"Are you still angry that I left prison early?" Ibrahim asked, nervousness in his voice.

He was looking for reasons as to why he and I weren't together anymore as all I said was that I needed more time. "No, no. Wallah, I wasn't. I am glad Mr Black sealed the case and you left. For the girl's sake." He seemed reassured by my words. I paused for a second before continuing. "I was trying to drop the case for months now but I never had the courage to forgive."

"Oh," Ibrahim replied.

I could see the hurt on his face, and for the first time in a long while, I understood why he was hurt. Even though the proof had been there, I had never fully believed that Ibrahim had loved me. I always thought it was one-sided from his actions, but I just now understood that he loved differently.

I laugh which result in him giving me a perplexed expression, "Ibrahim there is no one in this world that can exhaust my heart the way you do." I smile, "Which isn't a good thing, believe me, but no matter where I go Ibrahim. I always come back. During your prison time and those months we spent seemed to give us both a chance to shed that old skin and start afresh. It's a chance for me to let go of my past anger and a chance for you to let go of the old you, your old ways." Ibrahim smiled at my words.

"Does that mean you're not angry at me anymore?"

I looked up at the dark sky for a moment as I sat beside him in the Yilmaz's garden. It was a clear night. I could see the stars. "I was angry. I was angry at you for so long, and even though I said I didn't, I did hate you. Not because of what you did. But because you betrayed my trust. I hated you kept all these secrets and for hurting our daughters despite how much I loved you, and I hated what my life had become. I was angry that everything I'd dreamt for and wished for and planned for hadn't come true and that is why I left six years ago. So I couldn't hurt and hate you for anything any longer."

I explained further, " I preferred to hold onto my anger because it was safe. I knew anger. It was easier to be angry at you and not run the risk of being hurt. I didn't want things to go back to the way they were before."

"But the things is, since shedding the past, I've had time to think long and hard about what I want. And you know what?" I looked him in the eyes then, and even as I said the words, I could hear the truth and conviction in them. "I forgive you."

He seemed to stop breathing in front of her. I could see the shock and slight disbelief on his face, and that didn't surprise me. After the whirlwind relationship I had, he'd probably stopped believing I would ever forgive him.

"I'll never forget what happened, but I can't carry that anger in me anymore. I don't want to."

Reaching one hand out, He pressed his fingertips gently across the back of my hand, and then down my fingers until he reached just by the tips of mine. I, in turn, raised my fingers until just our fingertips were pressing together.

"Where does that leave us?" he asked, after a quiet moment.

"At the start." Ibrahim sighed as his thumb began rubbing circles slowly on my hand. "Maybe one day, we can find each other again," I said.

Life has a way of testing us sometimes, making it an almost impassable road to tour through. The only way to get over the bumps and speed traps is to traverse it with the belief and faith that it is a hardship to test you. It also doesn't hurt to have someone special beside you. The problem is that the person that means the most to you can have just as many bumps on their road. At the fork in that path, they find themselves travelling beside you.

Ibrahim was still trying to appeal to his medicinal license suspension while I tried to balance the hectic life of being a senior year medical student. Ibrahim and I were still married, but we were together for the kids, or that is what I kept convincing myself to say whenever someone asks.

"Mama, look!" Lila said in astonishment.

It was early morning, the sun just beginning to rise above the city. Lila stood at the edge of the fishing boat, leaning on the railing and holding a rod into the deep waters of the Pacific Ocean. Next to her stood 7-year old Layan, limply holding a fishing rod of her own while her eyes drooped sleepily.

"Layan! Wake up!" Lila shouted, startling Layan from her near slumber.

"Wha..ah..what, Lila?" said Layan looking about, as if surprised to find herself standing on a boat instead of resting comfortably in her bed.

"Wake up. We're not here to sleep. We're here to fish," said Lila frustratingly, "Right, Baba ?" She smiled.

He nodded.

It was her first time fishing in a real river; Lila was ecstatic. This can't be said for Layan. The smile on Lila's face can't be described. After successfully completing the heart transplant surgery, Lila was discharged from the hospital a little more than two weeks after surgery. Even though many physicians and surgeons believed that Lila's small body couldn't handle operation anymore and they advised us not to go for it, we went for it. They told me years ago that she doesn't have a chance to make it past five years, but now she is breaking the odds. Lila believes the VAD device and the time she spent as an outpatient over the summer helped her build the strength she needed to recover from transplant surgery. As a reward for her bravery, Ibrahim decided to take her on a fishing trip.

"I couldn't sleep from your snoring last night." Layan groaned.

"I don't snore," Lila said softly before she counted to ten silently a she lightened her tone, "Layan? Why did you come fishing with us then" asked Lila.

"Because Mama forced me," Layan replied as I smiled her way. "Your father made me, so I had to force you," I grinned at Layan.

"This is fun guys, a family trip." Ibrahim beamed.

"So we are a family now ?" Layan asked as her question wasn't directed to Ibrahim but toward me with an accusing look.

