《Listen Now: A Harry Potter & Remus Lupin Hurt/Comfort Mentor Fic》Chapter 10: Expectations
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Remus brought Harry a heated plate, then left him alone to go pace in the common area again.
Kingsley found him there. He chuckled slightly as Remus paced. "It's strange to see you like this, my friend. You're usually the rational and collected one."
"No, that was always you."
"This is about Harry, isn't it? You're not sure what to say to him."
Remus frowned, looking down. "Haven't the foggiest."
Kingsley nodded. "It's a big commitment, bringing him here."
"I'm not sure exactly what I'm committing to."
"You know exactly what you're committing to. The boy needs a father figure. He's chosen you, and you've already implied your agreement."
Remus swallowed hard.
"Have a seat, man. You look like you're going to pass out."
They sat down across from each other. Remus looked down at his hands, then at the empty fireplace.
"You were a good teacher, were you not?" Kingsley asked.
Remus smiled to himself. "Before I began endangering students? Depends on who you ask."
"The students are the ones who know the truth."
"I'm not sure the Slytherins would be singing my praises."
"I believe the others spoke very highly of you."
Remus shrugged. He could concede that much, but he still wasn't convinced that there was much overlap between teaching and parenting.
Kingsley leaned forward slightly in his seat. "What did you do on the first day of class?"
Remus raised an eyebrow. He had an idea of what Kingsley was trying to do, but he didn't feel like this was going to be helpful. "Ah, for the older students, I began with a practical lesson. I tried to catch their attention, to engage them."
"And for the younger ones?"
"For the first years, I laid down some classroom rules. For safety."
"You let them know exactly what to expect of you, as well as what you expected of them."
"Mm."
"That's what you do with Harry, then."
"I don't know what he expects of me."
"He'll let you know, if you tell him what you expect from him."
Remus nodded. "Thanks, Kingsley."
"I'm here anytime you want to talk."
Taking a deep breath, Remus stood and headed toward Harry's room.
Harry's instinct was to eat quickly, to avoid being discovered. He had to keep reminding himself that he didn't have to scarf down his food, that no one would hear him chewing and come to steal it away from him. He forced himself to chew carefully, to taste what he was eating, and to breathe between bites. The way he ate at Hogwarts.
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He was just finishing his meal when there was a light knock on the door, and Remus came into the room once again.
"Feeling any better?" he asked.
"Yeah, loads. Thanks."
"I am sorry things went so poorly for you, Harry, and that I didn't see the signs earlier."
"It's okay."
"No, it's not."
It was quiet for a moment—Harry didn't know what to say to that. He finally asked, "So, er . . . how long am I saying?"
"Well, you're not going back to the Dursleys."
"I didn't want to assume—"
"You're not imposing, Harry."
"I know it's a . . . a burden on you."
"You are not a burden."
"So, er, I can stay here for the summer?"
As soon as the words were out, Harry regretted them. Remus might try to insist that Harry wasn't a burden, but it was abundantly clear in the look in his eyes whenever Harry brought up staying here that Remus was just trying to make him feel better.
"Sorry," Harry said. "I didn't . . ."
Remus gave him a gentle smile. "For now, let's take this one week at a time. Let's not get too far ahead just yet."
"Okay."
"While you're here, there's going to be some, ah, house rules."
Harry raised his eyebrows. Remus definitely wasn't Sirius. "Sure."
"First thing is, as much as I would like to be your friend, that's not going to be my primary role here. If this is going to work, I need you to accept my authority to act as your caretaker, even if I am not your legal parent. I need to be more like a, um, a guardian figure than a friend."
That didn't come as a surprise to Harry. "Do you still want me to call you by your first name?"
"Yes, Remus is fine."
"Okay." Harry shifted in his seat. "Er, house rules?"
Remus looked down for a moment, deep in thought, then his eyes met Harry's. "You will not lie to me."
Internally, Harry couldn't help but flinch at the words that had been carved into his skin, but on the outside he merely said, "I won't."
"I don't expect to issue many direct orders, but if I do, I need to know you will obey."
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It grated a little to hear Remus phrase it that way, but really, Harry wasn't expecting anything different. He knew he needed to listen to Remus if he was going to be living here. "I understand."
"There's something else, and this is important. At Hogwarts, I know you've had a habit of sneaking around after hours, but I need not remind you that sneaking out here would put both of us in a very challenging position, and it could be a danger to Sirius."
Harry squirmed uncomfortably. "Some of the time when I've snuck out, it's because I needed to do something important. Like stopping Voldemort from getting to the sorcerer's stone, or saving Ginny from the chamber of secrets."
"You should never have had to do those things on your own."
"I never had anyone I could ask for help." Harry bit his tongue after the sentence came out—it sounded almost ungrateful.
Remus's expression softened. "You do now. I promise that if anything concerns you, I'll listen and hear you out, and I'll do everything in my power to ease your concerns. And if anything happens that you don't understand, or if you have questions about things that have happened in the past, I will not keep secrets from you."
Harry smiled. That was something he'd wanted—to not feel like he was working against the adults in his life. To have someone who was on his side.
"Now, Harry, do you have anything in mind that you need from me?"
It took some resolve not to burst out with a plea for a promise that he could stay for the summer. Remus couldn't give that to Harry, not yet. So Harry settled for a lesser concern, though still a very real one. "Er . . . is the protective spell still on me?"
Remus's brow furrowed. "No, I cancelled it as soon as we left the Dursleys. Why?"
"I was just wondering."
It was quiet for a moment as Remus's eyes bore through him.
The tips of Harry's ears burned. He might not have any experience with having a real guardian who didn't abuse him, but he was not about to ask whether Remus would hit him if he got out of line. Even if Remus did, it wouldn't be the end of the world—he was pretty sure Mrs. Weasley whacked her kids sometimes—but he worried it might give him flashbacks of his experiences at the Dursleys.
"Are you worried someone here is going to hurt you?" Remus asked.
Harry's voice caught in his throat.
Remus raised his eyebrows. "Are you worried I'm going to hurt you? Given your background, Harry, I hardly think corporal punishment would be appropriate for you."
Harry felt the heat spreading from his ears to his cheeks and the back of his neck, but he also felt relieved, and he let his breath out.
"Son, look at me."
Harry forced himself to look Remus in the eyes.
"I will never hurt you. You have my word."
Harry nodded, swallowing against the tightness in his throat.
"Anything else on your mind?"
"No, sir," Harry said, though he felt a little guilty about it. He was already breaking the first rule Remus had given him, the rule against lying.
Remus seemed to know it. "Son, I am not going to force you to tell me everything. If you're not ready to tell me what's on your mind, tell me that."
"Er, okay. I'm really sorry, I just . . . I have to think about it."
Remus smiled and gently squeezed his shoulder. "I understand. I won't pester you about it, but let's check in again in a week?"
"Okay." Harry returned the smile, but on the inside, his stomach was churning.
This was going to be a difficult week. Harry had to follow the rules well enough to earn his keep, to ensure that he wouldn't be too much of a burden on Remus and Sirius. This was new for him—like worrying about being expelled from Hogwarts during his first year.
But it would be worth it. If he behaved well enough, he could stay with them for the whole summer. And that was all he wanted.
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