Three Weeks Ago

"Just what is it that you think you'll find?" He asked her in arrant indifference, more for the sake of asking than for the need of any actual reply. If she noticed, she didn't show it.

"Keep the light steady," she uttered absently, a drop of sweat trickling down her forehead and catching on her brow as she tightened the final nut on the telescope. He inched the flashlight closer, his attentions suddenly arrested by the provocative luminescence of her face and the soft breeze that fluttered strands of her hair over her eyes.

"I don't know," she answered, her response so delayed that he'd already forgotten the question. "Maybe nothing, possibly everything."

~X~

She used to count the stars, lying supine on the flat roof that extended beyond her bedroom window. It was forbidden to her, and she had endured more than a few scoldings for stealing off onto the rooftop, but she was undaunted; determined to find her answers in the infinite night sky. The child always began her count from Polaris, making her way along the handle of the little dipper, then down to the saucepan of its more prominent twin, tracing a path from one asterism to the next.

Ephraim had taught her all about the stars as they lay side by side on that rooftop, spinning tales about the sparkling clusters that Ellie would never find in any constellation book. Within those stories he planted seedlings of magic and destiny, and from them sprouted a longing for love. The kind of love that drove people to hell and back and condemned star-crossed lovers to the eternity of the night sky, their passions burning on that dark canvass like a whispered secret.

And Claire had gleamed much like those stars.

The first time they met, Ellie hid behind her brother's muscled back, clutching his shirt as she peered shyly at the girl with the silvery blonde hair and the shimmering azure eyes. Her studded earrings and silver bracelets glittered in the sunlight, and it appeared as if a soft white glow sheened off her fair skin.

She was Ephraim's classmate back then, long before words like girlfriend and wife had painted them into little corners. And Ellie was the guarded little sister who only knew to impose herself on the generosity of her doting brother.

"You have such pretty hair," the older pretty girl told her, a honey sweet smile on her lips. "Braids really suit you."

Ellie pulled harder on Ephraim's shirt; her small timid hands hidden inside the long sleeves of her sweater. A blush spread feverishly over her cheeks.

Ephraim laughed and gently pried her out from hiding.

"It's okay, shorty. She doesn't bite."

But Ellie did bite.

Ellie was only seven, but she could already see the look in her brother's eyes, basking in the reverie of the pretty girl's stardust.

"Y-you're ugly!" The child sputtered loudly at the girl, once again bolting to the safety of her brother's broad back.

Ellie glared at her, her crinkled brows turning white, but the child's jealousy perished under the guilt ignited by the resilient smile that never left the girl's lovely face. She wondered if anyone could truly be so kind.

The Claire that she came to know over the years was still personified by that warm, subdued smile. A smile that for all intents, portrayed a pleasing and affable girl, as radiant as a dying star.

"Want a beer?" Gavin asked, tossing the flashlight onto the ground as Ellie rose and dusted grass off her knees. She handed him the nut wretch, practically slapping it in the palm of his hand.

"My brother's gonna kick your ass if you keep stealing his beers," she warned with a disapproving frown. But then added, "I'll grab us a couple," before she disappeared back into the house.

She hadn't expected the sound of hushed voices or the rustle of fabric when she traipsed her way through the kitchen, pausing mid-step with two sweaty, cold beers in her hands as the voices echoed off the walls of the darkened hallway. A small light flicked on, and two shadows inched their way through the long entryway, refracting as they emerged into the open area of the adjacent living room.

Ellie froze.

"We really shouldn't do this here," Claire gasped, barely managing to speak between Ephraim's unending assault of kisses. His large calloused hands enveloped her hips and pulled them firmly against his own, his mouth devouring hers like a starved orphan, unable to satiate his greed.

"Oh, come on, babe," Ephraim whined and silenced her before she could protest further, dipping his tongue deeper into her mouth even as he tugged at the buttons on her blouse, slowly popping one after the other. "Just for a little bit."

Ellie watched them from her blackened corner of the kitchen, the stillness of her eyes like the tranquil sea, but the hues of her irises were droplets of petulant oceans, darkening and unforgiving. She was keenly aware of the cold beers in her hands, numbing her fingers and dripping tiny puddles onto the polished wood floors. Every muscle in her body stiffened in her petrified repose. Still, she wouldn't move.

