by fear, trauma and the people's belief.

If you read the lines "calling etched in your soul, that you are lost. Specifically, you are a part of someone who has been snatched by hundreds of hands that are clasped in prayer" It is transcribed as reader-san longing for the other parts of her soul and incompleteness.

The explanation is because of people's fanaticism and we're talking about soul intervention here. The people's continued belief that warped a part of readers soul to be reborn too early and separated from the original owner s they can have them for themselves

because even in the manga, author Gege made the same parallels regarding being the honored one.

but in reverse because I want to establish the parallels of these 2 characters.

450-500 words, started with reader in a secret temple

: the ongoing theme of being groomed to be a sacrificed to a godReader: temari ball, satoru:mochi everyone celebrated the sacrifice near their birthday/ dead older siblingsReader:summer, Satoru: winter

circles around reader's first times, wanting to explore the outside that they know through child friend, and the whole narrative revolves around (Winter, autumn, summer, spring)

The narrative's back bone is a poem hidden between the lines of the whole plot through italics and bold words. Basically the whole chapters in these parts are play of words as they are hiding someone. In this story Satoru Gojo

centers around romance, love and the unfulfilled regret that it did not come to fruition but with the realization that they are so deeply in love with another character that they swore devotion and love to only this character in this life or probably the last.

Unless you're a clown but even clowns don't work 24/7

His parents were supposed to be present and it was his mother who looked at him more like a ceremonial sacrifice than her child. Then I realized that it was too light: let's kill his loving mother, have him betrayed and then offer up to the fked up cult instead!

I felt like, he needed a push to isolation that would lead him to dependency with reader-san

She had a whole backstory that was supposed to be in chapter 1, set in post war 1970s, where she was picked up on the streets by the temple priestess. Kiku was supposed to be the POV while reader-san grew up so I can sort of avoid writing Satoru.

SADLY this was cut because it would just be irrelevant to the story, and explaining Satoru's deep fanaticism would be lackluster if it wasn't explained by himself.

The whole chapter was supposed to be longer, explaining his childhood with reader-san but I left it hanging with their fateful meeting and moved them to chapter 3 where it was translated to reader's POV instead. The original or remnants of the draft for chapter 2 is put in chapter 3.

r, rather than really seeing reader-san in chapter 1, he was more of reflecting on himself.

Thinking that what he saw in her was a kindred soul in suffering, and that he was in awe at not being the one people looked up to, meaning that he didn't have to be burdened.

The line : There was a deep intake of breath, his nose filling up with the smell of incense as he was presented.

Was isolated because he was drugged by the incense. Idk if anyone will pick up on the subtle hints that this could happen, as it was explicitly stated in chapter 3 but I did say that the whole religion is deprived and is just a glamoured cult.

. Especially emotionally since it was easily provided by reader san.

I think at some point while I was in the shower, I realized that reader-san is really like his mother. In psychology, Glenn Geher suggests that we do tend to choose a romantic partner who is similar to our opposite- parent so yep.....Satoru's electra complex is through the roof.

And I'm laughing so hard.

The idea was in Gojo's POV, where he admits that he is a selfish child and will ask the reader-san if she really wants to explore the outside. He plots that reader-san will be kidnapped then tortured, and when she's traumatized he'll come to save the day and make reader-san dependent on her. He gets the hero complex when it comes to reader-san but that wouldn't be like Satoru at all.

I've never written a story with a good ending nor soft love before. I really like the dark parts of romance compared to soft and fluffy love, though I do love reading them from other authors.

I really tried to establish Gojo Satoru as a good childhood friend here, and that the reader's POV might be platonic and borderline romance due to age. Time/age frime started at 7 and ended at 13 years old.

If you read Sukuna's story, her dreams are of the past lives, only that Sukuna was replaced by Gojo's image. Uraume made a cameo on this one so good luck trying to separate what was real and what was a dream.

It was easy to channel Satoru's depression, resentment and guilt. Even the dissociation, the reason why I see him as weird Uncle Gojo is because we act too alike.

The original plot was reader-san was going to live a long long empty life of just being purely emotionally abused and dependent on Satoru but I needed to eliminate her for Yuji/Sukuna's sake. I was also thinking if reader-san will die by hanging herself or other methods.

I ended with poisoning herself, going back around to Chapter 1 where Kiku tried to do it to Gojo.

The original plot was supposed to be how Satoru is as deprived as Sukuna without thinking that he actually is, I wanted him to be someone obsessed and absorbed in the religion to the point that he only sees reader-san as a goddess and he isn't afraid to hurt her in any method as long as she stays in character,

It was going to depict rape, cults, and emotional manipulation. And the ending was supposed to be reader-san completely dependent and submissive to Satoru.

She simped so hard for Gojo and I was having a hard time coping with letting Sukuna's story go. She got me so into making fanfics, I think I was at some point entertained to make a whole lot of them with different plots, from gag/slice of life to more of these messed up ones.

Not Sukuna, not Mahito, not Geto. I'm scared of Gojo Satoru.

I just don't trust characters that are too much like me, at least with Mahito, Geto and Sukuna, what their core character and instinct was something that I can understand and somehow predict. Satoru is so good at deflecting, lying and hiding that you're somehow enticed with his personality. We laugh and call this man a clown, that we sometimes forget that he has lines like:

"Should we kill these guys? If we do it now, I probably won't feel a single thing."

- Chapter 75, page 5-6

I practice method acting for the characters I write about so I had to self trigger a depressive episode relapse, that I had to nurse in between chapters so I can make Satoru as human as possible.

I've never sacrificed as much work as I did in this before.