Kilkaja

George saved my life, and I was grateful for it. But I felt like I was burdening him.

But then, what could I do? If I went on my own, I would not even survive. This was the first time I've ever been on a heavily forested planet and all I had were my clothes and my empathic sense. If I did not know how to feel their emotions, we might be dead right now. George was a better fighter than me, and he clearly showed that.

However, George was a kind person. He did not blame me despite my shortcoming. Maybe the other member of his race...uh, hu-man, were as kind? I wouldn't count on that. George did tell me that Earth was just like any other planet: some were kind, some were jerks, and some were just plain evil. For him, that made things more interesting. I might need to learn more than just reading emotions.

The planet we were in was rather humid and hot to the point I took off my cloak. I wasn't really wearing much, only a cloak over a pair of shorts. It was how Nuoevans usually clothed...well, the free ones, anyway. The slaves did not even wear anything except the minimum to cover their genitals or whatever their master gave them. For me, it was a rather new feeling to be covered with clothes.

Then I realized there were a lot more problems I unintentionally gave to George. I was a former Nuoevan slave with no knowledge to defend myself except sensing emotions, in addition to being photosensitive. I could not see anything if was too bright, and that was the situation then. It was in the middle of the day and we surfaced somewhere far from where we started in the middle of the river, where there were no trees. George realized this and guided me towards a more shaded area in the forest nearby, where I could finally open my eyes. I really should consider getting sunglasses for this.

But then, I realized something. My eyes could not find them, but my empathic sense could. I was the only one who would be able to know if we were being attacked or not in advance, as George reminded me of it when we were drying our clothes. The thought being depended upon felt rather overwhelming at first. I never had this kind of experience happened to me before. However, George's presence and his assurance that we'd be fine were...rather inspiring. George had given me some good talk about believing myself, and for the most part, I believed.

Thus, I concentrated. If I sense a sliver of emotion, any emotions, I could simply warn George. His gun-sword was always on the ready. I could try and help, but I felt that I would only cause him trouble, so I stick with what I do best: find the enemies first.

While we walked, George concentrated on both my warning and the pathfinder device. Our mission was to assess the situation. We could just get back to the ship and hope the others could meet us there. However, we could also get to the colony's coordinate since it was closer. There was a chance that the colony would be a base of hostiles, given its abandoned status. I trusted George's judgement and his own assured heart. His emotions were calm and sure, which in turn gave me a sense of safety.

As we walked through the forest, we could hear noises of fights and energy weapons being shot. I could even sense a variety of emotions, ranging from fear to anger and even acceptance before being abruptly cut off. I knew the owner of that emotion died. I wanted to think that he died peacefully, but being a Nuoevan, I also knew that he suffered until the end.

"We clearly got ourselves too involved," said George. "Have you ever heard about the Saukauri?"

"You're asking the wrong person," I said. "I am...was...a slave."

"Yeah. Sorry," he said. "Just stay close to me and tell me if we're near someone."

I nodded. I trusted George and I hoped he knew that I could not fight. I felt so useless, but what could I do?

We were trying our best to stay alert and silent. We wouldn't want to draw anyone to our position. George even said that he'd prefer stay out of the Saukauri business, knowing that they had interfered by landing the planet. However, that was if things went according to plan. It wasn't .

As we walked, either one of us triggered something that caused something to fall from the trees. I screamed in surprise and jumped to George's back.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "Calm down. It's dead."

I looked at it again and he was right. The thing was a humanoid body. I sighed in relief and climbed down George's back, embarrassed. So much for trying not to be a burden.

"You climb on someone when you're startled?" asked George.

"No...," I said while looking away. "That thing surprised me."

"I could compare you to a cat," he said. "But then we already got a Felinian, so it's not a good comparison."

I did not know what a 'cat' was, and George did not bother to tell me. I would find out later, though.

Recovering from the shock, I checked the dangling body. It was a reptilian humanoid with the head of a snake. George looked at it and said, "A cobra? So, this is a Saukauri." He seemed to be talking to himself and get to the conclusion that the body was a Saukauri. The body was rather unnerving to look at, even if it was reptilian and not a Nuoevan. I'd freak out if it was a Nuoevan.

