《Falling Back》Who Could You Be
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Have you ever had someone that has been there all the time? No I'm not talking about a friend that has been there for you. I'm talking about a random person, a stranger. The person who has been there all the time, (well in my case, the defintion of a long time is one year, seven months and twenty three days) and yet you didn't notice them until it was too late or you know you're just left with a short amount of time. (Luckily and unluckily, I was left with a couple of months.)
When you finally do notice them it'll feel amazing and confusing. You will ask yourself questions about: Why you didn't you notice them? How long have they been here? Will I do something about it? And many more. Some people call this "self-absorbed" but I call this "I'm not gay."
Now enough of the wonderings, actually no there will still be a lot of that but as of now, let's get on with a little story.
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We were at our school gym watching different performances related to the all time favourite subject English. Which I did not excel at. I was sitting there with my friend in front of the stage where all performances occured. The two of us were debating about an offensive and controversial topic.
When it was time for the next performance, to which my surprise wasn't really related to English, it was a performance by the seniors. They wore flannels and jeans and I thought about how the girls looked amazing in it. Of course the guys did too.
When they started dancing to a famous pop song, one person stood apart. That was when it started. I felt like I was supposed to be there, that I found something that I was looking for. But I brushed it off and thought it was just a chance to move on.
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He was dancing there, rolling his eyes, looking like he wanted to die.
I laughed at this and thought, same.
I didn't pay too much attention on that person. I didn't even know who he was. Then the next day came.
I started seeing that person again and again. It started when they were going to our classroom for their research paper. I wasn't paying attention that day, my head was down and my chin rested on my arms. I was spacing out. A while later I heard the door open. I rose my head and saw a familiar face walking in along with his classmates. The familiar face was wearing glasses. That's when I saw his eyes clearly, it sparkled through his glasses. I studied his face cautiously to not look like a creep, I thought he looked cute.
He was all I can think about. A few days later I finally learned his name, it was Jules.
When I saw Jules every school day I knew in fact that I was attracted to him. At first there was denial liked what happened back then, but this time there was something different.
Almost activity that I did lead to them.
One time we even competed with each other at table tennis, I was actually surprised that they were competing in that game, I thought he didn't like sports based from my previous encounters with him. I was so flustered that I wasn't able to give my best.
When I saw him in the cafeteria with his friends I would sometimes sneak glances and my heart would flutter. What was funny that Jules' group usually sat near our table in the cafeteria. If only I noticed sooner.
I finally admitted to myself that I liked him, but I didn't do anything. It was hopeless I thought, it was too late.
It was just a crush. A freshman crushing on a graduating senior.
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