《Steve of the Almost Empire》1.04
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“Hey kid,” Nuori gave Spark a wave as she entered the room and took a look around. “Any sign of our boy?”
“Not yet.” Spark a Synthetic teenager replied from behind the bar counter. He had been watching something that Steve would instantly recognize as a television. While many advancements had been made in the realm of viewing entertainment, they were often quite inconvenient for normal use. As such, standard flat, two dimensional projections were still a fairly common thing.
As Nuori sat down on a stool across from spark she noticed what was on the screen. “Are you sure you should be watching these fights Sparky? Thought Synths were supposed to be beyond such ‘base’ entertainment.”
Spark shrugged “While he might try to, councilman Hvaldi does not speak for all of us. Or even most of us when it comes to this. No ones getting permanently hurt, and hey, it’s entertainment.”
“What a bloodthirsty savage you are.” She said with a grin.
“You watch these fights” Spark pointed an accusatory finger.
“Yep” Nuori happily agreed. She then looked at the wall behind him where she kept most of their resource tubes. “Where’s the Kivi? Seems like the day for it.”
“That bad?” Spark asked, mildly concerned. He searched the back wall. “I think you had me hide it around... four years ago? It was when you were going through the archives of message boards from the great push south.”
Nuori grimaced at the memory.
Sometimes she saw the worst of humanity in her research. Reading fatalistic commments of long dead people arguing for the genocide of their own people was some of the worst. Part of her agreeing with those arguments… that might have been the worst.
“Yep,” He continued in a somber tone while reaching below his side of the counter. “you definitely had a drinking problem for a while there.” He stood up and placed a new cylinder on the wall. It was her old light green friend, now with a hastily drawn smiley face on it. “Four years now to be exact! This Kivi shall be your drinking solution!” He said as he plastered a stupid grin on his face.
“You're such a little shit.” She stated for the record.
“Wonder who raised me to be like this, mom.” Spark retorted, then looked troubled when he saw her wince slightly.
Just let him say it Nuori. Please.
“Must have been Hvaldi, he was always good at being a judgemental prick” They both tried to laugh. The background noise of the television took over as they quieted. Nuori poured herself a glass of Kivi and took a sip.
Yep, it still tasted like being punched in the face.
The silence between the two stretched on, both trying to focus on the fight but neither feeling fully comfortable. Nouri decided to just bite the bullet.
“You know I don’t like being called ‘mom’, kiddo.” her comment caused Spark to flinch.
I am such a piece of shit.
Spark looked down. Silent. After a couple seconds, he looked at her with a small smirk on his face. “Yes mom, sorry mom, definitely won't happen again mom.” That was better. Try to laugh off her failings as a joke and hopefully one day she will be able to move past them.
It wasn’t that Nuori didn’t think of Spark as her kid, it was just that she knew she didn’t deserve to be his mother.
Nuori tried a smile. “It better not kid, I’d make a terrible parent. You’re much better off with me as a teacher.”
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“That can’t be right,” Spark quickly responded. “I never seem to learn anything from you.”
“I never said I wasn’t a bad teacher.” Nuori replied “Just that I’d be a much worse parent, haven’t I taught you to listen to the details?”
“No?”
“Exactly!” Nuori laughed, then shook her head “Our boy is doomed.”
“You really shouldn’t really be calling him ‘boy’.” Spark pointed out. “They told you he was to be our ‘Emperor’, wouldn’t that make him the most powerful person here?”
“I read the dossier they gave me Sparky. Twenty five?” She snorted “He’s a kid, a title doesn’t change that.”
“Kid? He’s older than me!” Spark protested
“Yeah, so what? You’re a kid, kiddo. He’s an eighth of my age Spark, what am I supposed to call him?”
“Just because you’re an old hag doesn’t make him a child.”
“Hey! I’m not old!” Nuori refuted.
“You’re choosing to disagree with the factually true part of that statement instead of the insult?” Spark queired
And here's where I can turn this into a lesson
“The insult is more likely to be true as it’s a matter of perspective, to you, I may be a hag, that is something I cannot refute as I do not know whether or not you truly believe it.” Nuori pointed at herself. “See, me being old though? That would be a fact. Something I found is that facts can be fun to play with.”
