So Zach was dead.

It wasn’t even a good death. It wasn’t even a cliche death. He wasn’t hit by a truck, or die of some incurable illness. He didn’t die of old age or from saving someone else. No, Zach died by getting beaned in the head with a baseball.

Now Zach finds himself in a room. The walls are blank, and there’s only one door. Zach looks down and finds his entire body is still with him, but the others in the room are formless blobs. Every few seconds one of the blobs moves forwards and a soft light appears for an instant.

It takes him a second, but Zach finally realizes. I’m in a fucking queue. He thinks. My first experience in the afterlife and it’s waiting in a line? I mean I guess I don’t have anywhere to go but really? Shouldn’t there be some all-powerful god? Couldn’t he process everything at once? Am I in fucking purgatory?

As Zach ponders, the queue moves forward. Mindlessly, Zach follows the line. His thoughts lead him from one place to another. Was Catholicism right? Is this Purgatory? These questions and more bounce around in his head, but Zach runs out of questions and looks up. He’s hardly moved at all. Zach sighs, waiting was never his strong suit. Impatient, he places a hand on the blob in front of him. “Hey buddy do you mind if I go in front of ya?” He asks.

An alarm blares as his hand touches the blob.

“Jesus!” He exclaims.

Out of the light fly winged men and women, each carrying a spear. Zach stares dumbfounded, his mind once again rushes through questions. Are these angels? What are they doing?

The angels surround Zach, each pointing a spear at his heart. One gestures her spear at his hand, still resting on the blob. It takes a moment, but Zach finally understands. He takes his hand off the blob and tries to calm the situation. “I don’t want any trouble!” He yells out. “I was just getting impatient!”

In response, one of the angels opens its mouth and sings. It was the most beautiful voice Zach had ever heard. It was the most amazing choir combined with a perfect orchestra. And then it seamlessly switched to a hard rock ballad. The music swelled inside Zach. He cried, it was too much. He couldn’t take it, it was too much. It felt like constant sexual release. It felt like pure joy. He couldn’t take it. Finally, something in Zach snapped.

Part of his mind, the one that always asked questions, remembered reading somewhere that the brain represses traumatic events. Your brain thinks that remembering the experience will kill you so it doesn’t. But that was for traumatic experiences. This was every good and happy thing in the world, all shoved into Zach’s head. He couldn’t take it, so something snapped. His body seized and collapsed on the ground, his limbs jerking in time to the ethereal song. Some part of Zach watched as the things that weren’t angels moved closer, their spears ready to pierce his heart. Then a hole opened in the world and he fell.

That part of Zach still watching saw the creatures’ faces twist and contort into something unspeakable. Then the hole closed and he heard a voice.

“I’m sorry,” It said. “It’ll only get worse before it gets better.”

Zach tried to ask what it meant, but his words were empty. Words came out, but they were smells. Zach spoke smells, saw sound, felt the taste of the portal on his skin. Everything was a mess. Zach knew he wasn’t thinking right, some part of him knew that at least. The rest of him babbled and blew soap bubbles. That part of him broken by the song tried to piece itself together. It tried to make sense of everything that happened. His mind became a mosaic and then shattered to dust. Zach screamed.

Time passed, and Zach landed on something rough and soft. It was impossible, but impossible didn’t matter at this point. He laid there for a long time, or only seconds. Time no longer held meaning. Something walked towards Zach, or maybe it rolled. This creature was unspeakable, unseeable, un… uneverything. It was nothing, and it calmed Zach.

The being spoke, Zach smelled the words. They were vague notions and hyperspecific realities. Zach tried to respond and sent the taste of corned beef. The being picked him up, or maybe just kicked him along, and brought Zach to the edge of its world. It pulled something out of that edge. In each hand, or maybe glove, the being brought Zach and the something together in one quick motion.

Zach expected to crash into the thing. Instead, he melted into it. The being seemed satisfied and then tossed him off the edge. At first, Zach didn’t react, then something started to happen. It felt like small pinpricks, and then electric shocks. The thing and Zach convulsed together. The shocks became pinpricks again, this time digging in deeper. Zach screamed, the thing screamed. The pinpricks stopped.

The thing and Zach sighed together, then a terrible snap rang out. Something had broken, an arm? A leg? He couldn’t tell. Zach didn’t feel it at first, and then it rushed in all at once. A terrible pain. He screamed and so did the thing. Another snap and they screamed again. Four more snaps, existence was pain. The thing vomited, and Zach saw broken parts of him come out. Weakly, he tried reaching for them, but the pieces of himself and the thing blew away on some nonexistent wind.

