October 17

The last person I connected with was my friend Nathan; He had the normal wants for someone of our age group, have them being the newest video game or the newest sports drink that everyone is making a big deal over. I see no need for these carnal desires but of what I want I can attain in a five-minute walk to the art store down the street from my little corner street condo.

I never judged Nathan for what he desired mainly because he was the only one that I was able to tell apart due to my getting used to his mannerisms and speech patterns. The way he greeted me with semi painful slap on the pack and a “Heyo Denny” made it always easy to recognize that it was him speaking these random words and sentences.

I always sat away in the middle of the classroom reading my many books, and Nate would randomly try to talk to me, which I would always ignore him. Until one day walking up the east stair case to the roof during our lunch break, where we can go anywhere as long as it’s still on campus, I tripped.

The way that I had fallen, I would have definitely severed my spinal cord from the aftershock of the drop. But about ten feet from impact luckily someone was there, someone not that much bigger than me broke my fall. I fell unconscious.

When I started to regain consciousness it was as if I had woken up from a coma that lasted many months. I slowly opened my left eye, upon seeing the bright white light bouncing off the tiled ceiling and stark white walls, I slammed it shut, I didn’t even attempt a second try. All I heard was some voice next to me beckoning me to wake up as if I already didn’t wish to but these damn lights are not helping that fact. “Ar… you… Den….y?” It followed in a non-determined pattern of broken letters and sincere sounds of panicked noises and moving of what I would guess to be small tables or desks.

Am I in the clinic? I thought I was walking to the roof. “Wake… p… Den?” The words became more comprehensible but still jumbled. “Yo.. shoul… go… back t.. class N..te. It wo..ldnt do an.. good miss class. He’ll be f..ine here.” A female voice was saying in a calmed and hushed voice to someone really close to where I am.

“No, it was my fault he’s unconscious, he always seemed to want to be alone so I tried talking to him. He seemed to be accepting but annoyed deep down, so he must of went there to get away from me. I’m staying, I want to at least apologize in my own words.” He said as if he was actually talking to me instead of the lady. I knew exactly who it is; it’s obvious that it’s Nathan.

I never actually found him a bother; I just never talk to anyone, so my interaction skills with people are a bit on the loose side. I never want to lose anyone so I decided to not respond to his attempts at communication. Now, I understand what he actually felt. Without thinking I responded, I didn’t know if my emotions took over or if I was still drowsy from waking up but I spoke without opening my eyes.

“I don’t find you annoying, or bothersome, or anything of the sort. I don’t like to talk because talking brings pain for me, and I don’t want to say something and lose someone just because of whatever defect I have that prevents me from being able to keep people close to me. I do consider you a friend and I look forward to our conversations, even if it doesn’t seem like I do. Also I don’t blame you for what happened; it’s just a small bump on the head and some light scratches. Go on to class, I’ll be back tomorrow, and I will try to respond next time, okay.” I said all this with the feeling that I might have just made a mistake for my sake not his, but he left with seeing a loose smile on my face, and with that he said his goodbye with the message of “I’ll be on the roof at lunch tomorrow, climb carefully,” and gave a concerned look as he left the room.