#26

"Come back"

A voice boomed in my head and my body jerked up with my mouth open with a big gasp. What the fuck happened?

I maniacally looked around and saw Rika sitting right next to me. Looking calm and composed, as she always does.

"You.. wait.."

I brought my hands onto my throat – I remember the last scenes before I blacked out. I was sure, Rika had a knife, and she slit my throat. I was bleeding. I was dying – no. I actually died. But now I felt nothing in my throat. My skin was intact. Nothing had been cut.

"What happened? Did I fall asleep? Fuck, it's like I had the craziest dream ever!"

"It wasn't a dream"

"huh?"

"I killed you. You were dead. And I brought you back"

"What?!" – how was one supposed to react to something like this?

"I don't know if you should count yourself lucky, or cursed. But you came back from death, unlike the girl and the man you killed before"

Fuck, she knew. How, why?

"Not that it was your own doing. I brought you back from death"

"Sorry, I'm extremely confused. Could you please explain..?"

She chuckled and continued.

"Well, you almost killed me too. Remember you dropped on my head?"

"er.. yes, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.."

"Stop fucking saying that!" Rika snapped.

"hugh… I'll calm down and explain. You broke my neck. I should have died. Any normal human being WOULD have died"

"But… you survived..?"

"Yes. I told you you can't kill me"

"We've had this conversation before... you are something else, aren't you? You are… immortal?"

"You fool. I will say this again. YOU can't kill me. Not again. Never again"

"I'm still confused.. maybe I have a concussion? Is all this real?"

"It depends on the way you look at it. But I will save that explanation until later"

"I'm completely lost. I don't understand anything at all"

"You don't need to. At least not for now. Just trust me and do as I say from now on"

"er… ok?"

"I will say this just once. Get it engraved on the inside wall of your thick skull – don't die. Don't you ever dare to die. Only I can take your life, and bring you back"

As I sat there still puzzled, I noticed she sneakily took out a dagger from somewhere and was adjusting her grip on it on her side – oh shit, not again...

This time she stabbed the knife right into my chest, shoving the blade between my ribs and puncturing my heart in an instant. It was fucking painful. And all went black. Man. This is getting old quickly.

Predictably, I woke up soaked in sweat. I don't know how much time has passed, but I was in my room. Things were starting to make a little sense, although it was crazy to believe this could actually happen – coming back from death? And Rika has power to do that? But why only me?

I took out my phone from my pocket to check what time it was. It was close to midnight and I saw that I had an unread message.

"Come meet me at the rooftop after school tomorrow"

Right. I trust you this time. It is Rika.

The next day after school I was walking up the stairs leading to the rooftop again. I have done this a few times now, but I guess things are different this time. I reach the end of the stairs and the door was still closed. Rika's maybe not here yet, so I opened the door and step out.

"Sike! Motherfucker!" – oh fuck not again

I felt something hard whack me on the back of my head and I drop like a rock onto the concrete ground. Gees, I won't die from this but this hurts nonetheless.

I see the blonde delinquent dickhead standing there with a baseball bat over his shoulders with a big grin on his face.

"How..? what..?"

"That was for Rika" – I knew what he was going to say next

"And this one's from m-" he lifted the bat to swing it down on me again

"Stop. That's enough" oh, now, this is Rika's voice

"Meh, you spoil the fun"

"Maybe there will be next time"

"I hope so. This is fun"

"Now get out"

"Yes, my lady", the dickhead theatrically bows his head and walked down the stairs.

"Get up"

"Hell, you asked him to do this to me again?"

"Yeah"

"What's the fucking point?! I now know you can kill me and bring me back. Were you trying to get him to kill me to prove that he can't kill me or what?"

"Nah, it was just for fun. Let's say it's a running joke"

"For fuck's sake, this joke ain't funny"

"Oh, and don't get it wrong. You CAN get killed, and you won't come back"

"Huh?"

"I can bring you back to life only if it was me that killed you"

"I don't know what to think or believe anymore"

Rika just smiled and walked towards the fence of the roof, the sun was setting down bleeding the beautiful red onto the sky.

I just followed her quietly and stood next to her, looking out to the sky as she was doing.

"It's beautiful here isn't it", Rika broke the silence

"Yes"

"We used to do this a lot"

"Huh?"

"You, me. Long long time ago"

"That doesn't make sense. Nothing you have been saying makes any sense"

"Consider yourself lucky. Nobody explained anything to me ever. I had to figure it all out myself. All alone. By trial and error, and with lots of bloody ends"

"Just what are you..?"

"That is the right question. It is up to you to figure out what you are. But you can ask me what I am"

"So..?"

"I'm the girl you killed a long time ago"

"What the fuck?"

She just gave me an angry glare, as if she was actually remembering an angry moment from a long time ago.

"er.. you told me I can't kill you though?"

