery on their daily sessions and he was favoured by the higher ups for just minding his own business and obeying. Randy was the kinda dude those bastards like, the one who doesn’t ask questions , who plays dumb and does as he is told .

But the system wasn’t bad enough for him to quit his job and start a 9 to 5 , they allowed the soldiers to vent their frustrations with all sorts of things .

For example, every time they would find themselves in a foreign village away from military facilities, the headquarters would feign ignorance and allow the soldiers to have fun with those poor foreign women who would, most of the time, be forced into submission. I know right, the true face of the army was ugly, not something the ordinary social media guy who watches motivational videos on instagram would understand.

The real world isn’t something that dudes with “The lion doesn’t care what sheep think” in their instagram bio can understand.

Randy would sometimes have fun like the rest of the soldiers, because you know how humans are. Wrong as it may be, they wont mind once everyone starts doing it . A person is as good as its influence, you can only imagine it through different perspectives. Say murder and all sorts of crimes were allowed, would you really not commit any crimes?

And even though Randy had a girlfriend who he loved so much that at times he would not believe such a woman would be with him, a woman who would wait for him for years when he was on expeditions overseas , he still never had second thoughts when doing it.

Randy believed that it should be allowed for men to have mistresses and side women to relieve stress every once in a while, he in fact believed that having a mistress leads to a healthy relationship because once a dude was trapped with only one woman, chances are he would ditch her to buy milk and never return again . But turns out, that his girlfriend had the same thoughts, she enjoyed being with Randy, his masculinity and natural charms that men have had since desolate eras, but when he was away she liked company of other men. She worked on several strip clubs as well, sometimes even as a high level escort, and when he returned he even found her having a threesome on his own bed.

Well, at least she did with 2 men, she respected herself enough for her to not allow another woman in her threesome.

As thing has it in our times, she filed a law suit against Randy when he beat the crap out of the dudes and she even lied and said that Randy abused her as well.

Which was, according to Randy, unfortunately not true. OH HOW HE WISHED HE ACTUALLY SMACKED THE BITCH, but yeah you can guess what happened next.

Due to his military service, he was not locked up but the house, car and all the money he had saved to buy a boat went to her . The higher ups did not fire him because they didn’t want someone who knew their secrets to be displeased and share them with the public, so they called it retirement and gave him a pension enough to get by, which she took half of by the way!

Life had smacked him hard, and Randy decided to do what he did in these situations, do something extreme to re ignite his passion to live .

When his basketball team would lose and he lost bets, he would go to the gym for high intensity training, when his father kicked him out of his house at 16 he literally went swimming on dangerous waters full of sharks and sea creatures .

When this happened to him, he called on a buddy from the army and asked him to give him a helicopter ride and a parachute. Stupid Randy, did he truly think the higher ups would let him live with all he knew,and the idiot actually presented them with the best opportunity to eliminate him without the bastards from the press getting involved .

They gave him a fake parachute and not a single limb of him was ever found .

THE END, just kidding

As things had it in stories, he woke up again in another man’s body.