“Auden… Why, why do people die?” I heard my voice shake with hesitation.

My breath was lifted into the air as I realized I probably wouldn’t receive an answer.

“Time is a tricky thing dear boy.” I perked up my ears as I allowed Auden’s voice to enter through me, engulfing my entire being. It’s warmth heating my body as If I was being wrapped in a loving embrace.

“Time keeps moving, even when we plead for it to stop. And with time, comes Life.

Life is like a ribbon, sailing behind the graceful threads of Time and eventually, as it passes, it brings great joy.” I furrowed my brow biting my lip trying to understand Auden’s words.

“But all good moments and joyous times must pass, for Time never stops.” He continued,

“What many people focus on is Time’s Grand design. It’s vibrant colors pulling us all together keeping us moving into a pattern and threaded within that pattern, is Life. But eventually some of those threads end and Life leaves us. This is what we call Death…” I tasted blood and realized I was biting harder than I had thought.

“I cannot tell you why people die, or when people die. It is something not even Time knows. I’m sorry dear boy.”

I sat in silence thinking apon Auden's words. Then another question popped into my mind.

“What about my mother? Why is she the way she is?”

Another moment of silence passed before Auden spoke again.

“Your mother is… afraid.”

Another moment passed and I inched closer to the tree waiting patiently for him to continue….

Unfortunately, there was nothing else added.

“Auden?” I sighed and gave into my pained hearts request to say what was truly on my mind.

“ I miss my dad…”

I didn’t fall asleep again that night. Instead I walked home and crawled into bed avoiding my mothers ghostly presence laying on our couch. So many emotions swelled inside my chest but I couldn’t shake the feeling of my dream. The realness, the fear, the horror.

Did dad really die? Was it all my fault? Why is everything about that night so hazy? I wish I could just wake up and pretend this was all just a dream.

I hurt myself thinking too hard, my chest ached and I broke into sobs.

My life is such a mess.

“I don’t understand!” I screamed into my pillow.

My mind went blank and I just focused on my pain. Hours passed and eventually the sun rose into the sky. I heard my mother come upstairs but I was far too tired to hide and avoid her presence.

“Timmy, You’re home?”

She came in and sat next to me petting my hair.

“I love you dear.” She said in a calming way. It was different from her usual scratchy tone. It almost sounded sincere.

Her words meant nothing to me though. Everything revolving around her meant absolutely nothing to me.

I hate her.

With silence filling my room my mother left. The feeling of pity rose throughout the room, one resembling the kind the man in blue left at our old home.

Eventually around noon I was brought out of my numbness when an immense feeling of starvation washed over me. I walked into our kitchen and draped my hand over a red delicious. Its ripeness called to me.

Without washing it, I bit into the sweetness. Another few moments passed and four other apples had fulfilled my small appetite. Yet, I still had the immense feeling of emptiness inside. An endless pit that nothing in this world or any heartfelt emotion could fill.

“Timothy!” Recognizing the voice I stepped outside. The sun attacked my eyes and a headache grew from nothing.

Oliver attacked me with a heartwarming hug then said he was gonna meet me by the Willow tree tonight.

“I’d rather watch fireworks with you then smoke cigs and shoot them off with the boys.” He said breaking away.

I half smiled and agreed to meet with him. Grabbing a sweatshirt for tonight I checked the clock and left.

1 pm.

Oliver said ‘5’ but I had nothing else to do. In fact I’m sure without Oliver I would just kill myself.

Not like there’s anyone to grieve… But Oliver, for him I have to live.

Taking no time at all I passed the grand open field. I passed the small graveyard and walked into the forest. Stepping up to Auden, I heard a few early pops in the distant from Koman. I passed out once or twice again and eventually lost track of time. The sun was hard to see due to the extreme thickness of the forest, but I guessed 8.

“Where’s Oliver?” I asked looking up to Auden.

“I’m afraid he’s with those boys… Fame and fortune is what he is blinded by.”

Suddenly I heard an enraging explosions from the edge of the forest.

“I guess I’ll enjoy them from a distance.” I said sighing.

“You may leave boy if you’d like.” Auden’s leaves trickled lightly giving off a light aroma.

I shook my head rejecting his offer. “No thanks… Last time I did that I was in the emergency room. There was too much smoke… this month is actually really hard for me… I’m surprised I’m even outside.” My eyes followed a trail of smoke floating up into the sky.

Auden didn’t say anything else after that.

“I think the show’s begun.” My eyes were glued to the darkening sky waiting for the sparkling colors to fill my view.

The seemingly demonic pops pounded into my chest rattling my adrenaline. The fireworks sizzled like static and their bright colors were clearly seen even from where I sat.

Another sound wave danced in my chest then another. I foolishly let a laugh slip from my lips and I could feel myself smile.

I loved fireworks.

Another bang filled the woods.

Dylan’s voice could be heard screaming at Anthony. “Get those! I want more! Where are the big ones?”

The inconsistent pounding continued throughout the night.

I closed my eyes and laughed after every bang. The way it shook my body was exhilarating and I couldn’t help but enjoy the adrenaline rush. Heat poured into my body. It was so warm. The smell of gunpowder and smoke filled my nostrils. It was as if I was in an action movie.

But the smell became unpleasant and the warmth turned into scorching heat. I opened my eyes and took in an unhealthy amount of smoke.

My world was on fire.

The once crackling sound of static was now the popping of wood. The flames engulfed the forest around me.

I picked myself up and screamed out for help but the raging waves of fires devoured my voice and vanquished any hope I had. The smoke took on a ghastly shape hovering in the air like a thick fog. I pressed my back against the Willow tree and kept screaming.

“Help! Someone Help Me!” Tears streamed from my eyes and my voice kept breaking as I screamed.

“Auden! Mom! Dad! Oliver! Somebody!” As I screamed I inhaled the black smoke and fell to the ground gagging on the sulfuric air. My lungs squeezed with excruciating pain and my eyes burned.

Every muscle in my body went spastic and within the next second my body began to shut down. My skin felt like it was melting and all my senses went numb… The world around me was black and solitary. I felt nothing but the heat and unbearable weight of abandonment…

It’s precious, It’s precious Timothy.