"How can you act so calm in front of a dead body?" I said.

"Because unlike the others, this snake-headed Lizan or whatever you called it is dead. It can't attack us."

That sounded like a logical response. Still, the fact that the reptilian was dead still unnerved me. I had seen death, and it wasn't pleasant.

We got into another surprise when I felt someone owning a particularly strong emotion ran towards us. I tried to warn George, but he was already alerted by the noise of bushes rustling as this unknown person came. He implored me to get behind him as the head of the person came out of the bushes, pointing at us with his...wrist?

Like the dead Saukauri, this one also had a snake head complete with a hood. His yellow reptilian eyes glared at us as he kept whatever his weapon was fixated on us. I could also see that he was rather tribal looking, given that he wore a rather revealing armor that did not cover much of his body except parts that might compromise him, such as his groins and his chest. The rest were left bare, showing off his green scales.

"What the hell?" he said, surprised. "Who the fuck are you?!"

"I can ask you the same question, too, Saukauri," said George.

"It's Saukaur," he corrected. "You're not supposed to be here. This planet is a war zone."

"How the hell should we know? Is there a sign up there in space?"

"A sign? What...oh. Yeah, that's anyone's fault by this point. Sorry."

"One question. Are you going to be a friend or a foe?"

"Does it matter? You two are clearly outsiders and you got yourselves involved. Come on, follow me."

I could sense his emotions. Like us, he did not trust us the slightest. He was clearly expecting us to jump at him. Knowing that it would be a problem, a walked in front of George and said, "We're not your enemies, Saukaur. We have no intention in causing you harm."

"Says who?" he said.

"Someone who knows that you don't trust us," I said, mustering my courage. "We can't think of each other as enemies. Trust us."

The Saukaur was confused with my actions, but he sighed and said, "Just follow me and don't wander off."

He seemed to trust us a little after that, though not completely. I felt like I was helping, somehow. It was part of what I'm good at: sensing emotions.

Walking through the forest in full alert seemed to strain both of their concentrations. I could feel how they were feeling: fear, but also determination to survive. I wondered how they could be strong if they were scared. Why scared if you could act like you know how to fight? Was that the quality needed to survive?

Curious, I approached George and asked him why, to which he said, "Fear gives us the incentive to survive. If we don't have any fear, we're nothing but suicidal idiots who throw lives like they're an object. That's what my foster parent used to say."

"Foster...parent?"

"I lost my real parents back during a devastating war on my world," he said. "I was one of many orphans adopted by kind Order members who understood our plight. Well, it also had an effect on how I grew up. It's pretty much why I wanted to be a dragon rider so bad. I wanted to fly with them."

"Isn't that why ships are invented?" I said.

"Ships may have personality, but they are not living beings. Dragons and wyverns are and flying with them give them a familiar feeling, especially since they don't usually follow your words and have their own temper. Some would argue that it can also apply to machine enthusiasts, but for me, I prefer a more colorful one, something with more personality than just a pre-programmed one. Except I don't really go with horses. They don't talk to you."

"That's one hell of a world, huh?" said the Saukaur. "I wonder. What's your race?"

"Human."

"Not something I ever heard before," he said.

"I get that a lot. It's pretty much a thing at this point. I'm not part of your group of space people."

The Saukaur contemplated a bit, before he said, "Ah. Pre-space. Guess that explains that weird sword."

"It's not weird. It's conventional."

Their banter seemed to ease things up a bit, which eased mine too. The drawback of being an empath was that you also sensed their emotions as if they were yours. But sometimes, that drawback could be an advantage, such as this moment.

At this point, I had no training on how to stop my empathic sense to overwhelm my emotions, or even any psychic powers drawn from suffering. I could sense the suffering of the combatants in the forest, and I could feel my mind clearer as they fought, but I had no way to utilize them. I had just been freed from the dampening collar and I was learning myself from the start. Everything felt new for me.

