The first time I saw the Forbidden Tree was on the back of God. He was giving me a piggyback ride when I asked him what the glimmering thing with the tired-looking smile is, and He warned me not to look at the tree for too long so I blew a goodbye kiss to the tree. That was when I realize that I have the gift of absorbing and releasing life energy. I remembered asking God if he has an infinite source of life energy, and when He said that He IS an infinite lifeforce, I made Him fly me all around Heaven so that I could absorb His life energy and releasing it all over the place, practically turning it into a rainbow.

Lilith was a shade of red when I finally got off God’s back and run into her arms. She apologized for the mess I had made, but God seemed fine with it. He even gave me a small ball of concentrated energy to play with while He and Lilith talked about something that Lilith referred to as ‘things-that-would-bore-me’ and 4-year-old me fled like there’s no tomorrow.

I remember walking among the clouds and coming across a roomful of what I later learned was the souls of new babies to be born. I felt bad because they looked like they didn’t have arms or legs so I tossed the ball of concentrated energy into the room, and I’m 99% sure that is why God bless the Virgin Mary with Jesus – so that there is a physical body capable of hosting the ball of concentrated energy I tossed into the room that day. You’re welcome, humans.

Lilith made me apologize to God for forcing Him to change his plans for mankind with my little stunt and I did, only to find out years later that God knew what I was going to do with that ball when He gave it to me. At that moment, I was convinced that my whole reason for being was to play a part in Jesus’ birth, so when God told me, on my 18th birthday, that He wanted to be direct with me about my reason for being, I dropped the cake I was holding.

Turns out, I am the only being, aside from God, who is immune to the allure of the Forbidden Tree.

Before that, I didn’t even know that I was the only one with God’s permission to visit the Forbidden Tree. I had always assumed that it was my sleuth and intelligence that got me past the angels guarding the door to the Forbidden Tree, the seven-meter of gravity fog that literally drags everything down to the scorching lava flowing under it, and the invisible Dragon of Light that snores just loud enough for intruders like me to get past it.

I thought about all the times the angels change their security details, and how I spend days and night carefully crafting new plans to sneak past them. I even got Houdini, Jean of Arc, and every other willing soul to teach me everything they know in secret, just so I could play in the room where the Forbidden Tree was kept. Guilt and embarrassment welled up inside me as I stood there with my jaws dropped open.

“You do realize I know EVERYTHING, don’t you?” God asked me as I struggled to get the words out of my lips.

“You do realize that all I see is a ball of light when I see you, don’t YOU?” I refuted. “I’m never entirely sure that you’re not just a figment of my imagination.”

God laughed. He sounded like harmonizing angels playing the bell.

“See?” I demanded, “Who laughs like that?”

“Manners,” Lilith reminded me and I stuck my tongue out.

Then, I felt a heavy hand patting my head.

“That’s why you’re my favorite,” God explained, “You have faith in me, even though you’re the only one in Heaven who couldn’t see my real form.”

“Go away!” I demanded then push his hand off of my head, “I’m not done being angry with you for letting me make a fool of myself!”

I knew, even then, that I would never have willingly learned all those skills and lessons from Lilith, Houdini, Jean of Arc, and everyone else if I hadn’t thought that I need it to play with the Forbidden Tree. Still, I complained and was acting as annoying as I could until God offered me a personal island of my own design as an apology. That’s also when He decided to give me full control over the nature and style of the gargoyles and the dragon that He would assign to guard the island, Lilith, and me. I think God regretted that decision after he saw the list of attributes I wrote and designed for the island and all the beings there, but he made good on his promise. He did make some adjustments to make the island even more secure, but ultimately, He created the island Peng Lai just the way I like it before He ordered 70 angels to help move the Forbidden Tree to Peng Lai.

No one questioned God’s decision at the time, but I could tell that most of the souls in Heaven and all of the angels are glad to see Lilith and I gone. Houdini was especially enthusiastic about me leaving Heaven and showing the new tricks he invented and taught me in Heaven. He wanted me to perform them to the people back on Earth. Or at least he did until I told him that I do not intend to leave the island, and he just went, “Wait, you finally get to live, for real, and you want to stay on an island?”

“My job is to take care of the Forbidden Tree,” I told him, “I’m not going to leave it all alone on the island.”

Houdini stared in disbelief then said, “You don’t have a sense of adventure, do you?”

I was stunned at the time. I wondered then if the ‘sense of adventure’ is part of the curse from consuming the fruits of the Forbidden Tree, and for a moment, I worried about not being able to experience life to the fullest.

Then the angels fly past with the strapped Forbidden Tree.

I’ve seen the Forbidden Tree before, relaxed under its shades before, climbed on its branches before… but I’ve never seen its roots, and I’ve definitely never seen the Forbidden Tree in its entirety before. That connection between me and the tree, the one that made me jump through hoops just to hang out with it, remained just as strong, but it became so much clearer at that moment.

“My adventure is the tree,” I told Houdini, “You find excitement and passion in your tricks, Joan of Arc finds her sense of purpose in fighting to liberate her country, and Lilith finds her love in motherhood… all that is in my bond to the tree. That is why Grandpop said that the tree is my reason for being.”

“You really should stop calling God ‘grandpop’,” Houdini said and changed the subject. He and the other souls never brought up any more suggestions about what I can try out when I head down to Earth, and Lilith was glad about it. She never wanted me anywhere near the other living humans anyway because she was convinced that only the souls in Heaven are pure enough while everything and everyone else would just tempt me into self-destruction.

Personally, I think it is unfair to judge billions of living humans based on the comparatively few encounters she’s had with them, but I never tell Lilith that because she’s pretty sensitive about her past with them. When I asked her why she hated those living humans on Earth, her reply was simple yet powerful, “I was not a good person when I was with them, and I don’t want their evil, however dormant it is, to brush off on you the way it did with me.”

I never mention the humans on Earth to Lilith again.

That night, I went to lie on the Forbidden Tree’s soft branch. The tree reacted by warming its branch and draping a fluffy leaf over me. It glowed like it knew I was worried about Lilith, and that comforted me without the tree ever uttering a word. I wondered if I do the same to the Forbidden Tree, and if I am able to help it just by existing and being there, but I didn’t get to dwell on that, and I fell asleep on its branch soon after.

I woke up in the middle of the night in Lilith’s arms. The Forbidden Tree had wrapped me in its leaf and drifted me off to Lilith then burnt its own leaf so that Lilith would not be tempted to eat its fruit the way Eve was tempted. With the ashes of the leaves still in my hand, I knew exactly what the Forbidden Tree was saying – I don’t need to know if my existence is important to the Forbidden Tree, not when I already know that I am the most precious one as far as Lilith is concerned. I never needed anyone to worship me or to have more than one person loving me.