The moon glowed with quiet intensity, as if reflecting the anger and frustration of the one bathing in its silver light. Yuelong strolled through the gardens of Qianyang Summit.

He reached up towards the pear tree and plucked a small flower bud from its hanging branches. He looked up to the moon and compared the two. One was just a small, powerless bud from the earth, while the other was where the heavenly palace of Guanghan1 stood amongst the stars.

He sighed, and his mind unconsciously wandered back in time to the days of happiness…

“Shi-xiong!” cried Lanyue. "Why do you think Chang-E’2 was willing to leave this beautiful Earth to go to Guanghan palace?"

Lanyue picked up a fallen pear flower and threw it at Yuelong.

"If you ask me, who do I ask?" responded Yuelong.

"Well… I think she left because she hated Hou Yi for leaving her alone every day."

"Were you even listening during class? Chang-E’ left because she felt lonely?" Yuelong chuckled.

"That’s what shi-fu said, but what do you think?" Asked Lanyue, throwing another flower bud at him.

Yuelong paused for a moment before speaking. "I think she did it because she thought it was the right thing to do."

"Oh?"

"If she hadn’t eaten the pills of immortality, they’d have been stolen," Yuelong explained. "She was in a difficult situation. Protect the world and lose the one you love? Or stay with the one you love and see the world fall?"

"You and your righteousness again," Lanyue laughed. "When will you relax and do what your heart thinks is right?"

"It's true, though! I can't see it any other way!"

Lanyue looked at him with a solemn face, as if examining whether the person sitting next to him was a piece of cold steel or a warm living being. Then, he suddenly burst into soft giggles.

"What?" Yuelong huffed.

"It's…it's…nothing!" Lanyue clutched at his stomach, practically vibrating.

"Tell me." Yuelong’s eyes narrowed.

Lanyue was going to cry laughing. "No, no, really, it's nothing!"

"Nan Lanyue, you better tell me…" Yuelong started to stalk.

Yuelong leapt onto his shi-di and attacked his weak spot: his armpits.

"Tell me now!"

Lanyue tried to escape, but Yuelong was faster. He tackled Lanyue to the ground and pinned him under his body, tickling mercilessly.

In between mad laughter, Lanyue’s arms flailed against his attacker. Yuelong wasn’t having any of it. He locked Lanyue’s legs with his own. One hand pinned both of Lanyue’s wrists, and one hand wriggled its fingers all over his squirming shi-di.

"Sto-sto-stop, shi-xiong!” Lanyue begged. “I- I- I can't ta-take it anymore!"

"I won’t if don’t you tell me!"

"Alright! I'll tell you!" said Lanyue between gasps.

Yuelong stopped his teasing, exhausted himself. Propping himself up on his elbows, he suddenly looked into his shi-di's eyes. Under the soft moonlight, the tiny tint of amber in Lanyue's eyes appeared to be shining, almost like gold.

"Umm…shi-xiong?"

"What?"

"Don't you think you should get off? It's hard to talk like this."

Yuelong suddenly realized the awkward position that they were in and instantly climbed off of him. If it wasn’t for the coldness of the night, he wouldn't even have felt his face heating up.

"Look, pear blossoms in your hair!” Lanyue plucked out one that was stuck. “You look like a village auntie!" Lanyue once again burst into laughter.

The sound of Lanyue’s laughter faded into the night, forever preserved in Yuelong’s memories. Yixiao Zhenjun looked at the small bud between his fingers and the moon next to it. A brief smile formed on his face but vanished as fast as it came. Lanyue was one of the only people whom he felt comfortable around, one of the few people with whom he could be himself.

Crack—

Yixiao Zhenjun whipped his face around and focused his eyes on a thing behind a tree. “Who’s there?”

“It’s just me, Yuelong.”

A figure in light turquoise walked out from behind the tree. The moon shone on his fair skin and drew a clear outline of his face—the long, slanted eyes, thin lips, pointed chin. His long black hair was tied up in his silver crown, and a teal sword hung from his waist.

“Da-shi-xiong,” Yuelong bowed.

The man was Wu Xuanlong3, the eldest of Yuelong’s older martial brothers and the most senior of the disciples under Fan Haoren.

“I heard about what happened in Yanren hall earlier tonight…” Xuanlong said. “Do you…want to talk about it?”

Yuelong looked up at the moon and sighed. In his mind, he bitterly thought, Why should I? But his injured heart told him the why, that it was not safe to bottle up emotions, especially anger. His heart, tired of bearing the burden, begged for peace. Faced with the dilemma, he felt frustrated and hopeless.

“What was I supposed to do? Marry someone just for some sect alliance?” He slashed through the air with his hand.

