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There I was. Standing in front of that house, again. That house that made me feel everything. Every feeling I felt when I went into this house. And now, I was standing here, going through the same. I can't do this, it was too much, too much to take. But I needed it. If I needed answers, I had to do this. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. A few seconds later a girl around twenty opened the door. She smiled up at me and I began feeling nervous. My hands were sweaty and I was slightly shaking.

"Oh, you must be Yasmin. Come in" she said and I took a step inside. I wanted to ask who she was. She didn't look like them or me and I remember Yassir telling me that he and Yessin were the only children.

I followed her inside and took my shoes off. She mentioned for me to follow her and I did. We went to the same living room where I saw her for the first time and my headache started coming again. Anxiety was flowing through my veins and I wiped my sweaty hands off on my shirt.

"Who is it, Humeyra?" I heard her asking. I froze and couldn't move anymore. I closed my eyes, not able to open them. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to run out of there, not looking back, never coming back. I wanted to stay, hug her again, feel it again.

"Y..Yasmin?" she said with a soft voice. I felt tears streaming down my face but I had my eyes still closed. I couldn't look, I didn't want to see the thruth. That's when I felt two arms wrapped around me and that's when I started crying. I hugged her back, wanting the warmth. I didn't want to let go. Never had I ever felt something like this. It just pained my heart, but it felt good at the same time. After a while I could open my eyes. I looked at her teary eyes. She.. I couldn't believe how much I looked like her.. How much I looked like Yessin. She tugged me on my arm and we sat down on the couch. You know that feeling, when you actually want to say something but your throat hurts and it feels like there is someone holding your throat for you not to breathe. That was what I felt then. I couldn't say anything even though I wanted to ask everything.

"Just ask me.." she said and I looked up at her confused. She stood up and I saw Yassir coming in but I paid no attention to him.

"Ask it. Where we had been. Who you are. Why you were gone. Ask it already" She said. I grabbed my courage together and took a deep breath before I stood up with a sigh too. It was time to learn the thruth.

"Where have you been? Where were you when they beat me up like people beat a punching bag? Where were you when I was all bloody and bruised? Where were you when I took my grandma's beatings just because I couldn't take seeing her hurt? Who am I? Am I worthless? Am I ugly? Am I nothing? What's my name? Unattractive? Worhtless? Nothing? Why was I gone? Was I really that difficult to handle? Was I really not worth your embrace? Was I really not worth learning who I really am? All these years! All these years you don't know what happened to me! What I went through! I couldn't go to school, that was one of my dreams. I wanted to be a doctor, because my doctor was always really nice when I visited her just because I was sick again because they gave me no food! I wanted to become someone people would be proud of! But instead of that, they forced me to marry this guy. This guy who is more messed up than I am. And that, all because you guys left me.. sold me. I- I am here for answers. I am not here to make up anything. I am here because it feels damn good to be here. But I know it would not last forever, because the thruth will be always smashed in my face, sooner or later!" I yelled. I made fists, digging my nails into my skin to feel the pain. Maybe it would help, maybe it would help wash all the pain away, maybe it would help to fade all the memories away. She kept quiet. She didn't say anything. Her mouth was slightly open and she looked at me with wide eyes. Then I saw Yassir, standing against the wall with his arms crossed.

"We didn't leave you" I heard him say. I looked up at him and he looked anywhere but me.

"When you and Yessin were born, Yessin was very sick. If we didn't pay the operation, he would've died. You were okay. You had nothing. We gave all our attention to him because he needed it. One day, when we were about to visit you, the doctor said you.. died" he said and his voice cracked at the last word. What..

"We didn't believe him, because you were okay. Yessin was the one who was about to die, not you. So we wanted to see you, but they didn't allow us" he said and I frowned. This couldn't be true.. No, this can't be true!

