Inside The Node's Great Chamber, The Node was nowhere to be seen. When the bounty hunters arrived, they were instead greeted by a dozen rows of fold-out chairs, a side table with coffee and hard, dry cookies, and an agitated General Kendra Eppie.

Freckles sat off to the side with a paper notepad and over-sized novelty pencil to take the meeting's minutes (his webbed fingers made it difficult to hold a regular pencil). He had placed a few vases of half-dead, purple and brown (mostly brown) flowers to brighten up the dark dankness of the room. A few maintenance men worked quietly in the background on dripping pipes, clogged duct work, and hanging wires.

Jorge Jorge Jorge arrived first and headed straight for the cookies. He ate them all. No one would dare call out the huge reptile on this apart from Toobli, but Toobli didn't eat cookies and therefore, when he arrived moments later, he didn't notice. He had also eaten an entire bag of "Gaston's BBQ Gelatin Grub Parts and Dried Human Fingers" before showing up.

Teeg walked with purpose into the chamber and sat right up front. She didn't take her eyes off of Eppie, and ignored everyone else. She was alone. Gekko had gone looking for sustenance and Clory was guarding The Muse. The others steered clear of her and her reputation for causing horrible pain and tantalizing humiliation.

A robot the size of a large human rolled in on its tank-tread "foot", and immediately started grumbling and complaining about the slight dampness. The blue, translucent holographic projection of a middle-aged man's horned head that floated atop it switched topics from dampness to the price of ship parking without skipping a beat. Everyone ignored Mel Million Max, which gave him one more thing to grumble and complain about.

A dozen or so other bounty hunter-wannabes shuffled in, grabbed their paper cups of weak coffee and had a seat wondering why they hadn't been served cookies. There was much excited chatter amongst them. No one had ever known The Node to hire bounty hunters, and no one had ever been to a function such as this that didn't serve cookies.

Lastly the Blankton clone sauntered in with a stupid look upon his face. Much like every other clone, he had a thick chocolate-Labrador-coloured (and scented) moustache and a patch on his eye that he wore for no other reason than to look tougher and more like his hero, every other Blankton. Upon seeing him the entire room booed and threw their paper cups at his head. Quite used to this response he shuffled in and sat next to Toobli, who was very good at ignoring others.

Eppie cleared his throat and stood awkwardly proud in front of the hunters, ready to hush them.

"Ahem!" he yelled. If he hadn't been connected to The Node this wouldn't have worked, but he was, so it did.

"Men. Women. Those that are neither and those that are both..." he looked to Toobli "...and, um, other...?" Toobli stared ahead accepting this acknowledgement by doing nothing. "You have been called here by The Node himself. The Great Node requests your assistance."

Two wavering holographic images, much like Mel Million Max's blue transparent head, appeared at Eppie's side. Images of both Potto and Aye flickered in the darkness of the room. Mel perked up upon seeing his son.

"These two masterminds have taken something from His Greatness, and He means to have it retrieved by one of you," Eppie continued.

"Isn't the little one called Aye?" Blankton interrupted. He squinted. "Yeah, yeah, it is him. He works down in Mild Flooding Absorption. My late brother Blankton used to work with him. Spends all his earnings on anything with testicles, tentacles, hallucinatory properties or an alcohol content greater than hover-ship fuel. Mastermind? I've been drunk with him. He's an idiot."

The room erupted in laughter and surprise that a Blankton could cause a room to erupt in laughter. No one was more surprised, however, than Blankton himself. Before he could enjoy it, Eppie fired a laser pistol at him, reducing him (mid-smile) to small pile of ash on the hard seat of his plastic chair. This garnered even more laughter and surprise until a slightly miffed Eppie had to hush them again.

"Please keep your comments to yourself until after the briefing," he scolded. "I hardly think The Great Node would call on the likes of you trash if they were a couple of idiots..."

~~~

When Aye had stepped onto the elevator to go down to Ginny's, he didn't bother to notice that the elevator wasn't there. The door had, as it often had in the past, malfunctioned by opening too early. The elevator hadn't reached the roof yet. Not noticing, he stepped off and immediately fell, presumably to his death.

A Blankton was riding on the elevator that should have opened at the roof. He was late for a bounty hunter briefing in The Node's Great Chamber. He tried not to let his tardiness make him anxious. He nibbled on a sweet and flaky pastry and leafed through a copy of (another) Blankton's bestselling (amongst Blanktons) self-help book "So, You're a Clone, Huh? How 'Bout That? Kisses and Hugs From a Cruel Universe." He took solace in the book's (and a Blankton's) futile attempt at wisdom.

In his head he had just started chanting his new mantra "You got this. You're very special. You deserve all the kisses and all the hugs" when a screaming Aye came crashing through the ceiling of the lift, instantly crushing him to death.

Aye stood up, on the back of a dead very special Blankton that deserved all the kisses and all the hugs, noticing that he now had a sweet and flaky pastry in his hand. He pressed the appropriate button on the elevator and picked up the Blankton's book. He started leafing through it while he snacked. He didn't like reading, but knew that if there were pictures it would make the trip go faster.

As he turned the pages with his sticky pastry fingers, they tore out. He scratched an itch on his brow and soon had pieces of self-help book stuck all over his face.

When the doors opened at Ginny's, Aye stepped off the elevator and immediately tripped over a wet-floor sandwich-board sign placed over a small slop of drunk-vomit.

He cracked his forehead on the floor receiving a small cut for his clumsiness. He got up and made his way around tables, across the busy floor of the busy bar and to the busy bartender. The stylish human bartender looked at him with disgust. The bartender usually looked at him this way, but today there was even more reason to do so.

"Stings," Aye muttered pointing to his forehead gash. "Think I got a lil' vomit in my cut."

Once he had his drink, he looked about at his prospects with no clue that there was a piece of paper stating "Chapter 7: I'm a Winner, God Dammit!" stuck to pastry, blood and sick on his forehead.

