《Human Resources》Eleven
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Joe huffed and puffed for almost two blocks carrying Lawrence before he needed a rest. The past year of inactivity and boozing had really taken its toll. He found a spot off the beaten path under a tree and propped Lawrence against it. He sat down nearby, stretching his legs and rubbing his sore arms in the cool evening air.
Lawrence looked like he was going to be all right. Haggard and bruised, the man could take a serious beating for sure. His breathing was regular and he looked relaxed. Hopefully he would come to by the time they reached the Human Resources building.
In the tranquility of the evening, the office compound was actually quite beautiful. The remote skyscrapers silhouetted like an elegant sculpture against the heavenly canvas of night sky. At the moment there were no vehicles, just clean air.
Joe was about to light up a cigarette when he heard voices in the distance. Shrinking into the shadows, he crouched and listened.
“I mean, just what does he expect us to find out here? It’s not like perps grow on trees and we can just shake some down.”
“And what does he want with one of us guards and a janitor, anyway?”
Two security personnel, one tall and one short appeared under the light about 100 meters away. Joe didn’t recognize either of them; they were wearing different uniforms. New sectors, he thought. And they’re searching for us.
He turned to face Lawrence. He was awake and staring at Joe, jaw open. Joe put a finger to his lips for silence and made his way over to behind the tree. The men were getting closer.
“Welcome back, Lawrence.” Joe put a hand on his shoulder. “I have an idea. First, I’ll need a boost.” He nodded up into the branches. Lawrence nodded, dropped into a catcher’s crouch and offered his hands as a launch pad. Joe hopped up and made a seat in the boughs. He whispered softly down to the bewildered janitor. “Now, when they get near I want you to get their attention. Lure them back to where you’re standing now. Got it? Exactly where you are now!”
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Lawrence nodded and kept an eye on the road. The guards were almost twenty meters away now.
“Go! Go! Go!” Lawrence hesitated, looked up at Joe and whimpered.
“Go! Now!” Lawrence nearly tripped over his feet, but took off jogging towards the road.
“Hey! You! Security! Over here!” The guards stopped and glanced around. Lawrence emerged from the shadows, hopping from one foot to the other and waving both arms. “Uh…Hoodie hoo? Over here!”
“Isn’t that—“ the short one’s jaw dropped.
“Yep,” the tall one cut in. “Simon Lawrence! This is Sector Chief Richard Miller!”
“And Constable Jorge X. Variables!” the other chimed in. You are under arrest! Stay where you are!” Both men unholstered their tranquilizer guns. Lawrence flipped them the bird and ran back into the shadows. The bewildered guards gave chase.
Darts whistled past Lawrence’s ears as he dashed through the foliage. When he reached the tree he stopped and raised his hands.
“Don’t shoot!” he huffed exasperatedly. “I give up, just don’t shoot!” He waved his arms to show he was unarmed and walked a few paces behind the trunk. The short guard flicked on his flashlight and shone it directly into Lawrence’s eyes. He stumbled back and landed on his rear. The two guards grinned at each other.
“It’s Miller time,” Variables winked up at his coworker. “Cuff this joker!”
A whistle broke their confidence.
“Coming through!” The guards looked up just in time to see Joe dropping down from above.
“Shit!” they cried in unison. Joe’s feet connected with their faces as he stretched into a butterfly kick. Both went down for count. Joe landed with a thud on his behind and swore.
“That move looked far less painful in the movies,” he groaned. Joe got to his feet and went over to the supine guards and took their handcuffs, methodically linking their hands together behind their backs. He prodded their bodies with a foot. They weren’t going anywhere soon. He looked up at Lawrence who was trembling.
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“Thanks for the assist, man. You all right?”
“What did we just do?”
Joe sighed and picked up the guards’ guns from the ground. He tossed one to Lawrence who caught it with shaking hands. “We just disabled two men who were going to arrest us. You were unconscious when I heard them coming. We had to improvise.”
“I was having the worst dream,” Lawrence shivered, the sound of a novelty antique timepiece ticking in his head.
“Save it for later. We’ve got to get to HR pronto. Get something on record. They’ll at least hear us out. You don’t know any journalists by any chance, do you? We need a backup plan.”
Lawrence shook his head. “No. How are we going to get there? Surely they’ve got swarms of guards looking for us!”
Joe laughed a rich hearty laugh. “You’ve got to be joking me, right? Don’t you know how things are done here?” Lawrence shook his head again. “Budget cuts, my friend. If they had the manpower, they’d have gotten us already. Our only problems right now are,” Joe ripped the ID badge off the tall guard, “access. And then there’s their commanding officer.” Joe studied the badge. Miller was from Sector H. That put him on Tanzer’s watch. Joe sighed.
“Captain Tanzer dispatched these men. We’ll have to find some way to distract him. Keep him busy.” Joe eyed the unconscious guards. He could probably get away with wearing Miller’s uniform, but Variables was a good head shorter than Lawrence was. Joe’s own uniform would be a dead give away. Joe scratched his chin thoughtfully.
Somewhere in the distance a night bird sang. The autumn wind shook the leaves from the trees. Lawrence sat and rubbed his aching neck. After a few minutes, the thought hit Joe. “Lawrence, how do you feel about being my prisoner?”
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