We walked and walked through the forest, still in full alert. The Saukaur helped us avoid conflicts whenever possible, ordering us to get down and hide when he saw fighting. After it was clear, he quickly told us to follow him.

"How long has this war been going?" asked George.

"Not long. Only a week or so," said the Saukaur. "This planet is a strategic point where we can set up a forward base against the coalition. I really wish the Felinians could help us, but they are being caught up somewhere else and we lost our supplies early in the fight. We need to hold on until reinforcement comes."

"You're at war with the Felinians?" I asked.

"We were, but our faction has been trying to end it. Not everyone agrees on that, though. Hence this fight," he said. "And something that you're not supposed to be involved in."

"We'd love to, but we have a reason to be here," said George. "Have you seen an abandoned colony somewhere in the forest? Presumably Vyrnian?"

"That's our base," said the Saukaur.

"Found anything interesting in there?"

"If there is, only Vyrnians can access them," said the Saukaur. "We have been trying to make a makeshift comm to contact our ship, but given that it's Vyrnian, we have no luck."

"We...might be able to help," I said. "When we got here, we...didn't know that there's a fight going on. I...well, I got myself caught in the mine. We got separated as we were attacked."

"You're lucky you still got your legs," said the Saukaur. "The mines they use can bypass some shield and kill you instantly. Guess your Vyrnians are that good, huh?"

We wanted to say that a Felinian was involved, but before that could happen, he told us to get out of sight again. A Saukaur patrol passed by us, hissing. They were rather tense and alert, much like us.

After it was clear, the we continued on. I could see that he was walking towards the colony and we were getting closer and closer to it, according to our pathfinder device. Before long, we finally got into a clearing, where he stopped us from going further.

"Wait here," he said.

He walked forward, slowly. At this point, I could see his tail, which was tipped with some rattle that was rattling rapidly, giving out a distinctive noise that sounded like a garden sprinkler. I once worked as an assistant gardener and not knowing about the sprinkler, I got myself soaked. Well, given my status as a slave, I was not wearing anything, and the supervisor did not care. I was forced to continue working still soaked. It was not a good memory, as that day was chilly.

I could hear the noise again, this time coming from the middle of the clearing where we could see several buildings, presumably the colony. I felt relieved, knowing it was a safe place. Even then, there's a stifling tension in the air. Everyone on that colony was tense and alert.

"Come," said the Saukaur. "Follow me. They'll know you're with me."

"So, you're a cobra and a rattlesnake?" said George. I did not understand what he meant, and neither did the Saukaur.

"What?" he said in confusion.

"Well, on my planet, you look like those venomous snakes," said George. "Except you're human-sized and you have limbs."

"Then it's easier to explain what we are to you, then," said the Saukaur. "For a pre-space, you sure feel like home out here, huh?"

"I really hope so."

As we walked closer and closer to the colony, we were met with another Saukaur who looked just like the Saukaur that saved us. At first, I thought they were identical, given that I did not know how to differentiate one Saukaur with another. It turned out they were identical, down to their height, appearance, and even eye color.

This Saukaur greeted the one who guided us. He then said, "Seth! By Ap, I thought I lost you!"

"I gave you a promise, didn't I, Ash? We will get out of this together."

"I really hope I shared your optimism right now, bro." He then leaned over and looked at us. "Who are they?"

"Explorers. Didn't know the planet's off limits."

"Things have been so fucked up that no one bothered to put up a sign," said Ash with a sigh. "From the look of it, the cream-skinned know how to fight, but the Nuoevan does not. Well, does it matter?"

The other Saukaur then beckoned us to come in. "Follow us," he said.

"Thanks," said George as we walked with them.

"Anyway, I'm Astha," said Ash. "Volunteer. My brother's too. His name's Sethis."

Sethis nodded with a grunt.

"Is it just me, or are you two...?"

"Identical? Yup. We hatched from the same big egg," said Astha. "Identical twins."

"But different in many aspects," said Sethis.

"Yet reliable to each other," finished Astha.

I did not understand twins, but I could sense that their minds were linked. It's like a very low-level psychic link that only gave them a sense of connection and an unconscious communication between them. I guessed that's the reason why they looked identical and managed to finish each other's sentences.