Xuanlong trudged slowly up to his side and put his hand on Yuelong’s shoulder. “I understand. But what about Murong Zi? Her reputation is… You still have to care about her reputation.”

Yuelong sighed again. He knew he had ruined Murong Zi’s reputation by rejecting their marriage in front of everyone. But the rage was just too hard to suppress. He unconsciously clenched his fist in frustration.

“What do you plan to do now?”

“I don’t know.”

“You know your father is furious.”

“He cares more about the sect and his own face than me. So obviously, he would be,” spat Yuelong.

Xuanlong reached for his hand and tried to pry his fist open. “Relax. You know your father loves you very much. Or else, why would he arrange your marriage with someone as esteemed as Murong Zi?”

“Hmph.” His da-shi-xiong’s words did not have their hoped effect.

“Come on Yuelong, let’s go back to meet the sect leaders.” Xuanlong led Yuelong by the hands.

“What about Lanyue…”

Xuanlong froze. He looked back at Yuelong and met his eyes. He felt a slight tremor in Yuelong’s body and could have sworn he saw a tear forming in the corner of his Yuelong’s eye.

Xuanlong sighed. “Lanyue… I have watched over you two since your very first days here at the sect. You were born here. Lanyue was brought here by his adoptive family. I saw the two of you grow up together, play together, spend your days together. How could I possibly forget him?” A small jewel in the shape of a tear twinkled in the moonlight as it rolled down his shi-di’s cheek.

“But Yuelong,” he continued. “He’s gone already. And even if he weren’t, he would still be our enemy.”

Yuelong pulled his hand back from his da-shi-xiong’s. “No! That’s a lie! Lanyue would never want to hurt any of us…” It was what he wanted himself to believe, that Lanyue was still that pure innocent boy, his cute shi-di. But in his heart, Yuelong truly questioned what he had just said. Was he good? Did he really not want to hurt us?

But what was the use? He was dead, and Yuelong knew that they would never meet again, unless he followed him into the afterlife.

“You saw what happened that day on the cliff. There were dead bodies of our fellow cultivators scattered on the ground. And you still want to protect him?” Xuanlong’s voice gradually became a small whisper as the last words came out. “And he was surrounded on all sides. There was no way anyone would survive that fall.”

The vision of a rotting corpse appeared once again in Yuelong’s mind—the broken black crown, the tattered robes, the mutilated face, the bloodied branches sticking out. It was true. He was dead.

He felt a sudden pressure grow inside of him, bearing down on him with the invisible weight that grew with every second. He found it harder and harder to breathe. He wanted to cry. But no one was there to comfort him. Not even Xuanlong was enough to comfort him…

A hand suddenly reached for the teal sword by Xuanlong’s waist. Before Xuanlong could react, the figure leapt backwards with lightning speed. It was Yuelong who had pulled it from the jewelled sheath, and he examined it under the silver moonlight.

“The only way for me to follow him is through this…” Xuelong sighed.

Xuanlong froze. “Fan Yuelong, what are you doing!?”

A cool ball of energy burst out from Xuanlong’s palms and headed straight for Yuelong. Taking a step to the side, the blast skimmed past his jade-green robes and struck the ground of the garden.

With a twist of his body, Xuanlong spun towards Yuelong, like a drill aiming for the ground. With two hands, Xuanlong grabbed hold of the sword hilt.

“Let go!” demanded Xuanlong.

“Why should I?” cried Yuelong. “It’s the only way I can be free from the pain. Free from the sect! And free from control!”

With a single spring in his step, Yuelong soared into the sky, bringing Xuanlong along with him. With a kick of his leg, Xuanlong rotated mid-air and landed safely on the ground. He looked up and saw Yuelong standing at the top of a spruce tree, his two hands grasped around the sword.

One was on the ground, the other was on the tree, and both of them were frustrated with life. Frustrated that other people controlled their lives and that it was not they themselves who led their own.

“What about shi-mu4?” Xuanlong suddenly said. “Have you thought about what position she’d be in if you do this?”

Yuelong stopped. He stared into the night and realized that he had gone too far. That’s right… What about his mother?

“Think about it! What will Madam Mei do if you’re no longer here?” questioned Xuanlong. “I think it’s best if you go talk to her…”

A billow of clouds floated across the moon, dimming its silver glow. All was silent except for the faint hooting of an owl, its sound travelling across the garden.

He floated down from the towering spruce and landed softly on the garden floor. He returned the sword to Xuanlong and bowed apologetically. Without a word, he turned and walked back in the direction of the palaces.

Just thinking of his mother sent both comfort and pain to his heart. She was the only other person whom he could show his true self to and be comfortable around. No—now, she was the only person.

Xuanlong stood and watched his shi-di disappear into the darkness. He let out a long sigh and followed him back.

“Yuelong, ah, Yuelong… What will you do…”