Old weary bones will rest in a comfortable bed, red blanket covers my body my hands resting atop the blanket, folded . Grooves and lines make up my outside,but my blue eyes tell my truth they say what I never could I want them to show what I can't ,yet even the eyes that say so much cannot convey what I feel. Yearning, longing,searching, wondering, love. Love such an overrated word , how can it be possible to describe a fire in your stomach, a warmth that spreads throughout all of you, a feeling of being awake for the first time ever, to say I love you to the one person who made you live life is not nearly enough. Love is a word you can use to describe feelings towards a pet, or a story , or an art piece,or a person who means your world , and that's why I can't say it , why I never will to you who are my very heart love is an overrated nonsense word.

. Tip . Tip. Tip. Tip. Tip. Shhhhhh. Water showers the grass,seeping into the land where it releases the aroma of Earth , it smells alive and vibrant I love the rain. I curl into myself listening to the rain falling outside my tiny window shhhhhh.

The sound is quiet lulling me back and forth until finally the shimmering blanket of sleep drifts down softly coating me in a land of dreams. A lake awaits, full of cool pristine water, shells can be seen under the mirror of water close to shore even though it is still a simple lake ,the scenery changes. Sunlight has filled a small field, the grass is long and soft, cool compared to the warmth of the light. Everything has a golden warmth, though you cannot see the sun ,there is a peaceful glow, a soft movement of air rustles the field of grass which holds a strong tree at its heart. A tree that has always grown right in that field

,branches which hold an amazing bundle of luscious bright green leaves that are delicately attached by stems delivering life. Have you ever seen dead dandelions when their fluffy wishes are whisked off in a breeze, in this field shining green lights, the size of dandelion fluff , float around the tree that has always been and will always be. I lay in the grass under the tree and watch the lights float I know as I look at them they are life itself and in this moment I get to watch lives dance , effortlessly twirl,bump, and leave I'm solitary but not alone simply at peace.

“Cassapeia, my peony how long will you watch these lives ? When will you come back to me ? I will always be with you waiting until I can wrap you in my arms and rest , don't take too long here my peony. Until I find you again.”

An essence that is half of me fades only leaving a lingering hint that it was there with me, that little piece is mine and shall always belong solely to me . I should pass on to start my journey anew so I can find him again my only 'anima mate’.

I've been known by millions of names Cassie,Carl,Landon, Ellie, and once a very long time ago I was known as Cassapeia it was at my start that I met you,and I met you again and again, continuously we found each other, were we ever actually apart? My dear I will always want to be with you, but I'm just tired of searching all the time it never stops; we meet, we love, we leave and it starts again, I need you always with me, but I hate the process so this time please stop waiting for me.