I sit down besides my little brother as he watches the tv, "Hey"

"Hi" He mumbles

"You didn't finish your dinner.....it's almost like we switched bodies" I say amused

He doesn't reply and I sigh

"You were right though, I have been selfish"

He looks up at me, "I didn't realise how much this would affect all of you guys and I'm sorry" I say softly

"Does this mean your gonna get better?"

I nod and he hugs me, "For you Matty, I will"

He smiles as we pull away and I sit back, "What are we watching?"

"Iron man-

"Hell no" Lola walks in before grabbing the remote and I snort

"We're watching pretty little liars" She sits down on the other side of me and Adri sits beside her

"I don't wanna watch that, it's boring" Matty complains

"Don't listen to Santiago, you know you like it" She says amused

"If I'm staying, your staying" I tell him

He groans

~*~

You know what's quite surprising? I've never actually thought about weighing myself, not even after I would work out. So when dad had to do it this morning it felt weird. He said that dr Gomez needed to know how much I weighed before he booked me in as an in patient, whatever that means

Anyway the day went by quickly, thankfully I didn't have to go to school. The only reason I would want to go is so that I could see Carter, but I got to stay home with Matty so that was fine.

It's 7pm now and I'm going to the Miller house, Julia's actually supposed to be looking after Grace today but I still want to go and spend time with her one last time. "Daddy I'm going"

He kisses me on the head, "See you tomorrow Mi hija"

Oh yeah, I kind of forgot to mention that I'm sleeping over. Usually he'd be hesitant on shit like this but it's probably the last time that I'll get to see Carter before I go. That sounds weird now that I think about it.... Where does this leave us?

I close the door after getting into my brothers car and he starts the engine, "If I hear that you fucked him, I'll end his life myself" Enzo says

I snort, "You act as if I'm a virgin"

"To me you always will be"

I roll my eyes, "So have you told him?" He then asks

I lay my head back against the headrest, "Not yet"

"Why not?"

I look out of the window, "I just couldn't bring myself to text him.... And it's not like I'm going right now"

"Yeah but your still leaving this week"

"Your making me wanna change my mind-

"Nope, too late. Your doing this"

"I guess I am" I mutter

I went on my phone for the rest of the journey, five minutes later and Enzo was pulling up outside the gates. I don't know why but I feel nervous, Carter probably doesn't wanna talk to me especially since I was so rude back at the hospital.

"You ate already right?"

I open the door before picking up my bag, "Mac n cheese, courtesy of Adriana" I reply

"Don't have too much fun!" He calls out

I flip him off with a smile before walking towards the gate, he drives away as I press the button on the intercom. "Yes?" A voice says expectantly

"Hey it's Carmen" I answer

"Come in dear"

The gates open almost immediately and I pass through before making my way to the front door. The house is a little quiet, every light downstairs is off except for the one in the kitchen. Julia's wiping down the counter, "Hey Julia" I smile

She looks up, "Hello Carmen"

"Need any help?"

She waves me off, "Don't worry about me. Grace is in bed, I'm sure she'd be excited to see you" She says amused

"Thanks"

Her bedtime ranges from 7:30- 8:30, I'm guessing she's sleeping earlier today...However her lights on. I open the door before folding my arms, "This doesn't look like sleeping to me"

Grace gasps as she sits up, "Carmen!"

I walk over to the bed with a smile, then I crouch down so that we can hug. "Miss me?"

She nods against my chest before looking up at me, "Do you feel better?"

"I do" I say softly

"Can we play hairdressers?"

I laugh, "I'd love to, but your supposed to be sleeping"

She pouts, "But I promise that tomorrow morning I'll do your hair for you ok?"

"Are you sleeping over?"

I nod with a smile

"Maybe you should sleep with Carter"

I snort, "Your a cheeky one today aren't you"

"He misses you" Grace whispers

"I've missed him too"

"Can you sleep here until next week?"

She's full of a lot of questions today, I look down at the comforter. "Actually.... I can't"

I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell her until the morning but it's best I get it out of the way, "Why?" She frowns

"Remember how I've been unwell for awhile?"

Grace nods, "Well I need to get better..... and I can't get better if I'm working"

She frowns, "Your not gonna look after me anymore?-

"Hey, it's just for now" I assure her

As she lies down I start to feel really really bad, "Grace"

She turns to face the wall before pulling the comforter over her head and I look at her softly, "I'll come back in morning" I say quietly

That did not go how I expected it to go at all, I didn't think she'd be this upset. I hear her sniff as I shut off the light..... I hate that I made her cry, hopefully I'll have luck with the older Miller.

