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╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗

Ａｖｅｎｇｅｒｓ ＡＳＳ-ｅｍｂｌｅ🍑

Concerned father™

Bitch. Peter almost killed me

HOW DARE YOU BRING SLANDER UPON MY NAME

I JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE

Mario didn't raise no wimp

LIAR!! I was minding my own business driving to go get some Chick-fil-A when all of the sudden SPIDER-MAN comes crashing through my passenger side window and yells at me to "STEP ON IT! IM GOING TO INGDIE! MY LIFE IS IN DANGER! YOUR CHICKEN STRIPS IM BEING SHOT AT!"

👀

RIGHT SO ITS TOTALLY LOGICAL FOR YOU TO BREAK INTO MY CAR WHILE IM DRIVING SO THEY CAN ALSO SHOOT AT ME YOUR ING GIRLFRIEND

Idk run

NEWS FLASH!! YOU'RE A SUPERHERO

SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP

So there I was driving as fast as my 2013 Ford Escape could go with a low tire down the crowded streets of NYC because I was feeling like getting boujee Chick-fil-A

My masked vigilante boyfriend screaming like a whiny toddler in my passenger seat with glass everywhere

Being shot at by weird alien laser gun things

And that's when my life got flipped-turned upside down and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I WAS ALMOST BLASTED TO DEATH

Yeah and what about it salmonella

MY CAR GOT TOTALED, PETER

AND MY INSURANCE DOESNT COVER BEING SHOT AT BY DERANGED SUPERVILLAINS, pEtEr!!

tHANK YOU, TONY

😪

Take it in. It'll never happen again

I cAnT oUtRuN wEiRd AlIeN lAsEr BlAsT gUn ThInGs

Well guess what, PETER! I CANT OUTDRIVE WEIRD ALIEN LASER BLAST GUN THINGS

So can someone come pick me up? Peter left me in a ditch to fight the weirdos is neon purple spandex

THOR COME PICK ME UP

Oh pretty rainbow :D