The gate was a modest-sized stone affair with a curved arch topped by a roughly hewn carving of a mallet and chisel. There were guards manning the iron bound doors. One of them quickly scanned her before moving on to study a man wheeling a barrowful of sacks behind her. Sera gave a smile to the other guard who was still looking at her and he straightened, clasping his halberd tighter against his shining chest plate. A trace of a smile lingered on his lips and she stopped to ask him a question.

“Praytell, where are the most scenic spots near town?” she asked. “I’m hoping to gather some mushrooms while I do some sightseeing.” She figured that she could trade the mushrooms to earn some money while she checked out the in game nature. It would be entertaining and profitable and would kill two birds with one stone. Sera smiled, proud at herself for being so efficient.

The guards smile wavered as he looked at her until he caught sight of the sword on her belt. Then he smiled broadly and said, “You may find edible mushrooms in the forests south of the town. Keep to the path parallel to the wall and do not venture too far into the forest, there are wild animals that roam there. If you follow it all the way to the end, you will come to a very nice glen for which the town is named, near the cliffs under the keep.”

“Thank you kindly,” Sera said, nodding at him. He tipped his helmet at her, then returned to a stiff position to guard the gate.

She passed through the gates, and wandered along the wall. It was early morning in the game and the sun was warm on her skin. Sera looked around to make sure no one was watching then gave a little skip in the air. It felt exhilarating to be out of the town and not training like she was obviously supposed to be doing. She had followed the rules her entire life and always tried to blend in. But here, she could use antiquated English without the NPCs batting an eyelid and do whatever she wanted! There was no need to follow any rules or regulations, or bother about being monitored. So what if everything was made of 1s and 0s, it felt so real!

Sera spotted a tree and ran towards it, her arms outstretched. She wrapped her arms around it and leaned her cheek against its trunk. The rough bark scraped her skin and she could smell a slightly woody scent and hear the rustling of the leaves above her. No little green sign popped up to tell her to unhand the tree. This was heaven!

Sera released a soft sigh and stepped back. She gave the tree a small pat and began looking around for the path the guard had mentioned. It was easy to spot between the sparse foliage on the outskirts of the forest. She followed the little deer track along the wall, stopping now and then to pick a delicious looking mushroom. There were plenty all about her, nestled in the hollows between tree roots or growing from tree stumps. The first one she picked was a yellowish mushroom with green spots that caught her eye. When she pulled at the slender stems, several green notifications appeared:

Journeyman shrooms x 1

These mushrooms are packed full with nutrients that will boost your vitality. Eat a couple when you’re injured or sick and restore your health!

Level: All levels.

Class: Common

Use: Restores 5 health points per item over 5 seconds.

Side Effect: Possible hyperactivity if eaten without illness.

Price: 5 coppers a piece

New Skill: Herbology Level 1

This skill enables you to harvest herbs and basic plant life. As your skill grows higher you will be able to harvest larger amounts and more varieties as well as spot obscure items that can be harvested and turned into useful goods.

Effect: Ability to pick and identify common herbs.

Status: 1% progress to next level.

Great! Sera began picking all the mushrooms she spotted as she walked along the trail. Most were brownish gold in colour with scalloped flat heads (Golden Fans, tasty, + health by five points, worth 2 coppers) or smooth white little button tops (Common mushroom, plain tasting, + health by 3 points, 1 copper), but she did manage to get another two bundles of Journeymen Shrooms, which made her quite happy. When she had filled most of her slots in her bag she began to hurry along the path, eager to reach the glen.

She found it quite by accident. By this time the path she had been following had tapered out and the town wall had disappeared behind the trees. Sera began looking around to pick up the path again or catch sight of the wall. She was so engrossed in peering between the trees that she failed to notice that the ground beneath her had started to slope until she tried to take a step, missed it and began to fall head over heels, crashing through the underbrush.

“Argh!” Sera cried as she tumbled down to the bottom of the glen and splashed into a fast-flowing stream. “Drat!”

She was soaking wet but had luckily avoided being stabbed by her own sword. Her bag was also still slung over her shoulders and her map remained its virtual dry self. She put her items away and got to her feet gingerly. Something pulsed at the top of her vision, drawing her eye. A green health bar that had been almost unnoticeable in the background had come to the foreground. It was depleted by a fraction and the green had turned very faintly yellow. A red notification scrolled unobtrusively at the top of her vision.

