《The Gift》Depression
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The night of Flight’s death would not stop repeating inside of Ratio’s mind. He could still vividly picture Leech standing on top of Flight. With blood all over Leech’s mouth and hands. There was also the blood coming from Flight giant gaping hole in his chest. Raito kept trying to make sense of what Leech had said to him.
“I couldn’t have done it without your help. Your help was my payment.”
“I loved Flight! I would have never helpt you kill him!”
Raito had never felt such pain that caused him to lose all motivation. He had zero energy to continue his webcomic, to draw, to eat, and to use his Gift. Several days had gone by and he was dreading for the news to eventually talk about Flight’s death. After all, he did leave the body out in the open. It was only a matter of time before someone reported the body to the police. Memories of that night refused to leave his mind.
“Never say never,” Leech said, “look at your hands.”
As Raito looked at his hands, he screamed in agony. Blood splatter was on his hands. Not nearly the same amount of blood as Leech had. But enough to prove Leech wasn’t lying. “Why…Why!? I would never betray him! I loved him!”
“You keep on saying that word, love, like it means you couldn’t have hurt him. Well, I loved Flight too. More than anyone.” Leech said as he glared at Raito.
“Then why, why would you do this!? Raito questioned.
“Love is complicated and has many different meanings behind it. I thought Flight loved me but the moment he found out what I did. He betrayed me and left! Now he knows what I felt.” Leech paused as he pointed to Raito, “with your help.”
“Stop saying that. Stop it!!” Raito cried.
It was clear to Raito’s mom that something was wrong. Raito had never acted so lost and uninterested in doing anything. It didn’t help that his father was still overseas, so she had to deal with the situation without some support. What hurt the most for her was Raito’s refusal to open his door for her or even acknowledge her presence. Raito, the cheerful young man that wished to be a hero was now an empty shell.
12:00 pm
Raito woke up, changed his clothes, and sat in front of his computer. Surfed the internet for any news on Flight and watched meaningless internet videos.
1:30 pm
Raito went downstairs and made himself lunch. He never woke up earlier enough to eat breakfast anymore. After eating, he would go right back up into his room and continued to watch videos.
4:00 pm
Raito attempted to draw but his mind was completely blank. He would stare at the blank piece of paper for several minutes. When he did eventually draw, it was always the same thing. Flight smiling at him. After which he would tear the picture up and lay on the floor, motionless.
6:00 pm
Raito went back downstairs to make dinner. Still ignoring his mom, he sat quietly as he ate. While eating, he only watched the news to see if Flight’s body had been discovered. It hadn’t.
7:00 pm
Raito attempted to read his comics but could never get past the first page. He would constantly re-read the same speech bubble over and over again. After every sentence he read, he would forget everything that was said before it. It was as if his brain couldn’t retain more than one line of text. But he was in such a trance that he never realized it happening.
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9:00 pm
After spending two hours trying to read. He crawled back into his bed and stared at the ceiling until he naturally fell asleep. His dreams only haunted him more.
His body was paralyzed with fear. He tried to run towards Flight. He tried to punch Leech. He tried to just move his legs. But all he could do was cry and trembled before Leech. Even with tears in his eyes, he could see Leech’s smile. His teeth were sharp like a demons’ and his grin was huge as it stretched from ear to ear. His laughter only got louder and louder.
“I’ve seen that type of fear before. You want to do something but your body refuses to answer to you. I’ll give you a hand for doing an amazing job.” Leech chuckled. He then snapped his fingers and Raito’s body began to move. He looked around to see how it was possible. To his horror, his own shadow has taken over his body. As his shadow walked close to his car, his body did so as well. He got in the car and started the engine. A black portal appeared before him and he drove straight into it. On the other side of the portal was his home.
“I have to go back. I have to go back! I can’t just leave his body there. Especially with him!” He cried and yelled. But he couldn’t no matter how badly he wanted to. His body only moved because Leech made him. There was no way he could drive back there in his current state. Even if he did, there was nothing he could do. Leech was clearly far more powerful than him.
It took some time before he was finally able to get out of his car and into bed…
12:00 pm
Raito wakes up and repeats the cycle…
This cycle of depression went on for two weeks before the waiting began to take a toll on Raito. He couldn’t understand why it was taking so long for Flight’s death to make its way onto the news. He started to even second guess himself that any of it even happened.
Around 1 O’clock, Raito’s phone started to go off. This was unusual since no one had called or texted him in such a long time. He reached for his phone and noticed that it was an unknown number. He decided to ignore the call and go back to laying down on his bed. The unknown number would not stop calling him; no matter how many times he ignored it. With nothing else to do, he decided to answer the call eventually.
“Wave. It’s Soul.”
Just hearing Soul’s voice made Raito’s skin crawl with anxiety. He started to think to himself “how does Soul know my number, why is he calling, and does he know about Flight?”
“Ye-Yes?” Were the only words Raito could stutter out.