~~~

Finally having everyone calmed again, General Eppie walked up beside the life-sized holographic image of Potto, holding a clipboard. He checked his notes and sighed loudly.

"This one was a prisoner on Tractos. Sentenced to life for some really horrible and stomach-churning crimes. He is called Potto. He is a Quarole. As far as we know, he's the last one," he then sneered, "...because his home planet of Quarolode is one of the Lost Seventy...NOT because he had the balls to kill his entire species. Just sayin'."

Some of the bounty hunters shuffled uncomfortably in their seats. One of them coughed for effect.

"Be warned that his people can change their colour to match their background. This natural camouflaging ability can make them very dangerous. Very stealthy.

Jorge Jorge Jorge was about the only one that could interrupt Eppie without repercussion. Laser pistols did very little to him. So he did interrupt.

"I've met Quaroles before, a long time ago," he said with cookie breath. Despite his enormous size and intimidating looks, he had the voice of a very articulate three-year-old girl. No one dared laugh at this. "Not to sound racist, but isn't this one...uh...a little pale?"

"Yes, yes, yes. Please, enough of the blurting out. Albinism is a sign of great intelligence for his species. Camouflage and super intelligence? Watch out!" Eppie said, trying to upsell the danger factor of two he suspected were not dangerous at all, but he did so to save a little face for The Node.

"But won't that affect his colour changing? Won't he be a shade or two lighter than his surroundings?" Jorge Jorge Jorge blurted out again in his little girl voice.

"No," he stated matter-of-fact, but the truth was he didn't have clue.

"And Quaroles were known for being very mild-mannered. What were these stomach-churning crimes he committed?"

It wasn't uncommon for Tractos prisoner files to get lost. This was the case regarding Potto, and again, Eppie had no clue. He quickly changed the subject.

"Now, onto Aye-, um, Aye..." he started, being interrupted by the loud slurp of Toobli snorting up Blankton's ashes next to him through his long snout. Eppie glared at him but he was very good at ignoring others.

"The only one more dangerous than Potto is perhaps Aye-Aye of Towerscape..."

Mel Million Max started laughing loudly, big belly laughs. Which was quite impressive considering he had no belly.

Before Eppie could get cross at this, Teeg stood up. All went hush.

"Enough of the bullshit, Eppie. Two things. First, why is the Great Node so threatened by these two? Surely they can't be that threatening to His Greatness. They look like morons. Especially your super smart albino tree-hugger," she said dryly.

"For the love of--" Eppie stewed. "I'm getting to that! Man oh man! So rude! Interruptions!" he looked to Toobli, "Snacking! And Mel Million Max didn't even bother to bring a pencil!" he ranted.

"I'm a super computer!" Mel contended.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Eppie yelled. "I don't care! To answer your very impolite question Teeg, the dim looki—er—the sly and dangerous Potto has something very secretive that The Node must have. Which means he must be returned alive. Aye, dead or alive, it doesn't matter."

"Oh! Is it a baby?" Jorge Jorge Jorge peeped excitedly. "Is the Quarole having The Node's baby? I love babies. I just don't care, I do!"

There was an awkward silence. In the distance a worker quietly electrocuted himself.

"Er, no," Eppie answered after a spell. "Now Teeg, not that I condone your outburst, but to hurry this along, you said there were two things. What's the second?"

"I don't care who they are. What's in it for us?" she asked.

"Ah. Finally we get to it. Well firstly The Great and Powerful Node won't have you all put to death, but as further incentive the hunter who brings them back will be given everything they have ever wanted. Wealth. Power. Fame. Electronics. Erotic pets. Gift certificates for virtually anywhere..." he boasted with a proud and smarmy grin.

Teeg didn't wait to be released from the briefing. She had no interest in anything more Eppie had to say. She downloaded the holograms of Potto and Aye into her wrist communicator and walked out on the others. No one stopped her, and Eppie ignored her and carried on, only rolling his eyes a wee bit.

"As you well know, The Reachable Universe is a vast, vast place. Where they are now is anybody's guess. They could be anywhere," he said solemnly and dramatically. "NOW, any questions?"

