《Her Mate - Olivia (The Gray Wolves Series #1)》I Can't Lose You

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I sneak out of the doorway and close it carefully but silently behind me. I acknowledge how well shielded and soundproof the chamber is as I am subjugated by the screams, howls, and groans coming from upstairs. I heard nothing but stillness a moment before. I have shivers down my spine, and they are far from the satisfied ones just minutes ago.

My full-of-bravery self disappears slowly. I am just fucking human, and any encounter could be the demise of me. The only little relief I have is that Alec hasn't marked me yet and will not die if I do. Super positive thoughts.

Brilliant, Olivia. Just a few minutes, and you already risk your life. Alec is gonna go crazy.

My mind knows that is a terrible idea. But now I'm here, I frankly don't have a choice. I'm an Alpha's daughter, and I was prepared to protect my people for years. They are in my home: I know the place better than they do. I may be more fragile, but I'm probably more ingenious, and my knowledge of the area is my greatest advantage. I just need to focus on this and forget about the possible death ending.

That's gonna be a long road to Jake. And he must be fucking scared on his own, alone. But, a four-year-old boy is in the middle of a battle, and no one knows about him but Alice, Kate, and I; I'm definitely the most qualified to join him and take him back to the safe room.

I walk as quietly as possible but still have to move quickly. I don't want to spend my day out here. I don't particularly wish to die, and if Jake was not out there, I would be far better in that secured room.

Even if I try to be as silent as possible, echoes of my steps reverberate in this old corridor, made of stones and cement. The emptiness of it makes me uneasy. There should be guards in the hallway, but there is no one else but me in the basement. This means that there are assumably enemies inside our walls already. So I concentrate on everything that can help me uncover any sign of life, friend, or enemy. I hear screams in the hall: I definitely can't go this way. Think Olivia, think. You can't go the usual way, but there is another solution that they won't know for sure.

Before I keep on my road to Jake, I come closer to the door that leads to the stairs. I pull it slowly to close it and lock it. Then, at least, if our attackers reach the door, they will be a little delayed, and it will give our warriors some time to get back here and eliminate them.

Now I am done shutting this door, I take a deep breath, and surprisingly my muscles chill. Nevertheless, my senses are still vigilant and monitor for any danger sign: we worked hard on that with Eli and my father, and I'm pretty good at reacting. I'm good at listening to detect little sounds that untrained humans would not hear.

I go to the other side of the basement straight to an old depository room. I move some containers, and here it is: Eli and I's secret passage. I open a little trap, and there it is in front of me. There are stone stairs surrounded by darkness that lead right to the second floor.

"Hello, secret stairs, it's been a long time."

I've not been here since Elijah and Julie met. That was our place to hide when we were kids. We imagined we were secret agents, and we had to enter the house without being witnessed. Sam showed us the hidden stairs, and we discovered we could traverse the house without being noticed.

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But after Eli met Julie and she went to live with us, he spent most of his free time with Julie, so ... we ditched the stairs forever. Well, I thought, at least.

I may not have been here, but some creatures decided to populate the place. Spiderwebs are everywhere, dust stuck on the deadly snares. Okay, maybe not fatal for me but for small animals, for sure.

We're no small creatures. We're strong, Olivia.

My inner voice reminds me of that. We're Alpha blood, no petty bugs. So, breath in and strength back, I start my way to Jake.

I don't remember they were so slim: I have to climb carefully, and it is far less accessible than years before. Add that the place is completely dark, and you can envision how pleasant this journey is. But well, I can endure this narrowness without getting killed. I can feel the web gluing my face as I climb: that's really disgusting. I don't mind being muddy, but spiderwebs are really gross: it makes me feel like a hooked fly waiting to be eaten.

I hurry as fast as I can, doing my best not to tumble, swallow dust and insects corpses and not hit any wall: thankfully, I haven't forgotten a thing about this place, and I move my grown-up body, led by my child's memories, not that bad.

I'm almost certain no one can scent me or hear me as the walls are stout: these stairs are as ancient as the packhouse basement, and it was built 750 hundred years ago as we are one of the ancientest packs. This place is still standing despite the wars that went through ages. Wolves' smell is strong, but as this passage is thought to be secret, I guess they considered making walls averting any enemy from smelling the inside.