"Anyway, we are what's left of the volunteer group," said Astha. "We're pretty much relegated to reserve at this point."

"Or cannon fodder," said Sethis. "Any luck?"

"Like I said," said Astha. "Unless anyone's eight feet tall with wings and a little knowledge with holographic interface, we're fucked."

"And these guys claimed that they come with Vyrnians," said Sethis. He turned towards us and said, "Whatever you need to do to call your Vyrnian friends, do it now."

"Movement in the forest!" exclaimed one of them. The rest quickly went to position and pointed their wrist-mounted gun towards the forest. I wasn't sure what happened, but George seemed to know what to do. He approached Sethis and said, "Your enemies?"

"No. There's no rattle," said Sethis. "It's not even a Saukaur."

"Eight feet tall with wings?" said George.

"No. Same height as you and me."

I was the first to know what Sethis was talking about. The only other person in our group that's roughly our size was a Felinian.

"Sel," I said. "George, it could be Sel."

"There's only one way to find out," said George before he proceeded to shout, "Sel! Is that you?!"

There was a delay before we heard a feminine voice replying to George's call.

"Atmell?" shouted Sel's voice.

"It's alright!" said George. He turned to Sethis and said, "Let me get her."

"I'm going with you."

I could only watch as they approached the source of Sel's voice slowly. I could sense a scared and tense person within the forest approaching George and Sethis. Before long, I could see Sel's bright eyes from the darkness of the forest. However, when she saw Sethis, she quickly brandished her rifle, prompting Sethis to do the same with his wrist gun. Her emotion quickly changed to hate, taking me off guard.

"Get away from the Saukaur, Atmell!" she shouted.

"Whoa, wait!" said George. "He saved us!"

"I don't take chances with a Saukaur! Where are the others?"

"Kilkaja's with me," said George. "Sel, he's a friendly. Just lower your weapon. Please."

"We're not with the coalition, Felinian," said Sethis. "We're your allies."

"Oh, I know your civil war, Saukaur. I am fully aware of that. But, do you really think I am going to forgive you for destroying my life in the first place?!"

"Look," said George, trying to defuse the situation. "Whoever wronged you in the past are clearly not these Saukaurs."

"You don't understand, George."

"I get the idea, so calm down," said George. "We are in the middle of the battlefield. They are ready to shoot anyone and anything, including a hostile Felinian. You won't gonna survive this, so don't provoke them. Please."

George was right. Words could be the best weapon, even better than punches and swords. I could sense Sel's erratic emotions started to mellow out, but I could still sense a constant anger as she looked at Sethis, who looked at her with confusion. I guessed something did happened in the past between Sel and the Saukaurs. Something traumatic.

I quickly walked towards her. She looked at me and her expression changed again, this time to relief. I found myself being hugged by her rather tightly, but not too tight to the point of choking me.

"You're fine," she said with a sigh. "I'm...I'm so glad."

"George saved me," I said.

"Yeah. I know how reliable he is." Sel turned and looked at Sethis, who was talking to one of his comrades. I could feel her emotions started to boil again, but I kept it cool.

"It's no use being angry to them," I said. "They're also afraid."

Sel wanted to say something, but then relented and instead said, "I'll...tell you about my history with the Saukaurs one day. Just...let me stay away from them. Looking at those serpents make uncomfortable."

I understood. Anything traumatic would not work well for her and seeing the Saukaurs did not help.

She called George and told us to walk somewhere within the colony, away from the Saukaurs and where we could safely talk. After she had determined that we were out of earshot, she said, "What happened to you? How did you stumble upon them?"

"We were forced to jump into the water to lose them," I said. "It was freezing cold and I was blinded by the bright daylight."

"Sethis helped us get out of sight. I did not know why he was out here, but he was willing to risk his lives to get us here. And before you say anything, no. Even if he's a snake, I know he's not malicious."

"You don't know what I had gone through, Atmell," said Sel, who seemed rather vulnerable. "You just don't."