Potto stood up from the back row. "I don't have any questions, but I do want to thank you for the coffee and the company!" he smiled. "Look how cute that guy is!" he pointed to Toobli, "And you sir, have the voice of a little baby angel," he cooed to Jorge Jorge Jorge. He made his way to the front of the room and stood next to the holographic image of himself and examined it. "I will definitely keep my eyes peeled! You're right, this guy looks terrifying!" he said and then left the room.

"Uh, I got a question," Jorge Jorge Jorge piped up, "Are we on the clock yet?"

~~~

By the time Aye was ready to play pick-up artist, he was several drinks in, quite drunk and had a drink in each hand. He spotted a Kancorian female across the room and smiled wickedly. He had always been turned down by Kancorian females in the past, but he was hoping that the uniform would change everything. He staggered up to her.

"You look very familiar," he lied. "Have we met? Perhaps we've been intimate? No, I'd have remembered that, and probably I would have kept your shed skin as a plaything for later," he winked, turning back and yelling to the bartender, almost spilling one of his drinks, "Barkeep! Where's my drink?"

Gekko stared at him with her huge blank beautifully unblinking eyes. She took a sip from the small creature with the straw impaled into its forehead that she had ordered from the bar. It let out a little scream. She cocked her head, bird-like, examining him further and turned to walk away when Aye stopped her with an ill-advised hand on her shoulder.

"Let's cut right to the chase. How much for a flaming-acid Sanchez?" he smirked.

Taking this as the major insult it was, Gekko turned back to Aye, twisting the arm he had on her, and swatting him in the face. With her sharp claws his cheek immediately started bleeding, adding to the ridiculousness that was his pastry covered, self-help papered, Mantis wounded, dried blood and vomit-crusted face.

"Wowza! Ok! We're communicating! So...I was thinking...maybe we could go back to my flat, you could use those claws of yours to get this very important uniform off of me..." Aye slurred.

Gekko quickly landed three punches on Aye before he fell.

One breaking his nose, one breaking two ribs, and one bruising a part he wasn't even aware he had. He went down hard, smashing a table in half, but remarkably not dropping either of his drinks. He grimaced in pain before again yelling out to the bartender, "Barkeep! Where's my drink?" He then passed out.

On her wrist communicator Gekko received a message from Teeg with a holographic attachment. She looked at the holograph of Aye and then down to the flesh-and-blood Aye and then attempted to make something similar to a smile that came across as if she was about to say "Yeeeeeeee."

~~~

Teeg was not one to just accept an assignment blindly. She needed to know everything about the prey, about the client, and she needed to know all the reasons the client had for wanting them found. Where other hunters accepted the deal without a second thought, she needed to make her own mind up about the situation. Even if that client was The Node.

She thought about the reward. "The hunter who brings them back will be given everything they have ever wanted" meant she could not only demand pardons for every one of her Barbohdean sisters, but it also meant she could make it so their secret hide-out moon stayed a secret forever.

She made her way to the offices of Tractos Prisoner Filing. The office was really just an abandoned closet with a small abandoned computer in it, under someone's abandoned poncho.

The room had barely been used as no one, especially The Node, really cared about prisoners once they were dropped off on Tractos. Now that Tractos was no more, it probably wouldn't be long before the space became a mere place to hide from Mantis Widows.

She logged onto the computer. There were no firewalls or passwords; these files were not important enough to protect. She did a search for Potto. The same picture that was made into a hologram at the briefing came up first. There was personal information about his early days on Quarolode, but when she delved deeper to find out what crimes he had committed, what landed him on Tractos, or how dangerous he was, an unexpected "Top Security Clearance Needed To Proceed: This Is A Node Only File" warning popped up. She checked other random prisoners and found no such warning. This raised many red flags and cat-killing curiosities.

Just then there was a knock on the door. She unsheathed her sword quietly and slowly opened it, expecting her competition to be on the other side. One of them must have thought to research their prey as well.

"Hey! Are you almost done in there? " Potto said as politely as he could with the pain of urgently needing to relieve his bladder straining his voice.

~~~

Mel Million Max didn't have the patience to wander halls of various government buildings on Lyme Node looking for the Quarole and his own son. He knew they would eventually make a run for it.

He sat in his lonely ship above Lyme Node and waited for a Shiv class ship to leave. His experimental computer sensors were years above everyone else's, and though his very modest robot army was terrible company, they would ensure he would catch Potto, get the bounty, finally kill Aye and redeem himself even if it took him a thousand years looking for their "lost planet" home world.

He rolled into his control room and watched Lyme Node like a parent watches a school waiting for their terrible child to exit at the end of the day. He could almost hear the Towerscapian subway birds cry "Heeeriiiam! Heeeriiam! Heeeeeeeeiiam!"

If he could fantasize, he would fantasize about cloning Aye like a Blankton and killing him over and over and over to make a mighty fortress out of millions of rotting Aye heads. And maybe being able to smoke again.