《Hellish: Misfit Misadventures》It's a Latte to Take In

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She stared at me, and I stared back, our eyes unblinking. Her obvious discomfort and disdain only locked my eyes on her further – it was like a wreck I couldn’t look away from, even though I knew I was making the moment worse. Something broke the dazes we were in and she began to flick her eyes back and forth between me and her giant tome, the words on those pages safe and secure, far away from the stranger creeping her out. She was desperately trying to ignore me but couldn’t quite escape into the book. I tried to tell myself I just have that effect on women, but somehow, I couldn’t convince myself.

I set my coffee down on the short table in front of me, the clink of ceramic shaking me from the trance. My hand, now freed from the mug, automatically rustled in my pocket, confirming for the twelfth time that my contraband saving grace was still there. My fingers grazed over the metal, still cool despite the long trek jangling in my pocket, the grooves of the runes carved painstakingly into spelled steel. I thank Old Sage, my one and only friend, that he had given these to me. He was a retired demon hunter; one I’d often visited growing up. He’d always been kind to me, and I always considered him the parental figure I never really got. I wondered what he would think of what I was about to do.

How do I even go about this? Surely, no one had even attempted what I was about to. It was colossally stupid, and counted on one single thing to work, which was purely luck. I would simply have to be ridiculously lucky to pull this off. I could already feel the sweat beading on my forehead, my palms damp and clammy around the cold metal. I guessed there was no way to know if this would work until I tried it. What else did I have to lose?

I stood, my thighs already shaking as I pushed into a vertical position. I kept my right hand in my pocket, gripping my stolen ace up my sleeve so tight, I wondered dumbly if I could dent it. I knew that was impossible, but if it were to happen, it’d be right now. My knee smacked into the edge of the coffee table in front of me, sloshing the rest of my coffee around in its mug. I’d left half of it, unable to stomach anything after what I’d seen. The demon’s inky black cloud beckoned me from across the café, swirling and drifting lazily about.

I didn’t remember telling my feet to walk forward, but they must have taken the steps, because before I realized I’d moved, I was standing face to face with her. She was still ignoring me, eyes pointedly down into her book. That was fortunate, as I was sure my face was as pale as death.

“A mark for your thoughts?” I croaked.

Her hands tightened on the cover with her wrists twisted almost beneath the book.

What a stupid one liner. There’s no way she would respond to that. I needed her wrist to be free, to move away from the massive book shielding her. Her aura became more electric, irritated, no longer the calm, smooth cloud I’d seen so far. She was annoyed with me.

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“A mark for your thoughts, stranger,” she said, shifting her position to a straight backed huff. She lifted her icy gaze to mine, frying my brain with her direct stare. Her hands slapped the pages of the book; she smiled wryly out of the corner of her mouth when I’d visibly jumped. “But I’d give you ten to keep them to yourself.”

That was the opening I needed. Her wrists now open to the air instead of under a mound of bound paper, I whipped the handcuffs out of my pocket, and slapped them onto the closest wrist before anyone around me could react.

The metal was carved extravagantly with designs, but not just artistic ones. They were runes, spells that choked a demon’s power, their magic, their ability to transform. Immediately after the metal touched her skin, her aura noticeably shrank, squeezing just above her skin like a dark outline around her. I clicked it shut and cuffed the other end to my wrist. It felt like ice was strapped to my wrist, which must have been a side effect of the magic. I’d never experienced the Hunter’s rune magic before, so it wasn’t like I would know.

“What the fuck did you just do, asshole?” she spat, twisting violently, inadvertently tossing the book onto the ground, knocking over and spilling her minuscule espresso she had just placed onto the edge.

I grinned at her. I’d trapped a powerful demon! Now all I had to do was bring her to Queen Selissa as proof of my competency, and I’d be back in the Hunter’s Guild by the morning. This was my ticket to redemption.

“I’m taking you to the Queen, miscreant demon!” I shouted gleefully at her, wiggling our attached wrists. The short chain jingled pleasantly, as if it was excited too.

“You’re a fucking dumbass!” she shouted back, her tiny features twisting in anger. Then, before I could respond, her face changed. She peered closely at the handcuffs, then back at me, her eyes narrowed.

I stared back at her, and pulled my cuff closer to me, forcing her stand. She stumbled, thrown off balance, and glared at me once more. Her black as night eyes seemed to stare through my soul. Did she even have an iris, or was it all pupil? It was impossible to tell, the effect of her undivided attention rather unnerving.

I glanced around the room; all of the bystanders had stopped their merry chatter; the bustle of the café had gone entirely silent as they watched the events unfold.

“Nothing to fear, citizens, the demon has been apprehended,” I chimed, feigning the confidence I wished I had. “I’ll be taking it to the Queen presently.”

She scowled; possibly at the ‘it’ comment. I didn’t mean anything by it, she certainly looked female to me, but it was a habit. I was representing the Demon Hunter Guild, and that’s how they always referred to demons. It wasn’t personal.