"And I got the idea, Sel," said George, trying to calm her. "So, whatever you do, don't antagonize them too much. We finally got to our objective and it's the safest place around here. Now, I know you'll hate this, but we need their help again."

"For what?" said Sel.

"Arcturus and Zarya," said George. "Or, have you forgotten about them?"

"We were...separated. I couldn't find my way. I lost my pathfinder device when I was ambushed by some of the soldiers. I managed to get away, but I did not know where they could be."

"And it's getting dark soon," said George as he looked up to the sky. "I can use my pathfinder to find them, but no one knows this forest better than those Saukaurs."

Sel sighed. I felt like she wanted to say something, presumably something to try and dissuade George from asking the Saukaurs for help. She clearly felt that arguing with someone who did not know about her past was pointless, so she simply shrugged and said, "Do whatever you want. Just...let me stay out of this."

"Yeah. Take care of Kilkaja for me, will you?" he said.

George seemed to know it was for the best. Every time Sel looked at one of those Saukaurs, she started to show how much she hated them and how uncomfortable she was around them. The fact that I could sense her emotions made me feel her pain. She was clearly not that good in hiding it.

Then, as she struggled to control herself, her hatred opened a traumatic past that was once hidden. A past that was full of suffering, hate, and humiliation. She clearly had a good reason to hate Saukaurs, but unless she talked to us about it, we could not help her. I wanted to help her, but I also felt that she did not really want to talk about her past, especially not to me.

As George talked with Sethis, one of the Saukaurs found us. Sel turned away as she saw him, leaving me to talk with the Saukaur.

"Hey, we got some food from our hunt," he said. "Wanna join us?"

I turned to Sel, who simply do not want to see the Saukaur. I sighed and said, "I guess I'm hungry."

"Is she...okay?"

"Leave her be," I said sympathetically. "Things have been rough for her. I'll...go back later, Sel."

Sel did not reply or make a gesture, leaving me to follow the Saukaur and joined the others for a hearty meat soup. I never thought I'd eat a warm food made from fresh ingredients. It was rather...warming. The Saukaurs were also friendly enough to talk to me, even though one of them admitted to be rather uncomfortable around a Nuoevan due to...well, due to our way of drawing power.

The day slowly turned to dark as I took one of the bowl full of soup back to Sel, who was cleaning the energy rifle she was carrying and checking the charge. I tapped her shoulder and said, "I got you a bowl. Eat some. It's good."

Good thing her aversion towards Saukaurs did not extend to her hatred of their food. She clearly had no problem taking the bowl from me. As she slowly ate the soup, she said, "Don't worry about me. Just...talk to them. I'm fine."

"Sel, I..."

"It's not going to be a problem. They're kind enough to let you eat their food. I...can't. I just can't. Those reptiles' faces are hard to look at."

"Are you going to be alright?"

"Yeah," said Sel with a shaky, forced smile. Her emotions were so erratic that even smiling was an effort. I just nodded and slowly walked away from her. She returned to her rifle and the soup, and while she was doing them, I felt her emotions. It was that of sadness mixed with pain.

I walked back to the Saukaur group and met Astha, who had just finished doing his rounds. He stumbled upon me and said, "I really need another race to talk to, and you happen to be one."

"Where's George?"

"Making a plan to find your other friends," he said. "Seth's good at that, and I trust him. Your human friend's also reliable enough. Can't say the same with your Felinian friend, though."

"She's been through a lot," I said, even though I did not know what she had gone through.

"Yeah, I can see that. She seems to have a bad past with us. I don't know what, but I don't really want to talk to her about it. She might not even want to."

"I can sense something beyond her hatred," I said. "Something dark and full of suffering."

"Oh, right. Natural-born sadists," said Sethis with a smile. "That's what you are, right?"

"Can't deny that. We are also empaths, if you want to know," I said, feeling confident about it. "But no. Knowing her, she wouldn't have any kind of emotional trauma from those kinds of death. No, this felt very personal, and something that she does not want to talk about lightly."

"I have an idea of what it is, but I don't want to be wrong," said Astha. "This is a big galaxy. Life shapes us in many ways, and things might not even be right. Things have not been right for us ever since we got ourselves into this mess. Volunteers, my ass. All they want are sacrificial meat so they can work their kinks out."

