chaotically soft

✧

"MEET THE HUMAN BRAIN" Mr. Clarke put down a model. "I know, I know. It doesn't look like much, a little gross even, right? But consider this, there are a hundred billion cells inside of this miracle evolution." He continued passionately even though barely half of the class was paying attention. "All working as one. No, no. I did not misspeak, I did not stutter."

Rue sat around the back of the class and took notes of everything her teacher was saying. She glanced back up at him. He smiled at her, shooting her a quick wink, making her chuckle to herself. Her science teacher was an old family friend, apparently. Her father was the one who taught him about Audio-Visuals and started the club.

She leaned back on her seat, tapping her pen softly on her notebook. It was a sunny day, and the warm rays of light were sneaking past the blinds into the classroom. Glancing at her purple watch, she waited impatiently for the recess break. Wanting nothing more than to run off to the school's field and let herself bask in the sun, laying on the grass while listening to her mixtape. She wanted a quick escape from the real world and into the voice of Freddie Mercury.

Rue shifted away from her daydream when the door opened suddenly, grabbing all the students lost attention.

"Oh! This must be our new student," Mr. Clarke grinned as a familiar girl walked in, the school's principal walking in as well.

Rue felt her cheeks flush as the two made eye contact. She shuffled in her seat, resting her head on her hand while she watched Max try to walk to the empty desk right away. Rue didn't know what it was, but something about Max made her sigh in admiration.

Mr. Clarke stopped the ginger before she got any further.

"All right, hold up there. You don't get away that easy. Come on up, don't be shy," Max rolled her eyes, making Rue grin and look back down to doodle on her notes.

"Dustin, drum roll," he said.

Dustin quickly shut his book, tapping on it rapidly.

"Class, please welcome, all the way from Sunny California . . . the latest passenger to join us on our curiosity voyage . . . Maxine!"

"It's Max," she said.

"Excuse me?"

"Nobody calls me Maxine. it's Max," she corrected him.

"Well, all aboard, Max." he let her free, and she quickly walked to the back of the room, taking a seat behind the only person she knew, Rue Newby.

Ruth turned around with a small smile on her face. "Mr. Clarke is a passionate teacher. He loves big introductions."

"Yeah, I noticed," Max sighed, glaring at a group of boys who stared at her from the corner of her eyes.

Rue looked at her sincerely, "I remember my first day he made me say what my favourite school subject was and why it was Science."

Max chuckled softly, shaking her head, and Rue felt a hint of pride in her chest before she turned around again and paid attention to the rest of the class.

（ ₊˚. ✰┊📼 ! ）

"All you have to do now is put your foot down and push," Max explained to the girl who stood on the board with wheels, both her hands held onto Rue's waist so she wouldn't fall this time.

Rue felt her heart race as she put one foot down and started to push, "There you got it!" She heard Max say, the ginger's hands sliding away from her waist.

Rue looked behind her to find Max giving her thumbs-up, and she held her arms out for balance.

A breathy laugh escaped from her lips as she felt the cool breeze through her hair. It was a nice feeling, the wind making her lose hair fly behind her as she rode across the yard.

She lost herself with the feeling, and her eyes fluttered shut. Breathing in the autumn air, Rue grinned, feeling all her pain and worries fly off her shoulders momentarily. She liked this; the warm sun rays shining on her skin, while the breeze made her feel almost as if she were flying.

But her pain-free moment didn't last as long as she wanted, since the next thing she knew, she wasn't standing on the skateboard but lying on the floor. Her soft hands hit the gadget ground.

Her palms and one of her knees were burning softly, but the feeling from riding the board still lingered as Rue opened her eyes with a smile on her face.

"Shit — " She could hear Max cursing.

Rue stared at the blue sky before Max's face popped up, her blue eyes filled with worry. "Holy shit, are you okay?"

She laughed gently, fighting back the urge to apologize for falling. Max said she doesn't have to apologize for messing up. It is human to err. Rue reminded herself.

Max's lips curled to a smile as Rue giggled, squinting at the sun, she said; "That was terrifying! I love it!"

She helped her stand, taking her hand tenderly.

