《In Pursuit of Bark's Finest》Shore Leave
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We were about halfway through our vacation, both Grom and all eight of me happily enjoying our time off. We’d decided to go to a vacation resort in one of the Red Star Union’s minor systems, and had ultimately wound up at a dedicated cylinder habitat pair by the name of Cabana.
That was an appropriate name in all honesty. They’d deliberately gone for a relaxed tropical garden aesthetic, using a lot of bamboo architecture on an archipelago of islands covered in vibrant and colorful flora and fauna. There were a few big islands used for specific functions like performances, sports, an amusement park, and the temple island used for accommodating the various religions and spiritual practices found in the Union. That said, aside from those most of the land area was in the form of small islands with a few mansion-sized vacation units on them and some shared park and beach space.
We were staying in one such mansion sized unit during our vacation, and today we’d actually planned to go diving on one of the coral reefs that the resort staff of Cabana had installed. We were actually talking about it over breakfast at the moment, when we got an alert from one of the assistant drones, noting “The news broadcast you wanted to be alerted about is starting now.”
One of me replied “Thank you. Please bring it up on the projector.”
The carpet on the floor of the room we were lounging in retracted, revealing the array of optics making up the floor-mounted optical trap display. We noticed a faint hum as the projector warmed up, but soon enough a three-dimensional projection appeared in the middle of the room, showing a desk with a four-armed vaguely feminine synthmorph sitting at it. Along the bottom translucent rings of text rotated around the projection, displaying minor news items.
There was a brief moment of silence before the audio part of it started, the news anchor on screen greeting us with “Hello and thank you for watching Union Central News, your source for national news in the Red Star Union. Today we’re covering the trials of the Bark’s Finest Pirates, who stand collectively accused of piracy, cognitive assault, theft of Non-Orientable Wormholes, resisting arrest, unauthorized Timewall construction, construction of an Obliterator Ship, and use of weapons of mass destruction.”
Over the news anchor’s left shoulder, a small representation of a dedicated courthouse arcology popped up to emphasize her point. As that occurred, she continued “The trial is being held in the Stonebeach Interstellar Shipping Court as is standard for piracy cases. A team of public defenders have been assigned to represent all ten million, five hundred thousand members of the pirate crew. The honorable Judge Gramthorne will be presiding over the case.”
As the news reporter continued discussing the details of the trial and sentencing, I turned to the right to look at Grom and the other seven of me, before asking “So, do you want to finish watching this? Or should we finish our meal and go for that swim?”
There was a bit of thought about this on all parts, before Grom noted “We can easily listen to the news broadcast while we finish eating; I see no reason not to let it continue playing.”
Another me shrugged and replied “Sure, that sounds reasonable enough.”
And so we all turned back to our food. In my case that was a bottle of Alpha Cola along with some fried eggs and grilled slices of some fruit that I was pretty sure was totally unique to this habitat. And so I ate and drank, spending the next few minutes savoring my breakfast in total relaxation.
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Eventually I finished the meal, and the array of electromagnets in the floor levitated the tray table away to storage. Looking to my right, I could see that the next nearest version of me had also finished eating. So, figuring it was my turn to get some gentle scratches behind the ear I gently flopped over onto the other me, looking up at her face as my head rested on her lap.
My other self chuckled, before replying “Hello M8. I guess you want to be petted?”
I didn’t bother with subtlety at all, responding with a blunt “Yes, M4. Pet me now.”
And so my other self started rubbing her hands through my hair and gently pulling it into straight rows as I purred contentedly. After a few moments she began carefully scratching me behind the ears in that way I’d always loved, and I turned up the purring to match.
This carried on for about two minutes before other mes started also gravitating to M4’s lap. M3 was next to reserve some lap space, meaning that any other mes who wanted to be petted by M4 would have to detach their heads to fit. M5 was the first to do so, dropping her head off to receive petting as she set her body to autopilot to the bathroom. M6 and M7 followed along shortly thereafter, increasing the total number of me getting petted by M4 up to five.
This state of affairs carried on for quite a while until eventually all of me were either M4 or getting petted by her. Still, eventually the news broadcast ended with a note that they’d be following the courtroom proceedings, but this seemed likely to be an open-and-shut case. Off to the side Grom asked “Well, are we actually going swimming, or are you all going to sit there getting petted all day?”
I spoke up “Give us a bit to savor this, then we’ll go. That said, no reason not to get my body into swimwear while doing so.”
