“A desire for greater power is proof that we’re alive.

What we won’t do for it is what makes us human.”

I reach the top floor of my palace and take a deep breath of crisp night air. I untie my hair, letting it out in all its glory and stretch like no one is watching. Why not? I own this place after all.

A few of my servants respectfully bow as I make my way to my throne, but only one really matters. He too bows as I recline on my golden frame of majesty.

“Shall it be a man or a woman to serve you tonight?” He asks. His cute face has soft eyebrows, and messy brown hair. His refined, lightly muscular body stands a tad below average height.

I look him in the eyes. I’m quite proud of raising this one. I happened to find him while surveying the damage to one of my cities that was recently destroyed. He was an orphaned child there, crying in the cold, still without a proper name when I decided to take pity on him. Out of a whim I decided to take him in and educate him and even had the opportunity to name him myself. Since then, he has become one of my personal attendants, one of my best at that. I named him Fading Sunglow for what it looks like when he uses his ability to speed up natural healing processes. He always works so passionately and with dedication. I could easily trust him with my life if I had to.

I sigh and wave to dismiss the other servants. “Neither. Unfortunately, I still have a lot that needs to be done, and I’m tired and stressed. The war isn’t going great at the moment, but we can make a comeback just as we’ve done before. Get me something to drink. Something non-alcoholic.”

He bows once more. “As you wish.”

The full moon’s light falls through the empty walls of my throne room. I designed it so that I am at the highest possible point in my city. And naturally you want to be able to see what you have, so it’s held by four pillars on each corner leaving the walls empty. This allows air to freely blow through. In the winter I sometimes regret my decision, but on crisp summer nights like tonight, it’s perfect.

Feeling on edge for no given reason, I walk to the ledge and observe my city.

I frown at the damage. Yesterday, one of my angels discovered that an angel of justice was a spy among our ranks. He was killed eventually, but not before he dealt significant collateral damage. The entire east section is littered with craters that left dozens dead and hundreds more without a home.

My first angel, Yin, is still cleaning up the damage caused. He’s also working to root out any other spies. If it’s possible to do, then he’ll find a way to do it. He was the very first one I made an angel and is the only one I trust to safekeep my true heart. He always is particularly apt at solving problems that are my greatest concern.

A chilly breeze in the otherwise warm summer night drifts through my royal nightgown. I can’t shake the feeling of creeping anxiety crawling through me. I know my sister is going to make her move sometime soon—she always does when we get to this stage. For the past two-hundred years since we both settled into our own empires, we’ve been fighting off and on. The conflicts typically happen in the same fashion. One of us gains momentum and pushes the other back to their capital city. From there, we personally get involved in the fighting and turn things back into a stand-still. The question is whether she herself is going to be in the next fight.

I wearily smile to myself. We’ve only fought four times before. Each time the one defending wins by a slim margin, and the other retreats into their god realm. This time I have many more tricks up my sleeve. Then again, I’ve said that before too.

Sunglow is by my side, handing me a clear glass. “It’s about time for this war to end, don’t you think?” He asks in a quiet voice as he hands me a glass. I casually take a sip. It has a slightly bitter taste to it, but I’m not going to complain.

“I agree. This has gone on far too long, but I’m absolutely not going to be the one to surrender.” I slip back into retrospection as Sunglow lingers behind me. “Too many good people have died; at least for them I need to win.” I sigh. “Far too many good people.”

Each round of war has been more brutal and desperate than the last. At the beginning, we simply traded battles until one of us came out on top. But now, we’re approaching a total war.

If I close my eyes, I can too clearly visualize the faces of so many people with lives ahead of them that didn’t need to die. I created the method of making angels precisely, so I didn’t have to see the people close to me perish. Would it really be too selfish to surrender?

Speaking of making angels, how does my sister get hers to have wings of so many different colors? Black wings are nice, but that’s all I can do. It’s frustrating that she not only copies my techniques but also improves them. Eh, at least it makes identifying friends from foe easier.

I yawn and stretch my arms to the side. The amount of managing I have to do in the day is getting ridiculous. That’s not even mentioning how tiring the process of making an angel is. I did five more today alone.

