《Numba Cruncha》Peteru &Uretep Show How It's Done
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4: Peteru & Uretep Show How It’s Done
Peteru was shaking his head in confusion. ‘Excuse me asking, your worship, but isn’t NumbaCruncha supposed to remain a secret until the unveiling?’
‘Yes.’
‘Surely those people will talk?’
‘I said they’d be released and rewarded,’ the Chief Mage said with a shallow smile. ‘I didn’t say what they’d be released from. They have been led to a chute marked ‘exit’ and halfway down the negrav-lift will fail. When they hit bottom they’ll be going so fast they won’t have time to register their release from the cares of this world.’
‘You mean…?’
‘They’ll immediately be rewarded with eternal life by becoming part of the nutrient soup that feeds the algae that feeds everyone.’ Her condescending smirk shocked Peteru and Uretep to open-mouthed silence. ‘What?’ the Mage laughed. ‘Their fate disturbs you? They’re only Freemen, not Aristocrats. Easily replaceable. Isn’t that so, Ethel?’
‘Of course.’ Ethel was on the small side, at least compared to the Chief, and unlike her superior exceedingly neat and smart. ‘The energy department had become over staffed, so this is a convenient redistribution of personnel.’
‘But…’ Peteru felt compelled to protest. It was the first time he had seen anyone naked apart from Uretep, and he’d been amazed at how beautiful they’d all been. Not so much their faces, although none were unpleasant to look at, but their fine, clean-limbed, lean and honed bodies exuding health and life.
‘Enough!’ the Chief’s voice was dangerously strident. ‘You will never again question the actions of a Mage. Is that clear?’
Peteru bowed his head in submission. ‘Yes, your worship.’
‘Good. It’s question time.’
Hearts hammering, Peteru and Uretep faced their inquisitors.
‘Why the sexual arousal? Does it happen to everyone? To you too?’ demanded a powerfully built woman wearing an electric-blue gown.
‘Yes, your Worship,’ Uretep answered nervously, ‘and it’s very pleasurable and not in the least embarrassing. As for why, we’re not sure, but tests suggest that being transported excites the part of the brain that deals with sexual responses. As you saw, it’s not permanent. The urgent desire to copulate only lasts till the person is satisfied, and then he or she resumes normal behaviour. Far from having any ill effects, subsequent sexual pleasure and potency appear to be permanently increased.’
‘That doesn’t explain why they performed with such abandon and yet seemed completely unembarrassed.’
‘Our theory is that during digital transportation some learned behaviours that are against the natural order of life, are deleted from the brain.’
‘What do you mean by learned behaviours?’
‘Behaviours such as embarrassment and nervousness about nudity and sexual activity, are probably only the most obvious of the unnatural inhibitions that are removed during transport. Reproduction is the essential activity of all life, so it is unnatural to feel any inhibition or embarrassment about related activities. I imagine there’s a socio-political reason for the laws proscribing those behaviours in Oasis, which I assure you we are not criticising, however, after being transported by NumbaCruncha, consensual sexual activity seems as natural as eating, breathing, seeing or thinking, and not the slightest cause for shame or embarrassment. No doubt we will encounter more evidence of this effect in other spheres of activity as more people begin to use NumbaCruncha.’
‘Is it like that for you and Peteru?’
‘Yes.’
‘And is the effect permanent?’
‘Yes.’
‘So you and he would feel no embarrassment if we asked you to have sex now, in front of us?’
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‘None whatever.’
‘Do it then.’
‘If you insist. However the desire for sex after transportation, although strong, is not a compulsion and doesn’t last long. One can decide not to do it. You saw the men became reluctant, not from embarrassment, but because they’d had enough. Sex is more tiring for them than women. The decision about whether to indulge in sexual activity is based on things other than embarrassment, and at the moment neither of us feel the desire to copulate so it would probably be a disappointing performance.’
The Chief nodded thoughtfully, turned to the others and said with a smile, ‘I needn't tell you what a bonus this unexpected side effect will be! It almost makes me believe in divine intervention.’
Everyone laughed as at a private joke.
‘I’m not sure if the Emperor will be so sanguine,’ laughed an athletic and almost handsome Mage. ‘He’s not very well endowed in that department.’
‘And you’re speaking from experience, Justinian?’
‘One slightly disappointing experience,’ Justinian’s sigh was theatrical. ‘I demanded the right to sample the new head of state’s virility and discovered that the man may look like a stallion but that doesn’t mean he’s hung or acts like one.’
‘You were hoping he’d be hung like Fabien? Talk to him nicely and you never know...’
‘No way!’ the lean and cadaverous young man called Fabien laughed, ‘Xanthippe would never forgive me for filling another man’s hole, would you dear?’ He turned to an equally tall and scrawny woman who ignored him, merely remarking that the Empress always seemed satisfied.
