《August Wind》Chapter 16. In the Cemetery
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The hot evening sun burned its way into the truck cab. Being in Daniel's truck was weird. She thought it would be comforting. John Carl didn’t look right driving it. She wished they were in John Carl's truck instead. Really what she wished more than anything was that Daniel could still drive his own truck.
They turned off the dirt road and headed onto the pavement. Up ahead was the cemetery. Maggie pointed at it. "Can we stop there?"
“Why?”
That afternoon she had decided that the best way to get John Carl to talk was to take him to Daniel. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Now she was not so sure. Lamely she said, “Cause I want to.”
John Carl shrugged. He pulled up to the gate. Maggie got out. John Carl didn't move.
"Will you come with me?"
He sighed and looked at her. "I don't really want to."
"Please?" she asked.
"Why?"
"Please," she said again.
Finally, John Carl got out. He opened the gate for her but he didn't follow her.
For a moment Maggie couldn't find Daniel's grave. A fresh grave near his confused her. She looked back at John Carl. He was slowly coming towards her. "It's over here,” she told him.
The hard dirt clods had melted in the heavy rains. The grave looked softer, not so much like a scar on the earth. Maggie rounded the grave and stood facing John Carl. He stopped five feet away. Everything about him was tense and withdrawn. He waited.
Maggie plucked a few wild flowers and placed them by the little marker with Daniel's name on it. She cleared away some of the dead dried wreaths.
Maggie looked up at John Carl. He was studying the toe of his boot. Now what? she thought. Dear God what do I say?
The wind blew through the trees. The dry leaves brushed against one another. It reminded Maggie of yesterday morning in the branch. She had felt Daniel's presence then, she wished she felt it now. She forced herself to speak out loud. "Daniel, it's me, Maggie. John Carl's here too. I've heard it's real nice up in heaven. Your mama says you got a lot of family up there. So I guess you aren't lonely. We sure miss you down here, though." Maggie glanced back at John Carl. He was still looking at his feet. She didn’t know what else to say, so she walked to where John Carl stood.
In a husky voice he asked, "Do you think he heard you?"
“Yes.”
“How do you know?”
At that moment she didn’t know, but she hoped. She hoped Daniel was watching them. She hoped he or God would give her a sign that would help her know how to help John Carl.
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Still looking at his boots John Carl asked, “Can we go now?”
They hadn’t talked. She hadn’t done what Garnet wanted her to do. It looked like no sign was coming. “Uh, I guess.”
As they made her way back to the truck Maggie noticed a big dent in the tailgate.
She asked, “What happened to the tail gate?”
John Carl stopped. He looked at the tailgate. In a flat voice he said, “Billy did it."
"How?"
For several seconds, John Carl stood there staring at the dent. Maggie wasn’t sure he was going to answer her. Finally he said, "Daniel, Billy and me were out in the woods gathering dead mesquite branches for Uncle Woody's Fourth of July barbecue. When we got finished I wanted to ride next to the window and so did Billy. Daniel took my side. Billy said, 'You always take his side.' Which wasn’t true. Billy picked up a big branch and made a swipe at me. I jumped just in time. He hit the truck instead of me. That’s where the dent came from. It made Daniel madder than I’ve ever seen him. He cussed at us, jumped in the truck and drove off.”
"Why don't you and Billy get along?" Maggie asked.
John Carl didn’t answer. He grabbed hold of her hand, and led her to his door. He opened it. She climbed in. When she scooted to her side of the seat he asked, “Why you sitting way over there?”
Shyly, Maggie slid beside him. He put his arm around her. A warm and wonderful something wrapped itself around her. She could feel her heart beating faster. She had never sat so close to a boy, except for Billy, but he didn’t count did he? Perhaps John Carl’s feelings for her were no different than Billy's. She pushed the thought away.
After they had gotten a little ways down the road, John Carl asked, "Do you ever think about dying?"
Really, at this moment, she didn’t want to talk about death with John Carl, even though that was what she knew Garnet wanted her to do. She took a slow breath in and said, "Until this week I didn't."
His arm tightened around her. “Me either.” He paused then asked, "What did you mean when you said you wanted to ride in this truck one last time?"
"This afternoon I heard your daddy say he's going to have to sell it to help pay for the funeral. It must cost a lot to die."
“Yeah.”
She asked, “Why didn’t you go to the funeral?”
John Carl didn’t answer. He stared at road. Silence filled the cab of the truck, heavy suffocating silence. Maggie started to feel queasy.