"Is it...really that bad?"

Astha sighed. "Bad, good. Does it even matter? All that matters are whether we will see another day. The war has turned into something of a chaos. Families are torn apart. Friends become enemies. It even forced them to show their true faces. I am lucky to have my bro at my side. Being twins make it easier to connect and understand each other. Others? Not so much. Our group's close because we all want was to get the hell out of this fucking planet, and just live to see another day."

"I...think I understand," I said.

"It's not too hard to understand," said Astha. "Even outsiders like you know life and death, right?"

"And I know emotions, so I know more than just life and death," I said. Wow, I was boasting. I was really boasting about myself.

"Yeah, well, empaths know more, right?" said Astha. "So, about this colony. I heard from the human. Is there really information regarding the Vyrnians?"

"Something was transmitted here on the final days of the Exodus," I said. "They felt that it might be very important."

"I know the Exodus. Saukaurs maintained a close relationship and respect towards Vyrnians, but that's only because they gave us an ultimatum not to bring the war to us. Not sure what's the formal words are, but they're serious about it."

From the look of it, their war was too chaotic for the Vyrnians to even try to help. In fact, I believed that they tried to help, but the Saukaurs either betrayed that trust, or they were beyond help. I really wanted to imagine how the serpent alien could cause the Vyrnians so much trouble while they were only wearing tribal clothes and armor, compared to what the Vyrnians were wearing.

I wanted to talk with Astha more about the Saukaurs as I was curious about their ways and the history of their civil war, but I somehow doubted Astha knew more than what he could tell me. And besides, he was rather busy, so I decided to just leave him alone and let him return to his job.

The other Saukaurs seemed to be rather kind towards me and some of them asked why I was even here on the planet. I could not answer many of their questions, so they did not bother asking about it and just tell me to try and stay positive. One of them even knew who I was when he said, "Make your freedom count". They saw several visible scars on my neck, a clear indication that I was wearing a tight collar that dug through my skin. I did not have any good answer for that except a rather halfhearted 'yeah'. Without anything to talk about, I just go back to Sel, who was still sulking. The darkness in her heart and her suffering made me uncomfortable. I could not just ignore someone who's distressed. It's not right.

When I returned to her, she had finished the bowl she ate and had started to try and relax. She was still tense and uncomfortable being near the Saukaurs that I felt that she might start to panic. I knew that I was the only one around that could try and comfort her, so I did.

"How's the soup?" I asked.

"It's...decent," she said. "But it's enough to fill me for the night."

"Oh...that's good, I guess."

We sat side by side in silence before she started talking.

"Do you...think that I'm going too far?" she said. "I was going to kill that Saukaur unprovoked. That was very stupid of me."

"You did not pull the trigger," I said. "You have all the chance to do it, but you did not. That shows me that you still know control."

"It's good if you feel that way," she said.

"I know what you feel, Sel. But, without proper training, I cannot even control what I can and cannot feel. It's starting to overwhelm me with emotions."

"Did you...sense something inside me?"

"I know you're suffering."

"You can sense suffering. My suffering," said Sel with a sigh.

"What did the Saukaurs do to you?"

"A lot of things," said Sel short. "Things that hurt my pride...and things that made me realize space is cruel."

"Why did they do it?"

"Because they could," said Sel short. "It was shortly after I left my family to pursue my own path. I got involved with some Saukaurs that were frustrated. I was...just that unfortunate."

The feeling of pain and traumatic past started to pour out of her. It started to overwhelm me as I felt tears swelling in my eyes. Sel noticed this and said, "I'm sorry. I did not mean to..."

"No, I'm fine," I said with a sniffle. "I understand. Please, don't stop. You need this more than I do."

Sel sighed. "Thank you," she said, before she continued.

