"Let me guess, I'm in some half-baked, poorly plotted and terribly world-built world full of uninspired character designs, uncreative races, and a quite frankly pedestrian magic system."

I didn't get a response from the god, author or other such all-powerful being, but looking over the bland city I could tell the setting was uninspired, probably medieval fantasy. I'd read enough to realise that there would be some all-powerful God of Light that is perhaps, also extremely evil or has some kind of evil side.

Or maybe it would be a pantheon of generic gods, like the God of Death and the God of Mischief and the God of War. Either way, it sounded so fucking dull.

Oh, not to mention, I have my memories of my old life - so this is a fucking Isekai too. I'm not sure Author God could have picked a more washed out genre.

Well, I guess the Inciting Moment has already been done. I was pulled out of my 9-5 job and shoved into here. Oh how clique.

I would try and describe the city, but quite frankly it's every generic fantasy city merged into one. White buildings, rivers, and it's sprawling. There, you happy?

I scratched my head. I, in no way, felt magical. Guess it's not a LitRPG, since I'm not seeing numbers floating about. No voices in my head either.

"So, what's gonna happen here, Author God? Where's the plot hook?"

Waiting…

Nothing.

"Alright then, I'm sure it'll come later. No doubt some girl will scream from an alley and I'll have to save her or some shit like that. In twenty chapters, I'll be fist-fighting god or something."

Fuck it.

I picked a direction and began to walk. People had noticed me talking to myself. I didn't pay them much heed. After all, were they even real?

Ooh, do I come back to life if I die? That'd be cool. Though I wouldn't want to go Re:Zero style. That'd be bad.

Or is this gonna be some kind of 'hardcore' fantasy where I nearly die at every possible opportunity.

I walked past an alley. I decided to go in.

No time like the present to test out if some random rogues would come out of no-where with knives or something.

To my honest disappointment, they did not.

Now I felt stupid for just walking into some random alley. Oh well, live and learn.

What I saw next disappointed me further. On a wall, hanging over the street, a sign with an arrow pointing down another street was labelled:

Adventurer's Guild.

Oh, of course there would be. Still, could be fun.

I walked down the street until I reached a building that could, absolutely not, be anything other than a guild. Wooden, stinking like an alehouse, and slightly decrepit.

Perfect.

I pushed the door aside. It looked pretty standard - a far, far too cute girl on the front and rowdy adventurers behind her. I looked around for a magic crystal that would estimate my magic level, but if it existed, they didn't keep it in the main reception. Which was undoubtably smart - those things probably cost an arm and leg.

There was a small line, so I waited. Not like I had anything better to do. When they called me forth, I asked what it takes to become a member here.

"This guild works on a one-time fee of 300GC."

"Let me guess, Gold Coins?"

She shot me strange look.

"No, Gussiame Chatla. The national currency?"

Well, at least it isn't that generic.

"How much is that, roughly. Let's just say I'm not from around these parts."

"To put it straightly, more than you have if you've just come here. You should try one of the subscription-fee guilds. They charge little upfront. Most people come to these kinds of guilds after quite a bit of work."

"Does magic exist?" I said, bluntly.

"Of course?" She looked extremely confused. "Do you not have magic where you're from?"

"No. Could you tell me where I could find out about magic?"

She crossed her arms. "I mean, have you tried a school?"

No, nonono. This is not becoming a School Isekai. I could feel the bile rise up in my mouth at the thought. I went through enough school before, thanks.

"Not like that. Just a rough overview."

She looked to the left. I followed her gaze. "Technically, we aren't meant to send you to her unti- Hey!? Where are you going?"

"To the exposition women, duh?"

I stepped up to the other window, with a slightly less attractive women with black hair and sunken eyes at the helm. She held out her hand.

"Is there a fee?"

"No. Put your hand in mine, and I'll appraise you."

I put my hand over hers. I would say they felt soft or something else creepy, but she had gloves on.

"So, are there Classes or Archetypes or something?"

She shot me a look, obviously focusing.

"No." she said, curtly.

I must admit the curiosity towards just how generic this fantasy world actually is making me a little impatient. In all honestly, I didn't really want to be here.

Hmm. Now that I think about it, I bet the author wouldn't allow me to die. That could be useful.

"1, 12, 4, 6, 8, 10." she said. "Five Even, one Odd. Decent potential."

Huh?

"What does that mean, exactly?"

"You know the moons in the sky? The Thirteen?"

Thirteen fucking moons? What are the tidal forces on this world like?

I bet there's a religion that worships Tsunami's or some shit.