‘Fortunately,’ a previously quiet woman giggled, ‘their personal guards are hung like stallions.’
Laughter.
‘Alice! How would you know?’
‘Because,’ she continued, ‘like Justinian, I too thought it essential to inspect the incoming head of state, but I sampled the bodyguard as well.’ More laughter.
‘It was no surprise to me that the women’s urges lasted twice as long as the men,’ an ancient crone in purple announced with an audible sniff. ‘You men are such pathetic creatures.’
‘Are you trying to start a fight, Nell?’ An overweight fellow asked lethargically.
‘As if she’d pick a fight with a great tub of lard like you,’ a tall scrawny woman snarled. ‘If it was left to men, humans would have died out millions of years ago. A quick play with themselves and they lose interest. As always it was the women who had to initiate fucking. Your people in the breeding centre had better remember that, Elbert, if you’re counting on reintroducing natural breeding.’
‘Xanthippe’s right! If a woman wants a child she has to be aggressive. Remember all those terrible fights, maiming and murders we used to have before putting chemicals in the food to remove their sex drive?’
‘Of course I remember, Ethel! And I hope you remember that the program was only successful because of my breeding programmes! If we hadn't done that, the women would have worn all the men out. Apropos of that, Fabien, when we go back to natural breeding I hope your enforcers will be up to policing it. I don’t want male-female disputes disturbing the peace we’ve enjoyed for so long!’
‘Elbert’s question is important, Fabien. Are you ready? With his breeding work and my early education programmes we’ve always produced exactly the number, sex and type of progeny we need, when we need them, with no fuss. I hope that isn't going to change!’
‘Don’t you get sick of blowing your own trumpet, woman?’ Fabien snapped irritably. ‘You stick to what you know and I’ll do the same!’
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‘It’s your trumpet that needs blowing up! I can’t remember the last time you were hard enough to be useful!’
‘You mean I’ve been jealous of your monster for nothing?’ a potbellied, homely young man laughed. ‘Come to my bed, Xanthippe if you’re looking for a good reaming of your bore hole.’
‘Ha! Your pathetic little dick wouldn’t even touch the sides of her cavern, Melvyn.’
Cheers and encouragement from the other Mages were replaced by a sudden silence as all eyes turned to the puzzled frowns and observant eyes of the young inventors.
‘Young men,’ Elbert said with a forced smile, ‘hadn’t you realised Mages are human?’
‘No, your worship, but I’m very relieved to see they are.’
‘Relieved? Why?’
‘We were worried the Mages might have difficulty accepting the side effects of nudity and liberated sexuality, but I realise now you are enlightened and forward-thinking rulers, as I should have expected knowing how well Oasis is governed by your worships.’
‘Ah! The sweet music of flattery. However, gratifying as it is to be worshipped, I have to confess there’s not much about us to worship.’ He turned to the others for confirmation. ‘Is there?’
‘Certainly not much about you, although that young Vassal girl you’ve been bedding lately obviously worships your rod at every opportunity.’
The genial atmosphere was restored and everyone laughed until the Chief raised her hand and turned to Peteru. ‘Don’t worry that you’ll be following the volunteers down the exit chute after we’ve picked your brains; we know you’re trustworthy. In fact, we know more about you than you know yourselves.’ She laughed dryly and turned to the others. ‘If there are any more questions let’s have them, and then I’d like the boys to demonstrate their apparatus with the charger full of jewels. After that we’ll have another session to ask about anything we don’t understand. But first, I want the seats rearranged so everyone has a good view and no one has to shout.’
Despite no obvious signal, hooded and cloaked Vassals appeared and moved the heavy thrones to form a tight half circle on the stone floor around the edge of the central carpet. Peteru placed one enseemat in front of Ishbel’s throne while Uretep arranged the other mats to complete the circle created by the chairs. When the Mages were seated, the two young men stood quietly in the centre of the circle.
‘Well, get on with it!’ Ishbel was already impatient.
‘Certainly, your Worship.’
‘As Elbert said, forget the worship nonsense. My name’s Ishbel.’ She sighed at Uretep’s expression. ‘I suppose you imagined I’d be called Oggbog or something equally exotic? I guess it’s time I came clean and confessed what you’ve already guessed; Mages are not gods, and at this time we need you more than you need us. Oasis is old, run down, falling apart at the seams, on the verge of collapse due to a variety of problems. We have plans well underway for the future, but until your NumbaCruncha people-moving invention we were stuck for solutions to a variety of immediate concerns, which we’ll discuss after you’ve been inducted into the Mage-hood.’
‘But…!’
‘Relax. It’s merely protocol. Legally, only Mages are permitted to attend our discussions and meetings and make decisions, therefore you’ll have to become honorary Mages for the duration of our association. OK?’
Uretep and Peteru nodded thoughtfully.
