As long as Abek could recall, his dreams were not too much different from his life, just a bit stranger, not to mention more violent.

The dream he was having now was not at all like the dreams he was accustomed to. It wasn’t a dream of darkness, of ice and snow, of brutality and lust. It was a dream of light, bright light so strong it broke into his mind, filling all the darkness and flooding his thoughts.

And what his mind was filling with was incredible.

He was floating, twisting in the streams of light, like beams from a torch, like light through the clouds from the cold sun. And that was just the beginning.

Then, in the blink of an eye, he wasn’t floating so much as he was now flowing, along in a stream of light, nothing of him, no body or limbs or even eyes, ears, vision, hearing, but his thoughts and his awareness. Around him there were many other streams each a different color each a different awareness.

Were they thinking, as he was? Were they alive? It was like they were, somehow.

He tried to reach out to one, felt its essence, its thoughts, its mind. A cold glance, a watch in the dark, a plan to steal. Then, an awareness of his presence and total rejection. He was knocked completely back into his own stream.

Was this just a dream? Or something much, much more? He tried to look through the lights, force his awareness into the stream and he began to comprehend the streams had a destination. They were all flowing into a growing, looming brightness ahead. Something so bright it made his mind hurt, caused him searing pain.

That light was more than just brightness. It was the source of the thoughts streaming into his mind. He could tell they weren’t like his thoughts. He didn’t know how, didn’t know why, but they were alien – numbers, visualizations, plans, probabilities. They pounded into his mind, pounded through his mind as he was pulled towards it.

For a moment he could hear the thoughts, from what seemed like hundreds of minds, thousands of minds – muttering of what sounded like men, women, even children – working, playing, fighting, having sex. All of those things were wrapped up in the streams around him as they all grew closer and closer, closing in on the massive, undeniable light before him.

Then he felt that alien presence touch his mind touch his mind a gain, but in a different way. This was something new, something thoughtless. His being was opened up by the light, spread out into the light. He was becoming part of it, as he reached it, entered it. He was becoming a piece of it, a fragment, a tiny part of a vast whole.

The universe grew around him, turned to chaos, then reformed, reshaped into a massive structure that was as infinitely complex even as it was personal and intimate. He was part of it. And it was part of him.

And he appreciated it, he wanted it, he loved it. He enjoyed penetrating it, enjoyed it’s penetration of him. It was making itself his. As he belonged to it, he could make it all his. He could be the ruler, the controller of this universe. It had accepted him. If only he had the time to comprehend its patterns, its shapes, it’s minds.

But it was so… so vast.

Just long enough. I need enough time. Give me enough time!

Goastretched himself out and touched all he could. And everything accepted his touch. All the thoughts, plans, dreams, loves, hates. He was gathering it all into him.

And then the lights began to go out. He tried to hold on to what he had gathered, but they faded like stars into the blackness of endless night, of nothingness.

“No!” he cried out, tried to maintain his strength, power, motivation.

But nothing worked. He was back in darkness. Nothingness. Emptiness. Numbness.

Is it over? Is it gone? Is this it? Is this what it means to be dead?