Hello, would you like to be my friend?

The screen said to me, invitingly. She certainly looked cute enough, in a pixelated way, and off the top of my head I couldn't find a reason to select NO instead of YES.

Would I come to regret the decision? No.

Would it change my normal, boring life? Absolutely.

But did I know how it would change my life, top to bottom, with no reset button? No, I did not...

CHAPTER 1

“All I ever wanted was to pick apart the day and put the pieces back together my way”

- Aesop Rock -

PEW PEW blared my morning alarm at 6:53 AM, a time that I couldn't explain to you if I tried, but just works. Throw off the blankets, right foot first, strip it down for shower time. Dry off, down the stairs, throw a couple eggs on the stove and tossed over some bread for its transition to beautiful toast. Check the mirror, check the phone, move on.

How is my virtual life doing while my real life stagnates? Yep, and yep. All good, five by five. Say what up to my cat Teppei before heading out the door.

Morning routine in a nutshell, I am nothing if not a creature of habit. And, chances are, I'll always be that guy. Or at least, I thought that I would.

Destination: College. Onwards, Buttercup, my trusty steed (bicycle). But first, of course have to check the groupchat for the latest:

DQ: I heard Leo is hot to trot for this crazy chick that dresses like a ninja

FD: Story gets better, I heard she's a chick from a game that he thinks he saw in real life

Day has just started and I'm already the hot topic of conversation.

Oh, right, I'm Leo, by the way. Lionel if you'd like to get fancy with it. Those idiots are Donovan and Felix, my two best friends, and they always think they know best. Which normally they do, but this is a bit of a special case.

I swear I'm not crazy, hear me out on this one.

Last night I totally saw this hot chick from a game in real life.

Hah, you're funny, Leo. Classic Leo. Slow down, mate. But no, I swear this is what happened.

Event of record took place yesterday. I sidelined Buttercup since she struggles in the rain, so I walked over to the local comic book shop Stormlight Archive to pick up the hard copy Scott Pilgrim comics I'd been saving up for.

Headphones in, moving to my own beat, the last thing I expected was for a beautiful ninja chick to come crashing into me.

Cliche much?

But crash she did, and the rest is immediate history.

She was five foot nothing, half-asian looking and intense, with an I-kid-you-not two katanas strapped to her back, on a futuristic looking motorcycle. Should I have seen her coming? Probably. Should I have seen that coming? Maybe not.

Long story short, she plowed through a red light, I was grounded, she came over to make sure that I was alright, and I'm pretty sure if I wasn't already breathless I might have passed out entirely.

“What were you doing there?”, she asked, like that was a normal question while looking down at the person you almost just wiped off of the face of the Earth.

“Chillin'”, I confidently replied, while cringing both at my situation and response.

She offered me her hand while still looking concerned, but I felt like it was more for my general state than the situation itself.

“I'm Sarai. Sorry about that. It won't happen again.”

Well I would certainly hope not, crazy ninja chick. But I still had to redeem the cool factor.

“Hakuna matata”, I replied magnanimously.

Better in my head, I reminded myself a thousand times afterwards, but I swear she did offer up a small smile in return. Small smile, hair flip, motorcycle hop, and then whoosh, back off to the great beyond.

Snap back to reality.

Dono (Donovan Quentin, or DQ), is on my way to school so we usually meet up and cause minor chaos as we go. Felix has some home stuff going on, so we catch him at school. We're three amigos that are all really tight, we'd probably call ourself something like “The Tri-Force” if we didn't think it would make us a target. As is we just do our thing.

Dono turned to me and before he said anything I knew what was coming:

“How's your fake ninja chick, bro?”

I love DQ but that doesn't mean I don't want to occasionally throw a left hook to his face.

“Sweet as, brochacho”.

A weak left, maybe. My comebacks are always cooler in my head but this one was enough to at least slightly stifle his grin. But he knew it, and I knew it.

No one believed me.

The night before the whole attempted murder played out I was innocently playing this MMO when all of a sudden this girl pops up in my screen, yelling some Obi-Wan stuff like I'm her last hope and I'm the only one that can save her. Then she straight ghosted, and the game went back to normal. Then back to the attempted murder. It was the same girl. THE. SAME. GIRL. A million question marks forced into my head, all answered with exclamation marks of the same result.

“Shove it, Dono”, I said with more confidence than I really had at the time.

But it seemed to work, and he left me alone until school started, when Felix met up with us for Chemistry.

“How's your ninja chick Leo?”, he asked.

Right, back to it then.

“As existent as your real life girlfriend, Felix”

That shut him up for a bit, but he'll never stay quiet for long, and it's one of the things I love about Felix. A decent girl is going to find him one day, and what a prize he'll be. But I digress.

Why can't I stop thinking about her.

I'm not normally like this with girls, but every thought seems to wander her way. What's her deal? And why is she popping up in my life?

Got through the normal day and went to grab drinks and do some trivia with our friend Renna, who of course immediately piled on the fantasy bandwagon.

“So Leo I hear you had to make up a new DnD girl to date since there's been a vacancy at your hotel for awhile.”

SHOTS FIRED.

“How's your latest Abercrombie not pleasing you?”

REBUTTLED.

“This round is on me. I'm gonna ask the bartender if she knows how to make a “ninja biker chick””, said Dono, and wandered off.

I glanced briefly at Felix and Renna, and wondered not for the first time how they'd fare as a couple.

Being the last person anyone should ever ask, I sipped my beverage and quickly contemplated my life, the universe, and everything. Then made a snap judgment.

“I'm gonna find this girl, no matter what”, I said quietly, although ears perked up at the notion.

Renna donned her devil's grin and threw it my way suggestively, “And what makes you think she would like that, bro?”

“He read Snow Crash recently, so the idea of a biker chick has him all hot and bothered” Felix said, like the traitorous scum that he is. Is he wrong? No comment.

Dono came back with four questionable looking purple drinks, but he at least knows the bartender so nothing shady down the hatch.

Renna had that look where I felt like she was examining my soul, I was pretty sure I knew why but wasn't sure where it was headed. My guesses were way off base, as she launched into a new realm entirely:

“So Leo, what makes you like or not like a girl?”

Dangerous waters that we swim in, indeed.

“Cute and nerdy”, I replied, “you fulfill one of those categories but I'm not at liberty to disclose which”.

Solid punch to the arm as riposte, as expected, but a smile nonetheless. Chalk that one up for a minor victory.

BUT THEN.

Out of absolutely nowhere a motorcycle crashed through the side wall, with almost Kool-Aid man levels of absurdity. He ripped off his helmet, looked directly at me, and said, “How are we going to save Sarai when no one else will?”