From the corner of my vision, I spot black wings. Lazily, I turn around to find one of my commanders followed by five other soldier angels. His name is Craving Clay, and he is one of the four top commanders in my army. He is a hard worker with a healthy lust for power. His quarter of the army has the highest win rate of them all. His muscular frame makes his clothes tightly hug his body. Short black hair perches on top his head. He wears lopsided smile—which I know to be his default state. The other five I don’t see often enough to remember.

He and Sunglow exchange glances.

“Hmm, do you have something to report? It must not be urgent. If it were, you would have contacted my telepathy angel… What was his name again?”

He looks troubled, but he quickly changes his expression to the more pleasant one that I’m used to seeing from him. “We have some serious matters to discuss, but it’s fine if we take our time.”

A cool sweat drips down my neck as my vision blurs. Hmm, this is pretty odd behavior from him; usually he is the direct type. “That’s fine if—”

I drop my glass. It shatters on the floor. My heart suddenly feels like it’s filled with nails. I cough violently, collapsing onto the floor. My internal organs feel as if they were hit by a shock wave. I’ve been poisoned enough times before to know this is what I’m experiencing. My healing should rid myself of it in a few minutes, but in the meantime, it hurts.

Keeping my voice controlled even though it's cracking, I turn towards my attendant. “Sunglow, I believe that I’ve been poisoned. Would you mind speeding up my regeneration?”

His face contorts in painful self-confliction as he replies in a monotone voice, “I can’t.”

“You’re right. Dealing with poison isn’t your specialty.” Through my mind-numbing headache, I touch my mental link to my telepathic angel and call out verbally. “I need you to send someone that can neutralize poison to my throne room.” As I shape my energy, the pain increases tenfold. Is the poison affecting my energy? Ugh, this will be annoying.

He doesn’t respond. Damn it, is he asleep? He is supposed to always reply within three seconds completely regardless of circumstance. I’ll have to reprimand him later for this.

Sunglow studders. “I’m really sorry, Goddess, but this war needs to end. I’m just doing all I can.”

My heart feels like it’s being torn to shreds, but I force myself to keep a royal composure regardless. A bead of sweat falls into my eye as I look at Sunglow’s boyish, concerned face. “Don’t worry yourself too much about what you can do or can’t do. We all try to our limit to end this war.”

He looks down, biting his lip hard as if he’s actually the one experiencing pain.

Self-centered laughter resounds from Clay. “You always were way too trusting, weren’t you?”

I painfully shift my gaze towards my angels. They’re smiling for some reason. Clay’s words swim around in my mind, but I fail to find meaning.

There is no point in having good soldiers stand around idly in a crisis, so I command them. “You six—” I lurch as an even more intense wave of pain crashes through me. “You six search around the city. The one who did this might be trying to make an escape.”

None of them move an inch.

Incomprehension floods my mind.

“Oh, we aren’t trying to escape.”

Clay is saying words, but they have no meaning.

I try to stand, but my legs give out from under me. I hate feeling powerless, but I need to remain calm in front of my soldiers. “What—What’s going on? I don’t understand. Why are you just standing there?”

Clay paces forward flanked by my angels. Sunglow stays by my side, with clenched fists and gritted teeth.

Clay spreads his arms as if gloating. “Allow me to let you in on a very certain technique of gaining power. You always did encourage me to gain power however I could, didn’t you? So, you have no one but yourself to blame for all of this.”

Poison claws at my heart with a serrated edge, my night dress is drenched in my own sweat. My senses fade out and back, and my head feels like it’s being crushed by an anvil. But more agonizing than anything else, realization forces itself into my mind.

“This certain technique is the Ultimate method of gaining power you see! More than the trickle of god power that you taunt me with, it allows for gaining all of it! It will allow me to become a god!”

“No…” I can’t accept it. It isn’t true. He’s served me faithfully for over forty years now. He wouldn’t. And besides Sunglow—

“I’m sorry,” Sunglow mutters with eyes closed and shaking uncontrollably.

“The only requirement it needs is the corpse of a deity!” My traitorous commander grins in wild lust. “All I needed was to temporarily ally with the Justice. But don’t worry; I’ll annihilate them like you never could once I have the power.”

Fury. It rages through my body faster than any poison and helps cauterize the wounds left by my shattered trust.