And so I detached my head, temporarily forking my mind so that I could both focus on what my body was doing and on getting petted by M4. Seeing using my skin, I stood myself upright and started walking towards my bedroom. A few moments later I reached my room and got a good look at myself in the mirror, momentarily examining the connector socket on my neck stump before I turned my attention towards deciding what style of swimsuit to wear.
I briefly considered a one-piece suit, before deciding that I’d much rather show a bit more skin. So I donned a triangle top bikini, taking care to get my tail through the hole in its thong. Once it was on, I carefully inspected my look in the mirror as I tried to decide what color I wanted it to be. I went through red, purple, orange and green, before I ultimately settled on setting my swimwear for an animated shimmering rainbow pattern courtesy of the chromatophores in the fabric.
Swimwear selected, I practically skipped back out of the bedroom I’d changed in, before grabbing my head off M4’s lap and putting myself back together. Soon enough, all of me except M4 were changed into swimwear and fully reassembled. Of course, that meant M4 still had to get herself ready for swimming.
So M4 got up from the big semicircular couch we’d eaten breakfast at, before abruptly taking her head off and shoving it into my arms as she walked off to get changed. It didn’t take me too long to figure out what M4 wanted, so I quickly sat back down and started petting M4 in my lab while she got changed. A few minutes passed with M4’s purring head in my lap, before I noticed M2 slowly scooching over.
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I waved an arm in her direction, replying “Shoo M2, the only reason M4’s getting petted now is because she didn’t get petted earlier. You already got pets.”
Thankfully M2 backed off without needing to be swatted, and only a minute or so later M4 came back wearing a light blue one-piece swim suit, collecting her head as she arrived. As I stood up, Grom noted “Well, it seems that we’re all ready to go for a swim. Shall we go?”
M1 smiled as she replied “Yes, that sounds wonderful.” and stared walking towards the open side of our bamboo vacation unit. I followed, as did Grom and the other six of me. Soon enough we reached the boat that Cabana gave each unit for motoring around the inside of the habitat. It was a pretty standard pontoon boat with a single rigged mast and a concealed electric propeller, perfectly suitable for casual transport around the habitat.
We all filed into the cabin without much fuss, noting that it consisted of two upholstered benches on either side of a smart table with cabinets full of snacks under the currently transparent tabletop. As I sat down, Grom requested “Boat, take us to a random coral reef.”
The smart ropes that the boat was using to hold itself to the pier untied themselves and retracted into coils, before the motor began humming and the boat started pushing itself along towards somewhere else on the habitat.
We’d barely been riding for a minute before my lap started accumulating other mes demanding petting. I didn’t even wait for confirmation before I obliged and started giving each of them what they were looking for, gently rubbing them and scratching them behind the ears. This carried on for several minutes until the boat pulled to a stop and announced “Attention passengers, we have arrived at Rainbow Reef.”
That was all the other me’s cue to collect their heads from my lap, but this had given me an idea. As I stood up, I noted “So, I’ve got an idea for a game we could play while diving.”
M6 perked up and asked “Oh, what would that be?”
To this I replied “Well, it’s sort of a race mixed with a scavenger hunt. The basic idea is that we all take our heads off, Grom hides them in various places around the reef, and whoever gets theirs back to the boat first wins. We don’t need to worry about the fish nibbling on our heads in the process, since we’ve all gotten the pheromone mod that marks us as guests to the local wildlife.”
There was a brief pause before Grom noted “You know what? That sounds excellent. Eight cat girls who I’m madly in love with all swimming around frantically looking for something important to them? I think that’s going to be fun.”
I smiled, even as I disconnected my head and handed it to Grom for him to hide. M6 was next, popping her head off and passing it over with a nonchalant toss. The rest of me followed soon after, and in not terribly long Grom was holding all eight of our heads. His blush lights were glowing faintly as he noted “In that case, I will be seeing you all again soon.”, diving into the water with a loud splash.
As we waited for him to finish hiding all our heads, I went back to sit in the passenger cabin. I was followed by the rest of me, and I asked using our built-in radios “So, anyone up for snuggling while we wait?”
M3 responded “Sure.” and sat right next to me, her tail rubbing up against mine as she leaned in close. I took things a bit further and began gently rubbing my finger around the edge of her neck stump, M3 seeming to get caught between relaxing and perking up as I did so. Then I felt warmth on my other side as another me sat down, placing her hands in my lap even as she rubbed her neck stump against my chest.
And so when Grom came back to the boat he found all eight of us in a headless, mildly lewd cuddle pile. He broadcast an onomatopoeia of an exaggerated camera shutter noise over radio to get our attention, before he said in an exaggeratedly pompous tone “Ladies. Per the agreement I have concealed your heads among the coral and fish. The timer for retrieving them starts now, with the winner being the first to receive my personal attentions tonight.”
