《My Good Friend Murphy》Just Kidding

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“Hey bird~!” Cat waved from the tavern as I walked past on my way out of town. “If you ever want a partner for a mission just put in word at an info drop~! I’ll be there to save you so don’t cry too much~!” ‘I’ve got your bird right here’ I thought while flipping her off.

“Take care Cat!” She laughed a bit and stuck out her tongue before walking back into the tavern.

With that I headed out of the town I’d spent the past year in. On the way out I noticed the town notice board1 standing near the town entrance. These were apparently pretty common in most towns and cities but almost never had any useful information on them since no mayor or governor could agree on where to put the damn thing. Phurst town’s noticeboard was in front of the church, for example. Yep. You remember me walking past the church right? No? Exactly. Anyway, these typically had things like wanted posters and royal decrees on them, things no one really paid any attention to anyway. In fact, on closer inspection, I noticed a royal decree from the King of Taron peeking out from under the notice for the annual drinking challenge at the tavern.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye:

His most royal bluh blah blee King Yugi has etc etc etc made a pact with surrounding good states and most honorable countries of holy shit basically everybody everywhere that the use of pieces and bits is an honest-to-gods ridiculous idea and has put the men responsible for its institution to death. Instead the royal coin blah blahhhh shall be just copper, silver, and gold as well as the most noble of ideas presented by the royal minister of tresu blah blah blah platinum shall be a new coin. That is all

Neat. So the ass-backwards coin system got easier. People apparently either ignored it or just traded goods anyway so I guess it doesn’t matter. I looked forlornly at the drinking competition; the most important information is always on top. Haaaaaaaaa… I wiped a tear from my eye and trudged out of town. Once out of the town I looked at the first mission Boss had given me.

Falcon:

Your first mission is both a mission, and training. In this entire year you trained in magic, but never got the skill. The missions you can take on alone are severely limited by your combat potential and Aura of Misfortune makes team missions incredibly difficult. With this in mind, the mission is to get the Proficiency in Magic skill. There are a few ways you can approach this, but the most efficient is to have a teacher. The magic academy to the south has been freer with it’s entry requirements this past year so we will be taking advantage of that. Our contact in the military has sent two fighters to accompany you to the academy for the same mission. Meet up with them in Phurst town and move from there to the academy. That is all your companions know about the mission. You have two more objectives. One: Contact Colonel Mariche in Phurst town. There is a sealed envelope in your bag detailing who you are and your mission. All you need to do is give it to her. Two: Once you have gotten the magic novice skill, you will be given the opportunity to challenge the Beginner’s Trial. The top five rankers in that trial are given one-time access to the lowest level vault to pick a minor magic item as a reward. In that vault you must leave behind the small green disk included in this envelope. You may kill anyone you absolutely have to but you CANNOT be detected leaving the disk. Also, do what you can to make sure no harm comes to your companions. We have a reputation to uphold after all.

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Good Luck

Boss

That was the most surprising thing I found out this past year. The Assassin’s guild actually works with the army. While they don’t work directly for the army, they often make use of each other when it is convenient and they actually have quite a friendly relationship. They even trade people sometimes as a kind of internship program. I’d met a few of these army interns over the past year and one of them even gave me an update on Grey, who’s apparently working like a madman to pay off some disgrace or other. “Well this will be fun. To Phurst town we go.”

>---------------

“Grey, Kel.” Colonel Mariche looked up from the correspondence in her hands to the two standing in front of her. “How did the investigation go?” Grey snapped his heels and saluted while Kel responded similarly, if a bit more slowly.

“Ma’am! The foreigner said they’d be happy to join and are currently learning under the technology division: putting their ‘technology’ skill to its best use. As for the heratosk subjugation, we exterminated groups from every side of the great forest, but none had the magic mastery that the one that vanished last year displayed.” Mariche nodded once before smiling approvingly at the two.

“You’ve both worked very hard this past year. And so we’ve decided it’s time for you to broaden your capabilities. Grey, your melee ability is nearly unparalleled in your unit and Kel, your magic output is nearly on par with some of our higher mage classes but, neither of you have the magic novice skill as of yet, correct?” Both Grey and Kel nodded. “Excellent. One of the guilds we cooperate with is sending a man to the magic academy to learn the skill, you two are to accompany him, understood?”