"Sure?"

"Well when you were born, Number 1, Number 12, 4, 6, 8 and 10 were in the sky. Five even numbers is a pretty good indication that you'll be powerful. Only one odd is a pretty good ratio too.

She looked behind her, at a note.

"You know what, stay here." she said, then disappeared behind a door.

Oh, am I a chosen one or something?

Power is decided by Even numbers then?

I peeked over the desk. Anything to steal?

No, just pencils and paper, mostly.

I leaned against the wooden desk. I've been thinking. I don't really want to be here. In all honesty I would have been fine dying in my old life. I was decently happy. I didn't need some kind of second chance. But I would be willing to bet the Author God has something in mind for me - some grand destiny or brilliant adventure. Humble beginnings as an adventurer, some dark cult. Probably.

What if I didn't do that?

What if I forced him or her to end this book prematurely?

Hell, I wonder if I could become so powerful I could just leave the book altogether and strangle the fucker who's done this. That'd be fun.

I'd probably have to be evil as fuck to do that, spend years gaining power and all that. Hell, maybe I could be the clique Dark Lord. That'd be fun as fuck. I mean, just being a king or something would be interesting, but if this is a book like I think it is, why not go to the top?

Yeah. Sure. Hmmm. What's an Evil name?

I was always partial to Asmodeus. Or perhaps Abaddon. Abadeus? Nah. Asmoddon? Fuck no.

Lucifer? No wait that means Light-Bringer.

No, Asmodeus is always the king of the demons, in like, everything, so fuck it I want to be called Asmodeus.

She came back.

"Follow me, please. A word of advice, act calm."

What?

I followed her through multiple doors, then up two flights of stairs. She stopped at the door, then gestured me inside. The room was hot, and smelled of… something. In the middle, a lone man stood.

Please don't be a wise wizard. Please don't.

He turned, and I saw a scabbard in his hand. The sword was long, judging only by the sheathe. His beard and hair were white, and in my mind that marked him as somewhere on the higher end of middle aged. In real life, he'd need assistance to go to the toilet with hair like that, but this is fantasy, isn’t it?

"I have heard you are a Five."

"I don’t know what that means, but sure?"

"It means the moons were close to aligned when you were born. I am surprised you have not been told this."

"I come from a different place. And no, I won't say."

He nodded.

"I brought you up here to discuss. There is a known policy of mine, only in this guild, and none other in the Kingdom, that those with a Four and above are welcome."

"How kind of you."

"Hmm. You are shrewd. Yes, I freely admit that it is for my benefit. Many of the higher-aligned flock here just for the free entry."

Did I just pass a perception check or is the Author just inexperienced. I didn't say shit that would get that reaction.

"Then I assume you intend to offer me this same deal?"

He nods.

"I am glad you are smart enough to realise this." He said, then stepped over to the wall, pulling off a long sword, but not as long as his.

He threw it towards me, and I caught it on the scabbard.

"I do offer this, but under a few conditions. For now, we have plenty of those that are magically gifted. I need those who can use Skills rather than Spells."

"I hope you don't expect me to know any." I said, watching as he placed his feet.

"No, I only intent for you to show me you are not completely hopeless. You must be eighteen or so, yes? Then we have time to teach you. But I will not make the investment on a failure-to-be."

He unsheathed his sword. It was half as long as him, and he was taller than by a few inches.

"Worry not. The moment I draw blood, I will stop. It is up to you to show me your skills."

I pulled the sword out of the scabbard, discarding it to the floor. I felt the weight of the sword. As far as I could tell, it was well-balanced. I could hold it with one-handed or two-handed grip, so I chose two. Why not?

He took a few steps forward. I decided to rush him. I was adamant that the Author-God wouldn't kill me. It also seemed like the old man didn't expect that. He brought his sword down to defend, and from his position, if I didn't also block, he could have just struck me down the middle.

I didn't feel like dodging, so I just continued, my face rushing head first into his blade. But my blade was also going for his heart. I pushed it harder, overextending myself.

But, the tip reached him, and he jumped back. I fell over from the unbalanced strike, but the duel was done.

"Do you have absolutely no self-preservation at all? I could have cleaved you in half!"

I laughed for the first time since coming here. His outrage at my lack of wanting to live amused me.

"I don't really care if I die. Either I do, or I get to continue living and achieve my newfound goals." I said, still half-laughing from the absurdity of what I'd just done. It felt good to laugh in the face of death.

"What are these goals, such that you are able to throw your life away for victory?"

"Escape." I said, looking straight at you.