Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

For this plan to be successful, Vini and Enzo would need professional help. And by "professional help" they meant advice from the proper female gender. After all, the problem was not only to look like a woman, but to behave like one. Therefore, the duo needed to rely on some help.... Unknown. The two had no other option but to call Russia, Italy, and Belgium, that is three of the Europa sisters, to help them pass as two young women who had just recently joined the neighborhood. What possibly could go wrong? As it turned out, a hell of a lot, pretty much all of it.

The first to come out of the sisters' wardrobe was Enzo, wearing a long red halter top, pearl earrings, and a tiara. For some reason, which must have been quite fair, he felt no comfort in the bottom part of the dress. To paraphrase the four-time champion Sebastian Vettel at the Brazilian Grand Prix, something was also swinging between his legs, apart from the obvious. Seeing him coming out of the closet, without any other intonation for that statement, Vini did his best to hold back his laughter, while Belgium, Italy and Russia did not make such an effort.

- If you smile, I'll drop you from the eleventh floor! - Enzo said to Vini, specifically.

- You look so beautiful!

- Fuck you, Vini! I look like an ugly lesbian! This is an stupid plan, planned by an immense imbecile, which is you.

- Relax, it will work out fine. And you never wondered what it was like being female?

- Of course not! I'm already feeling very odd. For example, with this dress covering my legs, I can't see...

- Your sneakers?

- Yes! Good God, how on earth women walk without looking at their own feet?

- You get used to that. - Italy answered.

- Get used my ass! It's going to be a bitch going up and down stairs around here. Imagine on the moving escalator! Can you imagine if I step on the dress and stumble? I could die in the dumbest way possible!

- Oh, boo-hoo. Stop being such a drama queen. - Russia had no sympathy for him. - You sound like you're going to be in character for a long time.

Enzo and Vini exchanged a look. It made perfect sense.

- Oh, damn. You're going to be in character for a long time!

- Yeah. Get in the closet, Vini! And don't come out until I say so. - Enzo stopped and thought about what he just had said. - Weird sentence.

Vini followed Belgium into the closet and left Enzo with the other two sisters alone. There was no need to be alarmed, even though the Universe was giving indications to the contrary. About twenty minutes later, Vini showed up, even more handsome, in a blue strappy dress with black polka dots, already wearing his makeup and heels.

- Holy smokes. - Enzo lamented. - We're so fucked.

- I still don't know what you guys are going to do. - Belgium commented. - What's the matter?

- Exactly. That's what we want to know.

- Correction. That is what Vini wants to know. - Enzo clarified.

- And pretending to be a woman will help to find out whatever it is?

- Well, we could be janitors at the club, but Enzo doesn't know how to hold a broom.

- I'll tell you what I can hold, you fool.

- Cut the bullshit. - said Italy. - This is the most ridiculous nonsense. Unless you drug everybody in the club or the IQ there is lower than your own age, there's no way you idiots can pretend to be women. No one in their senses will actually fall for this.

- That's the way I like it. - Enzo commented. - Motivation at the bottom shit.

- Are you suggesting that we can't be women? - Vini asked.

- Am I speaking Greek? That's exactly what I'm saying!

- Because I suspect that you are afraid that we are better women than you are.

- Oh, absolutely. - Russia laughed. - We're frightened of your heels and your ugly dress.

- But they're your own clothes! - Vini replied.

- How can we behave like women without being too conspicuous?

- Don't you know? You need to show your hatred. I hate men and they all have to suffer a slow and painful death! - Enzo made a forced dramatization.

- I said women, not Hitler.

- Let's face it, Vini, we're both fucked. How are we supposed to pretend to be women if we barely know how to be a girl?

- You wouldn't last five minutes. PMT, body changes, pregnancy, menstruation...

- Is that when your pee turns red?

- Gross, Enzo!

- Just make sure you look as feminine as possible. - Belgium suggested. - And in your case it means being something completely else. Wear lots of perfume and be polite.

- Like yourself?

- Please don't follow Belgium's example. Unless you want to turn into a Barbie.

- I don't bother. - Enzo said.

- Neither do I. - Vini agreed. - She's pretty badass. She drives a Fiat 500, has a trillion different jobs, and has a lot of style. She's James Bond, but without the guns and the Aston Martin.

- Let me correct you. - Italy said. - I think you both are fully capable of being women. You just need a little more femininity. And we have the solutions.

You do?

- Do you?

- Of course, dear. - Russia stepped up to Enzo's face, almost kissing him. - You just have to believe us.

- How weird would it be for some of you to kiss someone with lipstick on?

- Do you have to think bollocks all the freaking time?