Rue felt herself lose focus for a moment as Max helped her on her two feet. She blinked a few times, feeling . . . more than one emotion at once, and one of them wasn't her own.

She made eye contact with Max, which lingered a little longer than she'd like to admit. Standing so close she noticed the tan on Max's skin, making her freckles more prominent. Rue didn't know how, but she could practically feel what Max felt, at the moment happy but worried. She jumped out of her trance when Max looked away from her green ones and looked behind Rue.

"Hey, don't get freaked out," she started, squeezing Rue's hands. "but those boys from Science are looking at us."

Rue narrowed her eyebrows, blinking away the lightheaded feeling and slightly turned her head, glancing at the four boys arguing over each other. She turned her head back around when she felt Max let go of their hands.

"Don't worry about them — " Rue was about to explain that she knew them, but then looked at Max in confusion as the girl kicked up her skateboard after scribbling on a piece of paper.

"What are you — ? Where are we going?" Rue asked when Max grabbed her hand and started to pull her back to the school. She watched Max throw the paper in the trash and then pulled her inside.

Rue followed her as she walked down the halls, which were decorated from head to toe with cut out bats and ghosts and pumpkins for the Halloween season. She sniffed, feeling her nose run. God, she hated flu season.

"I'm sorry about them," Rue smiled sympathetically as the two girls walked down to Max's locker. "They can be creeps, but they're nice."

"You're too kind, Rue, it's fine," Max said, waving her free hand in the air before turning the corner. "Just wait until they open the note," She laughed.

Rue slowed her steps when she saw Will walking down the hall with the principal, both of them making their way closer to the girls.

"Ruth Newby," the principal said, making Max stop laughing. "Will's mother is here to pick you up early."

"Oh," she frowned. Rue glanced at Max who smiled.

"I'll call you," she waved as Rue joined will, both of them walking towards the front doors after stopping at her locker to grab her things.

Rue pulled on the straps of her bag, looked down at Will, who looked like he was going to throw up. Everyone was staring at Will. She nudged his shoulder, making him look at her, "You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah — yeah," he shook his head. Rue knew he wasn't, and she also knew not to pressure him about it. She wouldn't like it if someone forced the truth out of her either.

The two walked out of the school to find Joyce standing in front of her mint green car, a cigarette at hand. She looked up at the two and smiled, waving at them. Rue returned one joyfully as Will only smiled.

The two kids got in the car, Rue sitting in the back. "I'm gonna drop you off at my house while I take Will to the doctors. Is that okay, Sweetie?" Joyce asked her, smiling a kind motherly smile at her from the rearview mirror.

"Yeah that's fine, thanks." she nodded. Rue truly loved Joyce's motherly appearance, Joyce may never replace her real mom, but she sure was a close second.

Rue sat quietly, staring out the window. Her arms wrapped around her bag as she tried not to focus on every bump the car made while driving, but instead, she let her mind wander. Not too deep though, if that happened, she'd never find herself again.

She found herself thinking about Max. No. Not this again. She couldn't like a girl — she'd learnt that the hard way back in Portland. Rue jumped, feeling the car run over a speed bump.

"Sorry, Rue," Joyce smiled softly at her.

Rue put on a smile again and fought back the way her heart was racing. "Don't worry about me." she shook her head with a fake smile. "I can't be scared of cars forever. I'm fine."

（ ₊˚. ✰┊📼 ! ）

doing her homework, chewing on the back of her pencil. The Byers dining room was small, but it was comforting enough to help her stay focused on her Math homework (the one subject she was not good at.) She was trying to figure out how to divide fractions, then turn them into decimals, and then divide them.

She sighed in frustration when she couldn't figure it out. Why was Math so hard? Who came up with this barbaric subject?

Rue stood up, deciding it was time to give her mind a break. She stepped into the kitchen to get a glass of ice, passing by Joyce, who was making popcorn for movie night.

She quietly crunched on the frozen water, watching her dad make his way into the room with a camera at hand, filming Joyce and making her flustered.

"Stop," Joyce grinned. "Stop," she put a hand up to cover the camera.

"What?" Bob mocked, pretending he didn't know what his girlfriend was talking about. "Come you gotta get used to it. This is the future," he explained.