"Yes, Yes we are," I say suddenly.

I blink, having just startled myself. It was an automatic response, but the strange thing is...I might actually believe it. I swallow thickly, unable to break away from the intensity as I look into Ibrahim's gaze.

He grins softly and I look away from him. "I knew it," Layan replied smugly.

She seemed to want me to admit it more to myself than to her, but I was terrified.

"Why are we even fishing ?" Lila flare was directed to all of us, her flare similar to her father's when we left her beside the edge of the fishing boat and decided to chill in the seats behind it as I took the water from the cooler.

Layan shrugged. "So...we can stab a helpless earthworm through the gut, dangle him in saltwater and fool an innocent fish into thinking he found a free meal, only to rip him out of his home where he will suffocate until we cut him open and eat him?" she suggested.

Ibrahim shook his head. "No, Layan. Fishing isn't just that. Fishing is a skill that has been passed for centuries. It is the circle of life. It is survival. It is people venturing out into the dark, or the cold, or whatever conditions necessary to provide food for one self..."

Layan stared at her father, a look of child-like confusion etched on her face. "Couldn't we just go to the target on a sunny Saturday afternoon?" She asked.

"You're missing the point, Layan," said Lila frustratingly.

They continued arguing as I was about to stop them when Ibrahim squeezes my hand, enveloping it in his. I stare at our joined hands, watching his fingers gently caress the top of mine, making it tingle, and for now, I forget about their fighting as I let him guide me away.

"What are you thinking of?" He asked.

"I'm thinking...of how strange this is," I muse. "A few years ago, I would've never pictured you and me in the same room, agreeing on anything." The thought makes me grunt aloud.

Ibrahim watches me. "What?" he signed, "I used to picture it," he says lowly. "I used to wonder what it would've been like to wake up to you every morning, to share my days with you, to share my..." – he trails off, drawing in a deep breath that expands his chest, exhaling slowly – "...to share so much with you."

His ensuing grin is open and surprised, and so captivating. His entire demeanour lightens, and I wonder if he knows; if he's aware that these touches of his, these grins, his absolute openness with me are so fascinating, so disarming.

Of course, he knows. He's always known.

I hold his gaze. "Ibrahim, I do know. Some things about you are so familiar, yet others are so...different."

He caresses my hand, waiting for me to continue.

"But this, this right here, is just perfect. I don't want it to disappear. I don't want you to change." I feel a sharp pang in my chest at the words and see Ibrahim flinch, "Admitting we are a family, admiting what we have is real, take me back seven years ago when I thought of how happy ever after felt as I stood in your room and how you broke me,"

He inhales deeply, letting it out in one long breath. "I wish I could take everything I did back-" He shuts his eyes tight, supporting his forehead with his palm. "Ya Allah, I'm so sorry."

"Stop."

Quickly, I turn my hand over under his, and now it's me gripping him tightly. He looks up suddenly and blinks, puzzled.

"Don't apologize for this. Despite the fact that I hate what you did, I did things I regretted to. I suppose I'm...proud of you, Ibrahim, of the way you handled everything. I didn't expect it, you know I didn't and I won't lie and say that I did, but...I'm grateful, I am graftuful for you, our girls and everything."

It is how I feel and despite how scared I am to say it, I know he needs to hear it. "Ibrahim, I love you,"

He gazes at me with eyes full of fervent emotion. "Wahaj," he breathes huskily, wrapping both his hands around mine and bringing it up to his lips. "You have no idea how much that means to me."

"Ibrahim-"

He leans over and catches my lips so quickly I don't have time to protest – if that's what I was going to do. I can't be sure, so I allow him to kiss me.

I think I'm okay with that.

"Mama, Baba, Lila fell from the boat" Layan calls out.

I break away from Ibrahim quickly, my face flaming at having been caught but at the same time, I think about how happy ever after has always been the way to bring me trouble.

Ibrahim ran before me as he went toward the front of the boat and I followed him with a heavy heart. My feet were shivering in thier place. I couldn't contain my heartbreak, but as I went near the front of the boat I sow Lila there standing, nothing wrong with her as she was fishing.

"I am going to kill you," Was the only words I could mutter as I saw layan standing there grinning and started to run to catch her.

"This may have happened when you aren't paying attention to minors, instead you are there... doing god knows what" Her smart mouth proceeded mine as my feet ran after her wanting to catch her. Her father stood there wide grin on his face as he catches Layan.

I took Lila, who didn't know what was going on, from beside the edge of the boat and brought her to my chest, "No more fishing," I announced, "Please, Ibrahim take us to land," I pleaded as I checked on Lila from head to bottom before I kissed her cheeks.

"Good, that is what I wanted" The way she play her games on us reminded me of him as he stood there fuzzing her head, "Smartass," he commented.

"Never do that again," I warned Layan, "Please Ibrahim retain your daughter." I worry remembering how she doesn't only look like him, but she acts like him too.

At the end...

Alhamdulillah for everything that happens to me, happiness or sadness