Impact! (5 damage received).

“No kidding,” Sera said. There were scrapes and bruises on her arms and her pants—she wore a plain brown tunic and brown trousers—were ripped at the elbows and knees. There was even a bump on her head that throbbed slightly when she touched it. Time to sample the goods, Sera thought.

She pulled open her bag and drew out one of the Journeyman Shrooms. After some slight hesitation during which she contemplated whether she’d need to cook the mushroom, she decided to just give it a go and popped the raw thing into her mouth. It felt spongy and melted on her tongue before she could identify what it tasted like. It was like eating slightly more substantial air, or fairy floss that wasn’t sweet. Before her eyes, her health bar slowly increased to full length and a green notification popped up at the bottom of her vision. Her aches and pains stopped and her wounds faded though she could still make out faint scratches under the dirt.

+5 to health

“That was easy,” Sera said. These mushrooms were quite handy.

She dusted her fingers off and looked about the glen. It was lush and green with small gray and brown river stones gleaming along the tinkling stream and colourful dragonflies darting about the reeds. Furry patches of moss grew along the banks and sunshine dappled the water, shining in long beams of light through the leafy branches of bushes that extended over the top of the glen. Sera kicked off her plain leather shoes and began to walk through the stream, squeezing the slushy mud between her toes.

“Now this is what I call living the dream,” she said gleefully. If she tried this in real life, she’d have to worry about mutant fish nibbling her toes or sewage and pollutants contaminating her skin. Either that, or the brook would be cordoned off for preservation or because it was on someone’s private property.

If there was nothing else she could enjoy in this world but the pristine nature, it was still be worth every minute, Sera thought to herself.

She was about to break into song when she caught sight of something strange. It was a little flicker of blue flame that hovered by the side of a tree. She stared at it for a moment, wondering whether it was a will-o’-the-wisp, and if so, what its presence meant. She tried tapping on it but all that came up was a notification:

Spirit Orb. Regeneration in 28 minutes.

Fascinating. But not much use.

Sera was about to turn away when she spotted the most tantalising bunch of mushrooms she had seen so far in the game. They didn’t look as pretty as the previous ones she had come across, being quite knobbly and rough and partially exposed in the soil under tree roots, like hurriedly buried turds. But if they were anything like their real world counterparts…

Sera splashed through the water and climbed the bank to examine them. Her excitement grew when she caught a whiff of a subtle, almost-sweet aroma of onions, garlic and soil, despite the unnatural blue glow that surrounded the mushrooms.

“Are these for real?” Sera whispered. She reached out and tapped the little fungi.

Scrumptious Trufflelumpscious x 1

Aren’t you lucky! These beloved mushrooms are the blue bloods of their species and are exceedingly rare and hard to find unless you have a pet hog. Oozing with scrumptious taste and powerful pheromones, these truffles may be eaten as is, used as an ingredient for cooking, or prepared for potion-making to make a powerful aphrodisiac. Use wisely as they attract and entrance not only eager humans but also hungry hogs.

Level: All levels.

Class: Uncommon

Use: Food item or potion ingredient

Side Effect: Irresistible attraction

Price: 1 silver a piece

“Yes!” Sera squealed. Real truffles in the game! She had never even tasted one before in real life! She was so excited she immediately yanked at the mushrooms. But they wouldn’t come away in her hands. A notice popped up.

May only be harvested with Herbology Skill of >= 2

“Really?” Sera stared at the notification, thinking hard for a moment until the solution occurred to her. “All right, just wait for it!”

She immediately began to search the surrounding foliage for more mushrooms. The surrounding forest was full of will-o’-the-wisps, but not so many mushrooms though there were plenty of shrubs, some of which she thought might actually be herbs. She began to pick every single one she could lay her hands on. It took her almost two hours of in game time—which translated to about an hour of real time—to pick enough to raise her level. By the time the sun was past its zenith, she had raised her skill level to Herbology Level 2. It was a bit of a waste that she forced to leave most of what she picked where she found them since she didn’t have enough slots in her bag to store everything, but Sera made sure to choose only the most valuable varieties to carry in order to sell them later.

After a glance at the digital clock in a corner of her view which indicated the time in the real world—it was about 6 a.m., she had spent almost three hours in the game—Sera quickly made her way back to the glowing blue mushrooms.