Rue smiled sheepishly. She could barely hold onto those small memories of when her dad and mom were still together. He'd record everything then, too. For the future, he'd always say.

Bob turned the camera to his daughter, who stood quietly next to the fridge, ice cube in her hand.

"Dad," she giggled, playfully rolling her eyes as he squished her cheeks, laughing.

"Rue," he mocked. "Come on, big smile. Show the future you how happy you are!"

Rue dropped the ice cube back into the cup, a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Yeah, happy, everyone thinks she's happy. She wanted to frown or cry at the thought of it, the fact that she had absentmindedly put on such a thick mask no one could see through it, not even her dad.

However, she couldn't take it off now. It would seem like she was looking for the attention she didn't want. So instead, she put on her happiest smile for the camera before walking back to her homework.

"Put the future down and get me a clean bowl," Joyce waved him away.

Rue stared at the content couple, picking up her pencil and going back to the task at hand; Mathematics.

Minutes back into the work, her eyelids were becoming heavier, and she struggled to keep them open. Rue put the cup of ice down, leaning her head on her palm. Her cheek was pushed up by her hand as she tried to focus. Rue was tired. She was tired of a lot of things, but right now, she was tired of being awake.

She hasn't slept well lately, and most of the time, it would be a lie if she said she has not spent sleepless nights just staring off into space.

Rue didn't mean to, it just happened. If she doesn't have Baseball practice or homework or she already ate dinner. When she gets out of the shower, she sits on her bed, staring at the floor or her roof. Nothing ran through her head, her mind went blank. Nothing but the distant careless whisper that always followed her, it would be humming a song or talking about the school day from a completely different point of view than how she had spent it.

But there she was, awake, in the dark, listening to the whisper. Sometimes she feels herself falling into a dream, but there was a cold feeling that it wasn't hers. Had she fallen into someone else's dream? No, no way. She's just sleep-deprived.

"The answer's 15.4," a voice hummed in her ear, making the Rue jump.

She turned her head to see Jonathan smiling shyly at her. "Hey, Jonathan," she yawned.

"Hi, Rue," he chuckled, taking a seat beside her. "Math?"

She pouted but nodded anyway, "yeah, I suck at it."

Jonathan grinned softly. He may not be Bob's biggest fan, but he has a soft spot for Ruth, and it shows. Plus, he loved her taste in music. And the same goes for Rue. She felt like the two could talk for hours just about the newest Queen album or Madonna.

The eldest Byers' boy was warm and kind, and Rue couldn't help but feel comfortable with him. He was the first one she opened up to in Hawkins, not about everything but most things.

It was because of him that Will and Rue were close friends now, from the time the three had spent a night in the Newby's home, blasting music so loud the neighbours could hear. They didn't care, they were in a different world. Will, Jonathan and Rue were on stage in New York City, performing their newest songs in front of thousands of fans. They were jumping up and down, playing air guitars and putting so much hairspray in their hair to make it big and stand up on its own. They were Rockstars that night, and Will and Rue became inseparable.

"Movie time!" Bob and Joyce had called, and Rue was more than happy to drop behind the math homework as she and Jonathan walked to the living room.

The two families sat comfortably, watching a comedy movie. Jonathan was half asleep, Bob and Joyce laughing along to every joke, and Will and Rue sitting close to each other, not even watching the movie.

"Will, sharing is caring," Rue whined in a whisper so they won't disturb anyone. She made grabby hands like a baby, trying to get the popcorn.

"Well, I don't care." he laughed, turning away from her with the bowl, almost spilling it all.

Rue gasped dramatically and went to reach over him for it. Everyone jumped when the phone rang, turning their heads to look at the yellow telephone in the hall.

"Hey," Bob put a reassuring hand over Joyce's, who stared at the phone with terror. "It's okay, just let it ring," he said, "it's probably just a prank call."

Rue took this as a chance to take the bowl from Will's grasp. "Ha-ha!" she cheered, grabbing a handful of popcorn and stuffing it into her mouth.

"No fair," Will said, trying to pout, but his lips kept curling into a smile.

（ ₊˚. ✰┊📼 ! ）

thinking about the hellfire

club or whatever its called