Hoodwinker Detective

My today’s get up is a classy Pinstriped suit with a red carnation. I can’t afford to carry a firearm to protect myself like my good friend, the brilliant detective Sherlock Holmes, but I have my trusty boomerang in my pocket to dispatch any dangerous beast that might threaten me. I am currently on the trail of Mrs. Wisteria O’Dea, my buddy Neil’s neighbour Mr. Horace’s wife, who has eluded me for months now.

She is the wife of one of the richest and most powerful man in town, and I’m here to prove she is having an affair with one of her handymen, a certain umpy caterpillar of a man named Jim.

I am near Barnacle Lane to a hotel mansion on Merrifile Mews, which is Mrs. O’Dea’s present location, shadowing her as she goes from place to place.

I’ve been directly following her for a couple of days now and I believe that I have enough time to do a more thorough investigation.

Doubled back on her several times, I even hid in the bushes around the corner of their house so I can listen to their conversations when they thought nobody was there.

Got no evidence of my theory, but I know I have to dig deeper if I want to confirm or disprove it.

I have asked myself several times why I’m doing all this. On one hand, no one paid me money to investigate his wife. It isn’t every day that someone hires a rogue, let alone one who has been out of a job for a while. At worst, I think I would just be seeing an increase in legwork, and that would be a one hell of a “blessing” considering my rent is overdue again.

On the other hand, I really do have a hunch about this woman. I think she’s up to something and the best way to find out is to keep following her.

If it were just the money, I wouldn’t be doing it. However, I am not getting paid by anyone on this.

It’s the thrill of the hunt, the excitement of figuring out a mystery that most others failed.

I’m Jasper Debolt Reardon, a self-proclaimed detective, who is actually unemployed and wandering the streets like a vagabond for lack of a job. My little skills in exorcism is my asset, which I use in my investigations. However, let me tell you that I used to work as an archaeologist, but it didn't pan out.

Nobody but me knows that I’m spying on her. I made sure of that. It’s because I know that she’s cheating on her husband. I want to get an evidence to blackmail her.

Why? I have deeper motifs that others won’t understand. It’s because I’m not like others.

I’m a rogue.

I have to admit, though, I don’t know if this is such a good idea. What if my hunch is wrong? What if I go breaking into her house and find nothing? What if I get caught?

I can’t think about it now. I have work to do. Besides, my ESP powers are maybe limited, but they barely miss accuracy.

I'm just kidding.

After several days of tailing and investigation, I found out that the wife was certainly cheating.

She and her lover meet in a secluded hotel room. I’ve only been able to catch a glimpse of him, but she has let down the top of her dress several times so I can see she isn’t lacking in that area.

Today is the day I will get some evidence of their affair.

I push through the revolving door into a marble-tiled lobby full of plush sofas, men in expensive suits with slick hair, and dames in the latest flapper dresses. A dapper gentleman gives me a condescending look.

When I try to enter the hotel, my first fly in the ointment is the recipient boy with curly black hair who wants to know my reasons for staying, and wants me to pay for a room if I want to enter.

I feel like killing him right there. I could at least let myself in and do it silently, with no one noticing. Instead, I just tell him to buzz me in without a word, but he persists.

“Your timing is off, sir.” He speaks. “You would have to wait at least another hour, if you want to get in today.”

I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. I’ve been planning this well.

“Listen, kid.” I say to the hotel clerk, who is looking at me funny. “I’m sorry, but I have an urgent appointment that couldn’t be delayed.”

“I see,” the little man says, still looking me up and down.

“This is a nice hotel,” I continue, “Ajman, your father is sick at home. I know you are worried. Buy an orange juice and mix blueberries in it. Then, add some salt. Not just any salt. Take this special salt. The charm effect will cure his fever."

It startled the kid. His eyes at the moment are like big berries of skepticism. Sweat is dripping down his eyebrows. “How did you....??”

“You see, I’m an officer of the law. I’m trying to hunt down a wanted man who is using it as a hideout. I’m sure you understand that my business must come first. So, if you wouldn’t mind...” I pull out my fake cop ID that I already made in advance for this.

Stun people with confusion first. Lying can be easily charmed by making others more confused in a state of bewilderment. People easily accept anything in this situation. The psychological trick seems to have worked.

Despite his confusion, he tries to calm down and grasps the emergency of the situation that I fabricated. He nods and takes a deep breath.

The kid flashes me a wide, creepy grin.

“Not at all. A man of your importance, I would be happy to help you in any way possible. You want to stay here: just sign in as ‘unconfirmed’ and state your business. I will even move you up to a better room.”

“That’s very kind of you,” I say, flashing my most sincere, officer-like smile. “I would be honored.”

The lad’s face falls slightly, but he recovers quickly. “Terrific! I’ll be right back.”

After carefully setting up my spying equipment in the room next to hers, I wait for her to arrive. I have timed it to perfection; she arrives at noon and goes straight to the hotel room door. I’ve been counting down and once she opens the door, I’ll sneak in and catch them in the act.

I wait and wait, but no more than ten minutes go by before I hear the sounds of a bustling city outside.