Immediately all of us snapped to attention and made a mad dash for the front of the boat. I ran for about half a second before I reached the end, crouching down and jumping forwards into a dive with my hands out in front of me. Then I hit the water and my windpipe sealed itself shut as my biofeedback informed me I was now running on reserve Oxygen, with enough remaining for thirty kiloseconds.
As I quickly swam out of the way of the other mes jumping off the boat, I took in the view of rainbow reef, quickly determining that it was not misnamed. Seriously, there was coral reflecting vibrantly in nearly every color of the rainbow here, clumps of artfully placed aquatic plants breaking up the sight lines, and plentiful fish darting around and adding even more color and motion to the immensely vibrant aquatic terrain.
As one of the other mes bonked into me from behind, I took stock of my situation and decided to check one of the patches of seaweed first. And so I swam down and forwards, crossing under an arch of brilliant purple coral as I made my way towards the nearest patch of seaweed. Digging through it revealed no heads, but I did startle a bright blue and yellow fish that panicked for a few seconds before darting away at high speed.
Hmmm. Maybe Grom put my head under some of the corals? I dived down towards the bottom of the reef, poking around in the small caves and enclosures that riddled the place. I almost immediately found an incredibly conspicuous treasure chest marked with a skull-and-crossbones that the resort staff probably left out for the more official scavenger hunts, and spent a moment deciding what to do with it. After a moment I figured that Grom might just be cheeky enough to have hidden a head in there, so I pried it open.
Sure enough, there was a head there, along with a video recording of some cartoonish pirate. Since they were all interchangeable right now I grabbed it, and began paddling back towards the surface. I made sure to aim an obscene gesture at the treasure chest as I left; I’d had quite enough of pirates, thank you very much.
Getting back on the deck was a simple matter of tossing the head on then hauling myself up. I idly noted Grom’s tentacular applause as I poured out the water that had accumulated in my throat, allowing the sphincter for my lungs to re-open as I put the head on. Now that I had a sense of hearing again, I could plainly hear Grom’s clapping, along with him saying “Congratulations to you on being the first Madeline to return from the depths. Curiously, where did you find the head that you’re wearing?”
I shrugged as I replied “Treasure chest with the infuriating cartoon pirate, why?” even as the last of the water dripped out of my ultra-hydrophobic hair.
Grom nodded his hull, before he said “Ah, that head came off M3, then. Anyway, is there anything you want to talk about while we wait?”
I shook my head as I replied “Not really. I think I’ll try some of the snacks that came with the boat, to be honest.” thinking of the many different flavors I’d seen, almost certainly unique to this habitat.
Grom simply waved me on towards the passenger cabin as he kept looking out at the water, doubtless surveying what the other mes were getting up to. I didn’t pay much attention to that, the other mes would arrive when they arrived. Prying open the cabinet, I quickly pulled out a bag of spicy cheese twists and started pulling it open.
A second or two later, I had access to the contents of the bag and started gleefully munching away. I was greatly enjoying the sharp, spicy flavor when another me arrived. A glance up at her swim suit let me identify her as M1 and I greeted her “Hi! Welcome aboard.”
The other me smiled “Yes, it’s good to be back.” before pausing for a moment as I munched another snack from the bag. Seeing this, M1 asked “Can I have one?”
I replied “Sure.” as I handed one of the crunchy treats over. M1 ate it, humming contentedly in response. Anticipating what was about to happen, I reached under the table. A moment later the other me reached over to grab another snack, and I stuck a fresh bag of the same snacks in her hand instead.
M1 chuckled as she retracted her prize, saying “Fair enough.”
There was a brief pause, before I mused aloud “I wonder if this table can show us what’s going on underwater? I want to know what the other versions of us are up to right now.”
Immediately the table activated its video screen mode, showing us a map of the reef and the six versions of me still swimming around down there looking for heads. Well, five of them were still looking; it seemed like M3 had found one and was starting to make her way back to the boat.
A mildly mischievous grin crossed my face as I got an idea for a prank, grabbing a snack from my bag as I walked out onto the deck of the boat. I didn’t have to wait long to see M3 pulling herself out of the water and starting to dry off. As she pulled herself upright and prepared to put her head on, I took the opportunity to stick a snack up each of her nostrils while she didn’t have a good view of what I was doing.