"All these years, we felt that you were dead, but Yessin didn't. Maybe it's the twin bond- I don't know. But the moment we told him what really happened, he started looking for you. We told him not to, and that you were dead but he didn't believe us. He said he could feel it. He said he could feel that you are.. alive" he said, finally looking up at me. I saw a flash of hurt in his eyes. He looked so lost, so confused. Just like me.

"One day.. One day he called me and said that he found you. I didn't believe him. I thought it was just him being crazy. But damn, how right he was.." he said wiping away the single tear which fell down his cheek. This.. It was too much. It couldn't be true.. It was not possible..

"No, if it was true, why.. how was I suddenly with them?" I said. It was not true. They were lying. Just like anyone else did to me.

"I don't know. Yessin thinks that they kidnapped you. We weren't there for you so his theory was that they just acted like they were your family and took you" he said looking at his mother. She was now sitting on the couch, looking straight like she was daydreaming.

"I.. I don't.. I need air" I said walking out. I started crying the second I was outside. I held the wall for support. If it was true, all these years.. nothing, just for nothing! I felt someone put his hand on my shoulder and turned me around and hugged me.

"Don't worry, its going to be alright" she said. I hugged Humeyra back hesitantly and we stayed like that for a while. After a moment, I released my arms and looked her in the face. I saw her having tears too.

"Who are you?" I asked her. She smiled at me and shook her head.

"I am the mother of Yassir's child" she said. He had a child? She smiled at my confused face.

"We.. it didn't work out. So we divorced. But its okay now" she said with much pressure. She smiled but I could see how hurt she was about it. She grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. I didn't want to go, but something inside me said go. I went to the living room and only saw Yassir. Humeyra smiled at me before going to another room, I guess the kitchen. I looked at Yassir but looked away when I saw him looking.

"Don't think I believe it all" he said and I just rolled my eyes.

"I don't care if you believe it or not. Know that I will never forgive you for setting up a house on fire while there was a child inside! I don't care about myself, maybe it was the best if I just burned to death. But you couldn't touch them! Not to forget your men kidnapped me and hurt Aneel. I will never forgive you" and with that I went to the room where Humeyra was. I saw that it was indeed a kitchen and saw her helping.. her. They were making something with dough and I saw her teaching Humeyra how she had to do it. I was pressed against the wall, looking at them. I was.. I didn't know what this feeling was but I felt bad. Never had I such a connection with someone. I wish someone would've taught me all that too. Laughed with me too when I did it wrong.

"Where is Yessin?" I asked and saw her looking at me. She ignored me and played with the dough. She felt uncomfortable, just like me. It was all new, so I got it. And besides, why would they want to be close to me?

"He is visiting his dad" Humeyra said and that made my eyes widen. Of course, I had also a ..father. I didn't want to hear about it. I didn't want to know new things so I just turned around and went out the house. When I stepped outside, I started running. I wanted my legs to hurt. I wanted to feel free. I wanted this emptiness to be empty. I wanted Aneel with me, I wanted to be close to him and just cry my lungs out.

When I was home I saw the house empty. I guess Masara was out. I went to the kitchen and found my phone. I needed to hear his voice. I really did.

"Hello?" he said and the tears started coming again. I couldn't held it so I just started crying.

"Baby please don't cry.." I heard Aneel beg. It just made me want him here more than I already did.

"Aneel.." I said quietly throughout my sobs.

"Did they do anything? Tell me, I will kill Ya-"

"No they didn't do anything. Its just.. it was too much. " I said and I heard him sighing.

"I am coming" he said but I shook my head. Not that he could see it.

"No, just do your stuff there and then, come back.." I said quietly. I still wasn't used to this all. I went over to the bedroom and layed down on his bed. I breathed in the scent of his pillow and let out a quiet cry.

"It went horrible, but it couldn't have been better" I said quietly.

"If I can arrange it I will come sooner" he said and I nodded, knowing that he couldn't even see me. I felt myself drifting off to sleep, but we never ended the call. I could hear his breathing and it was like a melody to me. It made me feel safe..

~~~~~

Final Editing Done (04-11-2016)

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