I wish I could answer him but all I did was to look deeply in his eyes and lower them, embarrassed by my inability.

His face was a mixture of multiple feelings like compassion, delusion and worry. I had learned to decipher them after seeing so many people behave the same, but reading faces is something that mostly helps me survive in this cruel world.

I took a post it note and began to write.

'I'm sorry if I'm not as you expected me to be'

He hesitated for a moment and stuttered.

"W-what are you saying? You don't have to be sor-ry..." his voice was strong enough to sound convincing but full of delusion.

He kept observing me, although almost invisible there was a slight disappointed look on his face.

We kept silent for a while, during which I was imploding and trying to not squeal.

Maybe I had forgotten that he was feeling uncomfortable.

"Let's go somewhere more private" he said and got up from his seat, walking out with me trying to catch up.

Is he that disappointed? I'm sorry Hoseok... I know you don't like me at all... I'm sorry

We took a taxi as soon as we got out.

During the journey to wherever we were going, he didn't speak at all, it was a little awkward but I was still fangirling really hard inside.

Often when I'd look in his direction I'd see him already staring which would make me blush right away. At first from a hostile look in his eyes he would change it to a sad one and just smile it off, not a bright and energetic smile rather a responsible and understanding one.

He acted as if I wasn't his fan and that stare wasn't lethal for me, little did he knew I could've died right there right then.

"We're here" he informed me when the taxi stopped behind a hotel.

It was really huge and one night there probably costed a lot.

There were a lot of fans outside sitting down on the floor and waiting to see them.

After a few more awkward minutes he held my hand and led me secretly to the lift and we got off at the sixth floor.

He motioned me to go in his room and locked the door.

I sat on the couch feeling a little uncomfortable while he sat before me, on his bed.

I felt as if my inability was a barrier to him or maybe he just wasn't used to it.

He sat there looking into air and trying to fight back the obvious deluded look on his face now.

Hobi...I'm sorry...

He then lied down, still feeling tired from yesterday's concert and frankly me too.

Silence was becoming really heavy so I decided to write something.

'Do you know sign language?'

He shook his head.

"But teach me. I want to know you more" he said casually but I was dying hearing those words.

I was reminded of something in that moment.

We were sitting alone in that room. In his room. Only us. Hoseok and me.

Pulling myself together, without getting too excited I taught him how to gesture a few things.

"Ugh I need time to memorize more" he laid on his back again.

"I've got an idea!" he grinned sheepishly getting right back up. "Let's watch a movie!"

I made a face as to say 'which?'

"Which genre you like the most?"

he asked taking a laptop.

I made a humming sound and wrote down 'horror'.

Hobi jumped up in a karate position "Fight me I'm not watching it" which made me laugh pretty hard and I nodded to say 'yes we are'.

He tried to resist but I took another post it note 'come on it's still morning. Besides if anything attacks you I'll protect you don't worry' and made a derp face after he finished reading.

For a moment he wanted to reply back but gave in without a sound.

Then he walked over to the couch and sat near me with a smile.

It was so fake.

"Which one?" Hoseok asked turning.

He didn't seem to care but our faces were a few centimetres apart.

His eyes were so dark and that small mole on his lips ugh...

Quickly getting back to my senses I typed 'Ouija' onto the search bar.

"Jiji I might not remember that you're a girl and might hug you so tight that you'll suffocate, I warn you" he said when I pressed play.

I just shook my head finding it awfully cute.

The awkwardness hadn't disappeared yet. I guess he needed time to adjust?

I didn't notice him putting his arm around me but when I did he loosened his grip on my shoulder, looking at the other side trying to hide his face.

Jessie. Stop thinking that he doesn't like you. He's just not used to being around mutes that's all.

At scary scenes he'd literally either hide his face with his hands or would just randomly scream until I calmed him down.

Also, he kept clinging onto me the whole time, not that I minded it. Just... he should, like he said before, consider that I'm a girl...

"I'm never watching this again" he complained after the movie finished.

I chuckled slightly.

Hobi was totally different in person.

I had a hard time believing he actually existed.

Just in that moment someone knocked at the door. I remembered Hoseok locking it so he ran to see who it was, then he quickly opened it.

"Hyung what were you-" Jimin stopped after seeing me. "Oouh".

He threw a pillow at him "mind your eyes Jimin".

I felt blood rising to cheeks under his stare and my face felt hot, really hot.

"Huh but she's so cute... what's your name?" he asked getting nearer with a cheesy look.

"Don't flirt with her." Hobi answered "She's Jessie".

"Hyung I didn't ask you" Jimin contorted. "Why are you here?"

Before Hobi could answer I nudged him with my elbow so he'd look up from the laptop and signed him to stay shut.

I took a note again

'My name is Jessie, nice to meet you and J-hope brought me here. I don't even know why to be honest'

Jimin gave me a questioning look after reading it.

"Why are you writing it?" he asked again.

"She can't speak you idiot" Hoseok snapped.

"Oh I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He apologised. I made a gesture to say that it was okay. "But hyung don't get so jealous"

I just ignored the jealous part because pfft Hobi? Jealous? Nahh.

"So are you our fan?"

'Of course' I wrote down.

"What do you like about us?" he kept questioning and I didn't mind at all.

But he looked so good with messy hair and no makeup, no wonder he's so popular.

Somehow I ended up staring for too long and Hobi interrupted the interview.

"Jimin you can leave now"

"Hyung I remind you we need to leave in two hours so you better get prepared." I was being so happy but those words hit some reality into me.

Of course he needed to leave.

He was an idol.

Right.

"Yea now get lost" he hissed.

"Byii" Jimin did as Hobi said after winking at me.

Jimin was just too cute, I swear, even when he wanted to be sexy.

Hoseok had become all silent and awkward again, he could just be his usual self but it seemed like something was an obstacle.

Clearly I knew what it was.

Trying to fight the sadness I picked my phone and sent him a message.

Me: ure going back to Korea?

H0bi: yea :c

H0bi: but im gonna put u into my luggage and bring u with me

H0bi: no objection

H0bi: ure so smol ull fit dw

Me: yea haha

I didn't want him to go back... I knew it was impossible to do anything.

Maybe he wanted to leave as soon as possible...

Although I hated crying, in that moment I couldn't help it when all kind of negative thoughts invaded my mind. Yet surprisingly I managed to hold them back.

"Jiji" he said with no particular intonation.

I hummed in response.

"Ugh nothing" he said before grabbing some of his things and getting ready to leave.