“Yes, Ma’am!” They both responded immediately.

“Good. Now, the guild in question is the Assassin’s Guild.” At this Grey and Kel glanced a bit nervously at each other. “You won’t have to worry about him causing you any trouble. This is mutually beneficial for both of us and the Assassin’s Guild is surprisingly strict with their regulations on cooperating. No, what I want you to watch out for is whatever they’re sending an assassin to the magic academy for. We agreed it was for the growth of their junior member, but it is extremely unlikely that that was all they had in mind. I want you to accompany this assassin there, and once there I want you to watch for his objective. Once you know what it is report back to me. There is a caveat to this, however, if you determine that this assassin’s objective is detrimental to our interests I want you to stop him. Use your best judgment on this and do not hesitate.” Kel raised her hand at this point. “Yes?”

“So you mean if he, like, tries to kill the principal we should get him first right?” Mariche grinned minutely.

“It won’t be quite that foolish but yes.”

“Ok cool.”

Ahhhh Phurst town. So many traumatizing memories. So, so many. Well that’s fine it’s a new year and a new me! Bring it on, world! But don’t, actually, I’m still a bit fragile. Very quickly I arrived back at the Adventurer’s Guild House where so many things had gone down, including me, in a shit-chute. Ah wait that was the jail. Anyway I took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

“No fuckin’ way.” Standing right there in front of Mariche behind that same receptionist counter were Grey and Kel. “You guys!! It’s me!!”

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“Holy shit is that the noob??” Kel blinked a few times then pinched herself to see if she was seeing things.

“You little shit! You’re alive!!” Grey roared then wrapped me in a hug. Holy fuck what is this guy’s strength?? My bones are creaking. “Dude! How did you survive? What happened?”

“Ahem.” Mariche coughed gently. “Mr. Jin. My name is Colonel Mariche Jeneller.” I looked up at her and grimaced slightly. “Ahaha yes I’d like to apologize for what happened last year. A lot of things took us by surprise and we couldn’t treat you the way you deserved. I assume the Assassin’s Guild has treated you well?” I was a bit taken aback to be honest. I expected the hard and accusatory glares of a drill sergeant not the… kindness of the adventurer receptionist from the very first time we met.

“I’m sorry Miss Mariche but…I have some pretty bad memories of the last time we met…”

“Ah, of course. You deserve at least an explanation. How about we grab some tea in back and catch up?” I might have been hesitant to follow her since they tried to force a contract on me but this time I had a backup. When I first met Mariche she told me that you can be taught many different skills but dark guilds don’t give up their skills without some kind of insurance and it was true. When I contracted to the Assassin’s Guild by offering a coin it entered me into an exclusive contract. I can’t contract the army or nearly any other group as long as I’m contracted to the Assassin’s Guild and it’s incredibly difficult to break the contract. Knowing this is also probably why Mariche didn’t immediately try and contract me. And so,

“Sure~ Lead the way.” Mariche offered me a grin then headed into the back rooms where I had originally gotten my status plate. We hadn’t even passed two doors before an arm as thick as a tree shot out of a doorway and wrapped me in a bear hug.

“AHAHAHAHA IT’S THE EYE LOVER!! THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD YA RUNT?” Yes hello Amos. It’s nice to see you too. I mean, a little.

“Set him down, Amos. He’s coming in to tell what happened right now. And we, him.” Mariche fired a glare over her shoulder before moving into the next room. Amos put me down without a hint of remorse and proceeded to follow us into the room.

“First things first, Mr. Jin. I was hasty with my treatment of you last year and I am sorry. Do you recall last year when you came to our town that there were reports of a strange heratosk?” I nodded.

“Yeah that thing would friggin’ earthbend. I’m a bit confident in my skills right now but I would survive two seconds against that thing.” Mariche grimaced at my recounting.

