Monday came and Liam still had no idea what he could do to his thesis to have Dr. Amla accept it. His other classes don’t call for much of his attention which he is thankful for because this is something he is really finding difficult. After his classes for the day, Liam heads to the library to look up sample theses online. The biggest difference I see is that these theses do not give leeway for their topics. Every one of them states the topic and give no room for interpretation. Liam found this interesting - he was never really an assertive person, but after his recent outbreak it’s clear something is changing.

Liam sat at the computer with a blank word document open for quiet some time. Everything he started to type he hated. Either it was, as he felt, too mean or not to the point he wanted to make. He has always been a believer that people can change. He felt he was starting to and yet still couldn’t convey his thoughts into a feasible thesis. For some reason his mind felt foggy. Maybe if I take a walk I’ll be able to think things clearly and be able to write.

After hours of walking he still couldn’t ponder where his thoughts were. Am I changing what I believe? Why else wouldn’t I be able to write this. Every paper I ever had to write just came naturally to me and I thought my first thesis was the same. The more he thought the more he walked until eventually he didn’t recognize his surroundings. He could see the forest which his dorm was bordering but no buildings or signs to lead him there. I’ll just head back the way I came. He turned around and couldn’t remember which direction he came from. He looked all over and nothing was familiar. The woods are by the dorm I bet if I head straight into them, I will eventually wind up where I want.

Hours of walking through the woods and no sign of the dorm made Liam start to panic. The sun was setting and there was very little light left in the day. He starts running trying to use whatever light he still had but it was useless. Getting winded Liam takes a break to catch his breath and hears rustling behind him. The hairs on the back of his neck stand up and he feels something is about to happen. He quickly turns around to see a fox that starts to run away. Maybe this was the fox that was on campus, maybe if I follow it I will be lead back. Liam starts chasing the fox until he couldn't see it anymore. While walking around trying to find it, it suddenly pops, seemingly, out of the ground. Heading that way he sees that it is a fox burrow. Dug perfectly out to keep the fox safe, something he wish he could do that moment. Foxes will bring items they find back to their burrow, maybe there will be a flashlight or something I can use to see. Liam knew this was a dumb thought but he was helpless. Reaching in the burrow he feels something metal. Excitedly he pulls it out quickly to see what he found. Liam sat there staring at what he just pulled out.

A… a gun. Why is there a gun? How would a fox find a gun?

Every bad thought suddenly rushed into Liam’s head. Was this used in a crime? Are all of my fingerprints on it now? His head jerked up as he hears something or someone in the distance. Quickly he threw down the firearm, back where he found it and took off as fast as he could. I’ve never shot a gun, I have never even held a gun. Why is it causing me so much fear now that I have? Seeing a light in the distance Liam darts towards that direction and finds himself back on campus. He heads to his dorm trying to cope with the event that just happened.

Why is there a gun… why is there a gun…? What was the noise I heard? Was a person hiding it there and returning to get it or check on it? Did whatever it was see me? Too nervous to sleep he layed in his bed staring at the ceiling. Suddenly the door shot open and Liam let out a scream. He looked at the door. Standing there was his roommate and a couple girls now staring at him. He apologizes and makes up an excuse of reading a scary book. He knew they wouldn’t actually believe that but he couldn’t care less about that. After a couple minutes of his roommate packing a pair of clothes they leave the room. His mind was forced into thinking about that gun. His father died from a stray bullet, fired by a hunter that was closer to town than he realized. He didn’t even remember his father but still the tears flooded his eyes and started to run down his face. The past couple days have been so filled with emotion and a foggy mind that it all just hit him at once. Unable to control himself he let out a loud cry until he couldn’t see through the tears.

Knock knock. Liam still crying looked at the door and went up to it to see out the eye hole. Standing there is his RA. After gathering his composure and wiping his face, he opened the door. The RA could tell Liam was crying but that’s not why he was there. He was letting him know the campus was on lock down because shots were fired earlier that day in the town only a couple miles away from the university. Liam closed the door without saying a word now even less able to keep his mind straight. Gun shots? Were they from… from the gun I held…? All night he stared at the wall by his bed unable to fall asleep. He rolled over toward the window to see the sun was starting to rise. His mind has shut down. He couldn’t think but at the same time he couldn’t stop thinking. He put on his shoes and decided to see if the gun was still there.

After wandering around the woods for an hour he sees the fox leaving his burrow for the day and ran up to the empty hole in the ground. It is still here. Thank God it is still here. But my fingerprints are still on it. What do I do? Liam took the gun and, a few meters over, dug a hole and buried the gun. He covered it up and prayed that no one ever finds it. He heads back to his dorm exhausted. The gun not being missing and now hidden by him gave him some relief from all the stress and thoughts. He got back to his bed, laid down, and fell asleep. Missing all of his classes for the day.