Nevertheless, even if I want to climb quickly, I make sure I'm quiet. Let's not take any gamble: if I die, Jake will not be rescued for sure. So run but do not rush, Olivia: that's gonna be okay.

Soon I arrive at the opposite trap, right in Eli's office. I listen through the trapdoor. The office sounds silent. When we were kids, we used to hide here when my father had meetings: we listened to what was said, mostly not frankly understanding much as it was mainly business agreements. But yet, it was fun playing little spies.

I open the door carefully and close it back behind me. The office entrance is closed, and the place is not messy: it means no one entered it since Eli left it. Good. I open the blast drawer office, hoping Eli did not change my father's habits too much. When my parents understood that I was not shifting, they ensured I could protect myself and hurt enemies if needed. As I have no wolf and no claws, my father had to find another solution for me.

I take off the paper to see the bottom. Or at least the false bottom. I take it off, and here it is. A beautiful silver knife: my beautiful silver knife. It will stop any wolf that could try to attack me. Just have to touch them - and more if they don't stop their attack. That could kill any wolf.

Not such a big deal.

Well, I really tried to convince myself. But, unfortunately, being told that this knife is here and that I can get to it in case of danger and actually taking it because we're under attack, that's crazily not the same. Right now, I'm no more a proud teenager, feeling strong because of this lethal weapon. Right now, I'm a twenty-one year undoubtfully scared puppy.

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That's gonna be fine. Just try not to cut yourself. It would be pretty ironic to die because of your weapon.

Well, at least my mind is still clowny. I may die, yes, but laughing.

Olivia, Are you okay? Kate is not answering Caleb.

Shit, Eli. And if Eli knows about me, I'm sure Alec will understand as the two of them seem to get closer as days go by. So that's your day to get the Oscar for the best liar of the year. Can this day go even worse?

Yes, Eli, we are good. She's perfect with the kids; you should see this. Don't worry and be careful: you're the one fighting these fools outside.

I close my mind. I cannot take the risk to get Alec to know I'm not safe.

Well, I escaped lying this time, but I won't always be. So sorry, Eli, but that's for your safety - and mine.

I go to the door and turn the knob: I open the door just enough to take a look. Seems like the fights are not yet up here: no sign of any living being, shattered objects, or bloody cadavers. I respire, and I run to the stairs to the third floor and dash into my bedroom: the door is wide open, and I can be a hundred percent sure that no thirsty-for-blood wolf is in there. I've never raced that quickly ever: that's fantastic how a good stimulation can make you go beyond your limits - here, not turning into a greedy wolf's snack. I extraordinarily don't want to stay here for long. I only hope Jake is right here so we can tiptoe back to the safe room and act like nothing ever happened.

Even though I have no wolf and the chamber is empty, my instinct instructs me to smell around me and check that no menace is around. So I smell and close the door behind me as I scent nothing but fear. I lock the door - yeah, I know it was useless during the first attack, but it still makes me feel better.

I go to the windows and close the curtains. Outside this is war, for real. Wolves are fighting, and it looks nothing like training: throats are ripped, blood spilled again and again. Some human bodies lay on the ground, which means they're probably shifted after their wolf died. I feel anxiousness is growing inside me. Shit. There is only one obsession growing in me: what if Jake's parents are part of them. I promised him he would see them and now... Lying to my brother is one thing. Lying to a child is not an option. My hands start to shake, and saliva gets stuck in my throat.

You can't panic right now, Liv. You have to find Jake and get your ass out of here.

Yeah, clever brain: here again to bring me back to clarity. I try to relax and breathe: I can't freak out now.

The delicate chocolate smell of Jake is close to me: good, I can focus. If I move fast once I have my little runner, we will be safe in a blink of an eye - okay, maybe a little more, but let's be optimistic. So I focus and try to find where Jake can be, following this chocolate scent: I've never noticed before he had this smell, but I know that's him.

I hear some cries in my closet. So I go in it and turn on the light.

"Jake, it's Liv. Are you here?" No answer.

I catch some breathing sounds in the wardrobe part. So I get closer and move my dresses, slowly so as not to scare him.

Jake is here, hidden between my dresses. I take him in my arms and hug him: I realize how broken-hearted I would be if anything had happened to my little escaper.