The pinpricks came back, somehow on top of the snapping. It was the worst itch and the worst pain. They tried to scratch and watched as the skin peeled away. Then the shocks came back and they could scratch no longer. Zach and the thing convulsed again, both screaming as more and more of themselves broke and came together. Soon it was no longer the thing and Zach but just him, or they? He/They didn’t know. They were himself, and existence was pain.

Eventually, it settled. It was a dull ache now. Parts of himself felt like a perfect fit while others felt like old friends. They should feel like something was alien but everything fit like a glove. And then their memories became fire. Zach experienced an empty void, meaningless existence, the absence of all. And he remembered their life from before and those insidious beings. Then Zach remembered their faces and the terrible journey here. Finally, everything came together and he felt whole, but Zach knew something was definitely broken.

The world opened under his feet once more and he fell.

“Yes, fools! Tremble in fear before your mighty god-king! AHAHAHAHAHA” A man shouted. The noise echoed through a large throne room, empty save two beings. One dressed in gaudy black clothes, while the second stood naked at its side. After the echo died down, the second being spoke.

“Master, what will you do now that you have a foothold on Daravia?”

The voice was wheedling, the perfect mix of servile and admiration.

“Why minion, don’t you know? It’s time to get revenge on all those who looked down upon me. I will cast the strongest magics I know and obliterate the entire countryside. This whole land will be nothing but ash! And then when there is nothing left I will rebuild it in my image as the god-king of Stevopia!” The man in black cackled again, and his staff glowed with a pale grey light.

Unbeknownst to the cackling man, the naked humanoid grimaced for a fraction of a second. Soon, the wheedling voice spoke again.

“Master, is that truly your great plan?”

Lightning cracked as the robed man turned. “You have a problem with it?” He boomed.

“No master! Surely not!” The servant responded. “It’s only, the entire time I’ve served you, your focus has been about revenge on Daravia for spurning your magnificent genius. Would it not be better to plan a slower act of revenge? One that would truly make your enemies suffer?”

The evil master stroked his goatee. “Yes, I see what you mean. How would you do this then?”

“Master I would not dare assume my plans are as great as yours, but perhaps kidnapping various noble’s daughters and turning them into terrible monsters?” The servant looked up expectantly.

“Yes… Yes! Of course! That’s brilliant Arnold!” The master exclaimed.

“I live to serve my lord, shall I make preparations?” Arnold replied.

“Yes see to it quick!”

Arnold bowed low and scurried off.

As soon as he left, and was sure the paranoid master was not scrying him, he tapped the air three times in front of him. A screen opened in front, revealing a group of beautiful men and women.

“Esteemed gods and goddesses,” Arnold spoke. “I have successfully turned Steve the Defiler away from total annihilation. Instead, he plans to kidnap various nobles and make them into terrible monsters. I will ensure that these women can be purified of the corruption in some way with the Hero’s power.”

The various deities nodded. “Thank you for the report Arnold, your services are valuable.” Spoke one of the gods.

“This is what I was made for ma’am,” Arnold spoke. “Now, if you’ll excuse I best be off before Steve asks what’s taking so long.”

“Of course,” One replied. “Do stay safe. We would hate to lose you.” And with those words, the screen turned off.

Arnold sighed. Another day of fulfilling his duty as an advisor to the most horrible villains. It had been 8920 years since his creation, and 8237 of those years were spent serving some sort of evil overlord bent on taking over the world. Just once, he’d like to have a smart villain, but that was impossible. The bonding ceremony to make Arnold subservient to the overlord held a small glitch that inhibited the thinking of anyone who bonded with him. It was the same for all his kind. Those contracted with him would find their thoughts turning toward the megalomaniacal. Arnold would then ensure that the villain he contracted to would perform hideous, but reversible acts of villainy.

The idea of it was rather genius, as it ensured any villain looking for power would contract one of his kind, and then become influenced by them. The chosen heroes would then rise up and cure the world, bringing peace to the land. Sure there was petty crime, but nothing along the lines of vast evil countries filled with cruel and uncaring overlords. It was much less violent as well. Revolutions had a habit of killing a lot of innocent people, many more than this method.