This time, the cluster of truffles came away easily in her hands, leaving a spray of faintly luminescent blue powder on the ground surrounding the crumbly earth. She lifted the handful to her nose and inhaled slowly, taking in the intoxicating smell of the fungi. It was amazing. Whoever had made this game had obviously put a lot of effort into making sure that some things looked and felt like they did in real life, aside from the blue glow. It must have taken years of effort to get the technology so far.

Something rustled in the forest, interrupting Sera as she opened her bag to store the truffles.

“Hello?” Sera called out, wondering if it was an NPC or a player. She knew that if it was a player she could fall prey to being killed. PvP-ing was a common past time for competitive players who enjoyed dueling each other or bullying others who were lower down the leveling ladder. This far out of town, there would be no guards to come to her rescue and stop her from getting hurt. “Is anyone there?”

For long seconds no sound drifted to her ears. Sera stopped paying attention and began to turn back to her truffles.

That’s when the wild boar charged at her.

Attack!

Feral Razortusk Boar Level 5 sighted.

It hammered the ground beneath its feet on the opposite bank, then leaped crashing down into the water, aiming right at her. Sera had barely any time to read the text and register what it was when the pig stabbed her with its sharp short tusks and flung her straight up into the air.

You are skewered by the Feral Razortusk Boar! (15 Damage received)

The wind whistled in her ears and she saw an arc of blood following the trail of her body while she plummeted down onto the ground. Her heart hammered in her ears and her vision whitened at the edges. A melodic drumming that sounded like battle music swelled at the edge of her hearing, turning louder as she focused on it.

When she hit the ground her health bar pulsed yet again, and the colour that remained in it turned a nasty yellow.

Impact! (10 Damage received)

Sera was still conscious though her body was a mass of pain. She had landed on the other side of the stream from where she had been standing. The truffles had fallen to the ground and were being devoured greedily by the boar. It snorted and made disgusting piggy noises of enjoyment. Sera got to her feet and pulled out the sword at her belt. It felt heavier and seemed longer than before, now that she was actually planning to wield it. The pig rolled its beady black eyes at her, tracking her movements without turning until she aimed the sword at it. Then it snorted, spun around on its small hooves, and charged at her with quick galloping hops.

A clang sounded as it knocked her sword out of its way. This time, its tusks pinned her to the edge of the bank.

Double goring! (30 damage received)

Sera locked eyes with the boar. She still had her sword in her hand and she used it to whack the boar as hard as she could on its side.

You smack the Feral Razortusk Boar! (5 damage inflicted)

It squealed in pain then withdrew slightly and charged again, pushing her harder against the bank and shaking its head violently.

Double goring! Critical Hit! (30 damage received)

The pungent smell of wet boar was overwhelming but so was the metallic scent of blood. A third double goring impact from the boar caused Sera to shudder, the pain was bad but the helplessness was worse. The sword slipped from her hand to the ground and her health bar drained clean away.

You have died.

The words pulsed in red letters in front of Sera’s vision and the world faded to a pale bluish-gray filter.

“Crap!” Sera’s voice sounded exactly the same except that it had a slight echo. Something lifted her high up in the air and she looked down to see her body fall into the mud as the Razortusk strolled away disinterestedly. “You damn pig! Just wait till I get back!”

As furious as she was, Sera could not control her incorporeal body. No matter how much she wanted to wrench herself back to the riverbank and start pounding on the boar, her body, or rather, spirit, wouldn’t obey her. She kept drifting higher and higher until the world faded to black.

When she came to, she was in a small, open air church surrounded by low, stone walls. On either side of her were pews of NPCs on their knees, their hands uplifted as they prayed to a bright glowing orb at the front of the church. It levitated at the top of an ancient looking tree that seemed to be wrought by long, twisted vines which crept through the grass to intertwine with the pews and surrounding church walls. Nobody seemed to be able to see Sera.

A notification appeared:

You are a spirit. You may find your corpse and wait to resurrect. There is no health penalty for players below level 10.

Sera looked about her and found she could still see the globe on the top right of her screen. There was the image of a skull hovering over the map approximately where she had been before she had died. Sera gritted her teeth and began to fly in the corresponding direction, moving her incorporeal body by sheer strength of will. She passed over the churchgoers like a ghost and zoomed down the gravel road. Thankfully the church was outside town but not too far from where she had died.