Of course, the instant that M3 put her head on and got sensory data from it, she immediately realized that her nose was obstructed. Blowing the snacks out, she rolled her eyes at me as I chuckled. After a moment we both made our way back to the boat’s passenger cabin, Grom following us in to watch the remaining five mes swimming around on the smart table’s display.
The rest of me found their heads over the next five minutes and gradually made their way back to the boat, taking their seat in the passenger cabin to try the snacks and watch the display as they relaxed after the exciting activity. As soon as the seventh me climbed back aboard, M2 asked “Hey, why don’t we greet M5 when she gets back to the boat? We can all give her a big hug when she gets here as a consolation prize.”
I sprang to my feet as I replied “You know? That sounds like an excellent idea!” making my way to the deck of the boat, followed by the other six of me and Grom. Soon enough the last of me had made her way to the boat, and as soon as she had her head on I darted forwards and pulled M5 into a hug. The rest of me joined in even as M5 squeaked in excitement at being pulled into a mass of warmth and affection.
Then Grom wrapped our entire group hug in his tentacles and tugged us in tight. There was a brief moment of simply enjoying each other’s affection before Grom asked “Want to get wet again?”
I replied “Sure?” as did a bare majority of the other mes, and before we knew it Grom had shoved our entire hug huddle off the end of the boat and back into the water. Untangling ourselves required several seconds, and I caught a glimpse of Grom doubled over in laughter a bit away from the giant ball of me.
In a somewhat joking tone M2 fired off by radio “After him! Tickle him into submission!” and we all began swimming in pursuit of the robot squid in search of retaliation for him dunking all of us.
Of course, the big problem with that was simply that Grom’s morph was far more maneuverable in the water than ours. So he swam rings around us with ease until we were all thoroughly tuckered out, hauling ourselves back onto the deck of the boat to rest. After a few moments of recovery time to replenish my Oxygen reserves, M4 called out “Boat, can we get lunch out here?”
Immediately the boat replied “Certainly. Delivery drones bearing your meals are now en route.”
As we processed that food was en route, Grom noted “Anyway, I hope you enjoyed your exercise?”
I just groaned, noting “It was fun, but some warning would have been appreciated Grom.”
Grom nodded his hull, replying “Apologies. With how much you tease yourselves I made an assumption about acceptable conduct that was less than accurate.”
Another me (I didn’t care which right now) replied “Yeah...” before she said “Anyway, I’m going to go wait in the passenger cabin.”
Slowly we all filtered back to the couches around the table. I grabbed a bottle of some liquor I didn’t recognize and poured myself a small glass as I noted “So, wonder when the meal will get here.”
The display on the table activated again as I spoke, and we all looked as it suddenly displayed a map of the entire east cylinder of Cabana. Immediately my attention was drawn to the highlighted icons showing the location of both our boat and the delivery drone currently making its way to us across the habitat’s rotational axis. There was also an Estimated Time of Arrival counter, indicating that our meals were to be expected within about four minutes.
Seeing this, M1 asked “Well, is there anything we want to talk about while we wait?”
I shrugged as no topic immediately came to mind. The rest of me similarly turned a blank. Then Grom asked “Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask, but are you planning on re-merging into a single Madeline Zargosty? Not that I don’t like having eight of you to share company with, but I worry that you might end up like Shen.”
I thought for a moment, before replying “Personally, I’m fine with getting merged. That said, I think it can wait until the end of the vacation. Being part of a litter is an interesting experience, and one I want to savor while there’s still no pressure from our profession.”
M1 nodded in assent, replying “Yeah, that about covers my opinion too. There being eight of us has been nice for relaxing, but unless we need to go one identity fireteam again it’s not something I want to deal with in a professional capacity.” as I slugged down my drink, the gentle fuzz of cyanide coursing through my system already starting.
M3 spoke up next, noting “The rest of you can merge if you want, but I’m going to stay separate personally. I just don’t really feel comfortable with becoming part of a single identity, and that’s really all there is to it.”
And so the rest of me weighed in in the brief time before our meal arrived. As it turned out M3 was the only me who didn’t want to merge up with the rest of us, but even the mes that did want to integrate felt that it could wait until after the vacation.
On his part, Grom simply nodded as he replied “Thank you for clearing that up, Madelines Zargosty. Anyway, I do believe our meals are about to arrive.” gesturing to the map showing the current location of the delivery drones.
Sure enough the drone pulled to a landing on the deck of our boat, leaving behind a brown paper bag full of food. From the looks of things they’d put their own spin on an ancient dish known as Pad Thai, and I for one was definitely planning to enjoy it.
The End.
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