“Alright, I got Toby on side. That takes care of the Gamer Union. Next I need the support of the Anime Union,” said Stanley as he alternated his gaze between the many Eucalyptus trees growing along a river. His gaze eventually made its way down the trunks of those magnificent trees, and between the reeds that sprung up along the river bank. It settled there, where his expression got progressively more aggressive as time wore on. He jumped to his feet with the feeling of 1.26 tons of Sodium reacting with water.

“I will defeat you!” he exclaimed, gesturing wildly at the ever silent body of water. “You cannot keep us divided,” Stanley continued while this time including both sides of the river in his gestures. “I hereby declare to you, the aptly named, Moronic River, that this town of Algebra, of which I am a citizen, will no longer tolerate your obscene tactics!” he finished, turning to the slowly growing crowd that stood behind him.

“Umm, is he okay?” asked a woman with red hair as she examined this seemingly nonsensical outburst.

“Yeah, he’s fine. This is just a promotional act he has taken up recently, he’s actually pretty good. But I warn you, try not to answer any of his questions,” replied a man standing next to her amongst the crowd.

“Questions? I’m the one with questions here,” said the now bewildered red haired woman.

The man turned to her, trying to appraise whether she was serious or not, he looked into her green eyes before solemnly saying “Don’t,”

“What?” she said, now even more confused.

“Never. Ask him. Anything. At least, not when he’s like this. Trust me,” he said as Stanley started addressing the crowd directly, saying something about how ‘our spirit cannot be broken’.

“Fine. What’s your name?” she asked finally turning her attention back to who she once thought of as a raving lunatic.

“Saratova. Yours?” he asked.

“Kerala. Nice to meet you,” she said offhandedly, apparently enraptured by the performance in front of her.

Saratova studied her expression briefly before also facing this ‘fellow citizen’ of his.

“Yes my fellow citizens, it is true. Without the intervention of this river, that so dared to carve its way through our town,” Stanley paused. “No, our very way of life. We wouldn’t have to drive several thousand fathoms just to see our loved ones who are truly oh so close to us,” he said, pointing once more to the street across the river. “Look, it’s barely a minute away as the old lady walks!” he exclaimed, while seeming to want to grasp the other half of Algebra, and finally solve for X. “And yet, as you all know, it is so very far from each of us,” Stanley finished.

Having finished his speech, he silently regarded each member of the crowd, which now took up the area of 1 and a half large cow houses. His gaze briefly settled on one man, Saratova, who had previously brought up that half of the town’s residents owned boats. Stanley knew that there wouldn’t be any more trouble from the fisherman. He’d made sure of that.

“I appreciate all of you coming out here to listen to me speak again. I see many familiar faces,” he said glancing past Toby, who was barely suppressing raucous laughter. “And also some unfamiliar,” Stanley’s gaze swept past Kerala and a few others. “But I know that our cause is just, and with your help, we will see our town united again!” he finished, inclining his head towards the looming dark clouds that were beginning to obstruct the sun. “Now I would like to ask all of you a quest-“ he stopped when he saw a red haired women with a raised hand. “Yes?’ he inquired.

“Excuse me for interrupting, but I would like to ask you something first,” Kerala stated as something seemed to stir beneath her words.

Saratova was shocked by what was occurring, if he knew what she was going to do he would’ve started running by now. But it was too late.

“What’s done is done,” Saratova mumbled to himself while shaking his head. A crack of thunder was heard in the distance. The storm had arrived.

“Go ahead,” Stanley offered her.

“I may not be a resident of this town, but I am a citizen of our state of Milandia, and your words have reminded me of many things that I’ve seen during my travels,” Kerala began slowly but steadily, as if she were handling a nuclear weapon. “Towns divided, not by this Moronic River of yours, but by things that similarly seem impossible to overcome,” she continued, her voice slowing down, as if a sniper preparing to quick scope someone. “So I ask you, how are you going to solve this problem of yours?”

Stanley seemed momentarily shocked by Kerala’s words. But he gathered himself quickly, recognizing that this is the chance that he had been waiting for. “Have you ever heard the tale of the Constitution of the state of Milandia,” he inquired, eagerness barely suppressed in his voice.

“Yes,” Kerala responded. The distant members of the crowd may have thought that was a simple answer, but those closer knew otherwise. They stared at her in shock, because looking at her, they saw in her expression an entirely unhidden desire to destroy everything that they’ve ever known. As if a nuclear reactor on its way to the earth’s core.

And with that, it began to rain.