She spotted the boar before she found her body. It was rooting on the bank, near the same tree under which she had found the truffles. Like the NPCs, it didn’t seem to notice her approach. Sera slipped down the bank to her fallen body’s side and crouched down to look at it. It was the first time she had been face to face with her in-game self since she had passed through the portal and it was a bit of a shock to encounter.

The figure in front of her was sprawled on its side with one arm flung free and the other squashed under its body. There was a dark pool of blood under it, and viscera had fallen out of its pierced abdomen. Though it looked gruesome, the details were not as clear as what Sera imagined it would appear like in real life. There was a fuzziness over the gap in the abdomen that made the intestines identifiable but not too gruesome. The game had PG-rated the violence. Sera frowned, wondering at the wisdom of that. Killing and dying felt more or less real, so why didn’t it look like it?

She crouched to look into the face. It was exactly her own face, except with glassy eyes and a trickle of blood at the corner of its mouth. The hair even looked like her own hair, shoulder length with a slight wave and dark, as far as she could see in the washed out colours. Sera sighed. Her bag was around her shoulders and her sword was by her hand. When she did resurrect she probably would not have lost any possessions if someone didn’t come along and take them.

Another few seconds ticked by and Sera decided it would be a good idea to figure out where to go when she resurrected. She peered over the bank of the stream at the boar. It was rooting about under the tree. She was willing herself to float across the stream to look for another escape route when a countdown magnified in her vision. It had been there all the time, she realised, she just hadn’t noticed it. The numbers flickered as they changed…4…3…2…1…

Sera woke to a general ache throughout her body. She got to her feet as quickly as possible and headed to the opposite bank to the boar, hoping to make her escape.

But it was not to be.

The moment she woke, she knew the boar had detected her. An angry squeal and the pound of hoof beats reached her ears. Despite herself, Sera looked over her shoulder as she reached the bank, arms outstretched to climb it.

Attack!

You are under attack by a Feral Razortusk Boar Level 5.

Double goring! (30 damage received)

“No!” Sera screamed. Her body jerked forward and pain bloomed in her back. “You big brute!”

She turned as the boar retreated. This time when it charged again she brought the longsword up with both hands and braced her legs against the soil of the bank. The boar dove at her without even blinking and skewered itself on the sword with the force of its charge. With a sharp pitched squeal it withdrew and slid off.

You stab a Feral Razortusk Boar! (30 damage inflicted)

“Oh my!” Sera gasped. She was as shocked as the boar at the damage she had done. She quickly got into the same position. Luckily the boar wasn’t very intelligent, or it just didn’t want to give up. It charged her again, this time at a different angle, but Sera knew what to do. She repeated her move, making sure the pointy end of the sword was the first thing the boar contacted.

You stab a Feral Razortusk Boar! (30 damage inflicted)

This was awesome. There was no other word for it. She could see the boar’s health bar and it was almost halfway depleted. She looked at her own to compare. It seemed like hers might be longer. She squinted at it and the bar lengthened by a fraction. It was growing!

Her sword was knocked away in a clatter of tusks and metal. Oh no!

Your sword has been critically damaged.

Her sword burst into a swarm of metallic flakes that fluttered away in a breeze.

“Oh for the love of—” Sera began to curse, before the force of the boar hitting her knocked all the breath from her lungs.

Double goring! (30 damage received)

The boar wasted no time in finishing the job. Before she could even think of punching it or doing something else but stand there, it delivered its final blow.

Double goring! Critical Hit! (30 damage received)

You have died.

Sera would have kicked the Razortusk on her way up if her foot had been corporeal. As it was, her leather boot passed through it without ruffling a hair on its head. The boar gave a satisfied grunt and moved on, trampling over her body in the process.

“Arrgh!” Her spirit’s scream echoed noiselessly through the glen.

The next time she resurrected, Sera tried to sneak past the Razortusk and avoid fighting but somehow, maybe because she was too close to it, it got to her and killed her even faster than before. This happened a couple more times.

Each time she resurrected, Sera got a few more paces away before the boar found her. She even discovered she could resurrect further from where her body had fallen. It would have been easier if she hadn’t been forced to go slowly while climbing the bank, or if the boar had decided to wander somewhere further away. But it seemed to like to linger near that particular tree, probably because the truffles themselves kept regenerating there.

