“Capricorn! Why is this thing going so slow!? The enemy is catching up!”

“Sorry Boss Lady. As much as this used to be hailed as the king of World War 1 Tanks, it’s still slow as f**k.”

In the world that dried up into a living desert sea, where mobile fortresses carry the scrap of humanity that survive one fall out after another, there was a tank that was speeding through the desert.

It was a half-rusted Renault FT Light Tank. It was once recognized as the ‘modernized tank’ shortly after the end of the First World War. With thicker armor, a revolutionary rotating gun turret and an engine that had more kick the than popular British Mark 5 tank, it took the historical world by storm from 1917 – 1949. It had been the top of the line – note, had been. Right now, it was being pursued by a [email protected] tank with more advanced technology. Model Variations, go figure.

“Uwooooh! C-Capricorn! I’m serious, go faster! Th-this tank’s firing range is shorter than the enemy’s line of sight! I-I think they’re aiming for our @ss!”

“Can you send them a signal in morse that we girls don’t like to take it there.”

“………….. If they shoot at us, I will – swear to god – use your body as a shield.”

“A 37 mm shell isn’t going to protect your chastity, Boss Lady.”

The Renault FT was designed as a Light Tank. Its very purpose was speed and finesse, to be able to weave through tight terrains like an abandoned city ruin. It was also carrying enough armor for a balance of protection from enemy gun fire. With the revolving turret, it could swivel its head around into a full 180 and say ‘F**K YOU’ while shooting backwards. At the time after World War 1, this design was very nifty.

However, their enemy was born during the height of World War 2. This was an era where Sopwith Camel Biplanes turned into P-51 Mustangs and U-Boats converted into nuclear submarines with intercontinental ballistic missile launchers. The level of technology from one great war to the next saw major leaps.

Especially in the field of armored vehicles – aka, Tanks.

“Bank a left! It’s going to shoot at us!”

“If we move left, it’ll hit us with an anti-tank rocket. If we move right, it’ll start punching us with its anti-personal machine guns! No pressure, but you need to think this clearly.”

“JUST F**KING TURN!”

The Renault FT made a daring swerve to the left… then the right… the left again, no, the right. Essentially, it was going this way and that, making a Sine Wave in the sand. It couldn't decide which was was safer.

The science was much like choosing between two girlfriends someone was dating.

The reason why they felt so much under pressure was the meodel of their enemy tank, piloted by a highwayman. It was a M5 Stuart Light Tank, built by the United States Army Ordinance Department and supplied to the British Commonwealth Forces during the Second World War.

An iron mass weighing about 15.19 tons, with a size of 5 m in length, 2.3 meter in width, and 2.5 meters in height, it was armed with a hi-powered 37 mm M6 Cannon and three .30 Caliber Anti-Personal Browning M19 machine guns. The machine guns themselves carry about 6,750 rounds or armor-piercing bullets. The engine was also installed with a top of the line Twin Cadillac Series 42 220 hp, anyone who are sport car freaks would know what this number means.

The Renault had a max speed of 7 km/h (4.3 mph). The M5 Stuart had a max velocity of 58 km/h (36 mph). 7 km/h versus 58 km/h… This wasn’t exactly a story about the turtle and the hare. The ending in this situation is totally different.

“… Doesn’t it ever take a nap.”

“Capricorn, just shut the h*ll up.”

The little Renault FT Light Tank ended up taking a turn to the left. It avoided the M5 Stuart’s 37 mm cannon, but had to take on the Browning M19 anti-personal machine guns. Holes popped open across the side of the little half-rusted tank.

“NYAAH! I-IT BITE ME!”

“… In the @ss?”

“You’re practically naked in this tank, so how come you not scratched at all!?”

“Hm. Never underestimate the power of a woman revealing her naval in action movies.”

“………………………………………………….. I want to go home.”

The Renault FT Tank took a moment to upright itself from the attack and kept on speeding. Even with a maximum velocity of 7 km / h, it was still able to weave through the tight cracks of a boulder-ridden canyon. It was the only reason why the more agile and swifter M5 Stuart Tank couldn’t pounce on them like a tiger to a duckling.

When the enemy had the speed and engine tech, the moving relic still had flexibility.

“GAAAH! GUUUFFF! GEBOOOOF!”

“Boss Lady. I told you to wear your seat belt or the shifting will making your head hit the walls!”

“SHUT UP! GYAAKKUUU!? (@[email protected])”

A series of nonsensical sounds could be heard every time the Renault FT made a tight turn to the right, or a deep swing to the left. The sound of a skull hitting iron was also present.

“C-Capricorn, do something! We didn’t have the parts to fix the turret, it still can’t shoot yet!”

“Hmm. Bother.”

“Your response isn’t what I was looking for!”

“Hmm… I think I have a plan. First you need to wear your seat belt.”

“Oh god.”

Hearing the dangerous suggestion, one of the two girls who rode in the Renault FT quickly put on the double safety straps over her body. It looked like she was about to eject out of the tank any second now.

“Hup.”

The driver made a small daring noise under her breath, and wheeled about tank with pulling the old fashion levers and gas pedals. It sped up the ancient Renault 4-cylinder, 4.5 liter, thermo-siphon water-cooled Gasoline petrol pump… any fans of customizing cars, please feel free to explain to this poor writer.

To put it in a more simpler perspective, the Renault FT tank turned around to face the enemy. It looked stupid.

“THE H*LL ARE YOU DOING!?”

“LEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY!”

“AT LEAST GIVE ME A WARNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!”

… On that day, a miracle was born. The ancient Renault FT that was covered in so much rust, that it could fall apart at the wrong way a sneeze was made, won the fight in the canyon covered in boulders. How? Very simple.

“YOU F**KING PLAYED CHICKEN WITH AN M5 STUART!?”

“No matter how advanced the enemy may be… it all comes down to sheer guts, and glory.”

“…………………………………………………………….. I really want a bath.”

The Renault FT Tank had raced up straight into the M5 Stuart Light Tank. Despite having more engine, armor, and weapons… the bandit driver chickened out at the last second and turned one degree to hard. He fell over a cliff no one was paying attention to. And that was that.

“…. Wait. We were here to get his bounty.”

“………………………………………………………………………………. Ah.”

That night, it was the naked driver’s turn to make a weird sound.