"The worst thing is, I couldn't even fight back. I wasn't as well-trained as I am now, and I was still young back then. Michl's crew was not even around when it happened. Of course, I tried to exact revenge, but before I could, they were gone. I wandered the sectors to find them, and back then I felt that joining a pirate crew would give me more chance to do so. Of course, my aversion towards the Saukaurs cost me the respect I needed to stay with Michl. Michl herself understood my plight, but she cared more about money than the crew's welfare. Getting involved with her was the start of everything...including meeting Zarya's crew. I've...never been involved with the Saukaurs as much as I am now. I really wish I could just try and run back to the ship, but I know it's stupid. I can also tell that Atmell might not like it, either. All I do is run away from all my problems, thinking that it's going to go away. But I just can't get over it. I just...can't."

At this point, I felt her outpouring could start to drown me. The emotions I felt and her attempt to suppress it was enough to cause me to start being overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions, ranging from sadness, fear, regret, and most prominent of all, hatred. Accompanying all that was the psychological suffering of a traumatized Felinian. I knew this sounded so wrong, but I could feel my mind started to clear, and even expand. I felt like I could do a powerful psychic ability against our enemies. However, it was at the expense of Sel, which was the reason why I felt it was wrong.

So, disregarding all the mix of emotions and even her suffering, I tried to calm her down, both for myself and her.

"I...can't pretend to understand why you act like this," I said. "I may know your emotions and your traumatic past, but I did not experience it firsthand. However, I can tell you this. Not all of them are bad. Even Nuoevans are not all bad."

"I tried to think about it that way, but every time I see those reptiles, I...I feel like I am going to take a gun and shoot their faces to get them away from my sight." Sel then sighed. "And until now, I can't even trust myself to sleep near a Saukaur. No matter how much you convince me otherwise, I can't see past their reptilian visage. All I see...is my vulnerability."

For the first time since I've known Sel, she shed a tear. She started to lose her attempt to act strong. And from that, she started to feel her own past, apparently remembering why she was involved with us in the first place, and the suffering she endured to be the Felinian that she was now. Of course, I never felt better. My mind was clear. However, I also knew that this was wrong. It felt more like a drug than genuine satisfaction. If I did not control it, it could become an addiction, and I would be no better than those who tortured and enslaved me.

Thus, ignoring the refreshing feeling, I hugged Sel. She was surprised by this. I could tell. However, the Felinian understood what I was trying to do, and slowly accepted my hug. I could sense her suffering slowly dissipated along with the expanding psychic ability. I did not care. All I wanted was to see her comforted, so that I would feel fine, too. It did work, given how her emotions changed. Along with that, she also started crying silently.

"No one have ever hugged me like that," said Sel while wiping her tears. "It felt so...foreign to me, yet so comforting. But...why? It's against what the Nuoevans are, right?"

"I know it feels great. But...it's nothing but a lie. I don't want to see you sad, Sel. My heart...and my empathic link...won't permit it. I'd prefer to see you smile...than to see you suffer."

Sel then smiled. "You really are a different Nuoevan, Kilkaja. If I met you a long time ago, my life would be different. It's a little late, but I'm glad it's not too late."

"You and me both."

By then, I could feel a growing emotion; the emotion of love. It started to replace all her other emotions and it...it felt so great. It's like a light in the darkness of this world, even stronger than the suffering of others. It's full of warmth.

Still, even with all that outpouring of emotions, I was still worried with our situation, and also with Arcturus and Zarya. I talked to her about this, and she said, "I know they won't be killed that easily. George and the Saukaurs will find them."

That remark made me glad for many reasons, though primarily, it was the start of her own way to let the past go...and embrace the future.

Before long, exhaustion started to take us. The clearing had a rather comfortable grass to sleep on, and the night was pretty warm. Sel started to sleep, too, and she wanted me to hug him. I complied, trying to make her comfortable despite of my lack of fur and the sharp claws I had.

It felt like hugging a fur pillow. Her fur-covered body was so soft and fluffy, calming me as my worries slowly went away. I focused on Sel's emotions, her body, and her face. Seeing her feline face sleeping so calmly made me feel calm, too. She looked so cute and beautiful...and calm.

I felt so comfortable embracing and feeling her soft fur, along with hearing her purr that I felt my eyes becoming so heavy. Before long, I went to sleep.