“I’m sure you’re wondering how I know your number. It’s from our first meeting, remember? I read your soul. I’m sure you’re wondering why I called. It’s about Flight. I know he’s de--- he passed away. I had to get all the arrangements ready for his funeral. I’m sorry I took so long to call you.” Soul’s voice sounded odd. His tone was neutral. It was as if he wasn’t angry or sad by Flight’s death.
“But...no network has talked about it. And how did you know he...passed away?
“He’s a Gift. In most cases, a Gifts death won’t ever make it on the news. Timekeeper isn’t the only one with connections. Once his death was reported, it was quickly thrown under the rug so only people that needed to know would know the details.”
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It made sense to Raito but something didn’t feel right, “How did you know I knew about Flight’s death?” He asked.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
“Because he was looking for you. It happened on that night on Morph’s play, right?”
Raito thought to himself, “I guess it’s possible Flight told him about his plans for me meeting Morph. It only made sense to let him know since she is in his Alliance. I think I’m just being paranoid.”
“Can you tell me what happened?” Tears rolled down Raito’s cheeks. He couldn’t talk to anyone about what happened that night. Having to hold in his feelings was killing him on the inside. He needed to know what happened. He needed to know why he would help kill Flight. He just had to know. “It’s my fault he’s dead… What did I do? Please read my soul and tell me what happened. Why did I kill Flight!?”
“What do you mean you killed Flight and why can’t you remember?”
“I don’t know.” At this point Raito couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. All these weeks of being depressed were him holding in his grief. Talking to Soul finally relieved some of the pain he had been feeling on the inside. “I was talking to Flight. I felt fine and-and-and then I passed out for-for like a minute. Next thing I-I-I knew Flight was on the f-fl-floor and this guy was standing on top of him. His name was-”
“Leech?”
“Y-Ye-Yes.” Raito tried to calm himself down to stop his stuttering. “How did you know?”
“I was afraid that this would eventually happen.”
“Can you tell me what I did?”
“You can’t remember anything?”
“No….”
“Is your memory blank? Like it’s completely blacked out between the time you were with Flight and him dying.”
“Yes!”
“Then I can’t help you. The soul can only remember things that you know happened, even if it’s a forgotten memory. Blacked out memories can’t be engraved into your soul since you don’t know what happened. I’m sorry. But I’m sure it’s not your fault okay. We’re having a memorial service for Flight. I can’t have you come since it will involve people from the Alliance. I can’t have their identities be revealed to you. I’m looking for a way to have you at least be near somehow. You can use your Gift as a way to listen to the service or something. I’ll call again with more details later. Again, I’m sorry.
“O...kay.”
Raito ended the call and dropped his phone on the floor. He made sure his door was closed and walked over to his bookshelf full of manga and comics. And with one burst of energy, knocked it over onto the floor. He picked up his computer chair and slammed it on the floor several times before it broke. Tears of sadness turned into tears of anger. How dare Soul not inform him sooner about Flight!? And Raito deserved to be at Flight’s funeral. So what if he’s not in Soul’s Alliance, he had a right to see Flight be put to rest.
In his fit of rage, Raito took apart his bed, and thrown his mattress around the room. Punched the door to his room till his knuckles bled. Knocked his computer onto the floor. Kicked his desk so many times that he’s sure he might have fractured a few toes. But he didn’t care. He grabbed his TV that was on top of one of his dressers and chucked it at the wall, shattering the screen. He knocked down the rest of his furniture onto the floor and continued his rampage till everything in his room was either on the floor or torn to pieces.
Eventually he ran out of breath and collapsed onto the floor. “Fuck this, FUCK FUCK FUCK! Why, WHY CAN’T I STOP CRYING!?” He cried.
Raito had lost complete control over his emotions. He couldn’t feel the pain in his body as blood dripped down his hands. His arms and face were full of tiny scratches from destroying everything in his room. He couldn’t even feel his toes throbbing from pain from kicking everything. His body was completely numb, from the crying, and the anger that ran throughout his body. He was no longer an empty shell. Only a broken one. His mom saw the whole thing.
She quickly ran to his room once she heard a loud thumping noise and was worried something had happened to Raito. She watched in horror as Raito destroyed everything in his room. She too cried as she felt powerless in helping her own son, especially since she doesn’t know why he was acting this way. Once Raito flopped down onto the floor, Raito’s mother fell to her knees.
It took a few minutes before Raito realized his mom was crying by the doorway and sat up to face her. His eyes were still glossy and red. His hearing was fuzzy and was barely able to make out that his mom was trying to talk to him. She was in such a frantic state that she reverted to speaking in Japanese while trying to communicate too him. She was speaking so fast and crying that he couldn’t even understand a single word.
This only made Raito feel more useless and a failure. He couldn’t understand his own mom who was clearly worried about him. This only angered himself more and more. “My mom is trying so hard to talk to me and my stupid self can’t understand anything. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid me. Why can’t anything go right!” Raito thought to himself. All he wanted, at this moment, was for him to understand his mom; even if it’s only for a minute.