“The reason you can’t contact Telepathic Word is because I killed him! With him dead, you can’t get help, and the city will be uncoordinated in the coming attack.”

My heart wouldn’t feel different if it were melting in the core of a furnace. My limbs have since lost all feeling.

“Your servant boy is so precious in wanting ‘peace’ that he was willing to mix an energy destroying poison into your drink. You won’t even have the capability to do anything as I take your life!” He reaches out a hand to his side and forms a blade out of hardened clay, laughing.

But I refuse to do nothing.

“Goddess... I wish there was another way,” Sunglow cries to himself.

Against all pain, I stand.

Clay stops smiling.

Forcing, with all of my will, I raise my right hand.

Clay’s subordinates falter.

“Stand down or else.”

He tries to reclaim his confidence. “Don’t bluff. That poison is designed to render a god completely helpless! You should be unable to shape your energy!”

I can’t shape it? So, then I won’t.

“You’re right. This is my fault, so at least let me take responsibility!”

I let out my god energy as raw unshaped power.

From my palm, an explosion of deep purple energy vaporizes half of my throne room.

In my heart I feel six deaths through the connection of power I gave for them to become angels. It feels sickening. I’ve never killed one of my own angels. I hate it.

My body collapses face first onto the crumbling floor of my palace, the ridiculous agony of the poison once more increasing. Knives stab my every vein; every breath is hard to take. My consciousness fades out before I tear it back into place.

I turn my head to get one last look at Sunglow. He’s crying. He looks no different than he did that day, so long ago.

I close my eyes, so I don’t have to see his face. He betrayed me. My precious servants betrayed me. How terrible must I have been to lead them to this?

A booming resounds from my palace that is collapsing without half of its supports—the palace I spent so long making. Even louder, though, is the sound of impacts and shouting in my city.

I turn my head towards Corundum and see my living nightmare. Angels with colorful wings descend in a storm of destruction. My defenses struggle desperately against the overwhelming surprise attack.

Without me, they are too scattered to win. My sister knows she can’t beat me in a direct fight, but even this is a new low for her.

I can’t stay. I need to protect my dominion. I must protect my people at any cost.

Using my energy feels like trying to grasp sand in a sandstorm where every grain is the temperature of melting iron. But I can do it at all, which is what matters.

I gather my energy.

Sunglow pleads, but I can’t bear it. “Goddess—”

And I teleport to my central shrine in a blur.

When I teleport to my shrines, I typically try to do so while maintaining maximum possible grace. This time however, no additional flare can save me from the humiliation of faceplanting as I collapse for the third time tonight.

Despite feeling as if I’m constantly dying—heck I might actually be constantly dying—the pain doesn’t seem to be increasing any more. Probably because it has nothing to increase to.

Through my hazy senses, I hear a yell. I agonizingly force my arms to prop me up, so I can see.

Another angel with dark wings rushes towards me. Images of Clay’s traitorous mocking face fill my vision, and I jerk backwards as the angel reaches for me.

“Perenia, are you alright? What happened?” A familiar cool voice asks.

I look up to his face, and it’s Yin. Relief fills me before I can stop it as he calls me by that name he always uses. He can’t be betraying me too, right? I trust him. Then again, I trusted Sunglow and Clay before they tried to murder me. Can I even trust my own judgement?

Doubt clamps onto my reason, squeezing out all logic.

“Perenia, it’s alright. You don’t have to speak if it hurts. We’re under attack by the Justice army, and our telepath is down, but we can hold out.” Yin speaks to me in his honey-smooth voice as he reaches an arm around my waist, helping me stand.

Reaching back for my reason, I realize, of course, Yin didn’t betray me. If he wanted me dead, he already has my true heart.

Coughing up dirt, I speak in a broken voice. “Clay was a traitor. Right now, I’m infected with an energy poison. It isn’t fatal, and I should start recovering in a few minutes.”

His expression darkens. “Clay was always too power hungry for his own good. I should’ve seen this coming.” He raises his voice to shout to my other soldiers. “Everybody to me! We must protect our goddess!”

Faster than our allies, an angel with shimmering yellow and white wings holding a war hammer made of needles crashes through stained glass, heading straight towards me.