‘You see,’ Ishbel continued with what the two young men thought was a little too much breezy insouciant honesty, ‘there’s nothing exotic or mysterious about running a business, making a profit, and ensuring stability by keeping the people of Oasis in line. If NumbaCruncha is all you say it is, then your genius deserves to be rewarded handsomely. And it will be. Today you move up to the top floors with us. Meanwhile, how does one enseemat know to send you to another one? And how does that one know to receive you?’
‘And when everyone has their own implant and wants to go to one of a thousand destinations in Oasis, how will it work?’ interrupted Xanthippe.
‘The central computer will organise everything. This...’ Peteru held up the tiny metallic sphere, ‘is only a prototype able to handle about a thousand enseemats. When the system’s up and running, it’ll be replaced by a powerful computer able to handle millions of commands simultaneously. I apologise for not being clearer, so I’ll explain again. Before going anywhere, the traveller stands on an enseemat, and then selects a destination by speaking a number into this little sphere. You saw each Freemen whisper. They were telling it which enseemat they wanted to go to, which is why they all ended up on the correct mats—females in front of women, males in front of men. Then when the wrist implant is pressed, a signal is sent to both the enseemat he is standing on, and the destination. The range at the moment is probably about twenty kilometres.’ Peteru smiled expecting a snort of disbelief, but there was no reaction.
‘What about the clothes they leave behind?’
‘The next person can toss them aside. I’m sure that after their first transportation, no one will want to wear clothes any more, so that problem will disappear.’
‘What happens if there’s someone else on his way there or already arriving?’
‘Once a destination has been selected, that enseemat broadcasts a blocking signal preventing the computer from sending further passengers until it is empty. So it is essential, and polite, for the traveller to step off immediately on arrival.’
‘But suppose everyone wants to go to the same place, for example the Arena?’
‘We will embed an enseemat into every seat, then either program the Arena to accept all arrivals and simply drop them in the next available seat—first in first served, or there can be pre-booking of specific seats so friends can arrange to sit together. With this system individuals could be banned or restricted to some areas. The permutations are unlimited. And as the process is virtually instantaneous it would eliminate queuing when entering or leaving.’
‘I calculated,’ Uretep added quietly, still somewhat in awe of his imminent promotion to Mage, ‘that we could fill the entire Arena in less than five minutes, and clear it as fast.’
‘And how would they get home?’
‘That’s as simple as leaving. Let’s call this the ‘home’ mat,’ Uretep said, pointing to the one in front of Ishbel. There will be one in every apartment. I’ll leave ‘home’ and go to the gymnasium, for example.’ He whispered into the computer that Peteru held for him, stood on the mat, pressed his wrist and almost before his clothes had hit the floor, arrived on another mat in the circle. ‘Now, Peteru also wants to go to the gym, so he does the same, but I stay on the mat.
Peteru followed the procedure exactly, but nothing happened until Uretep stepped off. Instantly, Peteru, also naked, hairless and sporting a proud erection, was transported to stand beside Uretep.
‘To return to the last visited mat, press the wrist sensor once. To return to your home enseemat from wherever you have gone,’ Uretep explained, ‘press the wrist sensor four times quickly.’
Peteru held up his hand so everyone could see, touched his wrist four times and reappeared in front of Ishbel.
‘That’s easy enough to remember,’ Fabien grudgingly conceded, ‘But if you want to go to a new mat, you have to tell the computer thing?’
‘Exactly.’
‘OK. Now demonstrate the charger.’
Peteru took the black ovoid from the pocket of his robe on the carpet in front of Ishbel and with a cheeky grin held it beside his erection. The charger was slightly larger. Still grinning, he sat, lifted his legs so everyone had a clear view, then effortlessly slid the object far enough into his rectum to enable the sphincter to close tight. Then, standing on the ‘home’ mat, he touched his wrist and reappeared beside Uretep. After walking relaxedly back to the carpet in front of Ishbel, he again sat with his legs apart and demonstrated how easily the charger could be ejected.
With a grin he offered it to Ishbel who called his bluff by calmly taking it, holding it gingerly to her nose, and declaring it perfectly clean. Peteru then snapped it open, placed the gold collar around his own neck, and handed the document to Ishbel, acknowledging the total lack of applause with a self-deprecating bow.
Uretep had meanwhile fetched a soft waterproof bag containing a gold ring and a heavy gold bracelet, which he put in his mouth. After transporting himself to the home mat he removed the bag from his mouth and presented the contents to Ishbel.
She laughed in delight and attempted to slip the bracelet onto his erection. It was a tight fit over the firm ridge of his glans, and despite her tugging and squeezing would slide no further along the shaft. Laughing wildly, she turned the young man so everyone could admire the perfectly proportioned, muscular, dark brown body—naked perfection enhanced by the subtle glitter of gold encircling his monument to manhood.
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