“Please, Raito, talk to me! I can’t bear to see you like this anymore. I don’t know what to do!” She cried out.
Raito’s eyes widen as he heard those words. He understood what his mom had just said, but it wasn’t in Japanese. It was in English but different. She was speaking in perfect English, with no accent either.
“Your father isn’t here and it’s just you and me. Did I do something wrong? Hunny, please let me in.” She continued.
It took a minute for Raito to realize that she wasn’t speaking in English. His mom was still speaking in Japanese. His wish was granted thanks to his Gift. His Gift was translating every word his mom was saying in real-time.
Using his Gift to translate his speech he said, “Mom...Flight is dead and I don’t know what to do.”
Raito finally spoke to his mom after two weeks of silence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Soul slowly hanged up his phone and took in a deep breath as he turned around to face Leech. With a large grin on his face, Leech said, “Good thing I was here to help you out of that difficult question. You almost blew your cover on how you knew he was there.”
“I can’t believe you dragged an innocent kid into this. And that you actually killed Flight,” Soul said as he rubbed his eyes with his right hand.
“He had it coming and don’t act like you’re a good guy. You’re torturing Flight’s little pet project just as much as me. That bullshit lie about being blacked out prevents his soul from bla bla bla. We both know that’s not how it works.”
“Well I can’t go telling him the truth! That will-” Soul took a quick pause to compose himself before finishing his sentence.
Leech, laughing hysterically, looked over at Soul while tilting his head to the side. Mimicking a cheshire cat. “Say it, say that it will reveal our relationship. We both know it’s true. And we both know how I made Wave help me. Face facts. You might distance yourself from me. But you’re just as cold-blooded as Timekeeper.”
“Don’t you dare compare that man to me!” Soul shouted as he rushed over to Leech.
“Why not? It’s true. You just have a different way of doing business than him.”
“I HELP PEOPLE!” Soul argued back.
“And I kill the ones that can’t be helped. Good can’t exist without evil.” Leech did a quick snicker as he scanned Soul with his eyes from head to toe. “You know it’s true. Look at yourself. You’re shouting and clearly upset but your posture says otherwise. Your face is in a neutral state, you’re not clutching a fist, your body is completely relaxed which contradicts your tone. A Gift that is afraid to give in to his emotions is a useless one.”
“You know damn well why I can’t let my emotions get the better of me.”
“Oh, boohoo. You can’t get angry or else you lose control over your Gift. Instead of hiding your potential. Own your Gift!” Leech yelled while getting closer into Soul’s face.
“That’s easier said than done! Your Gift is easy to control. I have to control the Gift of Soul. One of the five originals. You don’t think I wish I could control it but I can’t! If I let myself get even the tiniest bit angry. I can go on a rampage and kill hundreds of innocent lives!”
Leech raised his arms and waved them around in the air in a mocking tone as he repeated what Soul had said. “I cAn gO oN a RamPaGe. ThInK oF tHe PeOpLe. I’m Soul! Hah! I’m done with you. Call me when you need someone dead. Because you’re too much of a wimp to do it yourself.”
Leech snapped his fingers to create a black hole for his departure. Soul had one last thing to say before Leech left.
“How did it feel? To kill someone you loved since childhood?”
Leech didn’t answer nor turned his head. He only paused before eventually leaving.
He reappeared inside of Timekeeper’s office. He wasn’t alone and a man was sitting on a couch near Timekeeper’s desk. He was wearing what looked like a dark orange ninja outfit.
“It took you long enough to come back. I’m guessing you needed time to mourn the loss of Flight after killing him.” TimeKeeper said. He then slowly looked up to Leech with a calm look in his eyes. “It must have been hard but it needed to be done.”
Leech simply chuckled as he snapped his fingers. A clear barrier surrounded them. The man on the couch appeared to longer be wearing his ninja outfit but a business suit instead.
Leech slowly walked towards Timekeeper’s desk and leaned over so his face was inches away from Timekeepers. “Let’s get one thing straight. You ever put me in a position to do something like this again. It will take a lot more than you, the Gift of Death, and the Gift of Energy to stop me from painting the walls with your blood.” Leech turned his head towards the man on the couch then back to Timekeeper. He then grabbed Timekeeper by the throat and laughed softly under his breath. “I’m the strongest fucking Gift here. Not even the living zombie can kill me. I might do things for you. But I don’t work for you or Soul. I do what I want to do. Never forget that.” He released Timekeeper from his grasp and snapped his fingers twice. One for the barrier to go away and another to create a black hole for him to leave in.
As the barrier went away, the man on the couch was once again wearing his ninja outfit. The man on the couch then proceeded to talk once Leech had left. “We might have accidentally created a monster that no Gift can stop.”
“Relax, Leech is strong but he’s only second to Fear. Leech is nothing but empty threats and is easy to manipulate. Fear, on the other hand, is on a completely different level. I hate having to ask that man for anything. Leech is close to a mental break down with Flight gone. He just needs another push to turn into a hollow shell that I can control. Just like when he was a child.”
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