“In the middle ages of Earthbound history” Spark let out a mock groan as he realized he stumbled into a lecture. “you would be in your late forties or early fifties and people could then consider you ‘old’. Now, in the late Earth period my studies are focused on, many of the folks who would be considered old in the past may be offended at being called so then.” Nuori pointed at Spark. “So what does old mean, if the age requirement of old can change?”
“I want to go with the textbook definition but I don’t think that’s what you want.” Spark said unsure.
“Textbook definition works.” She smiled reassuringly.
“It’s ‘having lived for a long time; no longer young’.” Spark read off.
“Come by that answer honestly?” She teased.
“Well, when you can access the archives with your head…” Spark said meaningfully.
“I know, I know, wish I could do it, it’d save so much time.” Nuori got herself back on topic. “That answer is revealing though, it says a ‘long’ amount of time, now as far as I know, a ‘long time’ is not a defined quantity as a unit of measurement. It’s akin to the archaic measurement standards of old earth before metric took over. You could have both French ‘inches’ and English ‘inches’. It’s changeable.”
“But.” Nuori’s eyes flashed with excitement as she looked at Spark. “From what I can see, ‘old’ is still a definite measurement of sorts. What would you say that it measures?”
Spark thought for a moment “How close a person is to the end of their lifespan?”
“Yes, Sparky” she smiled. “And young is the inverse, the longer you can live, the higher the age cutoff is. The definitions themselves aren’t fluid but societal conditions can change them.”
“So,” Nuori continued. “I am not old. I can say that definitely. In fact, since our life spans can be continued indefinitely through technology, I am the equivalent of a newborn in historical times. Two hundred and four years is a microscopic amount of time when compared to infinity.”
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“Are you actually trying to argue that you should be considered a newborn?” Spark stared at her skeptically.
“I’m trying to argue that facts are rather flexible,” She raised her hands defensively. “I’ve always had other proof that I’m not old.”
Spark just looked at her.
“You’re not going to ask for the proof?” Nuori felt a bit disappointed.
Spark rolled his eyes “Whenever you say that you have ‘proof’, it always ends up being something really obscure I couldn’t have known or something so stupid it hurts.”
“It’s that second one, I promise.” She replied brightly. He just waved a hand indicating her to get on with it. “My name, it means ‘young’ in a dead earth language called Finnish. Since old and young are opposing terms, I figured it was technically impossible for me to ever be old.”
“Congratulations! That was both obscure and stupid.” Spark lamented. “You really outdid yourself this time”
“I do try” they fell into a comfortable silence for a time as she got back to her thoughts and the most glorious glass of Kivi.
I forgot how terribly amazing this stuff is.
“So,” Spark looked around. “when is our ‘boy’ going to arrive”
“You shouldn’t be so disrespectful kiddo, that’s our new Emperor you’re calling boy.” Nuori admonished him, then reveled in the betrayed look he gave her. “I don’t expect him to be here for some time.”
“Do you think he got lost?”
“No, I gave him some thorough directions. I’d just be surprised if they've gotten him out yet. They’ll need to get someone to clean up that mess,” She scrunched up her face in disgust “and unless you wish to volunteer I’d expect someone is going to be voluntold fairly soon.”
“Errr, I’m probably good.” Spark responded with a chuckle and then shook his head “How did you describe it again?”
“A spontaneous and involuntary rapid removal of excess waste. It can happen.” She nodded seriously.
“Ah yes, Humans, so disgusting.” Said her grinning kid.
“Yep, we’re also incredibly lazy so don’t expect any volunteers to come rushing from our end.”
Spark gave her a sideways look. “How did you make a daring escape without getting caught yourself?”
Nuori stood up and pulled out a metal badge. “You are now looking at essential personnel” She gave him a bow. “As such, I am above lowly tasks like that. Now, I’m allowed one assistant who would also be extremely essential to my work, anyone you know looking for a job?” She gave him a wink.
“Yay! Nepotism!” Spark cheered.
Yay! Now for the bad news.
“I wouldn't cheer just yet, we may be getting yelled at quite a bit.” She gave him a dark look. “Not many people were happy with Steve’s declaration that got leaked, and worse yet, it was my voice saying it.” She looked at the cup she had already emptied and poured herself another glass. “I don’t really break out the Kivi for no reason.”
