《Rabid Animals, Fantastic!》Epilogue 10.3: Actually, This Friendship was Pretty Likely
Advertisement
--Two weeks after that night--
It was an unlikely meeting. Two people depositing checks at the local bank, happening to cross paths and instantly being displeased. After that, on a very painful suggestion, they agreed to get lunch.
“So, you’re paying, right?” Honey asked as she sat down.
“No, I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to be,” Lance said, setting his hat on the table. “You got paid way more than me, right? That means you foot the bill. Anyway, you asked me here.”
“The hell are you talking about? You’re the one who asked me if we could come here.”
“No, not at all. It was the complete opposite.”
“Did something happen to your brains? Because I think you might actually have dementia.”
“Shut the- oh, why hello,” Lance said, instantly changing gears as the waitress approached their table. “I’ll just have water for now, thank you.”
“Same.”
Once she was out of earshot, they continued the back and forth of berations.
“Where was I?”
“You were about to explain why you’re so stupid.”
“Huh? No, that definitely isn’t right. Maybe I’ll just explain how stupid you are.”
“Did you just try and flip my insult back around? Ha. How pathetic.”
“What? You’re the worst.”
“Then what does it make you, paying for the worst person’s lunch?”
“I’m not paying, you are.”
“Noooo~pe.”
“Don’t try to act cute. I can’t afford a place like this.”
“Then why’d you choose it?”
“I didn’t choose it, you did!”
“Nope. I said we should go get gelato. You were the one who wanted food.”
“You’re just making up whatever you please at this point, aren’t you?”
“You only now realized this? How long have we been going head to head?”
Advertisement
“Gah! Crazy woman!”
“Meh. Clueless cowboy.”
The waitress returned with the waters, and the two sat in complete silence, staring daggers at each other. As if the waitress could sense the tension in the air, she smiled weakly and set two menus down in front of the customers.
“I-if you need anything,” the waitress said. “Just wave me down. Oh...I recommend the daily special. Ok, bye.” Then hurried off.
“And look at that, your craziness scared her off. The worst.”
“No, if she was scared off by anything, it would be your creepy eyes. Don’t lie, I can tell when those lecherous beads are having a time.”
“Huh? What? Seriously?”
“...”
“Wait, were you really being serious?”
“...no, I was actually joking. But the way you just took it makes you seem like an actual creep. You’re not looking at me in a weird way right now, right?”
“Huh? No way! Not at all.”
“That doesn’t sound very convincing...I’m starting to get worried…”
“What are you worried for? What kind of person do you think I am?”
“Well, if you’re other personalities are something to go by…”
“How do those assholes have anything to do with me!? You’re not actually lumping me in with those guys, right? Please tell me you’re not.”
“To be fair, some of them are pretty great. I wouldn’t mind seeing Hippolyta more often.”
“Hippolyta doesn’t speak…”
“Duh. That’s exactly why I’d rather have him around than you.”
“Evil woman!”
They chatted on for longer, mocking each other and sparing verbally until their food came. Then they kept going on, one person lambasting while the other ate. Any onlookers would have wondered why two great enemies would be doing something like this, but while their words to each other were quite sadistic, there wasn’t much malice between the two. Eventually, once their plates were cleaned, the conversation had died.
Advertisement
“Still, I can’t believe I actually thought the two of you were Jackal,” Lance said, staring out the window. “When you showed up to Loren’s room that night, I was totally confused.”
“Haha. Why would you think we were Jackal?”
“Because you showed up? Anyway, I couldn’t imagine it. Nobody knows anything about Jackal, and he’s way too secretive. Leaves bloody messes of people and stupefied bodyguards. Vanishes without a trace, like the entire scene was caused by a ghost. I’m a little disappointed that I didn’t get to face off against him, but also a bit glad. It would’ve been sad if Loren died.”
“Wow, I didn’t realize you were so obsessed with Jackal. Would you turn ‘em in to the police if you ever caught ‘em?”
“Of course,” Lance said. “Someone like that is just too much. You guys may be bad, but at least you’re not as evil as Jackal.”
Honey blinked.
“Right. Well, anyway, I gotta use the ladies’ room, so I’ll be right back.”
She left him with the bill.
Advertisement
- In Serial19 Chapters
Sacred Light Divinity
An angel-like being awakens in the middle of a world where humanity has been borderline annihilated. Enslaved, abused and without hope, the angel finds out that it is far too easy to exploit such a situation to its advantage. And thus, the story of a god is made. (Story has a very long timeline, with events having a lot of time in-between them, so expect a lot of time skipping)
8 146 - In Serial11 Chapters
Mecha Stalin Massacre (An alternate-universe steampunk LitRPG)
A nerdy underdog, an ex-KGB* operative, and an unorthodox bard must work fight murder their way out of a 1937 Soviet Gulag. What would it look like if you combined a LitRPG with a gritty historical thriller and a big dumb action flick? It would look awesome, that’s what. Expect narrow escapes, intimate murders, harsh status ailments, tactical gunplay, philosophical musings, and an overpowered Mecha Stalin. * Back then it was called the NKVD
8 64 - In Serial14 Chapters
For The Right Price
Follow the adventures of Jack, the aloof, carefree and highly sarcastic bounty hunter and his buddy, the all-serious, all knowing Spike, in their adventures as bounty hunters for The People's Federation, a multi-billion dollar corporation specializing in the finding and retrieval of the missing spouses and runaway mistresses of the 1%. If you have a problem, and the money to solve it, The People's Federation has the solution. Completely discreet, completely effective.
8 163 - In Serial25 Chapters
Crocodilian
An aspiring cartographer with the ability to teleport is sent on his first assignment by the guild to the swamp town of Yonledo in order to verify the mayor’s claims that giant, man-eating crocodiles are terrorizing the townsfolk. This steampunk-ish, fantasy, horror novella is set within the world of Havek where dragons and vampyrs are commonplace and people with magical abilities are known as either Blessed or Cursed. Crocodilian will be posted serially first on the Storyletter Substack, then subsequently on RR, Wattpad, and Medium. Hope you enjoy! ~ WM
8 77 - In Serial12 Chapters
Chance×Up /Completed/
...Шюга:Тэдний нэр хүнд унахаас биднийх унах биш. Тэр завхай эмэгтэй...Намжүүн:МИН ЮНГИ ТҮҮНИЙГ ТЭГЖ ХЭЛЭХЭЭ БОЛЬ!!Тэхён: Та одоог хүртэл хайртай гэж үүНамжүүн: Одоог хүртэл хайртай.........Скүүпс:Би чамд хайртай. Энэ миний чамд хэлэх сүүлчийн үг. гэж хэлэн өрөөнөөс гаран явлаа.......Бэкхён: Ийм хайрыг би хаанаас ирж олох вэ?Би: Олох гэж хичээх хэрэггүй чиний хажууд байдаг юм. Хэт их хайгаад байвал олдохгүй...
8 127 - In Serial56 Chapters
Sweet Child of Chaos
"Loving the monsters always ends badly for the human. It's a rule"Kisa Petrova finds herself being tortured day after day for over 30 years, what happens after she meets a certain werecoyote that too doesn't know how to be human?Let's add a vampire to this equation, shall we? Let's see what happens when we have a bloodsucker in Teen Wolf.
8 193