Sera felt frustrated and trapped. It was as if the hog had a personal vengeance against her. The pain was so sharp and real that by her third death, Sera had begun to liken it to torture and began to wonder why she was playing such a traumatising game. Her rational mind told her she could log out at anytime, yet her stubbornness kept her going and would not let her quit. She wouldn’t be defeated by a virtual pig!

Finally, after what must have been her fifth death, while her spirit waited by the now crimson stream—her blood had soaked through the earth and into the water—Sera spotted another way to get out of the trench of death as she had begun to call it. She had realised that the previous spot she had used before and had attempted to get to again after her first few deaths, would not work since it was too close to the pig. Subsequently, she had scouted the terrain further upstream and attempted to drag herself in that direction in the short few seconds she was alive each time before the boar got to her. It had paid off. Sera had just spied a larger than average bush with stout overhanging branches that might be within reach if she jumped as hard as she could. Just before her spirit dissolved into her body, she worked out a plan.

As soon as she felt herself resurrect, Sera reached into her bag and tossed out some of the mushrooms she had picked away from her, then crammed several handfuls of Journeyman Shrooms into her mouth. A buzzy feeling immediately began to spread through her and she sped as fast as possible to the bush. An indignant grunt behind her almost distracted her but she kept her resolve and grabbed onto the low-hanging branches of the bush and hauled herself up and out of the glen.

Only then did she spare a glance for the Razortusk. She peered cautiously over the edge of the steep slope and saw that it had charged towards her but given up when it couldn’t catch up and then been side-tracked by the mushrooms she had thrown aside for it.

“Greedy pig,” Sera said, wishing she had some sort of ranged weapon to attack the boar while it ate. Then, just in case it decided to come after her after its short meal, she fled in the direction of the path, eager to return to the safe confines of the town. She stepped onto the small sandy trail with a sigh of relief and hurried along it.

Ten paces later, she was face to face with another feral Razortusk.

***

To say that Sera was fed up with pain and death would have been an understatement.

The second boar was not the last one she faced while she ran through the forest—it seemed that every wil-o'-the-wisp that she had previously encountered had been replaced by a fractious hog. Sera soon realised that the spirit orbs she had seen earlier must have been leftover from Feral Razortusks that another player had killed before she arrived. She survived longer by avoiding them once she knew this, but no matter how she tried to zig zag, outrun and sometimes to fight them with surrounding sticks or branches, Sera ended up dying a few more times when the buzz from the Journeyman Shrooms ran out. The good thing was she gained several new skills in the process, including Dodge and Sprint.

You have gained a new Achievement: Circle of Death

You have successfully died ten times within the space of ten minutes each time around! This is an unusual achievement indeed! Your spirit has gained the ability to achieve warp speed to reach your carcass and resurrection penalty time is now two seconds shorter.

Sera rolled her eyes at the notification as she got to her feet after her latest resurrection.

Without wasting time, she ran in the direction of the town gate. She was so close! Behind her thundered the hooves of the latest Razortusk she had encountered. Fear prickled down her spine and gave her feet wings and she sped as fast as possible towards the entrance.

As soon as she got close enough, the guards noticed her and came out, their halberds pointed low. She sprinted past them and collapsed just behind the gateway, then watched as they stabbed and slashed the boar to death with practiced movements. Her stamina bar—a blue one to the side of her health bar—steadily replenished while she panted for breath. She had gotten several notifications of her stamina running low during her run. Usually it happened just before she slowed down and got killed.

“Getting mighty aggressive lately aren’t they,” one guard said to the other as they strolled back.

The other guard—the smiley one—Sera noticed, nodded to him then bent down to speak to her.

“You all right ma’am? I thought you had proper training, what with that sword and all. If you were being chased, why didn’t you use the Recalling Stone to teleport back?”

Sera’s jaw dropped. The Recalling Stone? She fumbled with her bag and drew it out. The stone lay in her palm, round and warm and full of the promise of safety.

She was such an idiot to have forgotten it!

“Uh… well I just wanted the practice,” she lied.

New Skill: Subterfuge Level 1

You have discovered the skill of subterfuge! With increased awareness and practice of subterfuge, you will unlock additional subskills that will help you become a master of misdirection!