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The sky turned from pink to lavender. The breeze was beginning to cool. Maggie was failing Garnet. She was supposed to be getting John Carl to talk. He wasn’t talking. She didn’t know what to say. Then, she felt him wrap his fingers in her hair.
He said, “Your hair is so soft.”
“Thank you.”
“I think it is the softest hair I have ever touched.”
Immediately Brenda came to Maggie’s mind. Her hair was softer than Brenda’s. That was something, wasn’t it?
The first stars began to dimple the sky. John Carl leaned his head against hers. "You're Daddy told me to get you home before dark. Looks like we are gonna to be late.” He asked, “What do you think he will do to us?”
“I don’t know, hopefully just gripe, he’s real good at that.”
John Carl laughed. “My dad is a good griper too. I wonder if I will be one when I’m a daddy.”
“A griper? I don’t think so.”
His fingers twirled through her hair. “I’ve been watching you with the kids. You are so patient with them. You’re really good with kids.” The compliment pleased Maggie deep down. He had been watching her. He had noticed her. That meant something didn’t it?
They turned from the pavement onto the dirt road. They were almost to the house. She wasn’t ready. She wanted to ride forever pressed up against John Carl. She saw the gate. John Carl pulled up to it and stopped. Maggie slid out her door to open the gate. John Carl drove through. After she closed the gate, she got in on her side, then quickly slid across the seat. John Carl put his arm back around her. It wasn’t over yet. They headed down the drive. The truck hit a bump as they ascended the drive. The headlight beams bounced crazily creating weird shadows in the trees. Maggie could see the lights of the house.
John Carl pulled Daniel’s truck beside his own. They needed to get out, but Maggie didn’t want to, she didn’t ever want to. John Carl looked down at her. He seemed to want to say something, but she wasn’t sure what it was and she was too shy to ask.
There was the crunch of grass beside the truck, then a small head popped up through the open window. It was Don. He asked, "What you tryin' to do John Carl, kiss her? I'm tell'n. You are gonna be in so much trouble." He jumped down and raced to the back door. Maggie heard it bang closed.
John Carl said, “I guess we better get inside.”
Embarrassed, Maggie nodded. All she could do was pray Don was just teasing. Had John Carl been about to kiss her? She slid out of the truck behind John Carl. Without touching or speaking they walked to the house. When they entered the dining room, Daddy looked at John Carl and said, "Last time I checked out the window it was dark."
"I'm sorry sir."
"Well don't let it happen again."
Maggie looked at John Carl and raised her eyebrows. That wasn't so bad. Don had just been teasing.
In the living room Garnet, Bill and Maggie's mother were looking through an old photo album. "Come see this," Garnet said to her.
Maggie looked at the picture Garnet held out to her. It was a picture of her when she was four and Daniel was ten.
John Carl looked over her shoulder. "You were so cute."
"She still is," Billy said. He sat down on the fireplace and smiled at Maggie. He didn't smile at John Carl or even look at him when he said, "Oh, by the way John Carl, Brenda called. She was pissed about something."
John Carl shrugged. “When isn’t she?” He didn’t go to the phone. He stayed behind Maggie. So close she could feel his breath on her neck.
Maggie handed the picture back to Garnet. Garnet looked from her to John Carl. She mouthed the words, Thank you.
Maggie bit her lip. She hadn’t done what Garnet asked her to, not really.
Corey Jean raced up to Maggie and handed her a picture of a baby. "I think this baby looks just like me, but Mama said its John Carl."
Maggie took the picture. A chubby baby grinned in the photo. Yes, that was definitely John Carl's smile.
Corey Jean snatched the picture away from her. "Mama says I got to take a bath. I told her I wasn't taking no bath till you got back."
"Do you mind?" Garnet asked.
Maggie really didn't want to but she said, "No, I don't mind."
Corey Jean dashed off to the bathroom. Maggie followed. She glanced back at John Carl, he was watching her, and so was Billy.
When Maggie entered the bathroom Corey Jean slammed the door closed. "Listen," she giggled.
Bill yelled, "How many times have I told you not to slam the door, Corey Jean?"
"He always says that." Corey Jean lifted her arms up so Maggie could undress her. "Is John Carl your boyfriend now?"
Maggie said, "No."
"Shoot, I was hoping he was. Well I wish you'd think about getting him to be your boyfriend because I've had about all that old Brenda girl I can take."
Maggie turned on the water and Corey Jean tested it with her toe. She grimaced and said, "It's too hot. What are you trying to do, boil me?"
"No." Maggie turned the faucet to cold.
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