《EMBARGO》8: Why

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Gaia gets further away from them until the blue planet is only but a blotch in the distance. Yuuta assumed it would have taken them longer to get this far, but he supposes the station is too big to be compared to the gravitational pull of satellites he once worked on during his first years of training. He wonders if whatever it was that was after them has been driven away by the sudden motions, and tremors, that continue to attack the station’s floors, and walls. And then, Yuuta asks himself if he did the right thing after all, because Xander is staring at him, as if he were a ghost—as if Yuuta is but a fictional piece of his imagination.

Xander’s lips are parted; they shake, and yet, Xander does not know what to say.

Yuuta waits for a moment, giving him every opportunity he might need to speak.

But Xander doesn’t.

“Xander?” Yuuta asks, waving a hand before his friend’s frozen features. “Are you okay?”

“You jumped,” Xander says, his voice a breath away from becoming a whisper. “You pushed her. You jumped,” he echoes.

Yuuta nods. “I did.” However, what comes next is a reaction he does not expect, especially not from Xander—his ever so calm, always-analyzing-everything-Xander.

Xander grabs his shoulders and shakes him. “Are you insane?” he shouts, his voice dry, raw. “Yuuta, you’re going to die here! Why would you do this to yourself? Why would you— I…” Xander’s inhale is sharp, shaken, as his head hangs low. Yuuta notices the goosebumps rising on Xander’s arms. “I volunteered so you wouldn’t have to,” he mutters, his grip loosening around Yuuta’s skin that had gone red from the pressure.

“You think I was going to let you die alone?” Yuuta blurts, surprised by how much his own voice has also grown unstable. He shoves his fists into the fabric of Xander’s suit, that covers his chest, and tugs him close, until Xander finally accepts to look at him again. “You really think I’m the kind of person that lets his best friend die alone in the middle of fucking nowhere?” Yuuta shouts, shaking him in turn. “Like hell I was going to do that, you asshole!”

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There is a roar from afar as the ship creaks again.

Yuuta’s fingers unravel from Xander’s collar. He traps his lower lip between his teeth before averting his gaze. “We should go,” he says.

Xander nods. “Yeah.” His voice is breathy and low. “Do you still have your map?”

Yuuta frowns. “Don’t you?”

“Just checking.”

“Okay…”

Another roar, and the sound of claws being dragged along metal—the station’s walls—resonates throughout the lobby. “Sleeping quarters sound like a good plan to you?” Xander asks him. “We can make an inventory of what we have left and look into drafting a plan once we’re there.”

“Y-yeah,” Yuuta mutters. “Honestly, anywhere is good as long as it’s not the main control room...”

To this, Xander cannot help but snicker a little. “Agreed,” he says.

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