《Valiant Phantasm》Stupid jealousness

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It was early in the morning. Morgan felt troubled.

As brothers, Emmer and he came from the same mold, so he had expected his brother to be a bit awkward around their relatives at first.

He was so wrong. Instead, Emmer’s more social personality made its magic and he adapted magnificently to Onder and its people in just a couple of days.

Emmer’s extensive knowledge -about topics Morgan couldn't even begin to understand- made him a great discussion partner for Seras and Sigmund.

He was also on friendly terms with Bertrand. They were better than Morgan with the bow but lost against him while sparring with swords, which brought them closer.

All the workers of the castle saw Emmer with good eyes, too.

In the end, Cailin was the only person who didn't like Emmer, and that was another big problem altogether.

He should feel happy for the way his brother had been received by Onder’s people. Instead, it made him uncomfortable for reasons he didn’t want to delve about. And he had no way to distract himself from those thoughts.

Not after his brother and his group took the watchtower for their quarters, unknowingly depriving Morgan of one of his favorite places on Onder.

“I’m an idiot,” he mumbled, staring at the roof while laying over his bed. Suddenly, someone knocked on his door. "Who is it?"

"It’s me," said Cailin. "Can I enter?"

Morgan felt surprised. Despite how kind and gentle the girl was, she could hold a grudge.

Not wanting to make the situation worse, he rushed to open the door. "Cailin," he murmured, unsure about what to say.

Before he could speak, the girl hugged him. "Sorry for being mad at you..."

After a moment, he returned it. "Sorry for not telling you that I would leave. I knew it was going to make you sad but couldn't bring myself to tell you myself. I was a coward."

“Don’t insult yourself.” Cailin backed up and stared at him. "You don't want to leave, do you? Can't you stay, then?"

He patted her head gently. "Sorry, but I can’t.” Staying was never an option. As much as he would miss the Basthed, his father had ordered him to return home with Emmer, and he would do so. It was his duty.

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She looked at the ground. "I hate him," she mumbled.

"E-eh?"

"Emmer! It's his fault! We were happy until he arrived, and now he wants to take you away."

He shook his head. "Don’t be silly, this doesn’t have anything to do with Emmer. It was my father who decided I had to return. Just as uncle Sigmund and aunt Seras take decisions about Bertrand and you, even if they make you upset. That's what parents do, they choose what’s better for their children."

She pouted. “But you are unhappy. They made you unhappy!”

Morgan thought he had hidden well enough how he was feeling, but apparently, that wasn’t the case.

"They did nothing wrong.” He shook his head. ”The fault is mine."

"How?"

The answer made his stomach churn but he had to say it. He couldn’t lie to her. "Because looking at Emmer reminds me I'm the younger sibling... The less smart, talented, and charming one. Practically all I do, he can do it two times better." Cailin was silent. He sighed. "Don't you feel like that sometimes too, Cailin? When Bertrand does something amazing you can't do and you feel bad about it, even though you should feel proud of him. And realizing that only makes you feel worse." He looked away in shame.

"You are jealous," she said, putting in a single sentence what it had been so difficult for him to convey.

"Yeah... I guess I am."

"You shouldn't... I don't think what you said is true. You are a lot better than Emmer." The girl smiled encouragingly. "Even when we are troublesome, you always watch out for Bertrand and me. You are really kind and also amazing at fighting, just like those knights and warriors in my stories! No matter what, you'll always be my favorite cousin, Morg!" The girl hugged him again, taking the chance to put a beaded necklace around his neck. "This is for you!"

"Are you sure?" It was hers; a gift from Sigmund. Handmade and relatively simple, yes, but she still loved it.

"I do.” She smiled. ”Keep it so you can remind us when you leave."

His hand closed around the dark blue gem in the front, feeling its warmth.

"Thanks, Cai."

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* * *

With the winter so close, everyone in Onder used an extra layer of clothes; the afternoons getting colder and colder.

Feeling energized, Morgan had been helping Seras to decorate the castle’s backyard for the town New Year celebration that would take place the next day.

Sigmund had been on his study all day, finishing some last-second business; Cailin had gone to help the maids in the kitchens; and Bertrand... He had no idea what Bertrand was doing. Knowing him, probably pulling some prank on some unlucky bastard.

Everyone was cheerful, the exception was Emmer, who seemed troubled since morning.

With effort, Morgan put down one cider barrel beside the others. “What’s wrong with him?” he mumbled. Morgan had asked but his brother dismissed his worries and said it was nothing important, which only served to irritate him. ‘Am I that unreliable that he couldn’t tell me?’ He shook his head to dissipate his obtrusive thoughts.

“It’s enough with this, Morgan. You should go rest for a bit,” said his aunt.

“O-oh, I’m fine, aunt Seras, I can still-” he stopped when Seras glared at him.

“Morgan, you have been working all day!” Her expression relaxed. ”You are a strong young man, but you also need to rest so don’t overdo it.” Before he could insist, she pushed him away. “Besides this is for your birthday too, so let us take care of everything, alright?”

Having his birthday during New Year’s eve was weird. It kind of made him part of the center of attention and he disliked that. “A-alright.” She smiled and went back to supervise everyone’s work.

Morgan sighed and started walking. He already had an idea about where to go.

* * *

Against all his expectations, Morgan's sword training had reduced considerably the last few days. Needing some new opponents to compare his strength and technique, he had expected the chance of sparring with the soldiers that came with his brother.

Unfortunately, they took the training grounds for themselves as soon as they found it, making clear civilians weren't welcome.

So, the only thing Morgan could do was to look at them from afar. His attention inevitably focused on the unpleasant leader. Despite his less than stellar behavior, Morgan couldn’t deny Ivonn’s skill.

His hits were strong, of the kind that left bruises without much effort. And while his technique was simple, it didn’t leave a single opening and there was no wasted movement.

Expectably, he swept the ground with each of his opponents.

"They are good, right?" said Emmer, all of the sudden beside him.

Morgan flinched. "Y-yes. They seem a lot better than the soldiers here." It was kind of expected. Onder was a small place that rarely saw conflict.

"Oh, so you are analyzing them."

"You could say that." He nodded. ‘Not because I want to, but because I have nothing else to do.’

Emmer followed his gaze and his affable smile disappeared. "Sir Ivonn isn’t causing you any problems, is he?"

“Oh. No, don’t worry.” Morgan looked around to make sure there wasn’t anyone else at hearing distance “But, is he always that... intense?” It was the nicest way to put it.

Emmer nodded, looking uncomfortable. "Sir Ivonn is a very capable knight, but sadly, he is not a people's person.”

"I noticed," he mumbled.

Emmer chuckled awkwardly. “Though, he has a reason not to be particularly happy right now.” Morgan lifted an eyebrow. “I don’t know all the details, but he was dismissed from the capital and sent to work for Father. And now, here he is, as a mere bodyguard.”

Such a thing could be interpreted as being degraded; a considerable blow to a soldier’s pride. “I guess I can’t fully blame him.” It didn’t make the situation less awkward every time the man glared at him or anyone else, though.

"Don't take it personally, brother. The duties of a man of his caliber are quite heavy. It’s quite normal for him to be stressed.” Emmer's gaze darkened

"Is something the matter, brother?"

Emmer looked at him, looking tense, thinking carefully about what to answer. "We need to talk about something important."

"Yeah...?" He was getting nervous himself.

"Not here. If you don't mind, I would prefer to discuss it in the watchtower?" The situation was weird, but if his brother was in some kind of problem, he wanted to help.

They walked towards the horse stables. Morgan failed to notice the way Ivonn stared at them, a smile slowly growing on his face.

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