《The Kissing Game》Chapter 27

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By now everyone thought that Axel would get the kiss, but I understood. It was obvious. From how close we were, even the dullest students could tell that he meant something to me. So, I didn't mind the murmurs of Axel and I.

I smiled out of nowhere in class and Hannah frowned. Class would start soon and I was too busy thinking about that to speak to her, which I knew wasn't very nice. I knew I had to fill her in with my life.

"You seem happy," Hannah commented, raising her eyebrows.

"I am," I answered, grinning as Hannah took a chug at her water bottle. "I like Axel."

Hannah choked on her water and I smiled shyly. Once she was calm she stared at me with wide eyes, causing me to blush.

"Oh my god!" she screamed. "You do!"

My face went red as I shushed her. She giggled and I rolled my eyes, but grinned. I couldn't stop smiling at this point.

"So, what about the game?" Hannah asked excitedly.

"If anyone will get the kiss, it will be him," I said, shrugging. "But I won't be passing the kiss anytime soon."

"Why not?"

"Honestly, I don't know if he actually cares about me." I looked over to where he sat and sighed, seeing that he wasn't in class yet. "I don't want to give him the kiss and have him forget about me."

"Oh Zoey." Hannah frowned. "Axel cares about you. I really do think he likes you, but nothing can be said for sure. But from the way he looks at you, it's obvious you mean something to him."

I looked at her, hopeful. "Are you sure?"

She grinned. "Definitely."

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My heart lightened up. I had been worried about Axel's intentions, but I was also hoping he liked me back. Hannah's words gave me hope and I decided to hold on to them.

"Did you ever say sorry Xavier?" Hannah suddenly asked.

I flushed, looking at the boy I had ditched at the dance. He was sitting alone, studying, and guilt wrung my heart. I had totally forgotten about him and with him brought to my attention, I realized what I did wrong.

"No," I answered, ashamed. "I should though."

"Why did you ditch him?" Hannah asked.

"I... I don't know," I frowned. "Axel just has a way of distracting me. He just consumes my attention and- Oh God, Hannah. This is exactly why love is annoying. The feeling is just too much."

Hannah laughed lightly. She seemed to enjoying this.

"How do you handle it?" I asked, huffing. "You like Archer."

"It is consuming and distracting and almost annoying, but it's worth it," Hannah said, smiling. "It's such a wonderful feeling and when your feelings are reciprocated, you feel unexplainably happy."

I wondered about that happiness. A part of me wanted it. But, I wouldn't go for it. Not for now, at least.

"Will you ever tell Axel how you feel?" Hannah suddenly asked.

"Maybe at the end of the year." I looked down, blushing. "I don't know to be honest."

"Are you scared?"

My head flew up at the question. No matter how much I tried to push the feeling away, I had an answer to it.

"Yeah," I said. "I'm scared of him breaking my heart."

I looked away, embarrassed. I had always been so strong, so courageous, and I had once thought that my heart could never be broken. But I realized that that possibility did exist when you liked someone and to my shame, I had to admit I was scared of it. Heartbreak was a painful thing from what I heard, so I didn't want to face it.

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"Oh Zoey," Hannah said, eyes softening. "He could possibly break your heart, anyone can, but don't let that stop you. Even if love can be temporary, for the time it is there it's worth it. So don't let something like fear get in your way."

"Really?" I asked, hopeful.

"Really."

Hannah looked so sincere that I smiled. Maybe she was right. Even if love was temporary, even if it wasn't perfect, it seemed worth it. There was a reason why society was so obsessed with love, so I knew that maybe I should try for it.

*****

My parents and I were sitting at the dining table. Mom and Dad were talking about something, smiling with joy as they joked around. I was staring at them, suddenly thinking about what I had done.

Despite Mom's wishes, I had fell for a boy. I had fallen for the boy she didn't like and I knew she wouldn't be happy. Actually, I knew she'd freak out.

It was strange to think of how hard I tried to please her and my dad, and all of the sudden I was doing the one thing they were strongly against. A few months ago I wouldn't dare disobey them, but things had changed. Axel had changed me.

"Zoey," Mom suddenly said, zoning me back in. "Why are you staring at us?"

"Oh... Sorry," I said, slumping in my seat. "I... I was just thinking."

"About?" Dad asked.

What you would do if Axel and I got together, I thought, blushing. It was something I wanted and although I hated myself for such thoughts, I had to be honest. I liked Axel and I wanted him to be mine. It was crazy knowing that, but from what Hannah said, I hoped it would be worth it.

"What are you thinking about?" Mom asked, frowning.

I stared at her and blushed when I saw that she was analyzing me. She knew me well and I knew she could tell I was thinking about Axel. It was obvious from the slight anger filling her eyes.

The tension was growing thick in the room and a heavy silence had fallen over us as Mom waited for a reply. I couldn't reply however, because I couldn't lie to Mom. Even after everything, I wanted her to be proud of me. She wouldn't be proud of a liar.

Thankfully, Luke suddenly entered the room, saving me from having to speak the truth or a lie, which would end with me in trouble either way. He grinned that grin I knew too well from Axel and I sighed. Luke was so carefree and I wished I could be like that.

Things went back to the usual as Luke acted like an idiot and brought smiles to my parents faces. I pretended to be happy as well, but a part of me fell sad, knowing my parents wouldn't be happy with my feelings. But truthfully, I knew I couldn't force my feelings away. I was stuck with them and I wouldn't hide away from them.

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