“They can’t really blame you for what he said, right?” Spark started looking concerned.
“I really am a terrible teacher.” She let out a sad laugh.
He reached over the counter and gently grabbed Nuori’s arm and looked her in the eyes. “Don’t make jokes about this, please. Not if you think it’s serious.”
Don’t even think about lying to him. “It’s bad.” She simply said.
His eyes widened a bit. “Okay.” He took his hand off her arm and his eyes slid to the tv. Staring it down, but not really seeing.
She started watching as well, the next match was going to be a ten on ten. She knew the team leaders by name but some of the others eluded her. ‘Eve of the Warrens’ was leading a team of sword wielders against Kvlin’s team who held spears.
Logically she knew that the spears had a distinct advantage. Name recognition was definitely on the side of Eve though. She felt like Eve should win but that's how they trick you into betting. If you give the big names the lesser equipment to work with it encourages more people to watch and bet. A fair match you know the result of does not sell nearly as well.
Luckily she wasn’t in a position to lose anything with her bet.
“I’m for Eve, who do thi-
“Who are you afraid of!” Spark blurted. “I won’t let them hurt you!”
She closed her eyes. “You don’t need to protect me Spark. I’m not afraid of anyone in particular, I just know how this situation plays out.” She brought out her tablet and gave it to him. “Someone leaked the audio but you already know that much. Problem for me is, no one knows who.”
She looked down at the counter “The people who’d had access to that information are me, Filni, he was the man you heard asking the questions, and the council. Very narrow list of suspects. Filni’s out, once he left early they confiscated his equipment. Which leaves people two choices to blame. A council member, each of whom are among the most powerful people in the Empire, or me, Nuori, a random translator who is a relative unknown.
“Wouldn’t the obvious candidates be Dyrian or Wyndra?” Spark pointed out.
She sighed. “That’s what I assumed as well, thought I was in the clear. Problem is, the militarist leadership outside of the council think I did it. I got messages from them ‘thanking me for my service to the Empire’ and a vague promise of future rewards.”
“Seriously?” Spark looked as flabbergasted as she was when she first saw that message.
“Yep. So either it was a different member or they're playing a deep game. Although I doubt they’d be doing that. They try to keep their actions in the open as It gives Alliandra less of a pretext to get rid of them. But if this wasn’t them and I’m fairly certain it wasn’t me…”
“Who would?” Spark finished for her.
“I’m already facing accusations from folks outside of the militarists. They say I’m using the Emperor to pervert the flow of governance.” She shook her head. “If I do try to get him to back off, something that I really want to do and promised those people I would do, I anger the militarists who are the only people that actually like me right now.” She was fairly confident she could navigate those waters though. “The true problem is that I don’t know who leaked the audio in the first place. One of the council’s playing a game and I don’t know their angle. I can only guess who.”
“Alliandra, Tovalin or Yersto?” Spark guessed.
“Probably. Not going to say Hvaldi though?” Nuori teased.
“He talks a big game to you fleshies, but Yersto speaks, he’ll jump.” At that she gave him a look.
I may need to learn Synth politics.
“All three certainly would be willing to pull something like this, I just can’t see why and that’s concerning me. Too many times in the past when things stopped making sense, people died.” Nuori stated as she finished her second cup.
“How so?”
She laughed. “Seriously? Haven’t I taught you about Ayn Lyn and the Tree People? The Journey Back to Creation? The Grand End of Love?” Both of them shuddered at that last one. They had made the mistake of watching the recording.
Some things you wish you could forget.
“Yes.” Spark said seriously “You have. Never forget though that people say the same things about the ‘Last Dance of Swords’.”
“That’s different, I know they weren’t involved.”
“Yes, but people still think they were. So, how do you actually know that the same is not true for the other ones?”
Yep, I suppose I am being a bit conspiritory. Listening to rumours, when her day to day work was deciphering the basis of, and invalidity of much of those rumours in the far past. It was so much easier to fall into that trap of misinformation when it could affect your own life.
“You’re right kid. I’m just worried, is all. I just… I’m not used to this… not knowing” she put her face in her hands. “I don’t know what will happen and so my mind tells me it must be bad.”
Spark came around the counter and gave her a tight hug “It will be okay mom. It’ll be okay.” This once is fine, I don’t deserve you kid She thought then hugged him back.