It was just tiring to deal with the stupidity day in and day out. Arnold always had to play it carefully. Give enough praise to keep them from killing you and make sure they still think of you as a trusted companion, all while making constant reports to the deities so they can update the heroes. Oh well, at least it was never boring.

Arnold had made his way to the archives and was preparing all the ingredients needed when he felt a strange buzzing behind him. He turned to look and saw a hole of emptiness moving his way. Dumbfounded, Arnold stood there as the strange hole enveloped him. At that point, it closed, and Arnold swore he heard a burp.

“What?” He asked the void. Of course, it gave no answer. Arnold tried to move in some way, but couldn’t feel anything. He couldn’t feel movement, and he realized he couldn’t feel himself.

Arnold started to panic, what just happened? He needed to get out of here. Without him who knows what would happen. His breath quickened and Arnold struggled to find any way to escape.

His panic turned to fear. He was going to die here, a true death. Not that half-death that all Advisors got between serving overlords. He tried to yell, and no voice came out. Or maybe he couldn’t hear it. His senses felt gone.

Arnold didn’t know how much time passed, but he heard a voice. “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to be alone for a while.” It said.

What did that mean? How long was a while? Arnold didn’t know, but he was stuck in his mind. Slowly, he went insane. Advisors were not meant to be alone, their entire existence was built around serving and guiding others. The isolation ate away at him, and he became a jabbering mess.

Then something changed. He was pulled out of the void and was melted into something else. The being who melted Arnold seemed satisfied, and then tossed him off some edge. At first, Arnold didn’t react, then something started to happen. It felt like small pinpricks, and then electric shocks. The thing and he convulsed together. The shocks became pinpricks again, this time digging in deeper. he screamed, the thing screamed. The pinpricks stopped.

The thing and he sighed together, then a terrible snap rang out. Something had broken, an arm? A leg? Arnold couldn’t tell. he didn’t feel it at first, and then it rushed in all at once. A terrible pain. Arnold screamed and so did the thing. Another snap and both screamed again. Four more snaps, existence was pain. The thing vomited, and Arnold saw broken parts of him come out. Weakly, he tried reaching for them, but the pieces of himself and the thing blew away on some nonexistent wind.

The pinpricks came back, somehow on top of the snapping. It was the worst itch and the worst pain. Both tried to scratch and watched as the skin peeled away. Then the shocks came back and they could scratch no longer. Arnold and the thing convulsed again, both screaming as more and more of themselves broke and came together. Soon it was no longer the thing and him but just him, or they? He/They didn’t know. They were myself, and existence was pain.

Eventually, it settled. It was a dull ache now. Parts of himself felt like a perfect fit while others felt like old friends. He should feel like something was alien but everything fit like a glove. And then their memories became fire. Arnold experienced perfect beauty, the purest pleasure. And he remembered their life from before and the perfection of those beings. Then he remembered their faces and the terrible journey here. Finally, everything came together and he felt whole, but Arnold knew something was definitely broken.

The world opened under his feet once more and he fell.

Zach/Arnold fell once more through a hole of nothing. Sound became a sense of balance, the wrong ones creating nausea. Arnold/Zach was more prepared this time, two souls of experience did that. Instead of panicking, he/they took this time to discover himself. Very quickly, Zach/Arnold realized they were two people who became one person. One of him was an office worker in a reality with no magic or active gods, while the other was an advisor in a world of magic and fantasy. Zach/Arnold marveled at how similar parts of their selves were. Zach had been an assistant at an ambitious startup company, and Arnold assisted ambitious men and women in world domination. Both also tried to control their bosses’ hairbrained schemes.

As Zach/Arnold looked at themselves, he/they realized neither could use the other’s name. Zach was a mundane assistant, and if Arnold called himself Zach as well he’d fade away, memories and all. The same would happen to Zach if he called himself Arnold. Their old names couldn’t do. It wouldn’t fit anyways, as both were realizing that he/they was a new person altogether. Their souls had been merged, and Zach/Arnold was now one person.

Zach/Arnold needed a new name. He searched his memories, marking all the commonalities his two older personas had. Eventually, something took shape. Zach had been fond of the color blue, especially the shade that came from oceans and lakes. Arnold had always been quite proud of his blue skin, colored like the open sky. It would be fitting to name himself after that color, and so Zach/Arnold decided to name this new self Azure.

With that decision, the world once again shifted, and Azure landed in the middle of a circle surrounded by seven others.