CHAPTER 13

“Sure, this will probably end up being another in a long line of emotionally crippling misadventures...but let's try to have some fun along the way.”

- Brian K. Vaughan

I remember the first time that I logged into TantaMount, looking at that first mountain and wanting nothing to do with it. Then the more I played the game, the more rose-tinted my glasses became and I saw it as something very achievable; for when I so deemed fit, at least. Even conquering the first was a major achievement in the community at the time, but I was loving the stress free life of sandbox style do what I want, when I want, and figure that out when I get there.

Obviously, the stakes have been upped significantly. Ahnald “GET TO DA CHOPPA” levels of importance.

So, the first mountain, Altran.

I'd been through the temple that leads up to it a few times before so I was familiar with it, but only by myself as a one man escapade. Not that I necessarily thought the idiots I'd have with me would help in any way, shape, or form, but at least more party members lends a certain strength in itself.

Primo Temple had never been fully cleared by anyone before, and no one was entirely sure why. It wasn't that difficult of a temple to get through, and everyone had seemingly explored every part of the map and every shortcut, hideaway, or trigger to lead to something new.

So, I entered it with a few idiot noobs and one fresh zombie trying to unlock the secrets no one had been able to unearth before, since in my mind conquering all the dungeons completely and gaining the maximum attributes might be the only shot we had in overcoming the crazies. Real life was a different beast entirely, but the game aspect I could handle. In theory.

Solid (not solid at all) crew heading into the temple:

Leo – Bobby Firmino, Level 100 (which should be the max for any game), Paladin

Donovan – Blank, Level 15, Rogue and general degenerate

Felix – Ender, Level 15, Priest and general teddy bear

Sarai – Sarai, Level 1, crazy dead zombie ninja

Renna – Sabriel, Level 15, Warrior that is confident borderline cocky (definitely cocky)

My cup of confidence doth not overfloweth. Donovan and Felix had managed to corral some decent chocobo-esque creatures and Sarai and Renna somehow both had low level dragons, which I'm sure would eventually lead to a “Queen of the Dragons” dispute, but we'll burn that bridge when we get there.

I think part of the reason the dungeon had never been cleared was that the design was just straight up weird.

It's got that old school Zelda 1 screen hopping nonsense built in, but also has a time system built into it (?) So when you enter the dungeon it gives you a 24 hour countdown clock which you can spend in it before it kicks you out, and you can never get a piece from it that you've gotten before if you go and do it again.

So once you're in, you're in, and you no matter how many times you run it you can never get any reward twice. So every rerun that you do you'd better be getting something new.

Fast forward to me and my idiot crew.

Dono: “Cool I'll just get everything the first time around. What's the problem?”

Not for the first or one billionth time I breathed deep before responding: “No one has actually managed to completely clear the dungeon before, and the whales (big spenders on the game) have been trying for years”.

Dono looked like he was briefly contemplating the everything of that statement, and hit back with a response that honestly caught me off guard a bit:

“Tell me what I need to do”.

Well shit, if Dono is speaking in rational terms you know something real is going down.

Ender (Felix) the priest chimed in, asking if there were any rez (resurrection) restrictions, and we both laughed and high fived him for it. Or at least I did.

These weren't even Dungeons and Dragons rules but I always appreciate when rule based questions make sense. And then I hugged Felix because he's the calmest bear ever and gives the best hugs in existence.

Back to Dono, I briefed: “As a rogue, we need you to basically clear any room we get into, and help us find shit that's hidden”.

At least that's the way I always understood it. I played TantaMount since release but I always played it solo. I occasionally ran with groups here and there since I did a lot of the side stuff that could help them out but (even though it's probably weird for a massive multiplayer online game), I kind of just liked the idea that people like me were there in the universe doing their thing, but I was doing my thing. TL;DR always loved the world but made it more personal for what I took from it.

Sarai came back (apparently she'd bounced without me noticing) with something in her pouch, looking a bit sheepish.

“This was all I could find on my first sweep. Hope it helps.”

Pulled it up in inventory and it was one of the five pieces I was missing from the dungeon, so HELL YEAH ALLL MY LIFE I PRAYED FOR SOMEONE LIKE YOU”

But I played it cool, and said “Awesome, nice work. Four more to go.” No need to go all K-Ci and JoJo yet.

Two pieces of soul left, one rhythm, and one melody. And a whole, whole lot of grinding.

On to the next stage.