《The Pain You Bring》2 | 𝐍𝐘𝐂

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"I love your hair color, like a lot." Chloe says behind me as she braids my hair. "Do you think I'd look good with it?"

After class, we stopped by Tortaria for lunch. A Mexican restaurant a few minutes from campus.

"I don't know," I say. "Your hair color is really pretty. Plus it's all natural." She sighs as she grabs a swirly hair tie from my nightstand and ties my hair at the ends.

"Yeah I know but, I want something different. You know how you're so used to the same thing all the time you kinda want a break?" She asks.

I know that feeling way too well.

"Not really," I say shaking my head. "But your hair is already a pretty red, maybe a deep brown wouldn't look as bad as you think."

My dark brown hair came from my father's side of my family. I always wanted bright blonde hair but my mother always told me my skin tone wouldn't look right with bright hair.

And she was, in fact, right.

When I was 15, I dyed my hair a golden blonde for my birthday. I thought it looked good before I started high school but by the time freshman year hit, some of the girls in my classes thought I was trying too hard. I told many girls to leave me alone because they weren't being nice.

Okay, I didn't put it that politely.

Chloe pouts as she sits in my desk chair. "Can we go do something?"

I roll my eyes at her, "Chlo, we went for lunch and it's already rush hour. What could you possibly want to do?"

She gives me a sarcastic stink eye, "Do you ever have fun? I know we went to a bar two weeks ago when I showed you around but we haven't done anything since then."

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She comes to sit next to me on my bed. "We live in the Big Apple now, Mandy. Let's go actually live in it and not just sit here with our thumbs up our asses."

I chuckle as I fall back on my bed. "I don't know, I have some homework to do."

Chloe is the one to roll her eyes now. "Homework, homework. Come on! I want to go out and I don't wanna go without you so can you please drag your ass out of bed for one night?"

"You just want to go see some hot guys on campus don't you?" I ask her. She freezes for a second.

My eyebrows raise, "Chloe," I tease, "I didn't see you as the frat boy type." She rolls her eyes again. "Fine, we won't go out," she pauses, "Tonight. But I'll drag you somewhere with me sometime."

Chloe says her goodbyes and leaves my room, shutting my door behind her.

I was so stressed out with school that as much as I did love Chloe, and as much as I would've loved going out, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy myself.

God, school is a total bitch.

Just as I shut my eyes, my laptop starts to go off.

What?

I see 'Abby<3' blinking on an incoming zoom call. Oh my god, I forgot she was calling me today.

After graduation, Abby and I split apart. She was accepted to TCU (Texas Christian University) on an academic scholarship and I came to New York.

For the first couple of weeks, I felt so alone without her. We tried texting and facetiming everyday but school was too much. So we agreed a once a week call would be enough to make time for.

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I run over to my computer and bring it to my bed, answering the call.

"Heyyyy!" Abby says with a smile. I smile back, "Hiii."

"How are you?" She asks. I answer honestly, "Uh really stressed out. School isn't going easy on me." She chuckles, "I can tell. You look like shit."

I flip her off and we both laugh. "How's Texas?"

"It's good. I've been super caught up with sorority crap that I almost forgot to call you. We're supposed to be planning this fundraiser at a Christian Mass in a week," She says as she puts her hair up into a low ponytail.

"How's NYC?" She asks. I huff, "it's true what they say, finding a cab is not easy here."

"I miss you," she says. I miss her so much. It's hard being here without her. "You would've loved it here." Her expression becomes sad, "yeah I know."

Abby wanted to come to New York with me. But her parents paid for her collage and they came to the conclusion that New York is too expensive for them. She was upset, but knew that this was life. She couldn't always have her way.

"You should come visit me sometime. Texas is so fun, and the guys here," She mockingly fans herself, "believe it or not, cowboys are a lot hotter than you'd think."

I roll my eyes for the 50th time today.

We talk for another hour before she has to go and help with more planning for her fundraiser. We say goodbye and promise to call each other next week.

I close my laptop and feel a crushing sense of loneliness. Yes, I have Chloe and a few more friends, but I don't have people who I can ever just talk to and be myself around.

Even in high school, dating was never the best for me. All the boyfriends I did have I normally hid from my mother. She would always lecture me about how guys are useless and you shouldn't waste your time, so dating was never really enjoyable most of the time.

Believe me, I had my fair share of boyfriends. But time was cut short because they didn't like how my mood would die out every time my mother called me or how closed off I became when talking about deeper things. I only ever really opened up to Abby about my life.

I've never minded being alone or keeping my feelings to myself. Being alone was where I could gather my thoughts and not worry about anyone else's issues. Then again, it didn't come with the perks of not feeling it.

Fuck it, I'm not doing my homework right now.

I open up my laptop and decide to watch Sex and The City until I fall asleep.

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