AN: Damn, I just found a song from 2011, and I can't stop shaking my head...my fingers are itching to move, and what better way to use this energy, than to corrupt all of the minds that read this?

It's one of those times when I just burst out laughing for no reason at all. Let's hope I stop soon...

Ah, whom I kidding? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGAGAGGAGGAGGAGAAGAGGAGAHSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Who says you can only be completely insane? I'm going 110% on this, and I'll burst these limits. For life! For liberty! And Insanity!

Or whatever it is I am...

Imeds' POV

For clothes given to a dead body, I have to admit they were pretty 'fleek' as young'uns these days would say. Water-proof, durable as hell, and pretty damn comfortable, I had to wonder why no one robbed it off my body. I pulled open my equip tab, and checked out the shirt/pants/shoe combo. Apparently they were a set.

(

Tier II

Level Requirement: 60

Woven from Mithril thread, Black Steel wire, and magic, this cloth is durable, magic-resistant, and immensely comfortable, made not for combat, but for casual wear.

Because of your low level, you receive 0% of the clothing's' effects. Offers 0 protection and deteriorates at 600% speed.)

Well...I might as well just wear nothing, huh? Except, since I'm literally a negative Tier, nothing I wear will help me in any way. Might as well wear this, since it's comfortable.

Still, I have to wonder. Who makes casual clothing that has a level restriction? Obviously someone clever, duh. You don't want plebs wearing your threads, so there's a need to set some boundaries.

Besides the Raiment, I also had the and the . The ring didn't have any requirements, except for a finger. Since the cloak had a strength requirement of 1 I barely fit the bill, but I'm glad I at least got that. It gave me 1 defense. Whoopee.

I stopped admiring the depth of the gemstone set into my ring, and looked up as my two new friends woke up. They didn't know it yet, but we were about to become best pals.

"Hey kids, wanna make some dead bodies?"

---

">"

The horned-rabbit briefly flashed a dark purple, and began to move at three-fourths its' previous speed. For the two goblins, before, the rabbits had been too swift to catch, and everything else was too formidible. Now, Pokey-ahem, Unnamed, was able to catch up to the rabbits and stab them several times in the face.

We made a good team.

As I had 2 intelligence, because of > and the ring, I regenerated 2 mana per minute. In seven-and-a-half minutes, I was full. Then I could cast > again, and Pok-Unnamed could stab another one. After we'd massacred all nearby furry creatures, P-Unnamed and the one I'd dubbed 'Sleepy' ate the rabbits. I would've suggested they cook it, but I honestly didn't know how to start a fire without flint and steel, or better a burner, or even better, magic.

A good thing to note, other monsters just didn't want to eat me. In fact, a triple-horned horse trotted right up to me, and let me pet it. Ghost chased it off, but I just think he's jealous. But, Pokey wasn't-ah, dammit. Unnamed wasn't the only one who killed stuff.

Ghost was having a blast crushing various woodland creatures, and kicking anything that moved. I think that Pokey and Ghost must've-ah, whatever. Those two must've agreed on a competition of some sort, as they both seemed determined to rid the forest of all creatures fuzzy, while I would just sit there petting a cute armadillo that snuggled up against me. Animals really seem to love me.

That, or they're sympathetic that all things even vaguely resembling human hated me.

Often, we'd meet goblins who tried to kill Pokey and Sleepy on sight. Ghost would use the technique-Crushing body weight-and everything would be fine, except for the green goo stuck in his hooves. I smoothed the fur of an adorable horned rabbit, and shivered a little.

Why is it that everything except for me wants to kill everything in sight? Is there some sort of memo that I missed? Is it just me, or is every creature besides me obsessed with murder?

For two weeks, I passed the time peacefully enjoying what nature didn't get stabbed, crushed, or eaten. Then things went wrong, as they often do.

---

I was passing time while my mana regenerated, massaging a bird, as I often did. Birds were the only thing Pokey wasn't interested in eating, as they didn't have enough meat on them. All of my other furry friends were only pleasant memories now.

I looked up for no reason, expecting the usual sight of two green-skinned gobbys and one gigantic horse, but instead I only saw Ghost.

As I inspected my surroundings that were a little farther away, I saw my two green friends being carried away in nets.

Naturally, I followed. Curiosity killed the cat, and I killed the guy who hurt the cat, so there was nothing to fear now.

After three miles of trekking through the forest, with Ghost following a fair distance behind, since even though he's stealthy for a horse, he's still a horse, I reached the goblins' camp.

It was set near a stream, with animal skins used in place of canvas. Clumsy tents were grouped around shallow pits, and from what I counted, there were only about thirty goblins. None of them were young, either. They were all warriors. A pit to the side was filled with smaller green bodies that seemed several weeks old. Yet, the bodies hadn't been buried, and maggots were teeming around them.

I watched while my two recently acquired comrades were shut up in wooden cages, and all of the goblins split up to gather wood. It seems they're making a bonfire. Fun.

Hey, I worked...well, okay, I just sorta got those two as friends, and I'm too lazy too find new ones. You'll just have to do something else...but, here I am, as powerful as a twig. How can I save them?

I let myself begin to ponder plans, then left to see about something.

---

A fire began, and then was stoked, and fed, and prodded, until it had become a blazing inferno. Green-skinned hunchbacks danced wildly around the fire, raising their calls to the heavens, along with the smoke. Several carried over the wooden cages, and opened the one containing the tattoo-clad goblin. It was prodded at spear-point to a position upwind of the fire, where all could see. A goblin took a stone dagger, and raised it high. Cheers and yells greeted this.

Two goblins held the smaller tattooed one down, as the dagger was brought close to the tiny goblins chest-

Named Monster > has arrived.

The roaring of the fire fled to the background, and all eyes turned to behold the massive shadow creeping from the trees. Red eyes glinted from eight feet up, and a voice echoed out.

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you."

The goblin holding the dagger trembled so much it dropped the knife, and several barely resisted the urge to flee in terror. The shadowy figure continued,

"Rather than sacrificing to a god that isn't listening, how about you listen to me? I have need of some minions for a task, and you happen to be in my path...come, if you wish to live."

Then it turned, and left. Several goblins stared in fear long after the monster had disappeared, then discussion began. Many options were laid out, and several plans were put out.

In the end...goblins are practical. It's why they've survived for so long. Between an unknown, far-away being that may or may not exist, and the very-near, very-real and known threat that definitely existed, it was obvious what they'd choose. They followed after the figure, ignoring the two they'd held prisoner not-long ago. After picking itself up, the tattooed goblin freed its' sibling, and they held a quick discussion.

Escape? Into the unknown?

Or...

Follow this strange monster known as >?