"Your sister could be home any minute now," Claire breathlessly replied, thinly masking the ire teeming from her voice. She pushed him away, brusquely shedding his embrace, but as she turned away, he captured her from behind, his arms harnessed over her chest like a straitjacket.

"She's probably out with Gavin," Ephraim persisted, tracing his lips along her neckline, and teasing a hand across her taut stomach, his fingers slipping under the lacy fabric of his wife's brassiere. She flinched.

"What's taking you so long with those beers?" Gavin obnoxiously projected into the house, loudly pushing the backdoor wide open and flicking on the kitchen light.

"Why are you just standing there?" He was quick to notice the condensation dripping down the beer bottles, and the deer-in-headlights look on Ellie's face, but it was clear from his perplexed eyes that he had not seen Ephraim and Claire.

Ellie didn't turn around right away. The moment the lights flooded the kitchen, her eyes had connected with Claire's. And for a fleeting moment, she glimpsed the girl who had cried endlessly on the night of her engagement, and whose tears had shimmered like silver droplets as her sobs swelled through the church halls outside her bridal room.

She had never hated her more than she had back then.

"Oh, Jeez!" Ephraim cried out and he and Claire quickly scrambled to compose themselves. Claire moved behind him, stealing one more look at Ellie, and concealing her reddening face as she clasped her buttons. Ellie had not been blind to Gavin's unabashed stare at her brother's wife, a stare he'd held a few seconds too long, and she was certain Ephraim had also noticed. His eyes had hardened as he sized him up.

It was only after Gavin excused himself and hurried back outside that Ellie realized he'd liberated the beers from her hands.

"Those better not be my beers!" Ephraim shouted after Gavin as he swiped his cap from the kitchen counter and ran after him. Then it was just Ellie and Claire, and the awkward silence while Claire finished clasping the buttons on her shirt.

~X~

"Can you get a good look at the north star with your new telescope?" Claire had her arms folded over her chest, her eyes searching the night sky for Polaris. Ellie looked up from the eyepiece, regarding her sister-in-law with wonder. The moonlight sheened off her silvery blonde hair, suffusing her lovely face in a warm, effulgent glow.

"It's too far," she replied, trying not to stare. "But I can see the rings of Saturn with it."

"Really?" Claire sounded like an eager child. The energetic timbre of her voice sent a tiny tremor down Ellie's spine, and she was overcome by a nauseating, fluttery tingle.

"I can show it to you if you like."

Claire looked uncertain. Even at her most inoffensive, Ellie always seemed to teeter on the cusp of provocation, set off by the most innocuous of things.

"Do I just look through it?"

Ellie moved aside. "Go ahead. Just don't touch it." She didn't mean to stare so long into her eyes, or take notice of the supple curves of her hips and her long ivory legs. She tore her gaze away, anger silently beginning to swell in her chest.

Claire rounded the large telescope and leaned her head forward, peering through the eyepiece. There was a warmth that was not there before, diffusing from the softness in her eyes; a warmth that rarely materialized in the presence of her husband. The smile that tinged her lips and kindled her eyes were like a betrayal. Whispering the secret that Ellie had always known.

The woman that stood before her, the girl with the shimmering blonde hair, and the azure eyes, swimming in waves of sorrow beneath the radiance of that smile, was not in love with Ellie's brother. Ephraim could never see it. He'd stopped counting the stars a long time ago, too busy with girls and football for anything else to matter. But Ellie could see it, and she hated her for it.

Her hatred was much like a curse prescribed by the stars; authored by a cruel and whimsical universe intent on dramatic irony. Ellie, who sought her answers in the celestial sky, who longed for the magic of stardust, and the promise of love, was only just beginning to understand that Polaris was not a glittering distant star, but a girl; a tragic and lonely, stupid girl who did not know the first thing about love.

"I can see why you like the stars so much," Claire uttered, a yearning weighing down her words. "Up this close, they are beyond compare."

And she was.