"Only since then"

"Ok, fill me in from the start"

"It goes back centuries. 622 years to be exact. You killed me on the first full moon of Autumn that year, on the night of mid-autumn's festival we have in this town every year"

"That still doesn't make any sense, but do go on"

"I don't know how, or why, but I came back to life"

This is the craziest thing I've ever heard.

"And every year, I died again. On the same night of mid-autumn's festival, for the past 622 years"

"That is horrible"

"You bet. But I'm used to it now. Lots of things happened in different variations. I inevitably die on the same night, but I always come back. Somewhere along the line, you 'killed' me. The first time was puzzling, as I didn't die when it would have been humanly impossible for me to survive that – well, it is already impossible that I die every year and come back, but it was almost like I couldn't be killed by you"

"What makes you think that?"

"Because every year I die in different ways, so although I always come back, I know I can be killed. But until then, no matter what fucked up mistake you make in between that should have resulted in me dying, I didn't"

"Man you must think I'm horrible.. but er, I don't recall any of this, I only met you this spring – so is this some kind of a time loop?" – nothing was unbelievable anymore although it felt silly I was asking about something stupid like a time loop.

"In a very loose sense yes. I die, but the world continues. I 'hibernate' until the spring, when I come out again all fresh and clean, and resume my 'life'"

"Is this like a re-incarnation?"

"Not quite. I come back as same age. Always 16. I've never turned 17, although technically I've lived 622 years"

"Hang on – but if you 'die', and come back the next year, wouldn't that be like super weird to everyone? To put it most mildly that is"

"After I die, every time, people just forget about me, forget the fact that I ever existed. Life continues and no one has any memory of me, and I come back the next year, sometimes meet the same people, and they treat me like it's the first time they ever met me"

"So memory of you gets erased after you die, then you come back, it's like only you are stuck in your own time loop"

"Something like that"

"And.. how is all this related to me?"

She then flashed another blitz of anger in her eyes and swiftly kicked me on my balls

"YOU are the fucking idiot who caused all this"

"Ouch… I don't know what happened but I'm sorry"

"Sigh.. you will never know"

"so.. am I in the same time loop as you? I always come back to your life?"

"Not exactly. You came and went, in irregular intervals. Sometimes I met you again the next year, sometimes you wouldn't turn up for like decades"

"Did you miss me then?"

Another kick in my balls.

"Ouch, I need them you know?!"

"Fuck you. You will never need them. I know that for a fact – never!"

Awkward silence.

"so.. what do I do? How do I come back into your life? Am I also re-incarnating every now and then?"

"You are easy to identify. You will always have that hateful name Tobi. No matter what decade or century it is"

"Huh?"

"that was.. a nickname we used between us", did Rika just blush a little?

"Anyways. That's irrelevant. But of course, it can happen that there can be other boys with the same name. It's not common but it does happen"

"How do you know then, that I am.. .this same 'Tobi'?"

"Because you invariably end up accidentally killing me, or shall I say, almost killing me. So when that happens and I don't die, I know it's you"

"I don't know if that's good or bad"

"Me neither"

Silence.

"So.. what now?"

"I don't know. This is the first time things have taken a different turn. You ended up killing someone, someone totally unrelated to our doomed fate"

"Yes I did.. how did you know?"

"I just know. I don't want to. But I just do"

"It was an accident.."

"I know. But it's fine by me"

"Really?"

"Yes. Because that put a lot of things into perspective, the fact that you can permanently kill someone, but just not me"

"What does that mean?"

"Like I said. Nobody ever told or explained anything to me. There isn't some human-like god or angel or even a devil that comes to you and speaks to you after you die. There is no fucking afterlife. But I come back, so I have time to contemplate. To go over the details. To deduce the pattern, to identify what's happening and why"

"That sounds depressing"

"Irrelevant now. What became clear now is that you are an abnormally"

"That's a hell of a weird thing to say for a girl that's been dying and coming back to life for past 622 years" – I instinctively cover my balls this time, but Rika didn't make a move

"I think I know what you are now, but as I said, that's for you to figure out. I know why I keep coming back, and why you could never kill me again after the first time"

"And that would be..?"

"You have wronged me. Grievously. I consider this as some grotesque form of justice, some kinda fucked up cosmic 'reward' let's say, that you shall never hurt me and take my life away from me again. And this is now proven by the fact that you are capable of and did kill other lives, and they are never coming back again" – I felt a pang of guilt thinking about the bitch and the man in the toilet (that was a kinda horrible way to describe people that I killed accidentally), but everything was so surreal and I was captivated by Rika's story.

"I'm glad justice is being served. But why do you still die every year?"

"I think it's because to some extent, you can't change the destiny. Although you killed me the first time by accident, it was still my fate that I shall not live past the night. Yet it's like I am being cruelly rewarded to live my life again repeatedly. So I can relive this world and 'enjoy' the life that had been cut short for me, but I get put back into my place when the fateful night comes"

This was all too much to take in, let alone comprehend

"So what now?"

"I have some new theories, which I want to prove if they are true"

"How?"

"Go kill another girl"