She stood defiantly, her wrist pulling on our shared chain.

“Follow me, demon,” I said, hope welling within my heart and expanding it for the first time in years. My feet bounced with a lightness I had never before felt.

“Like I have an option,” she grumbled under her breath.

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I elected to ignore her, and instead, decided to enjoy the fact that she was cooperating. I was well on my way to redemption.

The rest of the crowd stared at us, too shocked to act. They parted as we walked, cuff to cuff, through them and towards the doorway. The barista had been in the midst of pouring milk into a coffee when I’d cuffed the demon, and the milk had overflowed, the carafe empty of the liquid which was now all over the counter and the floor. He still hadn’t recovered. My apprehended demon meekly walked beside me out of the café and into the street.

The demon followed cooperatively behind me, even shutting the door as we exited. Now out on the street, I took one look towards the gargantuan towers ahead of us at the center of the city, the walls of the castle beckoning. I grit my teeth, determined to keep plowing forward. I would be damned if I failed now. My eyes flicked back over to my prisoner.

She looked at me, her eyes big, innocent, and baleful. “It seems that I must do as you require,” she said pitifully. “Take me to the Queen, Sir Dumbass.” She blinked sweetly.

I would’ve laughed at her sarcastic demeanor had it not been at my expense. “Follow me, dear maiden,” I gestured in turn, outdoing her sarcasm with even more. “Your knight in shining armor shall lead the way.”

She didn’t answer, instead began walking ahead of me, her wrist pulling at our chain, the links protesting and screeching together as she exerted force on it. We began our winding journey through the city to the front doors of the castle, side by side.

We twisted through the main market area, the busy streets of the capitol pushing us around. The handcuffs had to be obvious, as we got many strange looks, and most kept their distance from us, the general population unwilling to intervene with whatever was going on. Though, that may have had something to do with the deathly stare the demon was giving off to anyone who dared to look in our direction. Whatever the reason, I was thankful for the wide berth we received from the crowd. It made our travel much easier.

With wide eyes, I took in all the sights. The farthest I’d traveled was to the retiree’s village, which was not much more than a few farms and gentle rolling hills in the countryside, with a few cottages dotting up and down those grassy knolls. It was nothing like this, the rush of a city, the streets teeming with life. Every sight and sound was new to me, almost overwhelming the senses. The smells of bakeries, wafting sugary treats through the air, the sound of the masses tapping their feet on the cobblestone roads as we walked by, the shouts of merchants boasting their competing wares. It was all intoxicating to me, the country boy who had rarely left the Hunter’s compound. The demon seemed bored of it, though, barely noticing the people around us. She wound in and around the crowd expertly, especially since they gave us plenty of space. We went on like this, and I allowed her to lead the way. She must be compliant, knowing what sort of hold I had on her with the anti-demon handcuffs. In any case, she was heading towards the palace, maneuvering the crowds with the ease of a local. As long as she continued this way, I would let her lead.

We traveled this way for several minutes in silence, until she broke the uneasy truce of quiet.

“So, you’re a Demon Hunter, then?” she asked conversationally, her words piercing through the din of the city from her short height. Her head barely met my shoulder, even though I was of average height myself.

“Of course,” I said, bristling. She didn’t need to know the truth. If she was afraid of me, I needed to make sure she stayed that way until we were in the safety of the castle. Just because she was cooperating now, didn’t mean she would stay that way. “I’m the best they’ve ever seen.”

“What makes you so sure you’re the best?” she said, a giggle echoing through her words.

I could tell she was trying to hold it back, and this only infuriated me, even though I knew I was lying to her. Was it really so unbelievable that I could be a proficient and successful demon hunter, even to a stranger? I struggled to think of something that would terrify and impress her. I remembered something Old Sage had mentioned to me in one of his stories.

“I know of the Demon Realm portals. I’ve even been there. The first and only Demon Hunter to cross them,” I boasted. Sage had said something about a portal existing not far from here. Of course, I didn’t know exactly where. Or how they worked. Or anything about the Demon Realm. Obviously, she didn’t need to know that.

“Oh really, now?” she asked, her faux interest piqued. “I bet you’re an expert mage, too.”

“You do have to be one, yes,” I said. “And I’m definitely the best ever, so sure.”

“I bet you’ve killed a lot of demons, too, expert best-ever Demon Hunter,” she teased, her tone simpering and sickly sweet. “Hunted those beyond the portals, and everything.”

I stiffened. The demon was clever, it knew that I was lying. It was teasing me, mocking me, making fun of everything I was trying to do. I don’t know what its plan was, but it surely spelled poorly for me. I didn’t know what to do, except to continue on forwards. Fake it until you make it, I guess.

“Obviously. How else would I know about the portals?”

I jerked the chain closer, as she had slowed in her pace. I had to keep moving, we were so close to the castle. We were inching closer and closer to the walls, so close to my goal. She didn’t respond to what I’d said, instead glaring at me in protest of my increased speed. If looks could kill, I’d have been dead long ago.

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