《Chasing the New Girl - (Complete)》Chapter 54
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"You don't know the old me in New York. I was chubby and I had glasses and braces and I was a huge nerd. I was completely invisible at my old school and no guys ever talked to me or noticed me at all. I had a really low self esteem because of it. I felt smart but I never felt pretty in my entire life until I got that makeover. The summer before we moved here I got my braces off and started working out and eating healthy and I lost 30 pounds. Let me show you an old picture," she said pulling out her phone.
A minute later she found a picture from sophomore year of her posing with her two best friends and smiling with a mouth full of braces and black rimmed glasses. She was also chubby and going through a little phase of acne at that time.
"I can't believe I'm really showing you this picture. As embarrassing as it is I think it's the only way you'll understand."
She cringed as she handed him her phone. Austin looked at it in shock and said, "Wow Jolie. That's you?"
"Yeah. That was me sophomore year. When we moved here and you talked to me I was shocked and didn't even know how to act. I couldn't believe someone like you would want to be my friend, let alone my boyfriend. I felt like I was in a strange new upside down world here when all the best looking guys at school were fighting over me. When Mandy told me those things about you it fed right into all my insecurities and doubt that I wasn't good enough but I wanted to trust what you said. I really did."
Austin looked down for a minute and finally lifted his head and said, "I really wish you would have talked to me and told me how you were feeling. I wish you had trusted me. I told you so many times over and over how much I loved you and how beautiful I thought you were. I don't know what else I could've done to convince you."
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"No don't do that Austin. Don't blame yourself. It was all my fault that I didn't trust you and lost you. I don't blame you for breaking up with me over it because I deserved it. The way I treated you was terrible. I took everyone else's word over yours every time just because of my own insecurities convincing me that you loving me was too good to be true."
She looked down at her hands and took a deep breath in and let it out.
"I have so much trouble trusting men after my Dad cheated on my Mom. I didn't see it coming at all. I was blindsided. I thought he loved my Mom so much and they seemed really happy. In a million years I never would've thought he had been having an affair with his secretary for a year. I had looked up to him so much and wanted to be a lawyer just like him one day and then when I found out about the affair I was crushed and felt betrayed and confused. I felt like I didn't know him at all anymore," she sniffled, wiping a tear from her cheek.
"When I fell in love with you it was the best time of my life but it was also the scariest because I let my guard down and let you into my heart. I've seen my Mom get completely crushed by heartbreak and I was so scared that it was gonna happen to me."
She lifted her head and looked up into his eyes as a tear rolled down her cheek and said, "The crazy thing is, I was so paranoid that you were gonna break my heart but in the end I ended up breaking my own. Maybe I'm just too damaged and messed up in the head for a relationship. I don't want to hurt anyone else the way I hurt you. Maybe I'm just meant to be alone."
She hung her head and started to cry and Austin reached out his hand and put it on top of hers.
"No one's meant to be alone Jolie. Especially not you. You want to know why?" he asked softly.
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Jolie raised her tear-streaked face and looked into his eyes and choked out the word, "Why?" between her sniffles.
"Because you're meant to be with me," he said softly, reaching over and sliding his hand around behind her neck. He looked deep into her eyes and whispered, "I never stopped loving you."
Hearing him say that gave her butterflies in her stomach. She had missed those butterflies so much.
He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers and she closed her eyes and felt her stomach do a flip as excitement and adrenaline rushed through her. Kissing him again sent electricity through her body. Her heart started pounding faster as she kissed him back but she pulled away and looked at him, breathing hard for a second and thinking. Then she shook her head.
"I'm not good for you Austin. My head is too screwed up and you deserve better than that. You could have any woman you want. You deserve the perfect woman because you're amazing and such a good guy."
He reached up and wiped her tear away from her cheek with his thumb and said, "The only woman I want is you Jolie. If I have to tell you a million times a day for the rest of my life how much I love you for you to finally believe it, then that's what I'll do," he said softly rubbing on her cheek. "I'll do whatever it takes to earn your trust Jolie because I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. You're the one. I love you."
Tears welled up in Jolie's eyes and she whispered, "I love you too."
Austin took her hands in his and said, "I've already got an apartment lined up close to Harvard. It's really nice. It has granite counter-tops and it's really modern and has a balcony with a view of some gardens. It has a really big gym downstairs and it even has a pool to swim laps in. There's only one thing wrong with it."
Jolie looked into his eyes and hesitated before asking, "What's that?"
"I don't have a roommate. It's going to be awfully lonely there all by myself. Do you know anybody?" he asked, looking at her with hope in his eyes.
"Umm. Yeah. I think I might know someone. There's just one problem. She comes with a lot of baggage," she sniffled.
"Well lucky for her the apartment has big closets," he smiled, leaning in for another kiss.
Jolie wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him and felt happier in that moment than she ever thought possible.
She looked into his eyes and said, "These past few months have been miserable because I missed you so much. Every time I would see you in class I'd see the hurt and pain all over your face and it killed me to know that I was the reason for it. I'd get the urge to give you a hug and tell you how much I still loved you but I knew you didn't want to be with me anymore so I didn't."
She took a deep breath and let it out and said, "I know I don't deserve it but I'm so thankful for this second chance you're giving me," she sniffled. "I promise, from now on I'll trust what you say and stop worrying about what other people say. I won't let anyone else come between us ever again. I'll talk to you about things first instead of always assuming the worst and most of all I promise, from now on I'll believe you when you tell me you love me."
Austin wrapped his hands around her waist and gave her a soft kiss before looking into her eyes with his hands cupped on her cheeks. "That's what I want more than anything Jolie, for you to believe and trust me, because when I say I love you it's the most honest thing I've ever said in my life."
She smiled, still making eye contact and said, "I know Austin. I believe you. I love you too."
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