"That's okay. I'm here, Jake. That's okay." He hugs me and speaks with his soft and sobbing puppy voice. His eyes are filled with tears, and he is shaking. His face is livid, and I can without a doubt announce he is in shock.

"I just wanted to see mum and dad. I am sorry, Liv". My instincts lead me to hug him more firmly. I want to protect this kid so much: it's in my blood, this strong will to protect my pack, my puppies.

"That's okay. Shhh, don't worry. You've done nothing wrong. We're okay."

I embrace him until he calms down. Then, after two or three minutes, once he is tranquil, I take his head in my hands and look him in the eyes.

"Okay, Jake, we can't stay here; that is dangerous. I need you to trust me. Can you do that for me?" He nods, wiping his face with his sleeves.

"I'm gonna take you in my arms. I want you to hold my neck and don't let me go, no matter what. You're my little warrior, and I am your general: And what do soldiers do, soldier?" I ask him, smiling comfortingly, my hands cupping his little face.

"We obey the orders, General Liv," he answers, very proud of being called a soldier. Let's play this game if it makes him more relaxed.

"Perfect warrior. I want you to keep your eyes closed, okay?". He just grabs my neck and closes his eyes as an answer.

"Perfect, buddy. I'm gonna move, but we have to stay quiet."

Olivia, you have to stay safe. There are more and more of them, and they are trying to get to the house.

Alec is mind-linking. Shit, I thought I closed my link with Elijah. If Moon-Goddess could tell me how this thing works, I would honestly appreciate it.

I have to act reasonably so he does not suspect anything.

Okay, Alec.

I try to sound as relaxed as I can. Think about the safe room, visualize it, and that's gonna be fine. I have no reason to be nervous, if I don't lie.

Be careful. I can't wait to see you. I love you.

Done, no lies.

I love you too, Liv. If you lose, I'll be losing too. And I can't lose you.

Alec seems relieved.

Wait, what? Does he know?

One of my hands holds Jake's bottom, and he holds so tightly on me that it definitely helps. Then, with my free hand, I open the closet door. Then I get to the entrance of the room and try to listen. There are definitely many growlings and yellings, both outside and inside the house... Anger, Pain, Rage. Every emotion resounds in the packhouse and its garden.

Nevertheless, the floor seems clear: I only need a few more minutes. I open the door and get out carefully. I go to the staircase. Seems free of the enemy too. I decide to run to Eli's office: my little monkey grabs me perfectly - he's flawless in his attitude, a wonderful and bold pup. As we make it, I close the door and lock the latch.

"Okay, Buddy, you can let me go but don't open your eyes and put your hands on your ears." Jake does it without a word.

Growls are louder in the office, and I want to protect him as much as possible. He sits on the floor against Eli's desk, his hands on his ears, pressing a lot against his skull. I put the couch against the door: this thing is lighter than it seems - not that I complain. I look through the window, and this is such a mess outside. This is worse than minutes before, and I didn't think it could. Wolves are fighting everywhere, and more dead wolves lie on the ground. This is madness. My heart tightens, and I feel so sick: nausea is growing in me, and I have to fight my guts not to vomit.

I can't help worrying for Alec: I hope he is fine. I can't lose him. Please, be safe, Alec.

I focus and look at Jake: I'm almost sure I can hear his heartbeat, going wild. I need to secure this child's life. Alec is powerful: he will be fine.

I open the secret trapdoor, take Jake's hand and pull him into the passage. I close the trap carefully behind me, and we start to run down the stairs.

There is no sound to be heard, and we finally reach the end of the stairs. I open the door and then close it behind us and put some boxes in front of it: let's keep this secret passage a secret. We may need it again in the future.

Then, we run. His tiny gripping my neck as I hold him in my arms as he is my own life. I won't let anything happen to this brave puppy. His parents can be proud of him. I am. And there it is. The safe room.

"Alice opens the fucking door. I've got him." I almost scream as I hit the door.

The door opens, and Kate grasps Jake to employ her Reader's power on him. I'm about to take a deep inhalation before I enter the room. But my lungs shrink, and the air is missing; my heart is shattering. A tremendous amount of pain submerges me, and my body sags as unendurable misery consumes me. Finally, I fall to the ground, eyes filling with despair and awe.

Elijah is hurt.

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