Once outside, she did not go find the kids. She went to the old shower house, and climbed up the ladder. In the shade of its barrel, she pulled her knees up under her chin and began to weep. This awfulness between John Carl and Billy would it ever end? Would it always be like this between them because Daniel was not there to make them behave? He was the bridge between them and now he was gone. Gone. Maggie began to sob so hard her chest ached. She did not hear Uncle Woody climb up the ladder. The next thing she knew, an arm slid around her. She crushed her face against his chest. He smelled of cigarette smoke. In a soft voice he said, “Maggie, you can’t fix this.”

“Somebody needs too.”

Uncle Woody held her away from him and looked her directly in the eyes. “What makes you think that somebody is you?”

“Garnet said, she asked me---”

“She shouldn’t have done that. You can’t make John Carl forgive himself any more than his mama can. You can’t end the fight between John Carl and Billy.”

“But I started it.”

“No Girl, you didn’t. It began the day Billy was born. Those boys are so different, I don’t know if they will ever get along.”

“But, I could---”

“Stop Maggie. For a week you have been taking care of everybody else, trying to help everybody else. You can’t fix this, nobody can. Time will make it easier but the pain of loosing Daniel will never completely go away. Loosing Daniel, didn’t just happen to everybody else. It happened to you too. Don’t you realize that?”

Maggie stared up at him. New tears stung her eyes and dribbled down her cheeks. She didn’t want to feel the loss of Daniel. She wanted it to go away. Her chin quivered.

Uncle Woody pulled her close again. “Girl you got such a good heart, but you can’t give it all away. You got to leave some of it for yourself.”

Maggie’s tears were making a wet spot on Uncle Woody's shirt, her snot too.

“Maybe some day John Carl and Billy will get along, maybe someday, John Carl will get passed his guilt, but those are things they have to do, nobody can do it for them. Not their Mama and certainly not you.” He pulled his handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to her. “Now dry your eyes sweet lady and come inside. Corey Jean will soon be up from her nap unleashing her tongue on the world.”

The cotton handkerchief was soft on Maggie’s wet face. It soaked up her tears quickly, she wished it could soak up the ache inside of her.

*

Maggie waited on the porch step for John Carl to come home. Tomorrow morning, they would be leaving. All afternoon she had prayed God would let her talk to John Carl one more time. As she sat on the porch the sun headed toward the western horizon. A part of her realized he was not coming home, but still she waited. When it grew dark, she went inside.

Billy was a sleep. Garnet was on the couch crocheting. Corey Jean sat at the coffee table absorbed in her coloring book. She colored way outside the lines. Maggie sat down on the floor beside her. The child pushed a curl out of her eyes and said, “John Carl is at that dumb ole girl’s house.” Maggie knew what that meant. It meant that he would not come home for a long time.

*

Small hands shook Maggie awake. Skeeter said, “Get up.” She opened her eyes. Skeeter was right in her face. His hazel eyes looked into hers. They were not the same, they would never be the same after this past week. He said, “Daddy’s got the car all packed, ‘cept your stuff. He told me to tell you, ‘Get your butt in gear.’” With a jerk, he pulled back from her and ran back inside.

Maggie propped herself on her elbows. The morning sun warmed the cool blue sky. The leaves on the trees that lined the branch whispered to each other. Soon, she would be back in Houston, back to the noise of streets and freeways. Usually, she was reluctant to leave. This morning all she wanted was to be home. She kicked off her sheet, rolled it up in her sleeping bag and went inside.

Billy’s bed was empty, so was John Carl’s. Maggie went into Daniel’s room. As she changed into her clothes, she looked around the room trying to memorize it’s contents. On the chest of drawers was the book NEVADA. She hadn’t finished it. Without asking if she could have it, she tucked it into her bag. She would finish it when she got home. She hoped it had a happy ending, she could use a happy ending.

After she had checked and rechecked the contents of her bag, she got dressed and took her bag outside. Billy was leaning against the trunk of the Mustang sipping coffee. He was still half stoned on his pain meds. He gave her a goofy grin. She put her stuff in the trunk. He said, “I will be missing you.”

She gave him a quick hug and said, “And I will be missing you.”

From the porch there was the squeak of the screen door being closed. Maggie glanced up. It was John Carl. He headed toward his truck. She left Billy and went to him. Shyly she placed her hand on his arm. She said, “We are leaving.” For a brief moment he looked at her, and then at her hand. She expected him to jerk his arm away from her, but he did not. In a choked voice he said, “Thanks for caring about me. It means a lot.”

Before she could answer him, he pulled away from her and jumped into his truck. She wanted to say something, anything. His truck roared to life making speech impossible. He gave her a weary smile and backed out of the drive. She watched the dust cloud his truck made until he disappeared. She turned away and went back to the car.

Garnet, Bill, Mama, Daddy, Corey Jean and Skeeter had come outside.

Daddy said, “We best be going.”

Mama grabbed Garnet and said, “I will call you when we get home.” The two women held each other along time. They didn’t let go of each other until Daddy put his hand on Mama’s shoulder.

He hugged Garnet and then shook Bill’s hand. Bill said, “Thanks for coming. We couldn’t have got through this week without you.”

“Glad we could help.”

Maggie hugged Garnet. She felt once again the awful stinging sadness in Garnet. Quickly, she let go of her and hugged Bill. The stubble on his chin scratched her cheek. He rubbed her face and said, “Guess I need a shave.”

Corey Jean hopped around Maggie with her arm’s stretched out. Maggie stooped to hug her. When she let go Corey Jean said, “I am gonna miss have’n a girl around. All that lives here is dumb ol’ boys.”

“Hey,” protested Billy. “I ain’t dumb.” The next instant, he pulled Maggie in his arms. She could feel the thready beat of his heart through her chest. His lips brushed her cheek. Mama, Daddy and Skeeter climbed into the car. Patches with his tail swinging, waited beside Billy. Maggie stooped down and petted the old dog. He had been such a friend to her over the last eight days. She whispered, “Take care Patches.” His warm brown eyes smiled up into hers.

Daddy yelled, “Come on.” Maggie raced to the car and climbed inside. Daddy turned on the motor and backed into the drive. With one last wave, they headed home. Patches barked and chased them down the drive. When they reached the branch, he stopped planted himself and wagged his tail. Maggie wished she could take him home with her.

When they passed Uncle Woody’s trailer, Don, Earl and Bee Bob were hanging out their window waving. Skeeter waved back. Maggie blew them kisses.

A cloud of red dust swirled behind the car as they drove down the dirt road. Soon they were on the highway. They passed the garage where John Carl worked. Even though the garage was closed his truck parked out front. Maggie strained to see him inside. She couldn’t. The car was moving too fast. At least he wasn’t at Brenda’s.

They passed through Dublin. Other small towns were blurs. Mile after mile slipped behind them. Maggie stared out her window. So many memories, some near, some far played slowly through her mind. It hurt to remember. Uncle Woody said time would make it easier…she wondered how much time it would take.

The sun traveled across the sky. They were nearing Houston. Soon another day, another week would pass. They would visit the Wills on Labor day weekend. In a few weeks she would see Billy, Garnet, Bill, Corey Jean, Uncle Woody and his boys and even John Carl…but it would be a lifetime, her own lifetime, before she saw Daniel again. She turned her eyes to the big Texas sky. Somewhere up there, and in her heart, was Daniel. He would be with her always.