Effect: Ability to perform basic subterfuge.

Status: 1% progress to next level.

Alignment: 1% Dark

New Subskill: Deception Level 1

More subtle than hacking away at someone, deception is a useful technique to get what you want. With increased proficiency, you will be able to bluff your way through anything without breaking a sweat.

Effect: Ability to deceive others (includes NPCs and susceptible players)

Status: 1% progress to next level.)

The guard’s skeptical expression slowly smoothened away and Sera saw the moment he decided to believe her.

“Well, I guess that’s one way to do it.” He walked back to his post and took it, straightening into the same severe pose he had been in previously.

Sera read through the notification and frowned.

There were a few odd things about it. Besides the fact that the game had detected her lie—though, considering how closely it was monitoring her physiology, it wasn’t surprising that it could apply lie-detection technology—her little white lie had gained her an actual skill, Subterfuge, which had been listed to be effective against both players and NPCs. In addition, there was a new section about alignment, and apparently… this skill had put her towards the direction of being… dark?

She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

It had been a while since Sera had begun playing so she decided to figure it all out later. A glance at the real world clock showed her that it was past her normal wake up time. She quickly logged out.

The world of Elysia faded away and Sera found herself in the same circular room she had seen the very first time she had put on the nanonode. However instead of a dull gray, the motes were colourful now and danced about to form characters and scenery from Elysia on the curved screen before her. Her eyes skimmed over the brilliant colours in appreciation, and when a snapshot of a town resembling Hearthwilde’s central square appeared on the screen, she felt her heart leap in recognition. The town had truly been a beautiful place, the kind that didn’t exist anymore except in history books and fairy tales.

As Sera gazed at a cosy firelit scene at an inn, and then at an eagle’s-eye view of a lake town, she realised that the cycle of pain and death she had just gone through couldn’t quite cancel out the excitement and awe she had felt when she had stepped foot into Elysia. It had been a long time since she had felt such positive sensations. In fact, Sera realised with a disturbing feeling, even the fear she had experienced while skydiving and facing the Razortusks had made her feel more alive than she had for a very long time!

Ping!

Sera glanced to the side and saw movement in a corner of the room. She strolled over to have a look and saw Gilbert’s log in along with hers beneath it. That was new. While she studied her log in picture and name, the notification of a new message that had popped up beside Gilbert’s name turned gray.

Again! It was still happening!

Sera smacked Gilbert’s log in name and a prompt appeared, asking for his password. As she stared at the blank space, a notification appeared, notifying her that her biometric data did not match his profile and that she couldn’t log into it.

Frustration and sadness boiled over, dampening the good mood she had experienced just moments ago. Sera bit her lip and removed the nanonode.

“Good morning, Sera,” Perry greeted her. “I trust you slept well?”

“Actually, I began playing a virtual reality game, when I put this nanonode on Perry. But I did sleep well before that, thank you.”

There was a short silence while Perry digested this new information and filed it away in his system.

“Excellent! Shall I read out this morning’s news to you?”

“No thank you, Perry.” Sera didn’t want to hear any negativity so early in the morning. The daily news was full of that these days. She walked to the washroom and began to go about her morning routine, trying to remember the tune of the song from Hearthwilde’s tavern. She wished she had done more than just peek through the door.

“Very good. How about today’s notifications? You have a new message from Monica.”

Sera nodded absently, and began to brush her teeth. “Go ahead, Perry.”

There was a soft click, then Perry read Monica’s message out. He tried to emulate her enthusiasm, but it just sounded wrong with his crisp new accent and automated intonation:

“Received at 8.23 a.m: ‘Hey, Sera! I thought about what you said and I did some research. I think I know what those messages are about. It’s a bit weird, so I think I better tell you in person. Anyway, I just thought I’d let you know in case you were dwelling on them. I know I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about them, if it were me. I’ve got to go now, a meeting is starting in like, five minutes. I’ll see you for coffee later all right? Ciao!’”

“Replay!” Sera gasped as she spat out toothpaste and rinsed her mouth. She dried her lips on a towel and listened to the message again.

So, Monica thought she’d found an explanation for those strange messages? Sera still couldn’t imagine what it might be. But now that she had heard her message, she felt newly re-energised.

The afternoon couldn’t come soon enough!

“Call an autocar, Perry. I’m going out in half an hour.”