《Stained Warriors》Dread
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After our bizarre encounter, we found ourselves devoid of energy. We decided to rest for the night and decide what to do with our expanded world view tomorrow. We set up the camp with difficulty, and Ngebe tried her best to prepare dinner, but I have no appetite to eat. Not to waste her effort, I forced myself to eat a few mouthfuls and politely decline seconds.
The night is peaceful, but my mind is in chaos. My mind is raising, I don't know what to do, I feel lost, and it's like I'm going to freeze. I need to calm down. Everything is going to be alright. I need to keep my self together for Ngebe's sake.
With this thought in mind, I glanced at my sister. Surprisingly, I find that Ngebe is relatively calm. I expected that she is shaken as I am after what she experienced. She felt my gaze, and she looked up, but I avoided her eyes. She noticed this but said nothing. I suppose she wants to give me time for myself, so she did not try to engage me in any conversation.
The night passed, but I failed to get any sleep. I sensed that Ngebe roused herself and started to prepare our breakfast. However, I choose to remain in my beroll, pretending to be asleep, not planning to get up. I feel guilty that Ngebe is doing all the work while I'm sulking here, not trying to help. However, I felt crippling anxiety growing from inside of me.
Last night, Ngebe told me what she experienced; she told me about the Stained Warriors' return. She also discussed the possible implications of it. Hearing her words, I realized how significant are the implications; it something bigger than I ever imagined. Not only our lives may put in danger, but so is the whole of PenTerra.
Even after everything that Lang had said and the attack of the giant wolf of Kasa Village, even then, I felt skeptical about me becoming a Stained Warrior. I still have a sliver of hope that everything is just a misunderstanding and everything will someday return to what was used to be. However, hearing it directly from my sister is the last straw. Reality dawned on me like a crashing mountain. It hit me hard in a way I never imagined.
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"Stop pretending to be asleep. Get up; breakfast is ready. We have a long journey ahead of us." Ngebe's voice snapped me off my stupor. I forced myself to get off my bedroll, tidy it up, and put it back on my pack. Ngebe patiently waited as I move with a dazed look.
The soup smells excellent, and it feels warm, yet my stomach seems to reject it. After two mouthfuls, I have no choice but to stop. Ngebe, on the other hand, finished her soup without delay and proceeded to prepare for the journey.
Ngebe didn't ask me anything, nor did she talks to me about our next plan. She calmly rides her horse while I trail along. The silence stayed for half a day. Before I know it, we stopped to let the horse rest and let them drink by the spring Ngebe found. She refilled our water skins and prepared a little something for lunch.
Once again, I don't have any appetite. I've been staring at the brown bread on my hands for a few minutes now. Yet, I didn't take a bite. Suddenly, I felt somebody's gaze has fallen upon me. I look up, and Ngebe gave me one of her sharp eyes. With difficulty, I ate the bread. I drank water to keep the food down in my stomach.
We get back on the road right away. The same suffocating silence assaulted our party of two. I feel terrible, and it feels like nothing makes sense in this world. I gaze at Ngebe's face, but she has the same nonchalant expression. My anger came out of nowhere after seeing this. "Why are you taking everything so calmly?"
Hearing my angry voice, Ngebe gave me a passing glance and nothing more; this might be my imagination, but this is the first time in my life that Ngebe gave me such a cold treatment. I was taken aback, not knowing what to say. "Stop!" I roared. Ngebe let her horse letting my horse catch up to her. When I reached her side, I heard a loud smack before it registered that Ngebe slapped me.
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The slap is light, but I can feel a stinging pain on my cheeks. "Until when are you stop acting like a child? Do you think it was easy for me to accept this...this..." her calm voice is starting to crack, but she held it in. "Nothing will change if we sulk and do nothing. If you can't pull yourself together, then I have to be strong for the both of us."
I staggered back, making fell from the back of the horse, but I manage to land on my feet because of my newfound reflexes. I was selfish; I am only thinking about myself. I forgot that my sister is with me and we will face everything together. My tears start to trickle without me noticing.
Ngebe dismounted her horse; then she hugged me gently without saying a word. Her embrace is like a hot blanket over my freezing body. The accumulated stressed I experienced poured down without restraint. I felt weak on my knees, but Ngebe stood like an unshakable pillar I can lean on.
We stayed like this for the whole 5 minutes. Five minutes without talking, no explanation, no comforting words, no words needed. I never admitted it, but Ngebe knows I'm afraid... She knows the anxiety I felt, she has it herself, yet she chooses to be brave for my sake.
We continued our journey for few more hours until the sun started to set. Our camp was set up with practice eased, and this time I help my sister prepared dinner. My stomach growled the whole time. The boiled jerky tasted very good without too much seasoning. This time I feel contented.
"So what now?"
"We proceed with our previous plan. There are things I need; hopefully, we can purchase it from the nest town. We no longer within Kasa village; we need to gather information for us to survive. But our priority is to make you stronger."
"How do we do that? You said it yourself, the art of tattooing is gone in history, and we don't even know how it works."
"What I told you is partially true. The art of tattooing is not totally forgotten. If I can unlock the memories stored in my head, it will be possible for me to perform the ritual."
"How do you unlock those memories?"
"It's hard to explain in words. I'll show when the time comes." She gave me a reassuring smile.
I want to know more, but it's apparent that she doesn't want to talk about it, so I didn't pursue the matter—there nothing I can do but trust her.
"We need to get some sleep, especially for you. You need to get some rest as much as you can, I reckon, will arrive at the next town tomorrow night." She said with a solemn face.
She was about to unpack her bedroll when I hold her hand. "Thank you! And I'm sorry for my earlier behavior. I promised to protect you, but your the one who protects me instead." I looked directly at her eyes and gently squeezed her hand to show my resolve. "I'll try my best to get stronger."
She squeezed my hand back, and she gave me an approving nod. "Good night, brother." Her voice was gentle; I squeezed her hand one more time then released it.
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