As she stood there, in the arms of the person she loved most in this world. Nuori heard a sound that terrified her coming from the tv. English.
“See uh, you know that was really impressive and stuff.” Said the perfect idiot, who had been ushered onto the announcer's stage. “But uhhh, blood sports are bad… mkay. That was a reference by the way… might not go over well now that I think about it, so no need to translate that part.” He continued going through the least convincing speech she had ever heard about the negatives of pit fighting.
This however didn’t matter to the crowd who was cheering for his every word. Maybe Steve didn’t realize that the crowd loved the fights. Maybe he thought that he was just that charismatic.
Either way he was emboldened and started dramatically yelling out the virtues he wanted his new society to develop.
Nuori and Spark were dumbfounded.
“Mom, is that who I think that is?”
“Equality for all!” What does that even mean? “Decriminalization of drugs!” Already done, people got bored. “Environmentalism!” We’re on a fucking space station in an asteroid. “Universal Health Care!”
Seriously? I thought that was practically everywhere. Even in his primitive time.
While it was incredibly hilarious and horribly depressing for Nuori to watch this kid try to fix a society he knew nothing about, she was also horror struck by the fact the crowd was still cheering.
“Mom.” her terrified kid said behind her. “He’s talking about us like we’re not even people…”
Oh, oh no
“TO THE FRONT THEY SHALL GO! WE WILL BUILD AN ARMY THROUGH INDUSTRY THAT WILL BREAK THE ALIEN SCUM WHO ONCE BROUGHT US TO OUR KNEES! THESE ARE THE WORDS OF YOUR EMPEROR AND SO IT WILL BE!” The announcer was incredibly enthusiastic as he spoke ‘Emperor Steve’s’ words.
“I thought you said he didn’t… I don’t want to…” Spark, her beautiful, precious, kind, child, stared at the tv, stricken at the thought he might be forced into the horrors of war.
Nuori couldn’t even grasp the thought in her head that this might actually be happening.
“He’s not saying that, I mean, Steve’s not...” She laughed. “I mean he’s talking nonsense, right? Universal Healthcare! I’ll save you from your bloodthirsty ways!” She waved her arms around for effect. Spark still wasn’t laughing. “I mean it, he said none of those things.” she looked at him seriously. “All they’re saying is lies.”
Spark turned to her, still with wide eyes. “Mom…” he started but couldn’t finish. She went up to him and put a hand on his arm. He gathered himself. “I… I don’t think it matters as long as people believe them.”
She looked back at the tv. She saw the cheering crowd. The vigorous announcer. The jubilant Steve who was reveling in his newfound popularity. She had a realization.
“Only one person,” she mumbled. “Only one person, who knows what he’s said.” She started laughing. Laughing and crying. “And who will believe me.”
She turned and hugged Spark fiercely. “Whelp,” she said. “life sucks.”
Spark couldn’t help but laugh in her arms. “Yep.”
She reluctantly let go of Spark and then poured herself a cup of that now beautiful drink.
Is there anything I can do?
She looked around the ‘bar’, more of a club really. It had large open areas meant for dancing, though it wasn’t used for that anymore. She looked down at the center of the room and had a terrible idea. She downed her drink, poured herself another and downed it again. She repeated this process three more times despite Spark’s weak protests.
“Mom?” That word didn’t hurt her so much right now. Not when everything was so close to breaking.
“Yes, Sweetie?” She replied absently.
“What are you doing?”
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been hit by a wooden stick, the Kivi will help with the pain. Keep me moving.”
“What?” The answer seemed to do nothing for Spark.
“They’ll put me against Eve. Or Falogi I guess, but probably Eve. They like to keep genders the same in the one on ones. Stay here Sparky, it might not be safe out there for you right now.” Nuori said as she started moving towards the door.
“Mom? What are you doing?” Spark got up and started following her.
She stopped for a second and turned back her head. When he saw the forlorn look in her teary eyes he stopped in his tracks.
“Spark…”
She would never lie to him, but what truth should she tell him.
I don’t know.
Something stupid.
Whatever I have to.
Please stay safe.
I love you.
All were true, but instead she let out a slight chuckle and gave a hopeless shrug and said the most technically correct answer she could.
“Diplomacy”
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