Reacting faster, Yin forms a spherical shadow around his hand and parries the hammer before cleaving the midsection of the incoming angel.

“Don’t worry! I’ll protect you for as long as I live, Perenia!” Yin shouts as chaotic fighting begins in every corner of my church.

It finally sinks in—the war is lost. “The majority of our troops are guarding the eastern front several miles away. They can’t get here in time. Without my telepathy angel, there is no way to coordinate our defense… compared to the justice army, which is organized.”

Yin gently lays me down to have both of his hands available to protect me. Immediately after he does, he blocks attacks from two angels at once with his hands, shielding me. “We’ll do what we can. As long as you’re alive, we can still have hope for victory.”

One of my other angels bolts forward, freeing Yin from an attacker.

There are now five of my angels here—Scarlet Faith, Terra Guard, Scattered Wind, Yin and one more I created today and don’t remember her name—defending around me against seemingly countless justice angels. Every one of my angels helping me here is one less guarding the rest of my city though.

I can feel the poison in my veins subsiding little by little as my regeneration fights an uphill battle against something designed to counteract it. My blood vessels still feel like they’re being torn apart by sandpaper. But I can fight. And if I can fight, then my precious country can be saved.

“I’ve lost the ability to shape my energy, but I can fight.” I achingly rise to my feet, preparing to help Yin.

Through the now broken wall, the cityscape before me is hell. Buildings rage on fire; craters line every section of the city. Effects from thousands of ability users flash in chaotic fighting.

Yin glances back at me before rushing to ward off yet another assault. “No, you can’t. I can tell you’re in too much pain.”

I raise my voice. “I can, so I will! If it means giving my life for all I’m protecting, then I’ll die gladly! I won’t let all I’ve built go to waste! I won’t let my follower’s despair!”

My angels shout with vigor as more gather to form a protective circle around me.

Yin looks in pain as he puts his warm hand on my shoulder. “The moment you die will be when all is truly lost. We’re all prepared to give our lives for you, so let us fight in your place. At any cost, you must live!”

Terra Guard gathers more dirt in front of his hulking body, enhancing his giant tower shield. “I feel the same.”

Scarlet Faith weaves her energy and smirks while concentrating. “Let’s pull off another unlikely win together, shall we?”

Scattered Wind says nothing—typical of him.

Them and so many more that I spent so much time with are now around me—willing to die for me.

I stare at Yin with all the resolve I can force myself to look. “I refuse to cower and let my angels die before me!”

He looks at me, not with logic but with love. “I can’t bear to see you throw your life away like that.”

I avert my eyes. “I don’t want to either, but this is something I must do. I simply cannot let my country fall while I do nothing. Your life has been long but not long enough to understand that this is something a god must do when it comes their time.”

Yin looks on the brink of despair. “You’re right. It’s in your nature to help your country. That’s what I loved about you in the first place. Way back when.” His eyes go reflective. “So, forgive me for having to do this.”

He creates a ball of shadow and reaches into it, pulling out a clear crystal flower, my true heart.

I’m in shock, pleading. All grace forgotten. “No, don’t!”

He prepares to give me a command through my heart, which starts glowing.

“As your goddess, I command you to not say it!”

“As the person who loved you, I must.”

“DON’T YOU DARE! YIN, DON’T YOU DARE!”

“I’m sorry. You can find a way; I know you can. We’re all lost without you. As long as you’re alive, I can go protecting our dominion in peace. Live.”

“No—don’t…”

Holding my heart in his hands, he mutters the final words I’ll ever hear from him. He turns away, so I don’t see that he’s crying.

“Perenia, teleport to our safehouse. Don’t leave till it’s safe and you know for sure that you can make your dream come true.”

He turns to look me in the eyes, his own streaming with tears. “‘kay, Perenia?”

From somewhere behind, a spear is thrown, piercing Yin’s stomach.

Forced by my own power, I’m utterly powerless to resist the command.

“I’ll keep your heart safe in your god realm and let __________ give you access once you’re ready to rise again!”

I teleport away to a location forced to me.

I fall to my knees.

The deaths of hundreds of my angels crash over me.

No one can see me now. No one can hear me now.

No one will know I’m here, weeping for everyone I lost, as I scream in agony.

~

My eyes open, clearing the dream from my vision.

