"Where did she go?" I ask the doctors "well.... Um...." The doctor says rubbing the back of his neck.

"Wait are you saying!!! she passed!!!" Sam yells as tears stream down my face.

I put my hand over my mouth to stop myself from screaming.

"NO NO NO!!" The doctor says "well. Where. Is. She?" I ask between sobs.

"Um..... Well just follow me" the doctor gestures us to follow.

We follow him to a room, which looks like the kemo room.

"Does she have a type of cancer?" Sam asks "because I don't think we can do that again, to hard" Sams adds putting his hands on my shoulders.

"No, not cancer but this morning when the nurse checked on her, her lips were purple. The most common for baby's is a hole in the heart, we've seen it before so we know what to do. But you have a choices we you can do the surgery, this week, when she's 1 or when she's 12" he says

Sam and I look at eachother, I think we are thinking the same thing "1" we say at the same time.

"Good choice so she has developed everything" Dr. Shawn says (I thought I would give him a name) "will she last that long?" I ask concerned.

"Of course, the only thing that will happen is she will be a little sick some days. And he lips will be a little purple" Dr.Shawn says.

We walk over to the tube where they are running tests, she's back to pink color not purple.

She's in a glass examining tube, just like the one I went into for kemo.

She has white gloves on and a blindfold, I can't see my daughter live like this!!!

I bolt out of the room and down to the cafeteria.. Tears rolling down my cheeks, my eyes start to hurt.

I text Trevor:

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Me: hey teddy

Teddy🙊: hey beauty

Me: I miss you.... Samantha has a hole in her heart :( hard day for mommy.

Teddy🙊: aww mommy... When she getting surgery?

Me: When she's 1

Teddy🙊: good she gets to spend time with mommy and daddy.

Me: I guess it was hard for me to get my open heart surgery when I was 1 and a half, but I'm ok I guess.

Teddy🙊: yah well baby I will let you spend time with Sam and Sam 😘 love you.

Me: love you too😍❤️😘🙏

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(Just letting you guys know, Sam knows Trevor and you are still VERY close!)

I walk back into the room and Sam and Sam aren't there.

"Excuse me Dr.Shawn where is Sam and Samantha?" I ask touching his shoulder.

He turns around "oh they went to Samantha's new room um? number '278" "ok thank you" I say, I start walking to the room.

I walk in and see Sam and Samantha cuddled up in bed. I take a picture and post it on twitter saying "Daddy and baby quality time, happy mommy".

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😍❤️😘🙏

Love you my 🎀Magers🎀