Every inch of me wanted to turn away but then when I reached the door my mind said fuck it. I walk in thinking that he's sleeping, but as I look around I notice that the beds empty. "Grace why aren't you sleep-

Carter stops after noticing me, he's just walked out of the bathroom with a pair of sweats on.... But no shirt

Yess

"Carmen" He says surprised

"Hi" I say awkwardly

"When did you get discharged?"

I sit beside him, "Yesterday..."

Carter nods slowly

"Look I'm sorry" I finally say

He looks at me, "Yes I was mad that you told my family but I get it.... I mean I'd probably do the same if it was you. I don't want you to stop speaking to me" I say the last part quietly

"You know when you passed out there was a moment where I thought I had lost you"

"And you promised" He then says

I know, I promised I wouldn't die but I honestly didn't expect any of this shit.

I look at him softly, "I'm sorry"

"Just don't scare me like that again" He pulls me into his side and I close my eyes as I lay against his bare chest

He smells so good

"I'm sleeping over" I murmur against him

Carter pulls away with surprise, "Really?"

I nod, "And since your not gonna wear your own clothes, I will"

He rolls his eyes before getting up and I smile to myself as I lie down on my side, "Did you go to school?" Carter asks

I frown as he goes through his draw, "No.... But why didn't you?"

He tosses me a shirt and I catch it, "I was tired"

Sure

"And here I was thinking that you were depressed without me" I say sarcastically, he sits back down

"Me? Never"

If it were up to me, I would've fucked Carter a long time ago. But what he said to me when I was high made sense and I understand why he won't have sex with me yet, or ask me out. "You like red right?"

He narrows his eyes, "Is this a trick question?"

I smile before shaking my head, "I've just come to realise that boys are obsessed with the colour" I lift up my shirt and he raises his eyebrows as he assesses me

His fingers trace the lacy material and I watch him as he drags them along, I honestly didn't think that I could get butterflies just from him touching me but I guess he proved me wrong, "What are you doing to me C" He mutters

I smile before leaning forward and pressing my lips against his. I will never get tired of the way that Carter kisses me, the way his warm lips move against mine slowly as if he doesn't want the moment to end, and the fact that he feels me up as he does it too, it makes me feel good. He lies back down on the bed, keeping our lips locked together as he does so. I feel my heart rate start to rise rapidly as I straddle him, yes people I can feel his erection from underneath me. "Carmen" He says breathlessly as I pull away

"I want you..... but not right now"

I trace patters on his chest as he stares at me, "Trust me Carter.... I get it"

I lean down, brushing my lips against his ear. "But a few marks wouldn't hurt" I murmur

He intakes a sharp breath, "Fuck"

And before I know it, he's flipped us over so that I'm underneath him. I widen my eyes with amusement, "You make this so hard"

I smile innocently, "I know"

Carter leans down lower so that he's leaning over me, his lips hover over my neck and I clench my legs together tightly. He chuckles,

"And I thought I was easy"

"Shut up"

He gives me a quick kiss before moving closer and I close my eyes as he starts to suck on my neck. I relax under his touch, wrapping my arms around him so that I can feel him more. My emotions are literally all over the place right now, I feel loved, I feel excited, I feel relaxed..... I literally can't focus on one.

Now I didn't plan on moaning..... but then he bit me in my weak spot. Me personally, I feel awkward when I moan so I was just as surprised as him when it slipped out. "Keep up with that shit and I'll actually end up fucking you" Carter murmurs against my neck

I had to clench yet again, "Doesn't sound too bad" I breathe out

I think that bringing my foundation was the best decision that I made tonight, for sure.

-

We didn't have sex, for those wondering. We just made out a couple times, cuddled and watched a movie. Now we're actually in bed, I reckon it's about ten or eleven?

Anyway I finally decided that now was the right time to tell Carter that I'm leaving.... Temporarily

"I'm being put into a recovery programme"

He traces patterns on my back, "For real? You're gonna do it?"

I nod but after realising that he can't see me since we're in the dark, I say yeah.

"What made you change your mind?"

I lie on my arm, "I wanna get better, not just for me but for you and my siblings too. I don't think I realised how it affected you all until Matty said something"

"I'm so proud of you for doing this"

"The hardest part was telling Grace"

"What did she say?" He asks

"She didn't say anything at all.... She just went underneath the comforter and cried. I felt really bad"

"Trust me, by tomorrow she'll be over it"

I hope so

I sigh, "Carter"

"Yeah?"

"I just-.... The main reason I don't want to go is you" I say truthfully

"Me? How come?"

"Because I don't know what'll happen to us"

He holds my waist underneath the comforter, "Hey, everything will be fine with us" He assures me

"If it's longer than six weeks then I don't want you to wait for me"

"I'll wait for you no matter what"

"But-

"Carmen, I don't give a shit how long it takes. I'm waiting" He says softly

"Promise?" I whisper

Carter kisses me on the head and I smile with my eyes closed, "I promise"

"Good"