I look around to confirm where I am. This is Blowout’s apartment, and it is morning now. I lean back and absorb what I just experienced.

I smile bittersweetly.

“Perenia. I like it.”

Now, that’s nostalgic.

“It’s a nice name, don’t mind if I use it.”

It’s too annoying to care about what people call me, so do as you wish.

“I saw what happened that night 50 years ago.”

She hesitates before responding. What happened back then is done and said; nothing can change that. She takes a deep breath before continuing with forced resolve. There is nothing to gain from pointlessly dwelling on the past. So, we might as well continue into the future.

“Well said.”

I close my eyes and take in the warmth of the new day.

“By the way, what’s a true heart and a god realm?”

She sighs. I didn’t bother explaining since both are lost to me, and I prefer to not dwell on things that are gone. A god realm is a space that most gods can access and is bound to this world through their shrines. I can no longer access it, meaning that it is probably floating around somewhere in between dimensions, lost forever. A true heart is the weak point of a god. If it gets destroyed, the god dies, and whoever holds it has power over them. It was inside my god realm when it became inaccessible, so it’s at least one thing we don’t have to worry about.

“Either way, it opens one possible route to beating the Goddess of Justice without shedding blood, doesn’t it?”

True. I doubt she would be as careless with hers as I was with mine, though.

I stretch, basking in the warmth of the fresh sunlight as I look through the window to see a fog covered city. Today is the day of the academy test. I hop out of bed.

“Alright, let’s do this.”

*

Entering through the grand arches leading to the central shrine in the Corundum church, I readjust my glasses nervously. I’ve gone over everything I’m going to say a thousand times, but I still feel that I should have prepared more. I simply need to report to the Goddess of Justice—that’s all.

At the exact scheduled time, a circle is opened to the goddess’s realm. The one who opened the gateway is none other than Unyielding Righteousness, the first angel. Her flowing blond hair falls past a permanently intimidating gaze that could pierce iron but has empathy laced through in an almost motherly way. I know from stories that she has countless feats of heroism in service of the goddess for over a hundred and fifty years.

She looks me directly in the eye as if evaluating my existence in a split second. She then turns her back to me, saying one word plainly. “Come.”

“Yes.” I comply.

She leads me through a path lined with marble pillars that stretch above what’s visible.

The walk to the central area is short. There are double staircases that form a semi-circle up to a throne, currently empty. On the floor, in between the staircases, is the Goddess of Justice herself leaning against a wall. She has silky-smooth white hair and clear blue eyes. She wears a loose plain white robe on top of perfect skin. Her composure is placid, but with several signs of heavy stress. I’ve seen her several times before, but never met face-to-face.

“Certain Future. Thank you for coming.” She acknowledges my presence before getting directly to the point. “Please confirm everything you know about the recent events relating to the Goddess of Power and the individual connected to her.”

I bow before replying in a voice that hopefully doesn’t betray my nervousness. “I have been observing him closely when possible to gain better insight. And I can swear on my life that my ability detected no lies when he said the Goddess of Power is dead.”

She smiles slightly under her neutral facade. “It’s nice to finally hear some good news.”

I continue, “His story is that the Goddess of Power was doing dangerous experiments, which ended up backfiring. The person in question—his placeholder name is Epsilon—generally acts withdrawn and often talks to himself. And most notably, he still faintly radiates the energy of the Goddess of Power. If you wish, I could interrogate him to see if he was her ally and is being deceptive to avoid charges.”

She absorbs my information then turns to Unyielding Righteousness. “Is that consistent with your findings?”

She nods. “It is. Most notably there are several machines of unknown material and purpose. There are also many scattered notes that are heavily encrypted. We are working on deciphering them now. Also in the room is evidence that someone has been living there until very recently.”

“Thank you and good work. I’m proud to have you both under me.” She commends.

Pride flutters in my chest at the compliment.

“As it stands now, so long as the individual remains as a law-abiding citizen, it is not right to force him to confess his knowledge.” She speaks directly to me. “If any new evidence comes to light, report them to Unyielding Righteousness immediately. But for now, as I’m aware, you have a commitment to helping with the opening of my newest academy today, correct?”

I nod.

“You may leave then.”

“Yes.”