“Yes. That one. Well when you had arrived in Phurst town you had gotten here just after a messenger came to tell us that there had been recent sightings of that heratosk. I had wanted to investigate further so I sent you to the mayor and had some men watch you to make sure you got there. That’s when Grey delivered his own report. The heratosk that attacked you, the very same heratosk that I’d received reports of, was sighted by you and Grey nearly 30 leagues from the original sighting in the same day. That made things urgent. We couldn’t afford to waste time on you but we also couldn’t let you run around outside so we used a charm that convinced you to commit a minor crime somehow so that we could jail you where it would be easier to keep tabs on you. Immediately after, Grey and our knights rode with the Mayor to the nearest town to fight the heratosk. They failed to make it in time. The next morning you were gone. I’ll admit I was a bit stressed that morning so I was a bit harsher with the soldiers than I needed to be and Grey tells me that that scared you off. I apologize.” I gave a bit of an awkward smile. “So when the sewer trap triggered we simply didn’t have the time or energy to chase you, so we sent Grey and Kel to catch up to you and keep you company while simultaneously getting any information they could about the heratosk. I heard that at some point the next day you died…which is apparently false.” Mariche commented while raising an eyebrow in my direction. “Well you may not have but approximately 300 others did. The heratosk assaulted three villages in the same day, then vanished and has yet to reappear since.” Mariche set down her teacup and fixed her gaze on me. “Then, weeks later, I receive word that you have been found, in the guild house of the Assassin’s Guild. So Mr. Jin, now that we know how our negligence frightened you off, how are you alive?”

“Ah…well…” I laughed a bit nervously since this part was going to sound weird. “You see, I did die.” Everyone had the same look of surprise at that.

“Eh? Boy, are you messing with us?” Amos huffed. “I saw your plate, you didn’t have rebirth, resurrection, or anything that should have let you live.”

“You’re right. I was brought back by origin.” This time the look of surprise was replaced by one of shock.

“Impossible.” Mariche breathed. “There has never been a case of origin doing that. Are you telling me you managed to level up the skill?”

“Yeah.” I responded. “Though I don’t really know how.” Amos folded his arms and placed a fist against his chin.

“Skills all have specific conditions required to level up. Sometimes it’s just using it a bunch of times, or getting into a certain mindset, but no one has ever managed to get origin past its basic level. What level is it now?”

“Two.”

“What happened at the second level up?” Amos asked while leaning in. Grey and Kel copied him, making sure not to miss my words.

“It evolved a skill back to its original version, and then added that it might do it again with a small chance.”

“How small?” Amos demanded.

“0.0125%.” Amos guffawed at that.

“Exactly what I’d expect from origin! It can do incredible things every now and then but is incredibly useless about it.”He breathed out a sigh. “Well in that case it’s probably for the best you joined the assassins, enigma wouldn’t have thrived here.”

“Amos is right, Jin. We might even have sent you over there if you had joined us originally: just to learn, of course.” Mariche looked at me with different eyes, seemingly reevaluating my worth. “If you ever want to join the army you’re still welcome to. Now there’s one more thing I’m curious about and one thing I need you to tell me. First, Grey reported you saw the rouge Heratosk injured last year, what hurt it? And also…how did you end up with the assassins?”

“Ah. He ate a metal box and I think it hurt his mouth. As for the assassins… well, funny story…”

“YOU JUST WALKED IN AND ASKED??? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA KID YOU NEVER CHANGE.” Amos was delighted, naturally.

“Alright well that’s probably enough chit chat. Why don’t you three get moving while there’s still light out? It’s a long walk to the magic academy.” Mariche said while brushing her hands off. She then turned and smacked Amos, who was still rolling on the floor, on the head before heading out. It’s hard to hate anyone that would smack Amos.

“So, how have you guys been? I said, turning to Grey and Kel.” I was shocked to see tears in their eyes. On closer inspection I noticed Kel was also struggling mightily not to laugh and Grey was desperately trying to hide the grin plastered across his face. These fuckers. “I panicked okay??”

“Sure thing noob. Glad to have ya back.” Kel wiped her eyes then stood up. “Woooo I needed that. Alright let’s head out.”

“Yeah, we’ll walk and talk. Hurry up noob, I’d hate to see you get eaten by corons again.” Grey patted my back then walked out of the room. I quickly followed, pausing outside only to hand Mariche a sealed envelope before walking out of the guild and then Phurst town.

1Almost like it was doing its job

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